Chapter Four, Part 1: Amazing Jhonen Interview Part 2!
So I bet you are all super interested in learning all there is to know about Jhonen. For one time only, you get this super-amazing, spectacular, very informative interview with the one and only Jhonen.
(Fast Talking Legal Dude's Voice: For a limited time offer. Prices are subject to change. Being exposed to Jhonen Vasquez for more than five minutes will force your body to self-destruct and splatter your intestines all over the nearest toddler. That is, unfortunately, a bad, bad thing. This Jhonen Vasquez is not really the real Jhonen Vasquez because the real one is hiding in his magical space station somewhere in his warped little mind, while playing Vice City all night. *deep breath*)
Interviewer Bob: Hi, my name is Bob, and I will interview Jhonen Vasquez.
Jhonen: What are you doing in my house?!
Interviewer Bob: I have my ways of getting in.
Jhonen: Gasp! You have mastered the power of osmosis! *serious face* You must die now. You know too much.
Interviewer Bob: At least let me finish interviewing you! ****! (Expletive is Fucking Edited the Hell out of this Shitty sentence).
Jhonen: Speak quickly. You are wasting my air space.
Interviewer Bob: Are you goth?!
Jhonen: I agree, the weather is nice today. *looks outside window* I like monkeys.
Interviewer Bob: Yes. Yes, you do. Why are you changing the subject?
Jhonen: *does sign language for I am deaf*
Interviewer Bob: You are not mute! Or deaf! I just heard you talking two seconds ago! At least tell me whether you are working on any new projects?
Jhonen: My current project is to get you out of my house. Yes, I am currently very involved in that. *lifts crowbar*
Interviewer Bob: What about women? Any women in your life?
Jhonen: Depends. Are you a woman in disguise? If so, I am even more disturbed at this point.
Interviewer Bob: Do you like Trigun as much as everyone says you do?
Jhonen: No.
(Fast Talking Legal Dude: Any fictional invasion of Jhonen's house is all Interviewer Bob's fault. Maggie is currently drinking carrot juice that has an inspiring message written on the container: We are unique and individual – just like you. You must know this to add to your vast collection of things you have learned subliminally about Maggie the Author Fanfiction writer of Doom and whatever the rest of her superhero title is. *deep breath*)
o-o-o
Chapter Four, Part 2: Devi Comes Home
Devi burst into her apartment and saw Tenna lying on the couch, a compress soaked in green tea lying on her eyes. Hearing Devi enter, Tenna sat up and slid the compress from her eyes and laid it on the table beside her. " Devi? Where the hell were you for half a week?" Tenna muttered. " The people said you just… bugged out. Something to do with a little boy."
" Hmm." Devi could remember Squee's visit now, very precisely. She frowned, rubbing her temples. " Yes, Squee's visit." She mumbled loudly. " Scary little boys. Yes." She was shivering.
" He wasn't an alien, right?" Tenna frowned. " I know some guy who says he was anally probed by aliens. I think he needs to go out more."
Devi shook her head. " Nope. And he didn't see dead people, either. It was just a spooky little boy." Devi shook her head. " It doesn't matter. I'm home."
Tenna crossed her arms over her chest. " Meanwhile, I'm sitting here, freaking out, wondering where the hell you've been! FUCK, I must have called he cops a thousand times, but they couldn't find you on the computer files. It's like your existence is gone!"
" Flusher. Yeah, I expected that to happen." Devi's hands were shaking violently as she slid them through her hair. She made a face. " I feel sick!" She exclaimed, and ran to the bathroom, fell to the floor, and vomited into the toilet. She knew what she must do (outside of brushing her teeth after spewing vomit out). She had to now choose between two worlds – one she despised for all it did to her, and one that she feared for all it promised her.
" Okay; well, I broke into your apartment just so I could check to see if you didn't pass out or anything. I guess I'll… erm… leave now?" Tenna looked nervous.
Devi nodded in reply and then shivered. This was going to be hard.
o-o-o
Chapter Four, Part Three: Johnny Is Not Happy
Johnny thought he'd be capable of doing it. Shutting off the voices. Making his worries go away. Why? Devi was there.
Now he truly and honestly knew he was all alone, doing a job nobody wanted. He sighed and glanced at the wall before him. It had been free of blood for so long now. Yet suddenly he just wanted to kill someone; not for some dark reason, but for a real urge. Yet, the idea of Devi being gone also killed any joy and passion he felt in himself.
Suddenly, he just wanted to die.
But he couldn't, since Squee was around.
Maybe if I kill Squee AND myself in a massive murder/suicide… Johnny thought… Nah. Squee doesn't deserve it.
He looked outside and saw a group of kids standing on his lawn, kicking around a lawn gnome. He jumped up and ran to the window. " Hey! Stop that!" Johnny shouted. Then he looked closer – it was no lawn gnome. It was Squee, lying on the ground in fetal position.
Johnny raced outside.
" AH! Spooky person!" One of the boys shrieked.
" My mom says people like you are the devil!" A little girl sobbed.
They all ran away. It was like a scene from my life. Yay!
Squee looked up, his face smudged with blood, his lower lip split open. He sobbed, tears spilling down his cheeks, and then stood and ran up, hugging Johnny. Johnny didn't remember ever being hugged before. He could remember all the kids suddenly, from his own childhood, standing around him in a circle, calling him Noodle Boy, kicking him down into the dirt. And he remembered lying in fetal position, trying to hide his tears, as they spat on him, their spit running together with his blood. And he'd clench his fists so hard his nails would puncture his skin, and he's lie there, bleeding, squeezing the life out of the grass that he grasped with his fists, as if he were to fall off the face of the earth.
And that horrible shame, that terrible memory of pure and utter pain, raced through Johnny.
And he just held Squee and cried.
(A/N: Gasp! That was depressingly sappy and dark, even for me! And like a snapshot out of my own childhood… *sighs*)
o-o-o
Chapter Four, Part Four: Devi Goes Out!
Devi didn't sit around moping for long. Third day back, she went out to a club. She figured if she could find some people that were still worthy enough of being her companions, she'd be happy forever. She'd simply and utterly submit herself to them; try to see if there was any worth in living in this society. After all, only her fellow peers could help her decide what the world had come to.
And everyone should go out to a club sometime in their lives, right?
So Devi found herself at the Shady Dark Place Of Doom, sitting in the corner of the room, sipping at a nice little glass of carrot juice. Carrot juice is good.
" Good evening, mortal." Someone hissed from behind her.
She felt chills rip upwards across her back and she turned, half-expecting to see someone unusually scary; half-expecting to see someone oddly attractive.
It was a girl, tall and thin, draped in black. She smirked at Devi. " Why aren't you dancing? Everyone loves this song. Everyone." The girl lowered her eyes. " Unless you don't."
Devi bit her lower lip. " I want to enjoy my drink. Thanks."
The girl slapped her hands down on the table. " You don't get it, do you?"
" Meh?" Devi muttered in a question-format sort of way.
" Everyone likes this song. You can't be one of us if you hate this song!" The girl was hissing between her teeth. " You're making yourself look bad!"
" Actually, you're making yourself look bad." Devi replied coolly. Indeed, a few people were already staring at the weird girl and whispering.
" Oh." The girl sighed. " But I thought this was the most popular song ever?"
Devi shrugged. " Last week. Now it's something else."
The girl sat down in front of Devi. " I have to memorize today's popular play list then. I'm Anne Gwysh." (Quite the person to meet when you're debating whether the world is worth living in!)
" Nice to meet you." Devi murmured. " I'm Devi."
" Ugh!" Anne Gwysh exclaimed. " Look at that guy's face! Puh-leeze! Can we say Acutane?"
Devi looked around nervously. " Are you always so loud when insulting others?" Devi quipped.
" He had it coming." Anne gasped out. " He stepped on the foot of my boot an hour ago. And you know what he said? "Great apologies". GREAT APOLOGIES? What the fuck is that?! He should kiss my feet for having contact with a girl like me." Anne frowned darkly. " Nobody appreciates me."
Devi shuffled around on her seat. " Uh… yes." She muttered finally.
" And can you believe that girl with the Bauhaus T-Shirt? I bet she just found out what Bauhaus is a week ago. I swear, everyone suddenly thinks they're the biggest fan." Anne spewed out.
" Like you weren't in diapers when they were coming out? Maybe you weren't even born yet." Devi hissed finally.
" What do you know?" Anne Gwysh exploded. " You're just another wannabe, aren't you?"
Devi's face was prickling red-hot. This little teenage pipsqueak was a real pain in the ass. She had a flashback to her club massacre. Would she dare?
" Why are you looking at me that way?" Anne Gwysh demanded. " Ew, don't tell me you're gay or something."
Half the club turned and stared. Seems like a majority of the people there were bisexual after all.
Anne Gwysh blushed darkly. " I mean, I totally am bi too! I'm just wondering." She was fumbling, faltering on her own well laid-out façade, trying to figure out what to say next without revealing that she was, basically, a poser.
Devi frowned and stood. " I'm tired." Devi whispered, finally. " Tired and disheartened."
" Don't lie to yourself. You just don't belong out here." Anne Gwysh murmured.
Could she be right? Maybe I don't belong here, Devi thought.
o-o-o
Chapter Four, Part Five: Filler Maggie Steps In!
Maggie stared at her computer screen in disdain. She had much more stuff to write; much, much more. Yet, she feared that if she were to write another word of anything, she'd pass out. She figured maybe if she did pass out, her readers would understand. She lifted her fist, which clutched a crowbar, and cried out: " That's it! My face is pie!" (Yummy!)
Maggie was about to bash herself unconscious when an idea hit her. " Must… stop… fist… of… death…" She whispered angrily, slowly setting her crowbar down. After all; her readers depended on her. And she knew that, eventually, some of these people might go on to read HER comics, once she got them published. Which would take at least three more years. But she could always dream.
Using the last of her strength and will power before she fell over into an insomniac's coma (which comes after many days of no sleep, TRUST ME on that one), she typed:
Review. I will hopefully stay alive until the next chapter.
Author's Note: Well, a teense shorter than the last chapter, but all in good cause. I just wanted to update.
