*The last song was "London Rain", this one is "Slide" Thank you all for
your great feedback. I know a lot of the last chapter was a surprise but I
like to keep you on your toes. I'm not finished just yet*
*~*~*~*~*~* "Could you whisper in my ear
The things you want to feel?
I'll give you anything
To feel it coming Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide?
Yeah we're gonna let is slide Don't you love the life you killed?
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you
Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
Something I can't charge
I'll live around it I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide?
Mmmmm, slide And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful Run away And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Run away I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
Yeah slide And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall Oh Oh Oh slide
(Just slide between the sheets of all the beds you never knew)
Yeah slide
Why don't you slide into my room
Just slide into my room
Oh, we'll run away, run away, run away"
*~*~*~*~*~* Ben had woken up long before sunrise and packed, he sat on a chair watching Lucas sleep for hours before he opened his eyes. He didn't know what Lucas had thought about what had happened. He couldn't pretend to not love the boy in a way that was more than friendship. He loved Lucas, but he knew Lucas wasn't in love with him. But Lucas had needed it, he needed someone to make him feel something good again. And Ben knew that they loved each other enough to do it.
Lucas had seemed to be afraid, or maybe it was the lack of experience that made him so held back. His body was so undeniably feminine, soft and tiny. In all his years Ben had never felt another man who was as soft as Lucas. But this morning he was petrified, but all he had to do was get the boy to the SeaQuest and leave. He just couldn't let any of the things that had passed between them leave this room. He had tried to fill the empty space in Lucas's heart. Even if it was only filled for one day. It was too bad that the boy was so young and secluded on that ship. He could make anyone happy, he could have anyone he wanted.
"Ben?" Lucas sat up, scratching his head and yawning, "What time is it?"
"Noon."
The boy jumped off the bed and came over to the older man. He wrapped his arms around Ben's neck affectionately and kissed his neck.
"Not now kid- we have to get going." Ben stood up and threw some clothes on the chair next to Lucas, "Get dressed."
Ben sighed as the boy went into the bathroom, he just had to get Lucas on the SeaQuest. Hopefully he could do that without wanting to turn back to this room, he just couldn't turn one night into another heartache. This was all Lucas's fault anyway, right? Even Ben didn't believe that. When he first met that boy he was cocky and young, but now he was beautiful. He had grown up into the man that Ben always had thought he would. But it was useless to dream about what could be between them.
"Alright. I'm dressed. What now?" Ben looked up and smiled at the boy. He grabbed the bags and walked to the door, just as he had opened it Lucas called out his name. Ben knew what was coming, he turned slowly and looked up into the baby blue eyes staring at him.
"I-I just wanted to say something before we leave this room forever and we pretend last night never happened." He nodded and ran his fingers quickly over his left temple, "I'm sorry. I am. I don't understand why we did-what we did. And I'm not saying I regret it, because I don't regret it-"
"Stop!" Ben threw down the bags and closed the door, "Last-night. What? Did you think you'd just say you don't regret it but 'Sorry Ben for taking advantage of you'? Just do me a favor and stop talking! I know that you don't feel anything for me, I know that you were hurting and needed someone to make it go away, I know that you hope that somehow we forget this and go on as it was but it won't Lucas! And that's the way it goes."
Lucas closed his eyes as Ben picked up the bags once again and walked out of the room. After a moment he opened them again and collecting himself after the shock of the other man's words, he quietly followed.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ben didn't speak the rest of the way, he just drove to the dock. Even on the shuttle he was silent. Lucas just wanted to have him laughing again, to see him smile in that cocky way that had pissed him off and made him laugh so many times. But it wasn't there, just a comatose look on that strong face. He wanted to just shake his head and wake up from this nightmare, to wake up in his bunk with Tony snoring loudly on the bunk beneath him.
The SeaQuest loomed in front of them and there was a sudden jolt when the doors connected. Lucas made sure to grab the bags before Ben had the chance, as the door opened he bolted out and into the Launch Bay. Bridger and some of the crew were waiting for him and immediately Lucas was bombarded with hugs and pats on the back and there were so many voices that he felt as if he would be drowned in them. After a few minutes the crew dispersed to their separate posts and Lucas was left with Bridger, Wendy, and Ben. And after a few more minutes of pleasantries between them all and a few odd glances between Lucas and Ben, Bridger and Wendy left as well.
He wanted to say something to Ben, he wanted to say something that would make it all better. And, for once, he couldn't think of anything.
"I-uh, What I mean to say is that-Thank you-for everything you've done for me." That was it, that was what came rolling out of Lucas's mouth. He felt like an idiot.
"Yeah, you take care Kid." Ben smiled a little and turned to go.
"Ben!" Lucas called out and as the lieutenant turned around he smiled, pausing before he blurted out the first thing that came to him, "Do you remember the time we tried to sell fish poop?"
"If I remember correctly, at the time we didn't know it was poop." Ben laughed and nodded, "We coulda' got a pretty penny for it though."
Lucas nodded as well and sighed, "I know what you think about last night, and I understand." He paused, looking at Ben for a moment before he went on, "I turned to you because I just wanted to feel something besides the pain. You're the best friend I've ever had, and you've helped me in a way that no one else would have. I'm not over Ade, I never will be. I'll always love her and miss her and grieve for her. But I have to live my life."
Ben smiled, "I'll call you, we'll go somewhere, like a road trip. Ok?"
"Yeah.Ok" Lucas grinned and watched Ben board the shuttle.
*~*~*~*~*~*
'Dear Lucas,
I'm in Miami now. I got your email, yea, I'm coming back soon. You know Luke, the beaches here are great, you'd love them. For a kid who lives under the ocean, you don't really get to enjoy it. Just imagine, golden sand meeting crystal-blue water as far as the eye can see. Did you know that when you go swimming at night the plankton glows? I think I'd glow too if someone was kicking me in my sleep. I'll talk to you soon buddy.
Ben
*~*~*~*~*~* "Could you whisper in my ear
The things you want to feel?
I'll give you anything
To feel it coming Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide?
Yeah we're gonna let is slide Don't you love the life you killed?
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you
Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
Something I can't charge
I'll live around it I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide?
Mmmmm, slide And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful Run away And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
May put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Run away I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
Yeah slide And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall
And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that, fall Oh Oh Oh slide
(Just slide between the sheets of all the beds you never knew)
Yeah slide
Why don't you slide into my room
Just slide into my room
Oh, we'll run away, run away, run away"
*~*~*~*~*~* Ben had woken up long before sunrise and packed, he sat on a chair watching Lucas sleep for hours before he opened his eyes. He didn't know what Lucas had thought about what had happened. He couldn't pretend to not love the boy in a way that was more than friendship. He loved Lucas, but he knew Lucas wasn't in love with him. But Lucas had needed it, he needed someone to make him feel something good again. And Ben knew that they loved each other enough to do it.
Lucas had seemed to be afraid, or maybe it was the lack of experience that made him so held back. His body was so undeniably feminine, soft and tiny. In all his years Ben had never felt another man who was as soft as Lucas. But this morning he was petrified, but all he had to do was get the boy to the SeaQuest and leave. He just couldn't let any of the things that had passed between them leave this room. He had tried to fill the empty space in Lucas's heart. Even if it was only filled for one day. It was too bad that the boy was so young and secluded on that ship. He could make anyone happy, he could have anyone he wanted.
"Ben?" Lucas sat up, scratching his head and yawning, "What time is it?"
"Noon."
The boy jumped off the bed and came over to the older man. He wrapped his arms around Ben's neck affectionately and kissed his neck.
"Not now kid- we have to get going." Ben stood up and threw some clothes on the chair next to Lucas, "Get dressed."
Ben sighed as the boy went into the bathroom, he just had to get Lucas on the SeaQuest. Hopefully he could do that without wanting to turn back to this room, he just couldn't turn one night into another heartache. This was all Lucas's fault anyway, right? Even Ben didn't believe that. When he first met that boy he was cocky and young, but now he was beautiful. He had grown up into the man that Ben always had thought he would. But it was useless to dream about what could be between them.
"Alright. I'm dressed. What now?" Ben looked up and smiled at the boy. He grabbed the bags and walked to the door, just as he had opened it Lucas called out his name. Ben knew what was coming, he turned slowly and looked up into the baby blue eyes staring at him.
"I-I just wanted to say something before we leave this room forever and we pretend last night never happened." He nodded and ran his fingers quickly over his left temple, "I'm sorry. I am. I don't understand why we did-what we did. And I'm not saying I regret it, because I don't regret it-"
"Stop!" Ben threw down the bags and closed the door, "Last-night. What? Did you think you'd just say you don't regret it but 'Sorry Ben for taking advantage of you'? Just do me a favor and stop talking! I know that you don't feel anything for me, I know that you were hurting and needed someone to make it go away, I know that you hope that somehow we forget this and go on as it was but it won't Lucas! And that's the way it goes."
Lucas closed his eyes as Ben picked up the bags once again and walked out of the room. After a moment he opened them again and collecting himself after the shock of the other man's words, he quietly followed.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Ben didn't speak the rest of the way, he just drove to the dock. Even on the shuttle he was silent. Lucas just wanted to have him laughing again, to see him smile in that cocky way that had pissed him off and made him laugh so many times. But it wasn't there, just a comatose look on that strong face. He wanted to just shake his head and wake up from this nightmare, to wake up in his bunk with Tony snoring loudly on the bunk beneath him.
The SeaQuest loomed in front of them and there was a sudden jolt when the doors connected. Lucas made sure to grab the bags before Ben had the chance, as the door opened he bolted out and into the Launch Bay. Bridger and some of the crew were waiting for him and immediately Lucas was bombarded with hugs and pats on the back and there were so many voices that he felt as if he would be drowned in them. After a few minutes the crew dispersed to their separate posts and Lucas was left with Bridger, Wendy, and Ben. And after a few more minutes of pleasantries between them all and a few odd glances between Lucas and Ben, Bridger and Wendy left as well.
He wanted to say something to Ben, he wanted to say something that would make it all better. And, for once, he couldn't think of anything.
"I-uh, What I mean to say is that-Thank you-for everything you've done for me." That was it, that was what came rolling out of Lucas's mouth. He felt like an idiot.
"Yeah, you take care Kid." Ben smiled a little and turned to go.
"Ben!" Lucas called out and as the lieutenant turned around he smiled, pausing before he blurted out the first thing that came to him, "Do you remember the time we tried to sell fish poop?"
"If I remember correctly, at the time we didn't know it was poop." Ben laughed and nodded, "We coulda' got a pretty penny for it though."
Lucas nodded as well and sighed, "I know what you think about last night, and I understand." He paused, looking at Ben for a moment before he went on, "I turned to you because I just wanted to feel something besides the pain. You're the best friend I've ever had, and you've helped me in a way that no one else would have. I'm not over Ade, I never will be. I'll always love her and miss her and grieve for her. But I have to live my life."
Ben smiled, "I'll call you, we'll go somewhere, like a road trip. Ok?"
"Yeah.Ok" Lucas grinned and watched Ben board the shuttle.
*~*~*~*~*~*
'Dear Lucas,
I'm in Miami now. I got your email, yea, I'm coming back soon. You know Luke, the beaches here are great, you'd love them. For a kid who lives under the ocean, you don't really get to enjoy it. Just imagine, golden sand meeting crystal-blue water as far as the eye can see. Did you know that when you go swimming at night the plankton glows? I think I'd glow too if someone was kicking me in my sleep. I'll talk to you soon buddy.
Ben
