Title: The Dark Apology
Author: Maea MacDermod
Email: maeve_aislinn@yahoo.com;
feedback is like a drug to me! Please, feed the monkey!
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: "Any society
that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers." - Erik Pepke (but just
in case… Don't sue me, please!)
Spoilers: So anything including
and prior to Heart of Mine is fair game.
Summary: This story is my
thoughts for the episode after Heart of Mine…. I'm an unspoiled Roswellian, so
it's all speculation based on CYN's preview.
Category: General… hitting
on the angsty side
Distribution: Want
it? Take it… just let me know!
***
"Destiny is but a phrase of
the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong and
virtuous admit no destiny."
Edward
George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803-73)
***
Twenty minutes later, I
found myself on the DeLuca's front door stoop. In the million times I'd been there in my life, I can't say that I had
ever really been as mad at Maria as I was right then. I needed information from my 'best' friend so that I could get
the answers I needed from the future version of my ex. How confusing is that?
She
wasn't surprised to see me. "Is he
right? Can *you* save her?"
I wanted
to scream… I was so tired of being asked that. "You're supposed to be my best friend, Maria."
"I
AM! I went to him for you! You… you're Liz Parker – perfect in
everyway. I hate that about you
sometimes, but if you let Tess die… if Tess dies because you couldn't get over
yourself and help her… you might as well die too!" Her tone was full of anguish, a river of
tears cascading down her features, blurring makeup. "You won't be Liz Parker anymore… and you won't be my
friend."
Wanting
to get out of the public area I was standing in, I pushed past Maria and into
her house, settling onto her worn couch.
"I
keep thinking about Alex and Las Vegas."
Maria
was visibly thrown off balance by the subject change. She wiped away the fresh tears, and in the process successfully
smeared her eyeliner. "Yeah, he
had a great time…"
"No…
not that Vegas. When Future Max first
came to me, he told me all about our wedding…"
"I
know, you told me… you guys eloped to Vegas and tied the knot surrounded by
Elvi. So?"
"To
celebrate, you guys met us on our way back to Roswell. Everyone: You, Michael, Isabel *and* Alex. In that future, Alex lived. He
was at my reception." I noted the
shocked expression on her face. "He didn't mention that, did he?" I asked, a tinge of scorn carrying a heavier weight to my words.
She took
a moment to absorb the information I just hurdled at her. "Liz, we all died when the aliens
came. Everyone."
"I
can't think of it that way. My friend
is gone… Tess's life for his doesn't seem like a fair trade."
"I'm
sorry you feel that way."
"Don't
be… I'm not." I paused. "Where is he?"
Maria
sank into the couch next to me. "Why? So you can go yell at
him too? This is his purpose now, Liz. He has to save the world – save the
future."
I
exhaled sharply. "Every time I
turn around I have someone… something… pushing the weight of the world on my
shoulders. I'm seventeen, Maria! Do you even realize how hard this is for
me? I had to give up everything! Everything… and now you say that if I don't
try to save the world again, I'll be dead to you? Maybe I already am… have you thought of that?"
She
placed her hand over mine. "I've
already lost one of my best friends. Please don't make me lose another."
"I
need to find him. I have to tell him
not to come back, to leave me alone. I
have to… can you help me?" there was desperation in my voice and I hoped
that she would feel how I was feeling. I so wanted this to all go away.
Shaking
her head, I watched as her blonde tendrils of hair cascaded over her shoulders,
though I noted a hint of uncertainty in her action.
"Maria?"
My
friend sighed, mentally fighting with herself over the decision to share her
information. "He has no where to
go, Liz – he can't leave…"
"Please!"
I urged, leaning forward.
"He…
he pulled some things from his pocket when he was here… I saw a motel key – uh,
Tumbleweed Inn, I think. I don't know
which room…"
I jumped
up for the door. "Thank you,
Maria!" I called out over my
shoulder. I was halfway down the front
walk when she reached the still open exit, and barely heard her last words.
"Be
easy on him, Liz!"
**
Future
Max was not as expecting as Maria. In
fact, he was outright surprised. He
stood in the partially opened doorway of the motel room, blocking my entrance.
"I
should have known you'd find me."
Getting
down to business, I spoke. "Don't
pull her into this, Max. Maria, me… the
Valenti's… we're all out of this, okay? Stay away from us."
"You
didn't leave me choices,,, I need help. I need *your* help, and I'll do whatever I can to get it. There's more at risk than you know."
"Find
other options!" my voice raised in volume. "Humans are off limits now… got it?" He tried to shush me, but I knocked his hand
away. "What? Afraid the Feds are listening? Or you don't want your neighbors to know all
about you?" I threw my hands up in
desperation. "Trust me! They don't want to know your secret… It'll
just ruin their lives, too!"
Max
stepped forward, in a move I presumed was meant to quiet me, so I put my hand
on his chest to block him. He
immediately jumped back as if my touch burned, but in that short contact, the
single flash I saw explained his motivations. I barreled past him into the cool air of the room, and he was too
stunned to obstruct my entrance. The
knowledge of what I saw paralyzed him.
Inside the
room was a mirror image of the vision I just experienced. On the gaudy flower bedspread laid a child
curled into a fetal position, her arm draped over a worn purple teddy
bear. A child – no, wait… my
child. The flash from Alex's funeral
replayed. Claudia Grace… Gracie, he
called her. Gracie Evans.
As I
felt Max's hand on my back, the slight pressure of his touch blocked out my
ability to see the room any longer, and the future played out in the darkness
of my head.
FLASH:
Future Max and Future Liz were running almost blindly through the thick desert underbrush to the Pod Chamber, the resting place of the Granolith. Their purpose was urgent, and when he reached the entrance first, Max turned to implore his wife to move faster. As she reached his side, Liz looked out to the distance and to the faint outline of the old military base they had called their home for so many years. The alien craft hovered just out of range of the bases defenses – not that there were many defenders still alive in the burning building – sending destructive blows into the main compound. So many people were dying… people who were the last hope for a resistance against the Skins… people like Michael and Maria, who died together just minutes before. Now that rebellion force was reduced to the Royal Pair on the cliff. King Max and his human queen.
Even in
the pressure of the situation, Max took the time to stroke his wife's face,
trying to comfort her. "Serena
knows… she'll take care of her."
A final
blast shook the complex. "Do you
think they made it out?"
"I
don't know," Max's dirty, worn face was full of honesty, "but I can
hope. And if this works, it won't
matter."
The Skin
attack vessel broke off, their new course set to pursue the escaping
couple. "It won't matter because
she won't exist…"
He
pulled her close, waving his hand over the key in the cliff side. The silver handprint appeared, but he paused
to kiss Liz passionately. "She'll
always exist in us. All eternity,
Liz."
A rock
exploded just below them causing their hearts to beat even more wildly than
before. "All eternity, Max."
The
young king slammed his palm into the rough rock, the entryway sliding open with
a grinding swoosh. They rushed in, the
last two with the ability to save the world.
END FLASH
The
scene faded to black, and then eventually my view of room twelve in the
Tumbleweed Inn returned. Gracie lay
perfectly still on the king sized bed, her peaceful sleep echoed in her
rhythmic breathing.
Max
stepped to my side, both of our eyes transfixed on the cherubic form; Grace's
chestnut hair splayed out almost perfectly over the motel pillow.
"I
don't know how… or why, but when I materialized out of the void this time she
was by my side. Her memories of the
fall are minimal."
I fought
to find my voice, and when I did, spoke in a whisper. "Why? Why didn't you
tell me?"
"I
wanted to, but I was afraid… to tell you too much." I could read his eyes better than a
book. He was holding something
back. Taking his hand, I led him over
to a table set away from the bed. I
didn't have to prompt him any further. "You're right… before, you know. I was being selfish. I wanted
you to do this for the wrong reasons... I wanted you to do this for me –
because *I* asked you… because you love me. I'm sorry…"
"What
makes –" I began, but my query was cut off by a small musical voice.
"Momma?"
We both
looked over to see the sleepy five-year-old form of my future daughter standing
a few feet away, clad in footed pajamas. My gaze shot to Max for help, and he nodded somberly.
"Yeah,
sweetie…" I opened my arms to the precious little girl, blinking back the
tears swelling in my eyes. Both Gracie
and her teddy climbed onto my lap and settled to resume her nap.
"I
like your hair long, Momma," she commented softly, running her tiny
fingers over the ends. I felt a slight
tingle from were she touched me. As she
closed her dark brown eyes and snuggled in to sleep, we heard her speak
again. "See, daddy… I told you she
would find us."
Max
smiled at us both. "Yes, you did,
Princess… you sure did."
We sat
in silence until I was certain our daughter was asleep again. "She knew?"
Nodding,
Max leaned close and smoothed Gracie's hair. "Part of her powers. Prophetic dreams… she can also heal and sometimes mindwarp and
dreamwalk." He spoke with fatherly
pride. "So smart Gracie…" he
said tenderly, then turned to me. "She's gifted, Liz… more powerful than any of us ever thought
imaginable."
"Our
hope for the future," I recalled, and then remembered my question from
earlier. "What even makes you
think that I can heal Tess, especially if you – the younger you – can't."
He
stood, peeling off his cheesy tourist tee shirt I assumed he must have bought
on Main Street. I stared on intently
but saw nothing than unbroken skin. The
alien moved over to where I was sitting, taking my hand into his, and guided it
over his muscled abs. A faint glow
formed under our hands and soon a small handprint identical to the one he left
on me so long ago appeared. Wait, no…
it wasn't identical… this one was smaller. He lined my hand up with the shimmering mark; they matched.
"You
healed me, Liz… I was dying and you saved me."
I was
mesmerized by the print. Tracing the
edges with my fingers, I observed as the glow intensified. "But Max… I was your wife…"
"After
that day, you had the ability to heal others… you became our doctor on the
base. I know you can do this. I know it with everything I am."
Dropping
my hand back to my side, I studied the little girl that fit perfectly in my
lap. This was something that was meant
to be… she was something that was meant to be… but changing the future will
take it all away from me. 'How could I
let this go away,' my heart cried out… she's so right…
Max
settled back into the dinette chair, studying us both intently. I got the feeling from his gentle gaze that
he was accustomed to watching me hold our daughter. Gracie shifted and a stray lock of hair fell into her eyes. I gingerly brushed it away, though when my
fingertip made contact with the skin on her forehead, a series of flashes
overtook me.
FLASH: In the middle of labor, Max at my side.
FLASH: Holding my precious child for the first
time.
FLASH: Watching her take her first wobbly steps.
FLASH: Max teaching her to ride a bike, and me
having to heal her scrapes when she fell.
FLASH: Kissing her dirty face for the last time,
leaving her with Serena, and being pulled away by Max… the pain of that moment
filled my heart, but the happiness of the others pushed it away.
My vision cleared and the
current appearance of Claudia Grace Parker-Evans filled my sight. I finally raised my gaze and met Future
Max's eyes.
"Tell me what I have to
do."
**
