SHINGU ATSUZEN 27/3/2003
"Lights, camera, action!"
I was glued to the spot. I couldn't move. I didn't iwanti to move. But Goku and Gojyo were dancing around the stage like maniacs.
This is damn embarrassing.
Hakkai was holding a can of Pepsi Twist with his right hand and the microphone with the other, singing, "Just give me a Pepsi, don't go back -" he spun around and lifted his shades, made a 'peace' pose and winked. "- ask for more!"
Those three idiots threw their cans of Pepsi Twist as a finale and as bad luck had its last laugh, the cans landed right on my head, drenching me in Pepsi, with a twist of lemon.
I'm gonna have to kill someone soon.
"CUT!" Atsuzen shouted, running towards me with her bandaged left arm. "You idiot, you were supposed to be iplayingi the electric guitar, not standing around doing nothing like a blur kid!"
"And why must I?" I retorted. "I don't even want to act in this stupid ad."
"But you must," Atsuzen pressed her index finger on my chest. "I bet on you, OK?"
"Bet on me?" I raised an eyebrow. "For what bloody reason?"
"I bet 100,000 cans of Pepsi Twist that you'll do something interesting in this ad!"
"Well, that's too bad; I'm not going to involve myself in this nonsense …" I walked off.
"But what if I make Hakkai rap?"
Hakkai froze for a moment, and then stared at Atsuzen, bewildered. His mouth was open, but no sound came out.
OK, that sounds a bit tempting. But it's not enough.
I continued to make my way out of the studio.
"What if Goku and Gojyo dance around with pompoms?!" she shouted as I got further away from her.
Her voice echoed through the hallway.
Pompoms?
I turned around.
"So what stupid thing do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Err … maybe break-dance or something?" she shrugged. "Whatever, it's up to you, as long as I don't lose the bet, because I don't have 100,000 cans of Pepsi."
Goku and Gojyo, who were standing on the stage right behind Atsuzen, were shaking their heads and waving their hands at me to say 'no'. Yeah, I know it's embarrassing to dance with pompoms, but it's worth seeing it happen.
"Deal," I grinned.
"NO!" Gojyo moaned. "You stupid corrupt monk! You're gonna make us embarrass ourselves!"
"At least your girlfriend lets you choose what you want to do!" Goku shouted.
Girlfriend?!
"Shut up, you stupid monkey, or I'll make you wear a skirt!" Atsuzen threatened, shaking her fist at Goku.
Hakkai was walking around in circles. "Rapping sounds interesting, but I don't know how to."
Atsuzen buried herself inside the store room. Four blue and yellow pompoms were thrown out. Then a set of baggy, hip-hop clothes came out. Finally, she made her way back out of the room, holding a chain.
"This is for you," she put the chain around my neck. "Break dance with this pair of Levi's jeans." She threw a pair of black jeans at my face.
"Hoy, monkey and kappa, I want to see your cheerleading potential," Atsuzen handed them a blue and yellow pompom each. They looked horrified.
"Uh …" Hakkai tapped Atsuzen's shoulder. "Is this my costume?" He held up the set of baggy clothes.
"Yeah, try them on," she replied. "You'll look cute in it."
Blushing slightly, Hakkai and I walked to the changing rooms while Atsuzen was teaching them how to cheerlead.
I can't believe that barbaric girl
knows cheerleading.
I locked myself in a cubicle and
tried on the jeans. It looked small, but since I was also quite thin and small
myself, I guessed that I could fit into it. I pulled it up my legs.
It was beginning to get tight as I pulled it up my thighs. It was more of a torture when I couldn't even zip the bloody pair of jeans, so I forced myself to suck in my fat-less stomach and force it up. Then I quickly buttoned it.
Dammit, I can hardly move.
It was too tight, way too tight. I banged into a lot of things while walking out to the studio, since my legs were getting numb.
"Have you got that Pepsi spirit?!" Atsuzen shouted.
"YEA, MAN!" Goku and Gojyo replied.
"Let me see it in your arms!"
"OOH, AH, OOH, AH, AH!!!" The two of them punched their fists alternatively into the air as hard as they could with the pompoms.
"Sanzo, how's the fit?" Atsuzen turned to me.
Damn tight.
"I need another pair," I answered.
"It's tight?!" she started laughing.
" … is that a problem?"
She dropped to the floor, laughing hysterically.
"I actually thought it would be too small for you! But, it's supposed to be tight, anyway!"
"Excuse me …"
Deck the halls with bloody bodies …
Hakkai looked ultimately ridiculous in the baggy, rapping clothes. He was laughing silently.
"I think this doesn't quite suite me well," he said.
"Hakkai," Atsuzen got up. "It looks GREAT! I've never had a chance to see you like this before!"
"Why can't we wear cool clothes like that?" Gojyo questioned, looking sulky.
"Because you're using pompoms, and you're lucky I'm not giving you short skirts to wear," Atsuzen replied. "Those Pepsi jerseys are good enough."
"Ahem, my jeans," I said, feeling a bit ignored.
"I told you, it's supposed to be tight," she handed me a hat. "You'll look better with this."
Atsuzen got herself ready at the camera and said, "Alright, people! Get to your places!"
What? Spontaneous act? I can break my leg easily, but I can't break dance…
"Lights, camera, action!"
Hakkai started rapping, somehow making an impressive effort, then Gojyo and Goku cart wheeled into the scene.
That was unbelievable.
Then it was my turn to play my part, so I just dropped to the floor and acted stupidly, twisting here and there, spinning, even surprising myself by doing splits …
And when it came to the end, Goku and Gojyo stylishly threw their pompoms into the air, grabbed hold of my legs and lifted me up. I managed to balance myself although I was not expecting this at all, but I just did my usual, sexy shooting pose as Hakkai threw his Pepsi can up. As I thought it would be a final success, guess what?
It hit the bottom of my chin and bounced back down onto Hakkai's head. We both ignored the pain; we didn't want to do this all over again …
"It's done!" Atsuzen exclaimed, jumping up and down.
The four of us wiped our sweat and let out a sign of relief.
"Hot … hot …" Hakkai stuck his face right in front of the fan, lifting his baggy shirt to cool himself down.
"I'm hungry …" Goku's stomach made a loud grumbling noise. He patted it and said, "Don't worry, tummy, I'll feed you soon enough."
"Yosh! I'll be receiving 100,000 cans of Pepsi Twist once I send this baby in!" Atsuzen kissed the roll of film. "And as a treat, you're all going to get free dinner from me! Along with some wine, beer, liquor, cigarettes …"
"Food, food!" Goku exclaimed.
"Although it was rather embarrassing," Gojyo panted, pouring a whole bottle of cold water on his head. "It was quite fun, too. Sanzo's shirt kept on dropping whenever he did a head stand."
"Idiotic pervert," I retorted. "At least I wasn't acting so much like a gay."
Author's note : I can say most of the time Sanzo-ikkou are OOC, but I'm just doing it for fun!
