Raizo's Rhinoplasty
[Author's notes: Any time an adult character is featured in a kid's role, they will be in chibi form
*Initially George was up for the role of Kyle...then he got a look at the script and went AWOL...in a pinch Argo will be playing him]
[Mr. Yun-Fat's Classroom]
Rain: Domon, you know it's almost Valentine's Day?
Domon: I know.
Rain: Maybe we should go on a cruise or something.
Domon: I can't afford a cruise!
Rain: I know, but we can make a little boat out of cardboard and pretend it's a cruise.
Chibodee bursts out laughing.
Domon: Shut up Chibodee!
Chibodee: That is so lame.
Chibodee stops laughing.
Chibodee: Oh man, eh.
Rain: And then we can dress up in little costumes, and pretend we're getting married.
Chibodee starts laughing again.
Chibodee falls out of his desk.
Chibodee: Stop, seriously, you're killing me over here.
Principal Karato walks in.
Principal Karato: Children, I have some difficult news for you. Mr. Yun-Fat won't be teaching for a while. He has to have surgery.
[Cheering]
Principal Karato: So you're going to have a substitute teacher.
[Groan]
Principal Karato: And I want you to show the substitute the same respect you show for Mr. Yun-Fat.
Argo raises his hand.
Principal Karato: Yes little boy?
Argo: We don't have respect for Mr. Yun-Fat.
[Silence]
Principal Karato: Oh, any-who, I want you all to meet your new substitute, Ms. Allenby.
Ms. Allenby: Hello children.
Argo,Domon: Whoa!
Chibodee: Wow, she's pretty.
Schwarz: Yeh, I'd like to get a piece of her.
Domon: You can say that again.
Schwarz: Yeh, I'd like to get a piece of her.
Principal Karato: Good luck Ms. Allenby. If they get out of control, just use this berserker system, ok?
Ms. Allenby: Thank you, I'm sure I'll be fine.
Domon, Chibodee and Argo are brandishing huge grins. (or as close to a grin as Domon or Argo can offer)
Ms. Allenby: Now, children, I know that you must be very upset about your teacher having surgery. But I promise I'll try to make things as easy as possible for all of us.
Domon and Argo have little hearts floating above their heads.
Rain: [Gasp]Domon, Domon!
Ms. Allenby: Now, let me try and learn your names by your seating assignments. You are, Chibodee Crockett?
Chibodee: Yes ma'am.
Ms. Allenby: Ok, and, you must be Domon Kasshu.
Domon pukes.
[Silence]
Ms. Allenby: Do you need to go to the nurses office Domon.
Chibodee: Nahh, he always pukes when he's in love.
Domon: I'll kick your ass Chibodee!
Ms. Allenby: So, you're alright?
Domon pukes.
Rain looks concerned.
Argo: You had waffles for breakfast, huh?
[Raizo's Rhinoplasty]
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh, I have to admit, I'm still embarassed about getting a nose-job Raizo. I didn't want people at school to know, so I told them I had DG infection.
Raizo:You shouldn't be embarassed Mr. Yun-Fat, people have cosmetic surgery all the time. Before we start, this computer can help you pick what kind of nose you want.
Raizo boots up his PC[You can even hear the hard drive spin up].
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow, isn't that amazing Hat-sensei (a Master Asia puppet).
Hat-sensei: It sure is Mr. Yun-Fat.
Raizo: Now, we could go with something a little smaller, which would make you look like this.
Raizo brings up a new display on the PC.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Hmmm.
Raizo: Or we could straighten out the bridge, which would make you look like this.
Raizo brings up another display on the PC.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh, that's not bad.
Raizo: Of course we could narrow the bridge, which would make you look more like this.
Raizo brings up a display that looks vaguely similar to George DeSand.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow, that's it! That's the nose I want!
Raizo: Alrighty then.
Raizo powers off the PC.
Raizo:Now, I must warn you Mr. Yun-Fat, that there are risks.
[Dramatic music]
Raizo: You could wind up a hideous, foul shadow of a creature.
Zoom in to Raizo's face.
Raizo: So terrifyingly ugly that you are forced to live in the sewers, only emerging at night to hunt for scraps of food.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I can live with that.
Raizo: Alrighty then, let's get started.
[Playground]
Chibodee: She wasn't looking at you buttlord, she was looking at me.
Argo: Well, that goes without saying fatass, how could she help but look at you.
Domon: You guys can stop fighting, it was me she was checking out.
Chibodee: Until you puked on her.
Sai: Hello there children, what's all this I'm hearing about a new teacher?
Argo: Ms. Allenby, she's beautiful!
Rain and Bunny are on swings.
Rain looks dejected.
Sai: Is she like, uh, Emma Sheen beautiful, or Chris MacKenzie beautiful?
The kids appear unsure.
Sai: Or Sayla Mass beautiful?
The kids shrug.
Sai: Or is she Lucrezia Noin in the second season of Gundam Wing beautiful?
Domon: Yeh, that one.
Sai: Wooh, I got to meet this woman.
Rain: Domon, didn't you notice how her left arm is longer than the right one?
Domon: No.
Rain: Well, it is!
Sai: That's ok, you know what they say about women with one arm longer than the other.
Schwarz: Yeh, they can ....
Sai: That's right.
Rain: Well, did you notice that mole on the back of her neck with the hair growing out of it?
Sai: That's ok. You know what they say about women with the mole on the back of their necks with hair growing out of it?
[Silence]
Schwarz shrugs.
Rain: Domon, we're still Valentines, right?
Domon: Sure Rain, whatever.
Argo: Hey, we should buy Ms. Allenby Valentine's Day presents.
Domon: Yeh, we'll go to the mall tonight.
Chibodee: I'm gonna buy her a vacuum cleaner, chicks like vacuum cleaners.
Love-lost music begins playing.
Rain lets loose a tear.
A series of short clips of Domon and Rain from previous episodes are shown while the song is played.
Most shots involve a little vomit on Domon's part.
Vocalist:
[Singing in cantonese]
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby is writing on the chalkboard.
The kids are checking out her ass.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, goodness, would anybody mind cleaning my erasers after class?
Chibodee: Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Bunny: You guys are so immature, act like eight-year olds!
Ms. Allenby: Domon, how 'bout you?
Domon pukes.
Domon: I'd love to.
Rain looks angry.
Ms. Allenby: Now children, let's review our multiplication tables.
Chibodee raises his hand.
Ms. Allenby: Chibodee?
Chibodee: What's a multiplication table?
Ms. Allenby: Didn't Mr. Yun-Fat teach multiplication?
[Silence]
Ms. Allenby: Well, where did he leave off?
Chibodee: We were learning about how Quess Paraya is going after that Char Aznable guy that used to be on Mobile Suit Gundam, but then he got his own show for just a little while.
Ms. Allenby is somewhat taken aback.
The classroom door opens.
Sai is in the doorway.
Sai: Oh, hello.
Ms. Allenby: Can I help you?
Sai: [Sultry]I'm Sai.
Ms. Allenby: And...?
Sai: I just, uh, I stopped buy 'cause little Argo forgot his laundy detergent on the playground.
Argo: My laundry detergent?
Domon: That's not Argo's....
Sai: Shhh. Crazy fighters always leaving their detergent all over the place.
Sai puts the detergent on Argo's desk.
Sai: What was your name again?
Chibodee: Uh oh, Sai's movin' in on Ms. Allenby.
Ms. Allenby: I'm the substitute.
Sai: Well, I'm sure there's no substitute for you.
Ms. Allenby: That's very nice Mr. Sai, now, if you're finished....
Music starts playing.
Sai:
[Singing]Nobody could take your place. No way they could match your face. No. You got it goin' on in a way so clear. I just want to buy you a beer. Maybe tonight at 7: 30 or something I could, uh, come by and,uh, pick you up in my car. {No substitute
Domon: We've got to learn how to do this dude.
Argo: Yep.
Ms. Allenby: That was enthralling Mr. Sici, but, could I get back to teaching now?
Sai: If we can have dinner tonight.
Ms. Allenby: Fine Sai, just let me do my job before I get fired.
Chibodee: Oh, weak! Sai's gonna make sweet love to Ms. Allenby!
Ms. Allenby: What?!?
[Raizo's Rhinoplasty]
Raizo: Mr. Yun-Fat! Mr. Yun-Fat!
Mr. Yun-Fat: Where? Where am I?
Raizo: The operation is over Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I, I feel weak. How do I look?
Raizo: You look great!
Mr. Yun-Fat's Head is covered in bandages smattered with blood.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I, I feel kind of nauseous.
Raizo: Yes, well that's to be expected. We did some major reconstruction. Sawed through some bone, snapped some cartilage.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Uhhhh.
Raizo: All the blood and mucous, just the sound of bone and sinew coming apart.
Raizo makes a breaking sound.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Ahhh.
Raizo: By the way, did you ever see that movie, Evangelion: Death and Rebirth?
Mr. Yun-Fat vomits violently.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh stop, that movie was terrible!
Raizo: Oh, well, I'm sorry Mr. Yun-Fat. Why don't you get some rest? I'll check on you a little later.
Raizo leaves.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Waited through that entire movie to see something new, and the first half was the goddamed series all over again.
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby: Ok kids, remember your homework. We have a lot of catching up to do.
Chibodee: Goodbye Ms. Allenby.
Argo: Stop kissing ass Chibodee.
Chibodee: I'm not kissing ass you stupid fleck!
Rain: Ms. Allenby, can I talk to you?
Ms. Allenby: Of course Rain.
Rain: I couldn't help but notice you taking a liking to my boyfriend Domon.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, well, I've taking a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and full of life.
Rain: Can I tell you something Ms. Allenby?
Ms. Allenby: Of course Rain.
Rain: Don't fuck with me!
Ms. Allenby: What?
Rain: You heard me! Stay away from my man, bitch or I'll whip your sorry whole ass back to last year!
Rain leaves.
Rain: Bye Ms. Allenby.
[Commecial]
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby: Well, I certainly want to thank all you lovely children for the presents you bought me.
Ms. Allenby opens one of the gifts.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, what a delightful scarf. Thank you Argo.
Argo grins gleefully.
Domon: [Cough]Loser gift. [Cough]Loser gift.
Ms. Allenby: And here's one from Schwarz.
She opens the gift.
Ms. Allenby:Oh, thank you very much Schwarz, this is a very scrumptious looking sausage.
Schwarz laughs.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, and what a nice alarm clock, thank you Domon.
Domon pukes.
Ms. Allenby: And here's another present, from Rain.
Ms. Allenby opens the gift.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, why, it's a dead animal. Thank you Rain.
Rain glares back evilly.
Domon: See, she liked my present the best.
Argo: Where's your present Chibodee?
Chibodee has some chocolate smeared on his face.
Chibodee: Oh, well, I got Ms. Allenby a chocolate pie, but, I uh, left it at home.
Ms. Allenby: Ok kids, we're going to take a spelling test now.
[Gasp]
Ms. Allenby: But as an extra incentive, I'm going to take whoever gets the highest score on the quiz out to dinner.
Chibodee: Ah man, I wish I knew how to spell.
Ms. Allenby: Are there any questions before we begin?
Rain raises her hand.
Ms. Allenby: Yes Rain?
Chibodee is chowing down on some pie.
Rain: When someone gets as old as you, do they have to wear Depends Undergarments?
Ms. Allenby stares back blankly.
[Silence]
[Cafeteria]
Argo: I aced that test. I'm gonna win that dinner with Ms. Allenby.
Domon: No you're not, I don't think I missed any.
Rain: Hi Domon.
Domon: I bet I scored a hundred.
Rain: HI DOMON!!!!
Domon: Oh, hi Rain.
Rain: I was just in the bathroom, and Ms. Allenby was in there taking the biggest dump I've ever seen.
Argo: No she wasn't.
Rain: YES SHE WAS!
Domon: That's impossible.
Rain: Well, she did. And she has horrible, horrible gas, too! She says she can't control it!
Chibodee: Nuh uh.
Rain: It smelled like a dead calf rotting in the hot sun.
Argo: Oh, cool.
Chibodee: Alright, Rain, seriously, you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing.
Argo: Yeh, you're acting like a freak Rain.
Rain: NO I'M NOT ACTING LIKE A FREAK[echoes]!!!!
[Silence]
Chibodee:Damn man, somebody's got to pull that monkey out of Rain's ass.
Sai: Hello there children.
Chibodee: Oh, hey Sai.
Argo: How did your date with Ms. Allenby go?
Sai: Not too good.
Domon: What happened? Didn't you make sweet love to her?
Sai: No, no, no, she's not like that. You see. Uh, how do I put this? Children, Ms. Allenby doesn't exactly play for the right team.
[Silence]
Sai: In, in, in other words, children, she's not a member of the heterosexual persuasion.
[Silence]
Sai: Don't you understand? She's a lesbian.
Domon: A what-bian?
Argo: A plebian?
Sai: You boys don't know what a lesbian is?
Domon: Schwarz?
Schwarz shrugs.
Domon: No, explain it to us Sai.
Sai: That, that's ok. Uh, ba, look, all you need to know is: Ms. Allenby's a lesbian, and that means she only likes other lesbians.
Domon: Oh.
Sai: Now move along children, you're holding up the line.
Argo: Weak dude, she only likes other lesbians.
Domon: Hey man, if she only likes other lesbians, then all we gotta do is become lesbians too.
Argo: Hey, yeh.
Chibodee: You guys, you know what? My grandma was Dutch-Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian, that makes me quarter-lesbian.
Domon: You're just saying that Chibodee.
Argo: Yeh, you're not a lesbian fatass.
Chibodee: I am too.
[Raizo's Rhinoplasty]
Raizo: Ok, only a few more bandages to go.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Well?
Raizo: Take a look for yourself.
Mr. Yun-Fat checks himself in the mirror.
He looks a lot like George DeSand.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow, that's a pretty good nose job! What do you think Hat-sensei?
Hat-sensei: I think it looks great.
Raizo: Yes, I think once the swelling goes down, you'll really notice a difference.
[Chibodee's House]
Chibodee is on the floor, licking the rug.
Domon: What the hell are you doing Chibodee?
Chibodee: My mom said if you want to become a lesbian, you have to lick carpet.
Domon: Really?
Domon: Well, I got a Indiglo Girls CD, the guy at the record store said it was perfect.
Domon puts the CD on.
Argo: And I got these killer Birkenstocks.
Argo is putting on the Birks.
They all start licking the carpet.
Chibodee: This is a bunch of crap! I've been licking this carpet for three hours, and I still don't feel like a lesbian.
[Street in Neo-Hong Kong]
Hong Kong Sightseeing is playing.
Mr. Yun-Fat is grooving down the street.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Hi Miss Maria Louise.
Maria: Ohh, howdy Mr. Yun-Fat. Say honey, you look kind of different.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Really?
Maria: Did you get a haircut?
Mr. Yun-Fat: No, but thanks for asking.
Mr. Yun-Fat starts walking away.
Maria: [After Mr. Yun-Fat]Call me, I'm in the book!
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow Hat-sensei, having a nose job is even better than I thought. There's a whole world of opportunity opening up in front of us.
[Rain's House]
Rain: Thanks for coming over Bunny.
Bunny: That's ok Rain. I brought my makeup kit like you asked me. What are we doing anyway?
Rain: That mean old substitute isn't going to stop until she takes everything from me Bunny.
Bunny: Really?
Rain: Yeh, what I'd really like to do is load her into a rocket and have her shot into the center of the sun. But instead, I'll just get Domon to notice me again. Bunny, I need a makeover!
Bunny: Oh, cool!
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Domon: I can't wait for Ms. Allenby to see what a raging lesbian I am.
Chibodee: I'm a bigger lesbian than you.
Domon: No, you're a fatter lesbian than me.
Argo: Screw you guys, I'm king lesbian.
Chico: Whoa, is that Rain Mikamura?
Sleazy music starts playing.
Rain has a lot of makeup on.
Rain walks into the classroom, cigarette in mouth.
Rain: Hi guys, what's up?
Chibodee: Wow, Rain looks just like that chick from Mobile Suit Gundam, Garma Zabi.
Domon: Wow, hi Rain.
Rain: Oh, hi Domon. [To Bunny]I think it worked Bunny.
Bunny: Yeh.
Sleazier music starts playing.
Ms. Allenby: Good morning children.
Argo, Domon: Wow!
Chibodee: Dang, duh, dang!
Argo: Yeh.
Ms. Allenby: Oh Rain, you wore black leather too. We're like sisters.
Rain: Die!!!
Ms. Allenby: Alright kids, I finished grading your papers and the person with the highest score is....
Mr. Yun-Fat walks into the classroom.
Mr. Yun-Fat:Hello there children.
Hong Kong Sightseeing starts playing.
Domon: Oh no, Mr. Yun-Fat's back.
Chibodee: Ah, weak dude.
Carnival music starts playing.
Rain: [Singing]Hooray, hooray, hooray for Mr. Yun-Fat! He's back, he's back, Mr. Yun-Fat is back!
Rain begins waving.
Rain: So long substitute, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out now.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Children, I have a very important announcement to make.
Carnival music comes to a halt.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I'm quitting my job as a teacher.
[Gasp]
Rain: What?
Mr. Yun-Fat: It's strange, but suddenly I feel really confident about myself. And I've decided to quit teaching and do what I've always dreamed of doing, hang out and screw hot chicks.
Rain: You-you can't.
Mr. Yun-Fat: But the good news is, I've already talked to Principal Karato about it, and Ms. Allenby can stay on as your permanent teacher.
[Cheering]
Ms. Allenby: Really?
Principal Karato: That's right. Will you stay?
Ms. Allenby: Well...sure.
Rain: Noooooooo!!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!
Ms. Allenby: Oh, by the way kids, the person who scored highest on the quiz and gets to have dinner on me, is, Domon.
Domon pukes.
Domon: Kick ass!
Rain: Noooooooo!!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!
Principal Karato: Oh, and Rain, I almost forgot, we just got a call in the office. Your grandma just died.
Rain: AHHHHHHHHH!
Principal Karato: Ooh, my, what an exciting day.
[Commercial]
[Photo Dojo]
Hong Kong Sightseeing is playing.
Mr. Yun-Fat is modelling.
Photographer: Great baby, you're looking great.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I'm a lady killer, Hat-sensei!
Hat-sensei: You can say that again Mr. Yun-Fat!
Photographer: Ok, just a few hundred more shots and we'll be done.
Mr. Yun-Fat: A few hundred?
Photographer: Hey, that's the life of a model, baby.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh boy, I'm gonna need some more smack.
Photographer: You got it!
[King Jin's Buffet]
Ms. Allenby: I'm very glad we could have dinner together Domon. I want you to know that I really care about your education.
Domon: Are we making love now?
Ms. Allenby: Excuse me?
Domon: They don't have a fireplace here, we shouldn't be making love yet.
Ms. Allenby: What are you talking about?
Domon: You have to make love down by the fire, that's what Sai always says.
Ms. Allenby: Domon, I'm your teacher ok, we're only friends.
Domon: But why?
Ms. Allenby: Well, first of all, you're eight.
Domon: It's because I'm not a lesbian, isn't it?
Ms. Allenby: Oh boy.
[Outside King Jin's]
Rain: It's over. I give up.
[Street in Neo-Hong Kong]
Mr. Yun-Fat is leaning upon a mailbox.
Mr. Yun-Fat:Boy, I'll tell you something Hat-sensei, being a hot and sexy bish is fun for a while, but it sure does get boring.
Hat-sensei:You can say that again Mr. Yun-Fat.
A crowd of screaming fangirls come charging towards Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: What the?
The women begin tearing at Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Whoa, hey, wait, wait, ahhh! Hat-sensei, save yourself!
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Argo: So how'd your date with Ms. Allenby go?
Chibodee: Did you make love?
Domon: I think so.
Chibodee: No way!
Domon: Yup.
Argo: Down by the fire?
Domon: Yup.
Schwarz: And did you stick it in where....
Domon: Did I what?!?
Ms. Allenby: Good morning children.
Rain: Ms. Allenby, can I talk to you?
Ms. Allenby: Sure, but can it wait til after class Rain?
Rain: No. I just have to apologize for the way I've been acting.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, that's ok Rain.
Rain: No, it's not. Since you're here to stay, I just hope we can be friends.
Ms. Allenby: Well, I would love that Rain.
Rain: And, mmm, I want to apologize to everybody. The way I acted was wrong.
Rain begins to break up.
Rain: And I've learned from it. I just wish Domon, and Ms. Allenby would have all the happiness in the world.
Ms. Allenby: Rain, there's nothing between me and Domon!
Chibodee: That's not what we just heard.
[Street in Neo-Hong Kong]
Screaming women continue to chase after Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh, Hat-sensei, I hate this. I wish I'd never had a nose job.
The women round the corner after Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Damn this beautiful face of mine, damn it to hell. We have to get the surgery again Hat-sensei.
Mr. Yun-Fat slips into Raizo's Rhinoplasty.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I want to be the old me again.
Screaming women run by.
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby: Ok children, let's catch up on our cursive handwriting.
A group of Neo-Turkish soldiers burst into the classroom.
Seitt: Down, down, everybody down!
Chibodee: What the hell!
All the kids dive under their desks.
Seitt: So, we meet again Ms. Allenby.
Principal Karato: And just what is going on here mister.
Seitt: I am Seitt Gyuzelle, of the mighty nation of Neo-Turkey. This woman is a traitor to our government.
Ms. Allenby: It's a lie.
Seitt: She has killed thousands, and will kill again I assure you.
Principal Karato: Ms. Allenby, is this true?
Ms. Allenby: No!
Seitt: We must take her back to Neo-Turkey immediately!
Rain: Oh, cool!
Ms. Allenby: Principal Karato, please.
Seitt: Here is a black and white photo of Ms. Allenby with our leader, her real name is Makesh Alak Makarakesh.
Principal Karato: Well Ms. Makarakesh, you certainly tried to put one over on us. Take her away!
Ms. Allenby: Nooooo! Get away from me! Ahhh!!
Ms. Allenby takes a scimitar from one of the soldiers.
She swings it about.
The scimitar flies from her hand straight towards Schwarz.
The scimitar skewers Schwarz in the head, continueing on with Schwarz into the back wall.
Domon: Oh my god, she killed Schwarz!
Argo: You bastard!
The soldiers take Ms. Allenby away.
Ms. Allenby: Noooo!!!
Rain: Wow, what incredible irony.
[Neo-Hong Kong Elementary]
Domon: Wow, I can't believe Ms. Allenby was a criminal Neo-Turkish fugitive.
Rain: Yeh, you just never know.
Domon: Well, I guess I'm sorry that I was ignoring you and stuff.
Rain: Happy Valentine's Day, Domon.
The two move to kiss.
Domon pukes.
Domon:Sorry.
Rain: No, it's ok Domon, everything's going to be ok!
Argo: Chibodee, are you still trying to become a lesbian?
Chibodee: Yeh dude, my mom says all I have to do is chow on this box.
[Commercial]
[Neo-Turkey]
Seitt: For crimes against this country, you're hereby sentenced to be shot into the center of the sun.
Ms. Allenby: Uhh, this is all a mistake. This can't be happening!
Some soldiers throw Ms. Allenby into a rocket.
Ms. Allenby: Please!!! For the love of God!!!
Seitt: Shut up!!!
The rocket is fired towards the sun.
[Rain's Backyard]
Rain and Bunny are kicking back, wearing shades.
Maria: Woohoo!! Great party Rain.
Rain: Thanks Maria Louise. Thanks for helping me get Mr. Yun-Fat to come back as a teacher.
Maria: Anything for you, sugar-pie.
Rain: Oh, hi Argo.
Argo: I've been thinking Rain, this whole outcome is pretty strange.
Some suits walk up to Rain.
Rain:Uh huh, excuse me.
Rain: Kah farakh kah lakhenblakh.
Turk: Kah farekh keh lakhenblakh.
Rain: Lassen blakh ehlakhi yayalakhenblakh.
Turk: Kahleshi lah lakhenblakhersh.
Rain: Lakhenblakh.
Turk: Ahh, lakheblakhelah.
Argo: How was it that Ms. Allenby was suddenly arrested for being a Neo-Turkish....
Rain: Wait, wait, shh. It's time to whip out the eclipse shoebox thing.
Rain looks through the box and watches as the rocket hits the center of the sun.
Rain: Bye-bye Ms. Allenby.
Argo: (shocked) Rain, you didn't?
Rain: I told her.
[Psycho music]
Rain: Don't-fuck-with-Rain-Mikamura.
[fin]
[Author's notes: Any time an adult character is featured in a kid's role, they will be in chibi form
*Initially George was up for the role of Kyle...then he got a look at the script and went AWOL...in a pinch Argo will be playing him]
[Mr. Yun-Fat's Classroom]
Rain: Domon, you know it's almost Valentine's Day?
Domon: I know.
Rain: Maybe we should go on a cruise or something.
Domon: I can't afford a cruise!
Rain: I know, but we can make a little boat out of cardboard and pretend it's a cruise.
Chibodee bursts out laughing.
Domon: Shut up Chibodee!
Chibodee: That is so lame.
Chibodee stops laughing.
Chibodee: Oh man, eh.
Rain: And then we can dress up in little costumes, and pretend we're getting married.
Chibodee starts laughing again.
Chibodee falls out of his desk.
Chibodee: Stop, seriously, you're killing me over here.
Principal Karato walks in.
Principal Karato: Children, I have some difficult news for you. Mr. Yun-Fat won't be teaching for a while. He has to have surgery.
[Cheering]
Principal Karato: So you're going to have a substitute teacher.
[Groan]
Principal Karato: And I want you to show the substitute the same respect you show for Mr. Yun-Fat.
Argo raises his hand.
Principal Karato: Yes little boy?
Argo: We don't have respect for Mr. Yun-Fat.
[Silence]
Principal Karato: Oh, any-who, I want you all to meet your new substitute, Ms. Allenby.
Ms. Allenby: Hello children.
Argo,Domon: Whoa!
Chibodee: Wow, she's pretty.
Schwarz: Yeh, I'd like to get a piece of her.
Domon: You can say that again.
Schwarz: Yeh, I'd like to get a piece of her.
Principal Karato: Good luck Ms. Allenby. If they get out of control, just use this berserker system, ok?
Ms. Allenby: Thank you, I'm sure I'll be fine.
Domon, Chibodee and Argo are brandishing huge grins. (or as close to a grin as Domon or Argo can offer)
Ms. Allenby: Now, children, I know that you must be very upset about your teacher having surgery. But I promise I'll try to make things as easy as possible for all of us.
Domon and Argo have little hearts floating above their heads.
Rain: [Gasp]Domon, Domon!
Ms. Allenby: Now, let me try and learn your names by your seating assignments. You are, Chibodee Crockett?
Chibodee: Yes ma'am.
Ms. Allenby: Ok, and, you must be Domon Kasshu.
Domon pukes.
[Silence]
Ms. Allenby: Do you need to go to the nurses office Domon.
Chibodee: Nahh, he always pukes when he's in love.
Domon: I'll kick your ass Chibodee!
Ms. Allenby: So, you're alright?
Domon pukes.
Rain looks concerned.
Argo: You had waffles for breakfast, huh?
[Raizo's Rhinoplasty]
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh, I have to admit, I'm still embarassed about getting a nose-job Raizo. I didn't want people at school to know, so I told them I had DG infection.
Raizo:You shouldn't be embarassed Mr. Yun-Fat, people have cosmetic surgery all the time. Before we start, this computer can help you pick what kind of nose you want.
Raizo boots up his PC[You can even hear the hard drive spin up].
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow, isn't that amazing Hat-sensei (a Master Asia puppet).
Hat-sensei: It sure is Mr. Yun-Fat.
Raizo: Now, we could go with something a little smaller, which would make you look like this.
Raizo brings up a new display on the PC.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Hmmm.
Raizo: Or we could straighten out the bridge, which would make you look like this.
Raizo brings up another display on the PC.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh, that's not bad.
Raizo: Of course we could narrow the bridge, which would make you look more like this.
Raizo brings up a display that looks vaguely similar to George DeSand.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow, that's it! That's the nose I want!
Raizo: Alrighty then.
Raizo powers off the PC.
Raizo:Now, I must warn you Mr. Yun-Fat, that there are risks.
[Dramatic music]
Raizo: You could wind up a hideous, foul shadow of a creature.
Zoom in to Raizo's face.
Raizo: So terrifyingly ugly that you are forced to live in the sewers, only emerging at night to hunt for scraps of food.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I can live with that.
Raizo: Alrighty then, let's get started.
[Playground]
Chibodee: She wasn't looking at you buttlord, she was looking at me.
Argo: Well, that goes without saying fatass, how could she help but look at you.
Domon: You guys can stop fighting, it was me she was checking out.
Chibodee: Until you puked on her.
Sai: Hello there children, what's all this I'm hearing about a new teacher?
Argo: Ms. Allenby, she's beautiful!
Rain and Bunny are on swings.
Rain looks dejected.
Sai: Is she like, uh, Emma Sheen beautiful, or Chris MacKenzie beautiful?
The kids appear unsure.
Sai: Or Sayla Mass beautiful?
The kids shrug.
Sai: Or is she Lucrezia Noin in the second season of Gundam Wing beautiful?
Domon: Yeh, that one.
Sai: Wooh, I got to meet this woman.
Rain: Domon, didn't you notice how her left arm is longer than the right one?
Domon: No.
Rain: Well, it is!
Sai: That's ok, you know what they say about women with one arm longer than the other.
Schwarz: Yeh, they can ....
Sai: That's right.
Rain: Well, did you notice that mole on the back of her neck with the hair growing out of it?
Sai: That's ok. You know what they say about women with the mole on the back of their necks with hair growing out of it?
[Silence]
Schwarz shrugs.
Rain: Domon, we're still Valentines, right?
Domon: Sure Rain, whatever.
Argo: Hey, we should buy Ms. Allenby Valentine's Day presents.
Domon: Yeh, we'll go to the mall tonight.
Chibodee: I'm gonna buy her a vacuum cleaner, chicks like vacuum cleaners.
Love-lost music begins playing.
Rain lets loose a tear.
A series of short clips of Domon and Rain from previous episodes are shown while the song is played.
Most shots involve a little vomit on Domon's part.
Vocalist:
[Singing in cantonese]
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby is writing on the chalkboard.
The kids are checking out her ass.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, goodness, would anybody mind cleaning my erasers after class?
Chibodee: Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Bunny: You guys are so immature, act like eight-year olds!
Ms. Allenby: Domon, how 'bout you?
Domon pukes.
Domon: I'd love to.
Rain looks angry.
Ms. Allenby: Now children, let's review our multiplication tables.
Chibodee raises his hand.
Ms. Allenby: Chibodee?
Chibodee: What's a multiplication table?
Ms. Allenby: Didn't Mr. Yun-Fat teach multiplication?
[Silence]
Ms. Allenby: Well, where did he leave off?
Chibodee: We were learning about how Quess Paraya is going after that Char Aznable guy that used to be on Mobile Suit Gundam, but then he got his own show for just a little while.
Ms. Allenby is somewhat taken aback.
The classroom door opens.
Sai is in the doorway.
Sai: Oh, hello.
Ms. Allenby: Can I help you?
Sai: [Sultry]I'm Sai.
Ms. Allenby: And...?
Sai: I just, uh, I stopped buy 'cause little Argo forgot his laundy detergent on the playground.
Argo: My laundry detergent?
Domon: That's not Argo's....
Sai: Shhh. Crazy fighters always leaving their detergent all over the place.
Sai puts the detergent on Argo's desk.
Sai: What was your name again?
Chibodee: Uh oh, Sai's movin' in on Ms. Allenby.
Ms. Allenby: I'm the substitute.
Sai: Well, I'm sure there's no substitute for you.
Ms. Allenby: That's very nice Mr. Sai, now, if you're finished....
Music starts playing.
Sai:
[Singing]Nobody could take your place. No way they could match your face. No. You got it goin' on in a way so clear. I just want to buy you a beer. Maybe tonight at 7: 30 or something I could, uh, come by and,uh, pick you up in my car. {No substitute
Domon: We've got to learn how to do this dude.
Argo: Yep.
Ms. Allenby: That was enthralling Mr. Sici, but, could I get back to teaching now?
Sai: If we can have dinner tonight.
Ms. Allenby: Fine Sai, just let me do my job before I get fired.
Chibodee: Oh, weak! Sai's gonna make sweet love to Ms. Allenby!
Ms. Allenby: What?!?
[Raizo's Rhinoplasty]
Raizo: Mr. Yun-Fat! Mr. Yun-Fat!
Mr. Yun-Fat: Where? Where am I?
Raizo: The operation is over Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I, I feel weak. How do I look?
Raizo: You look great!
Mr. Yun-Fat's Head is covered in bandages smattered with blood.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I, I feel kind of nauseous.
Raizo: Yes, well that's to be expected. We did some major reconstruction. Sawed through some bone, snapped some cartilage.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Uhhhh.
Raizo: All the blood and mucous, just the sound of bone and sinew coming apart.
Raizo makes a breaking sound.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Ahhh.
Raizo: By the way, did you ever see that movie, Evangelion: Death and Rebirth?
Mr. Yun-Fat vomits violently.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh stop, that movie was terrible!
Raizo: Oh, well, I'm sorry Mr. Yun-Fat. Why don't you get some rest? I'll check on you a little later.
Raizo leaves.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Waited through that entire movie to see something new, and the first half was the goddamed series all over again.
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby: Ok kids, remember your homework. We have a lot of catching up to do.
Chibodee: Goodbye Ms. Allenby.
Argo: Stop kissing ass Chibodee.
Chibodee: I'm not kissing ass you stupid fleck!
Rain: Ms. Allenby, can I talk to you?
Ms. Allenby: Of course Rain.
Rain: I couldn't help but notice you taking a liking to my boyfriend Domon.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, well, I've taking a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and full of life.
Rain: Can I tell you something Ms. Allenby?
Ms. Allenby: Of course Rain.
Rain: Don't fuck with me!
Ms. Allenby: What?
Rain: You heard me! Stay away from my man, bitch or I'll whip your sorry whole ass back to last year!
Rain leaves.
Rain: Bye Ms. Allenby.
[Commecial]
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby: Well, I certainly want to thank all you lovely children for the presents you bought me.
Ms. Allenby opens one of the gifts.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, what a delightful scarf. Thank you Argo.
Argo grins gleefully.
Domon: [Cough]Loser gift. [Cough]Loser gift.
Ms. Allenby: And here's one from Schwarz.
She opens the gift.
Ms. Allenby:Oh, thank you very much Schwarz, this is a very scrumptious looking sausage.
Schwarz laughs.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, and what a nice alarm clock, thank you Domon.
Domon pukes.
Ms. Allenby: And here's another present, from Rain.
Ms. Allenby opens the gift.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, why, it's a dead animal. Thank you Rain.
Rain glares back evilly.
Domon: See, she liked my present the best.
Argo: Where's your present Chibodee?
Chibodee has some chocolate smeared on his face.
Chibodee: Oh, well, I got Ms. Allenby a chocolate pie, but, I uh, left it at home.
Ms. Allenby: Ok kids, we're going to take a spelling test now.
[Gasp]
Ms. Allenby: But as an extra incentive, I'm going to take whoever gets the highest score on the quiz out to dinner.
Chibodee: Ah man, I wish I knew how to spell.
Ms. Allenby: Are there any questions before we begin?
Rain raises her hand.
Ms. Allenby: Yes Rain?
Chibodee is chowing down on some pie.
Rain: When someone gets as old as you, do they have to wear Depends Undergarments?
Ms. Allenby stares back blankly.
[Silence]
[Cafeteria]
Argo: I aced that test. I'm gonna win that dinner with Ms. Allenby.
Domon: No you're not, I don't think I missed any.
Rain: Hi Domon.
Domon: I bet I scored a hundred.
Rain: HI DOMON!!!!
Domon: Oh, hi Rain.
Rain: I was just in the bathroom, and Ms. Allenby was in there taking the biggest dump I've ever seen.
Argo: No she wasn't.
Rain: YES SHE WAS!
Domon: That's impossible.
Rain: Well, she did. And she has horrible, horrible gas, too! She says she can't control it!
Chibodee: Nuh uh.
Rain: It smelled like a dead calf rotting in the hot sun.
Argo: Oh, cool.
Chibodee: Alright, Rain, seriously, you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing.
Argo: Yeh, you're acting like a freak Rain.
Rain: NO I'M NOT ACTING LIKE A FREAK[echoes]!!!!
[Silence]
Chibodee:Damn man, somebody's got to pull that monkey out of Rain's ass.
Sai: Hello there children.
Chibodee: Oh, hey Sai.
Argo: How did your date with Ms. Allenby go?
Sai: Not too good.
Domon: What happened? Didn't you make sweet love to her?
Sai: No, no, no, she's not like that. You see. Uh, how do I put this? Children, Ms. Allenby doesn't exactly play for the right team.
[Silence]
Sai: In, in, in other words, children, she's not a member of the heterosexual persuasion.
[Silence]
Sai: Don't you understand? She's a lesbian.
Domon: A what-bian?
Argo: A plebian?
Sai: You boys don't know what a lesbian is?
Domon: Schwarz?
Schwarz shrugs.
Domon: No, explain it to us Sai.
Sai: That, that's ok. Uh, ba, look, all you need to know is: Ms. Allenby's a lesbian, and that means she only likes other lesbians.
Domon: Oh.
Sai: Now move along children, you're holding up the line.
Argo: Weak dude, she only likes other lesbians.
Domon: Hey man, if she only likes other lesbians, then all we gotta do is become lesbians too.
Argo: Hey, yeh.
Chibodee: You guys, you know what? My grandma was Dutch-Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian, that makes me quarter-lesbian.
Domon: You're just saying that Chibodee.
Argo: Yeh, you're not a lesbian fatass.
Chibodee: I am too.
[Raizo's Rhinoplasty]
Raizo: Ok, only a few more bandages to go.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Well?
Raizo: Take a look for yourself.
Mr. Yun-Fat checks himself in the mirror.
He looks a lot like George DeSand.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow, that's a pretty good nose job! What do you think Hat-sensei?
Hat-sensei: I think it looks great.
Raizo: Yes, I think once the swelling goes down, you'll really notice a difference.
[Chibodee's House]
Chibodee is on the floor, licking the rug.
Domon: What the hell are you doing Chibodee?
Chibodee: My mom said if you want to become a lesbian, you have to lick carpet.
Domon: Really?
Domon: Well, I got a Indiglo Girls CD, the guy at the record store said it was perfect.
Domon puts the CD on.
Argo: And I got these killer Birkenstocks.
Argo is putting on the Birks.
They all start licking the carpet.
Chibodee: This is a bunch of crap! I've been licking this carpet for three hours, and I still don't feel like a lesbian.
[Street in Neo-Hong Kong]
Hong Kong Sightseeing is playing.
Mr. Yun-Fat is grooving down the street.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Hi Miss Maria Louise.
Maria: Ohh, howdy Mr. Yun-Fat. Say honey, you look kind of different.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Really?
Maria: Did you get a haircut?
Mr. Yun-Fat: No, but thanks for asking.
Mr. Yun-Fat starts walking away.
Maria: [After Mr. Yun-Fat]Call me, I'm in the book!
Mr. Yun-Fat: Wow Hat-sensei, having a nose job is even better than I thought. There's a whole world of opportunity opening up in front of us.
[Rain's House]
Rain: Thanks for coming over Bunny.
Bunny: That's ok Rain. I brought my makeup kit like you asked me. What are we doing anyway?
Rain: That mean old substitute isn't going to stop until she takes everything from me Bunny.
Bunny: Really?
Rain: Yeh, what I'd really like to do is load her into a rocket and have her shot into the center of the sun. But instead, I'll just get Domon to notice me again. Bunny, I need a makeover!
Bunny: Oh, cool!
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Domon: I can't wait for Ms. Allenby to see what a raging lesbian I am.
Chibodee: I'm a bigger lesbian than you.
Domon: No, you're a fatter lesbian than me.
Argo: Screw you guys, I'm king lesbian.
Chico: Whoa, is that Rain Mikamura?
Sleazy music starts playing.
Rain has a lot of makeup on.
Rain walks into the classroom, cigarette in mouth.
Rain: Hi guys, what's up?
Chibodee: Wow, Rain looks just like that chick from Mobile Suit Gundam, Garma Zabi.
Domon: Wow, hi Rain.
Rain: Oh, hi Domon. [To Bunny]I think it worked Bunny.
Bunny: Yeh.
Sleazier music starts playing.
Ms. Allenby: Good morning children.
Argo, Domon: Wow!
Chibodee: Dang, duh, dang!
Argo: Yeh.
Ms. Allenby: Oh Rain, you wore black leather too. We're like sisters.
Rain: Die!!!
Ms. Allenby: Alright kids, I finished grading your papers and the person with the highest score is....
Mr. Yun-Fat walks into the classroom.
Mr. Yun-Fat:Hello there children.
Hong Kong Sightseeing starts playing.
Domon: Oh no, Mr. Yun-Fat's back.
Chibodee: Ah, weak dude.
Carnival music starts playing.
Rain: [Singing]Hooray, hooray, hooray for Mr. Yun-Fat! He's back, he's back, Mr. Yun-Fat is back!
Rain begins waving.
Rain: So long substitute, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out now.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Children, I have a very important announcement to make.
Carnival music comes to a halt.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I'm quitting my job as a teacher.
[Gasp]
Rain: What?
Mr. Yun-Fat: It's strange, but suddenly I feel really confident about myself. And I've decided to quit teaching and do what I've always dreamed of doing, hang out and screw hot chicks.
Rain: You-you can't.
Mr. Yun-Fat: But the good news is, I've already talked to Principal Karato about it, and Ms. Allenby can stay on as your permanent teacher.
[Cheering]
Ms. Allenby: Really?
Principal Karato: That's right. Will you stay?
Ms. Allenby: Well...sure.
Rain: Noooooooo!!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!
Ms. Allenby: Oh, by the way kids, the person who scored highest on the quiz and gets to have dinner on me, is, Domon.
Domon pukes.
Domon: Kick ass!
Rain: Noooooooo!!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!
Principal Karato: Oh, and Rain, I almost forgot, we just got a call in the office. Your grandma just died.
Rain: AHHHHHHHHH!
Principal Karato: Ooh, my, what an exciting day.
[Commercial]
[Photo Dojo]
Hong Kong Sightseeing is playing.
Mr. Yun-Fat is modelling.
Photographer: Great baby, you're looking great.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I'm a lady killer, Hat-sensei!
Hat-sensei: You can say that again Mr. Yun-Fat!
Photographer: Ok, just a few hundred more shots and we'll be done.
Mr. Yun-Fat: A few hundred?
Photographer: Hey, that's the life of a model, baby.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh boy, I'm gonna need some more smack.
Photographer: You got it!
[King Jin's Buffet]
Ms. Allenby: I'm very glad we could have dinner together Domon. I want you to know that I really care about your education.
Domon: Are we making love now?
Ms. Allenby: Excuse me?
Domon: They don't have a fireplace here, we shouldn't be making love yet.
Ms. Allenby: What are you talking about?
Domon: You have to make love down by the fire, that's what Sai always says.
Ms. Allenby: Domon, I'm your teacher ok, we're only friends.
Domon: But why?
Ms. Allenby: Well, first of all, you're eight.
Domon: It's because I'm not a lesbian, isn't it?
Ms. Allenby: Oh boy.
[Outside King Jin's]
Rain: It's over. I give up.
[Street in Neo-Hong Kong]
Mr. Yun-Fat is leaning upon a mailbox.
Mr. Yun-Fat:Boy, I'll tell you something Hat-sensei, being a hot and sexy bish is fun for a while, but it sure does get boring.
Hat-sensei:You can say that again Mr. Yun-Fat.
A crowd of screaming fangirls come charging towards Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: What the?
The women begin tearing at Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Whoa, hey, wait, wait, ahhh! Hat-sensei, save yourself!
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Argo: So how'd your date with Ms. Allenby go?
Chibodee: Did you make love?
Domon: I think so.
Chibodee: No way!
Domon: Yup.
Argo: Down by the fire?
Domon: Yup.
Schwarz: And did you stick it in where....
Domon: Did I what?!?
Ms. Allenby: Good morning children.
Rain: Ms. Allenby, can I talk to you?
Ms. Allenby: Sure, but can it wait til after class Rain?
Rain: No. I just have to apologize for the way I've been acting.
Ms. Allenby: Oh, that's ok Rain.
Rain: No, it's not. Since you're here to stay, I just hope we can be friends.
Ms. Allenby: Well, I would love that Rain.
Rain: And, mmm, I want to apologize to everybody. The way I acted was wrong.
Rain begins to break up.
Rain: And I've learned from it. I just wish Domon, and Ms. Allenby would have all the happiness in the world.
Ms. Allenby: Rain, there's nothing between me and Domon!
Chibodee: That's not what we just heard.
[Street in Neo-Hong Kong]
Screaming women continue to chase after Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Oh, Hat-sensei, I hate this. I wish I'd never had a nose job.
The women round the corner after Mr. Yun-Fat.
Mr. Yun-Fat: Damn this beautiful face of mine, damn it to hell. We have to get the surgery again Hat-sensei.
Mr. Yun-Fat slips into Raizo's Rhinoplasty.
Mr. Yun-Fat: I want to be the old me again.
Screaming women run by.
[Ms. Allenby's Classroom]
Ms. Allenby: Ok children, let's catch up on our cursive handwriting.
A group of Neo-Turkish soldiers burst into the classroom.
Seitt: Down, down, everybody down!
Chibodee: What the hell!
All the kids dive under their desks.
Seitt: So, we meet again Ms. Allenby.
Principal Karato: And just what is going on here mister.
Seitt: I am Seitt Gyuzelle, of the mighty nation of Neo-Turkey. This woman is a traitor to our government.
Ms. Allenby: It's a lie.
Seitt: She has killed thousands, and will kill again I assure you.
Principal Karato: Ms. Allenby, is this true?
Ms. Allenby: No!
Seitt: We must take her back to Neo-Turkey immediately!
Rain: Oh, cool!
Ms. Allenby: Principal Karato, please.
Seitt: Here is a black and white photo of Ms. Allenby with our leader, her real name is Makesh Alak Makarakesh.
Principal Karato: Well Ms. Makarakesh, you certainly tried to put one over on us. Take her away!
Ms. Allenby: Nooooo! Get away from me! Ahhh!!
Ms. Allenby takes a scimitar from one of the soldiers.
She swings it about.
The scimitar flies from her hand straight towards Schwarz.
The scimitar skewers Schwarz in the head, continueing on with Schwarz into the back wall.
Domon: Oh my god, she killed Schwarz!
Argo: You bastard!
The soldiers take Ms. Allenby away.
Ms. Allenby: Noooo!!!
Rain: Wow, what incredible irony.
[Neo-Hong Kong Elementary]
Domon: Wow, I can't believe Ms. Allenby was a criminal Neo-Turkish fugitive.
Rain: Yeh, you just never know.
Domon: Well, I guess I'm sorry that I was ignoring you and stuff.
Rain: Happy Valentine's Day, Domon.
The two move to kiss.
Domon pukes.
Domon:Sorry.
Rain: No, it's ok Domon, everything's going to be ok!
Argo: Chibodee, are you still trying to become a lesbian?
Chibodee: Yeh dude, my mom says all I have to do is chow on this box.
[Commercial]
[Neo-Turkey]
Seitt: For crimes against this country, you're hereby sentenced to be shot into the center of the sun.
Ms. Allenby: Uhh, this is all a mistake. This can't be happening!
Some soldiers throw Ms. Allenby into a rocket.
Ms. Allenby: Please!!! For the love of God!!!
Seitt: Shut up!!!
The rocket is fired towards the sun.
[Rain's Backyard]
Rain and Bunny are kicking back, wearing shades.
Maria: Woohoo!! Great party Rain.
Rain: Thanks Maria Louise. Thanks for helping me get Mr. Yun-Fat to come back as a teacher.
Maria: Anything for you, sugar-pie.
Rain: Oh, hi Argo.
Argo: I've been thinking Rain, this whole outcome is pretty strange.
Some suits walk up to Rain.
Rain:Uh huh, excuse me.
Rain: Kah farakh kah lakhenblakh.
Turk: Kah farekh keh lakhenblakh.
Rain: Lassen blakh ehlakhi yayalakhenblakh.
Turk: Kahleshi lah lakhenblakhersh.
Rain: Lakhenblakh.
Turk: Ahh, lakheblakhelah.
Argo: How was it that Ms. Allenby was suddenly arrested for being a Neo-Turkish....
Rain: Wait, wait, shh. It's time to whip out the eclipse shoebox thing.
Rain looks through the box and watches as the rocket hits the center of the sun.
Rain: Bye-bye Ms. Allenby.
Argo: (shocked) Rain, you didn't?
Rain: I told her.
[Psycho music]
Rain: Don't-fuck-with-Rain-Mikamura.
[fin]
