Chapter Five: The Horse Cart
They were doomed from the start. Rosie didn't have the slightest idea as to how to drive a horse cart. She had lied so that they could have a faster trip to Bag End.
"What do I do Diamond?" Rosie asked anxiously.
"Well you could start by shaking the reins and saying go. I've seen my father drive our horse carts loads of times." Diamond suggested. She then added, "Why didn't you tell me that you couldn't drive a horse cart before?"
"All right then. Go!" Rosie shouted proudly. But as soon as she did that the pony took off at breakneck speed. The two girls were bouncing up the road as the pony dashed and tugged their cart forward with a jerk. They jerked to the left and to the right, hoping and praying that people were not in the road. The road was also muddy since two nights before, it had rained. They splashed mud everywhere they went. There were chickens in their path but that didn't register in Rosie's mind. Her thoughts were more preoccupied with the thought of getting to Bag End and saving Diamond's reputation.
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!! ROSIE ARE YOU INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO KILL US?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Diamond shouted in confused fury. And she added, " I thought you said you knew how to drive a horse cart?!"
"I said I did but that doesn't mean I can," then Rosie paused, "Oh, No!"
Suddenly Diamond realized why Rosie said that. They had entered Hobbiton but they were going in the opposite direction of everyone else. They kept going and finally learned how to steer…somewhat. They dodged venders and marketers only with Diamond's help since Rosie wasn't doing anything but screaming. They were able to dodge the people who didn't listen to Diamond's shouts.
"Rosie watch out! I'm so sorry Master Proudnick! Rosie go left! No, your other left! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Diamond screamed in an effort to make up for her directionally challenged friend.
"Is this the way you steer it, Diamond? Or is it this way?" a confused Rosie said anxiously.
They were already almost to Frodo's house but were almost running people over in the process. Everywhere they seemed to turn there was a new 'object' to run into or destroy. Diamond had to shout at the innocent civilians to make them move out of harm's way. They were splattering everyone with either mud, dust, or chicken feathers. Some of the mud covered civilians happened to be Pippin and Merry.
"Diamond we're almost there! Just another mile and we'll be there! Aren't you glad we took the horse cart?" Rosie said proudly.
Diamond wasn't exactly sure on that matter because she was too busy shouting at the citizens of Hobbiton. She was, frankly, very upset with Rosie because even if they did get to Bag End on time, they still stood the chance of being arrested.
But when they finally got to Bag End there was only one problem. The pony wouldn't stop. It was heading straight for Bag End!!!!!!!!!
"AAAAAAAGH! DIAMOND WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!!!!!!" Rosie screamed in fear.
Diamond grabbed hold of the reins fiercely and tugged them with a jerk to the left. The pony was still running but at least Bag End was safe. Or not. Farmer Proudfoot's Barn wasn't safe that's for sure. The pony was running at breakneck speed. It crashed through the doors of the barn and only stopped after it had run into the milk cow named Flossie and the barn wall. The girls stopped with a sharp halt and flipped over the board dividing them form the pony.
"Well, that wasn't so bad!" Rosie said excitedly, "At least we aren't dead."
Diamond was going to agree with Rosie until she heard something. It was dozens of angry shouts. All of these shouts she recognized. They were the voices of the very old and much respected women of the Shire that were always in charge of town meetings. And Diamond knew that they were not coming to speak to them about their invitation to an upcoming party.
"What were you thinking girls?!"
"You almost destroyed a Shire landmark!"
"Rosie Cotton, I had expected better from you!"
"We shall speak to the mayor about this!"
"You shall receive some harsh punishment for this!"
"Is that Farmer Proudfoot's milk cow?"
"What are you doing in my barn?!" Farmer Proudfoot exclaimed.
"Sir, we were just 'discussing' what to do with these young troublemaking ladies. Perhaps you would like to discuss what their punishment shall be. We were hoping to discuss it with the mayor," the leader of these old crones said.
"Why I'd be delighted. If they could work out in the fields—" Farmer Proudfoot then saw the condition of Diamond's leg and silenced himself.
"Yes, it would have to accommodate Miss Long Cleeve's current disability, but I'm sure we could think of something," The leader of the crones said with a sly grin.
The women and Farmer Proudfoot then extracted the girls from the heap of straw and ushered them out the door. But what Diamond saw made her wish that she had never made that quilt.
A mud splattered Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrine Took were greeting Frodo Baggins and entering his house. And Diamond knew they weren't just going to have a cup of tea.
