A/N: This chpt. is for Star and Crystal…and the rest of SenRu fans.

Oh, well…here's chpt. 5…what can I say? This fic is getting worse with each chpt. Anyway, this chpt. is self-edited…so there are lots of grammar and spell mistakes, lots of unnecessary babbling, OOCness and lots of torturing…heheheheheheheeeee

By the way, Lots have said to me not to torture Kaede and Akira anymore…I dunno if I had mentioned this before guys, but, the torture and the FUN have just began…*Grins* *bursts into an evil laughter* WWWHHHAAAHHAAHHHAHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAA *CONTINUES HER EVIL LAUGHTER*

First Night

Chapter Five: Pure Torment

Two weeks later…

"STUPID HORSE…STUPID HORSE *SLASH* *SLASH* SLASH*"

"SAKURAGI…YOU'LL KILL THE POOR HORSE"

"LET ME GO, YUJI…LET ME KILL THAT DAMN HORSE"

"What's going on, guys?" Youhei exclaimed terrified "why you're shouting that way Sakuragi?"

"Sakuragi has fallen off the horse," Sauichiro said as he held Sakuragi back.

"THAT STUPID HORSE THREW ME OFF HIS BACK" Sakuragi's face was red with fur.

"Your mind was in another world, Sakuragi" Yuji exclaimed, "It isn't the horse's fault that you weren't concentrating on the way"

Sakuragi glared at his friend angrily. His fist was grabbing his quirt tightly. He raised his hand and slapped the ground hardly. Then he left his friends and went inside the castle.

The four friends sighed in relief.

"God, for a minute…I thought Sakuragi was going to lash your face, Yuji" Sauichiro said.

"I was afraid he was going to do it too, Sauichiro" Yuji said, "Sakuragi's temper is getting shorter each day"

"He had changed a lot since that day, don't you agree guys?" Anozumi said.

"Yup…that's right" Yuji and Sauichiro nodded.

"Which day you're talking about?" Youhei asked.

"That day…two weeks ago. After he took that boy from Shohoku village. I've noticed his ill mood the next day" Anozumi replied.

"Yeah, he even stayed at his room that day…he didn't get out the whole day" Yuji agreed with his friends.

"You told me so…" Youhei mused, "He has changed since then…I think I should have a heart-to-heart talk with Sakuragi later" with that Youhei left the three shocked friends.

"What did Youhei say?" Sauichiro asked dumbly.

"A heart-to-heart talk" Yuji said.

"With Sakuragi" Anozumi continued.

"NAAAHHHHH" The three boys shrugged.

***

The whole house was deadly silent when Sendoh entered. The living room was dimly lit with faded candles. Sendoh threw his huge axe and small basket at one corner of the room as he made his way to the fireplace.

He sank into chair near the fireplace and allowed a tired sigh to escape. He has been working since dawn non-stop in his croft. he felt that his energy was drained completely from his body. Throwing his head backwards, Sendoh was about to doze off when a soft voice called from behind.

"Sendoh…you're back"

Sendoh looked at the voice's owner and smiled tiredly. "Yes, Kogure…I've just came in"

"You look so tired" Kogure pulled a nearby chair and sat next to Sendoh "what don't you go and have some rest in your room? I've already finished checking on Rukawa"

"Have some rest?" Sendoh almost snorted "how can I have some rest and my heart is still bleeding Kogure? Tell me how?"

Kogure placed his hand on Sendoh's shoulder, comforting. "Every wound is ought to heal one day, Sendoh. It's only a matter of time…say aren't you going to ask me about Rukawa?"

"Kaede?" Sendoh whispered, "How is he?"

"His wounds haven't healed yet, I think they'll need some time before they heal completely" Kogure said

"I see" Sendoh barely whispered.

Kogure frowned a little at Sendoh's indifferent reaction. "Aren't you going to check on him?" he asked.

"I wish I could, Kogure" Sendoh closed his eyes, throwing his head backwards "I wish I could"

"Of course you could" Kogure raised an eyebrow "all you have to do is to get up, go to your room and give him a loving night kiss"

Sendoh smiled sadly at his friend, shaking his head "it isn't that simple Kogure…it isn't that simple"

"Sendoh…what's wrong between you two? Have you stopped loving Rukawa after what had happened?" Kogure asked warily.

"No, Kogure" Sendoh exclaimed, "My love to Kaede hadn't changed…but…" Sendoh looked away, hiding a tear had made its way down his cheek.

"But what, Sendoh?" Kogure place his hand on Sendoh's shoulder, sensing the pain in his voice "tell me, Sendoh. I'm your friend…I may help"

"Ever since he had returned from that lord's castle…and Kaede is not the Kaede I've fallen in love with. He…he had changed, Kogure. Every time he sees me, he starts to cry and says to Ayako to send me out…I…I…I don't get to see him unless he was asleep *snorts* which is very rare since he spends all nights and days either crying or lost in another world…I'm so tired, Kogure…each one of us is far away from the other…we sleep in separate rooms…we don't see each other…we're living like strangers"

Kogure looked at his friend with pity. It was unfair for him. He doesn't deserve all this.

"You must be patient, Sendoh. I knew much you've meant to Rukawa…he had loved you so much and what happened had broken the perfect image of world in his eyes…you should know better than anyone that he had spent his whole life under Ayako and Miyagi's protection. And they hadn't let anything to harm him"

"And I was the one who failed in doing so, right?" Sendoh felt his tears falling, uncontrolled.

"No, Sendoh…I didn't mean that. It just that Rukawa finally saw the true world…all he needs is time and love to reign his self-balance" Kogure paused before he continued, "be patient Sendoh, and give Rukawa all the love he needs"

"How and he is refusing it every time I offer it?"

"Sendoh…you mustn't lose hope…Rukawa is shocked…he doesn't know who and how to trust…He doesn't let me change his bandages…Ayako is doing it instead of me…… Sendoh, don't abandon him when he needed you most" Sendoh listened silently to Kogure's words as the latter continued "anyway, I've given Ayako a drug for Rukawa. It will make him sleep at night without any nightmares hopefully. Gotta go now, bye" with that Kogure squeezed Sendoh's shoulder softly and then left.

Sendoh stayed in his place, lost in a deep thoughts.

//may be Kogure is right…I should give it a try…after all I haven't seen Kaede since when? Five days? Yup, I'll go and check on him//

Sendoh stood and walked to the main room, which for the past two weeks has became Rukawa's bedroom.

Sendoh was about to knock on the door when he heard Ayako's voice.

"Kaede…please. You haven't eaten for three days now." Ayako pealed "if you really love me…jut eat this bite…please"

"I don't to eat" Rukawa sobbed "I don't want to do anything *sob* leave me alone"

Ayako sighed deeply "Kaede…you'll kill yourself that way…how can your body heal your wounds, if you didn't eat? Oh please Kaede…please…eat"

"I wish I die, Ayako" Rukawa sobbed harder "I wish I die so I can escape from all this torment…from this selfish cruel world" with that Rukawa burst into bitter crying.

Sendoh couldn't take it any more…his hands clutched into tight fists and his heart ached him painfully.

He turned around and walked outside the house, slamming the door behind him.

***

A soft knock was heard from behind the door of Sakuragi's chamber.

"Come in" Sakuragi was lying back on his bed.

"Have you cooled down?" Youhei popped his head inside the room, asking his friend.

Sakuragi nodded, gesturing to Youhei to enter and sit down.

"I want to ask you something, if you don't mind" Youhei said as he sat near his friend.

"Sure, go ahead" Sakuragi replied with low calm voice.

"What happened back there…it wasn't about the horse…was it?" Youhei looked straightly into Sakuragi's eyes "you were angry at something else"

"No…it was about that stupid horse" Sakuragi looked away, not meeting Youhei's eyes "I…I…I…"

"You weren't angry about the horse, Hanamichi" Youhei cut off seriously "tell me what's bothering you? The guys said that you've been acting strangely for two weeks now"

"The guys? What do they know? They…" Sakuragi took a deep breath…it was useless to lie on Youhei…if anyone could know when he was lying, it would be Youhei "I don't why I'm losing my temper so easily these days" he got off the bed and went towards the window "I feel as if something is missing from my soul… what is it? I have no idea but feeling that I've lost that thing is making me sad…so sad *sigh* I feel so lost…*snort* I'm also feeling guilty…why? I still have no idea"

Youhei watched his friend with pity eyes…his mind has already formed a clear idea of what's wrong with his best friend. Yes, he knows because he had felt that way too long time ago.

"Can't you just ignore that feeling and continue with your life Hanamichi?" he said hopefully.

"No" Sakuragi shook his head "it's too strong to be ignored, Mito" he looked at his friend desperately "I don't know how to get rid of it, Mito…I…I just can't"

Youhei took a deep breath…how could he explain it to his friend?

How could he tell his friend the painful truth?

How?

How?

"Hanamichi" Youhei said quietly "you better forget that feeling and move on with your life" with that he got up and returned to leave the room.

"Forget it?" Sakuragi grabbed Youhei's arm and turned him around "I even don't know what is it…how can I forget it?"

"You must, Hanamichi…for your own sake, you must forget it"

"What is it, Mito? What should I forget?"

Youhei smiled sadly at Sakuragi "the most bittersweet curse, a man could be cursed with"

With that Youhei left the room, leaving a confused Sakuragi behind.

"A bittersweet? Curse?"

T.B.C.

A/N: so guys…what do u think? Poor Sen…he had to suffer for himself and for Ru…God, I'm so evil…hehehehehe…anyway, don't blame me, that what happens when u spend ur time chatting  with Star…*winks* She's the best in torturing these two…along with Crystal too. Boy, they just love torturing Akira and Kaede…, which make their fics always special.

OK, I have babbled enough…Hope u liked this chpt…

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year…