"Dawson happened to us," she said quietly. "He always happened to us. You let him get the better of you and then I never had a chance to explain."
He frowned, "Listen I know I wasn't very approachable but can you at least admit that I was entitled to be upset? I mean you didn't tell Dawson, of all people, that we're in a serious relationship."
"I understand why it upset you but you wouldn't let me explain. You were being completely unreasonable."
"I was being unreasonable?!" he cried. "I'm not going to roll over and play dead when the woman I'm in love with neglects to tell our oldest friend that we're together and having sex on a regular basis."
It's not that regular anymore. "Listen I should have told him about us. I know that I fucked up, I never denied that. The thing is arguing about it isn't going to change what I did, or how it made you feel. We just have to get past it somehow."
"Forgive and forget?" Pacey tilted his head to the side, "Not everything is as simple as that."
"Then what do you suggest?"
"I can't jump right back in to it and pretend none of this never happened."
She shook her head, "I'm not asking you to do that. Obviously this has had an effect on both of us and we can't just deny it. But is what I did so terrible? Is it completely unforgivable?"
"Are we ever going to see eye to eye on this?" Pacey asked as he put his head in his hands.
"I'm running out of ways to apologize. I know I screwed up Pacey and I've dealt with it." She added rather sheepishly, "I just want to be with you again."
He looked up at her, "I'm not ready yet." They looked at each other for a minute. "I think I should go. Thanks for the food. I'll get a hold of you later."
Joey watched as he let himself out. She stared at her messy room and debated on whether to clean it or not, seeing as she had nothing better to do. But instead she checked her voicemail.
"Listen here Josephine Potter just because you're not living with me this year you can't pretend you don't know me. Drag that skinny ass of yours out of bed and come do something fun for a change. Call me woman! Just in case you forgot the sound of my voice, this is Audrey speaking. If I don't hear from you soon I'm calling the police got it?"
Joey managed a small laugh at Audrey's melodramatic message and called her back right away.
~
"So what's new?" Joey asked. She and Audrey had agreed to meet at a small coffeehouse near the campus the next day after classes.
Audrey took a sip from her hot chocolate covered in lots of whipped cream, "Oh no. You're not going to act all casual with me like that. We're not here to discuss me. I'm perfectly willing to tell you all about my latest date and how I'm seriously considering lesbianism. But not until you tell me what the hell is going on with you and where the hell you've been." She looked at Joey expectantly, "I'm waiting."
"Well tell me when we talked last and I'll bring you up to speed."
"It was far too long ago. I mean I'm seriously reconsidering your best friend status." Joey gave Audrey one of her looks. "Okay, we talked right before you left for the⦠for Capeside."
Joey smiled, "You can say 'funeral' you know. It won't get me upset."
"Would you stop stalling?" Audrey cried, she was growing impatient.
"Fine. It was really awkward being there. I mean Pacey and I weren't exactly comfortable being around each other. He sat with me for the service and it was really nice. He was there for me and it was great." Joey got serious, "We went to Dawson's house after for the reception and he told us to leave."
Audrey choked on her drink, "Dawson kicked you out of his dad's wake. What did you guys do?"
"What were we supposed to do? We left. We went to get something to eat and I had to tell Pacey why Dawson basically despises me now, which was really hard. And we talked and stuff. Then he took me back to the B and B."
"So you guys are together again then?"
Joey shook her head, "I told him, how I chose him over Dawson. But it didn't matter. We got in a fight on the way home."
"You what?"
"Well I was confused because when we were in Capeside it was almost like we were together again. But I realized we hadn't talked about it or anything. So I brought it up in the car and it just blew up in my face."
"Oh Joey."
"When we got back I was so mad. But he showed up at my room and we talked again, calmly this time. I told him how sorry I was and all that, and he just said, 'I'm not ready yet,' and he left." Joey scowled, "He left. How can we resolve this if he won't stay around me long enough to have a decent conversation."
"Well he is the victim here Joey."
"The victim?"
Audrey raised her eyebrows, "Yes, the victim. Earth to Joey? You might not have slept with Dawson or anything but Pacey feels as though he's been cheated on. Put yourself in his shoes. The girl he's madly in love with spent a whole summer hanging out with this guy who was supposedly her soul mate and you never told him about you and Pacey. Regardless of the fact that you didn't think it mattered, Pacey's hurt. It wasn't your intention to hurt him, nevertheless that was the result of your actions."
"I'm canceling your Cosmo subscription," Joey told her.
"Don't you dare!" Audrey smiled, "I came to this conclusion on my own. You've gotten over everything that happened, but it effected you way less. Don't look at me like that. I know you were miserable. But Pacey's the one that feels betrayed. He's not going to heal as fast as you do. If you love Pacey then you're going to have to wait until he's ready to forgive you."
Joey sat back and crossed her arms in defeat. "I don't want to wait anymore," she said sounding more like her young nephew than herself.
"Oh grow up. You hate that I'm right," Audrey said knowingly.
"Shut up," Joey through a sugar packet at her friend.
"Hey! That's a nasty paper cut waiting to happen."
If you would like to be contacted when I update any of my stories e-mail me, kr_sta@hotmail.com or go to my website, http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/trickyfic. PLEASE REVIEW.
