Part 11
Everything Falls Apart
**********************************************************
If you can be honest
I can be too
If you'll take the first step
I'll follow you through
But no one wants to bleed
No one wants to hide
No one wants to hurt
Alone inside....
*********************************************************
"Oh my God," Rory said, disbelieving. "You already know, don't you?"
A million things flew through Lorelai's mind. She'd wanted to play dumb, to pretend she didn't know. She wanted to let Rory come out and say it, so their trust would never have been broken. But she couldn't help it-she was angry. No, more like overwhelmed. But one trait that always was passed on through the Gilmore genes was the use of defensive angry tactics in overwhelming situations.
"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice harsh. "What exactly do you think I already know? The fact that you slept with Jess, the fact that you weren't planning on telling me, or the fact that you might be pregnant?"
"Oh my God," Rory muttered to herself, standing up and taking a few steps away from her mother. She knew she couldn't walk away; Lorelai would follow her. She just didn't know what to do; all she knew was that her gut instinct told her to physically distance herself from the conversation. "Oh my God," she repeated. This was a disaster.
"That's fine," Lorelai said. "Just keep saying 'Oh My God'. I don't blame you, I found myself saying it quite a few times to myself last night after you left."
"Stop," Rory snapped. She had to gather her thoughts, figure out what to say, what to do to fix it. Though she usually appreciated her mother's talent for constant banter, at this point it wasn't really helping her concentrate.
"I'm sorry, have we forgotten again which one of us is the mother and which one's the daughter?" Lorelai asked defensively, standing up. Rory couldn't even look at her; she felt ashamed of herself suddenly, for lying, for putting herself in a potentially disastrous situation. It was worse than the time she'd missed Lorelai's graduation because of Jess. That time Lorelai eventually forgave her. But then again, that time, Rory hadn't lied.
"Mom, I-I just need to think for a minute," Rory said, walking towards the kitchen, trying to get away, just for a moment. But Lorelai followed close behind.
"Why?" Lorelai asked. "Need some time to think up another lie for me?"
"Stop!!!" Rory yelled. She wasn't so much giving a command as she was pleading. She felt her chest constricting; everything had gotten out of control, all within just a few days. She just needed quiet. She needed space. Time to think. But Lorelai didn't understand that.
"No," she said. "Rory, I won't stop. Do you not get it? I'm upset with you! More upset than I've been in a REALLY long time actually-I think this even tops that time that you spilt coffee on my favorite tee shirt, if you can even imagine that." Lorelai sighed. "You put yourself in danger and you lied to me." She paused. "Do you even have anything to say for yourself?"
Rory paused for a moment, trying to choose her words carefully. "It's not like I was taking drugs or driving drunk or something. I didn't just deliberately put myself in immediate danger, mom. I mean, yeah-I slept with a boy-"
"Not just any boy, Rory," Lorelai interrupted. "Jess. You slept with JESS."
"Yeah, Jess, my boyfriend," Rory said. "What's wrong with that? I mean, we love each other. That's all that's supposed to matter, right?"
"No," Lorelai said. "Not for you. For you, it has to be more than that. It has to be better."
"Why?" Rory asked. "Why do the rules have to be different for me? Any other girl my age who was as responsible as I am, with a relationship as serious as this one would have been expected to do it months ago. But me? No, I have to be Susie Mc-Perfect-Daughter to make up for YOUR mistakes. What's fair about that?" Her voice had gotten louder. She'd never meant for it to; she'd never meant to say any of the words that were coming out of her mouth. She never wanted to hurt her mother. But now that she considered it... she wasn't saying anything that she really didn't mean. She just hadn't fully realized until that moment that she felt that way.
Lorelai cringed. "Whoa," she muttered. "Low blow."
"And it wasn't a low blow for you to say that Jess, the guy that I LOVE, isn't worthy of me?"
"That wasn't a low blow, that was just true," Lorelai replied. "Jess isn't good enough for you. ESPECIALLY not good enough to be-your FIRST-"
"What happened?" Rory asked confused. "A week ago, Jess was your hero! You and Sookie would swoon over him and every time you saw him in the diner, you'd tell him how great he was for making me happy. And now what? Just because he shattered the image of perfect little innocent Rory, he's the anti-Christ again?"
"Yeah!" Lorelai said, nodding. "That's right. A week ago, Jess was pretty much my favorite guy on the planet. You were walking on air, you were happier than ever, and it was all thanks to him. But I didn't know then that he was going to be the guy who put you in that kind of danger! I didn't know that he was going to be the guy who ruined your chance at the future I didn't get to have! I didn't-I didn't know he was gonna get you pregnant, I-" Lorelai collapsed at the kitchen table, burying her face in her hands, trying to control her sobs. Hearing herself say it aloud, it was like a knife in the heart.
Rory stayed where she was, a few feet away, stunned. She tried to hold back the tears welling in her eyes... whenever she saw her mother cry, she always felt like crying too. She hated seeing her upset. Worse than that, she hated being the reason that Lorelai cried.
"I, uh..." she started in a soft, cautious voice, "I'm not pregnant, mom," she said. Lorelai didn't respond. All Rory could see was her hunched over figure shaking with sobs. She continued. "I took a pregnancy test last night at Lane's and it turns out it was just a false alarm."
"Damnit," Rory heard her mother say through her tears. "Why didn't you say that earlier?" Lorelai didn't look up; she left her face in her hands. But she wasn't shaking as violently anymore. She was gaining control of herself.
Rory sighed. "I don't know," she said. "I meant to, I just... I guess I got a little distracted with all the yelling and everything." Lorelai still didn't look up. Rory found that it made it easier to talk without her mother looking. As long as Lorelai didn't react, Rory had the chance to get everything she had to say out. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Mom," she said. "I didn't want to lie to you, I just... I didn't know how to say it. I was just scared you'd flip out, I guess, what with it being so close to graduation and all." She paused. "But we were safe, if it's any consolation," she offered. "Extra safe. I took the health class in school, I knew how to protect myself. I just freaked out, I don't know why I even thought it was possible for me to be pregnant." There was a long pause before Lorelai lifted her head. Her eyes were puffy, but Rory could feel the intensity of the gaze she gave her. It didn't seem like anger or sadness-just genuine concern.
"Are you still mad?" Rory asked confused. Lorelai didn't answer. She just stood and pulled Rory close to her in a tight embrace. Rory hugged her back.
"Rory, don't ever have a pregnancy scare ever again until you're 40 years old and married," Lorelai said, "cuz I don't think my blood pressure could take it."
Rory smiled slightly. "Believe me, I'm not exactly anxious to relive this experience anytime soon."
After a moment, Lorelai pulled back to wipe her eyes again. "So what do you say?" she asked. "Should we order some pizza and try to talk about this rationally? With no more crazy yelling or anything?"
Rory nodded. "Yeah. We should talk. And I'm not violently opposed to the pizza idea, either."
Lorelai nodded and headed to the phone. Before she could dial, Rory interrupted.
"Do you hate Jess now?"
Lorelai sighed, turning back to her. "Honey... you gotta understand. As the mother of the teenage girl he could have impregnated, it's not only my right to hate him, it's pretty much my duty."
"It wasn't just him," Rory said in his defense. "I mean, when you say it like that, it sounds like it was all his fault." She paused. "It wasn't. I had more than just a little to do with it."
Lorelai nodded. "He didn't pressure you or anything, did he?" She asked. "Cuz if he did, you just say the word, and Mommy will buy a shot gun and kill him," she said with a sarcastically optimistic smile.
Rory shook her head. "Nope. Zero pressure." She paused. "Almost the opposite of pressure. He was the perfect gentleman about the whole thing."
Lorelai turned away quickly, busying herself with the menu. It was hard for her to picture Rory as the one initiating the whole thing. She sighed. "You want pepperoni or plain cheese?"
"Mom, can we just finish with this one subject before we order the pizza?" Rory asked.
Lorelai didn't put the phone down. She wanted desperately not to talk about Jess. "What subject? The fact that Jess didn't pressure you? Cuz I thought we had that pretty much covered."
"Not that," Rory said. "Just the subject of Jess in general."
Lorelai sighed. "Rory, hon, I don't want to argue about this," she said.
"Neither do I," Rory said. "I just want to discuss it. A discussion is very different from an argument."
"Rory, I'm not gonna change my mind about this," Lorelai said. "I don't think Jess is good for you."
"You don't think anybody's good enough for me," Rory said. "You even hated Dean at first. Most mothers would jump for joy if their daughters dated Dean."
"I know," Lorelai said. "But I think Jess is extra, super-not-good-enough for you."
"Why, because he has hormones?"
"No, because he would rather have a good time for one night than ensure your chance to go to college and get the dream job you've wanted ever since you learned how to write, and have a life. Like a real LIFE."
"Mom, I can still be with Jess, AND go to Yale, AND get the dream job, AND have a life."
"I know," Lorelai said. "Just... don't ask me to like him just yet. I'm not gonna forbid you to see him, but I don't think I could handle having to pretend that he's my new best friend."
Rory nodded. "I understand." She headed toward the living room. "Get half cheese, half pepperoni!" she called over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen. Lorelai sighed as she dialed the number for Pete's Pizza.
***************************************************
It was a long night. Lorelai and Rory stayed in the living room a long time, talking about anything they could, whether it was relevant or not. While it wasn't completely without awkward moments, both of them were just grateful to have the secret out in the open. Rory had told her mother that she wanted to go on the pill, and Lorelai had understood, and been more than happy to schedule an appointment with a doctor outside of Stars Hollow so that word wouldn't get around. In this town, even Doctor-Patient confidentiality wasn't to be trusted.
Everything was great... or at least it seemed that way. Rory was glad she had talked to her mother... but the things Lorelai had said about Jess, and his not being good for Rory... they were really getting to her. At first it seemed completely ridiculous. He was good for her. He made her happy, happier than she'd ever been with Dean. He was a completely different person now from that guy who'd come to Stars Hollow the year before, stealing Babette's gnomes and smoking and drinking and mouthing off to the people who tried their hardest to like him. He couldn't be bad for her... could he?
She'd never lied to anyone so much as she did after Jess came to town. She couldn't deny that. But it wasn't his fault, she was the one doing the lying... on his behalf. And she had never been so constantly preoccupied with Dean as she had been with Jess. Her grades weren't slipping or anything... but she'd been known to get caught daydreaming about him in class on several occasions.
'This is ridiculous,' she thought to herself as she got out her books to start her homework. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her; everything would work out fine. She loved him and he loved her. Shouldn't that be enough?
**********************************************************
"Jess," Luke greeted him as Jess walked into the apartment, car keys in hand. "Where you been?"
"Working," Jess replied, walking to his room and getting some money from the safe where he kept all his savings.
"What, are you going out again now?" Luke asked.
"I was planning on it," Jess replied.
"Well stay a while," Luke commanded. "I got dinner. You gotta eat."
"Most people do," Jess retorted.
"Just sit down," Luke said with a sigh, taking a seat himself. Jess took a deep breath, trying to hold his tongue. There had been new rules since he came back to Stars Hollow at the beginning of last summer. He knew Luke wasn't likely to just send him off to New York on the bus if he got fed up with him-Luke wasn't that irrational... most of the time. But in any case, it was always better to be safe than sorry.
He sat at the kitchen table across from Luke and started eating silently. Conversation didn't exactly come easy for the two of them.
"So..." Luke started. "How was school?"
"It was pointless," Jess answered.
"Care to elaborate?"
Jess sighed. "Two weeks before graduation, we accomplish nothing. Today in my English Lit class, we played bingo." He took a bite of his burger. "Did I paint a vivid enough picture for you?"
Luke glared a little, eating his salad. 'Crazy health food nut,' Jess thought to himself.
The phone rang to interrupt the overwhelming silence. Jess jumped up.
"That's for me," Jess said.
Luke stood, trying not to seem too eager to answer the phone. "No, Jess, I- I have a pretty good feeling that's for me."
"Rory said she'd call tonight around 8," Jess replied. "It's after 8. Do the math."
"Jess, just let me answer it!" Luke said.
"Why?" Jess asked with a smirk. "Is Lorelai supposed to call you tonight?" Luke rolled his eyes. "If it's her, I'll just hand it over," Jess said, picking up the phone with a smile.
"Rory, that better be you," he said into the phone. "Cuz I don't know if I want to be around listening to Luke talk to your mother and pretend he doesn't-"
"Jess?" an all too familiar voice asked on the other end. Jess froze. "Jess, hon, is that you?"
Jess paused, before commanding in a firm voice, "Don't ever call here again."
He slammed the phone down before she had a chance to say anything, and then left it off the hook to keep her from calling again.
Luke watched him cautiously, not sure whether or not he was about to erupt. "I tried to stop you from answering it," Luke offered.
"Why was she calling here?" Jess asked angrily. "I thought you guys got everything over and done with when you went to New York last week?"
"I thought we did too," Luke answered. "But some new stuff came up, she just started calling. I told her you probably didn't wanna talk to her, but she didn't listen, and she just kept calling-"
"What the hell 'came up'?" Jess demanded. "What 'stuff'? No wait-don't tell me. She got an AA sponsor, and she broke it off with her drug dealer, and now she's a new woman and she's gotten to that step in her 12 step program where you need to get all the people you screwed over to forgive you, right?" Luke was silent. "Well, I guess she's just out of luck, cuz there are some things a son doesn't forgive a mother for." Jess grabbed his money and car keys and headed to the door. Luke's solemn voice behind him stopped him in his tracks.
"Your Dad's back," Luke said.
Jess froze, his hand on the doorknob, trying to maintain his composure. It was a long time before he could get out the words, "He's not my Dad. He may be my father, but he was NEVER my Dad."
"That's what I told her," Luke said. "But just the same... the guy wants to see you. And he's apparently bugging the hell out of Liz to get you to come down there and see him. Otherwise, he's gonna come up here."
"No," Jess said sternly, turning back to him. "He's not coming up here. Not if I have any say over it, he's not."
"Jess," Luke began, "I know you're pretty resentful of this guy. I am too, I mean he just left my sister and my nephew without a word. Didn't exactly make a great impression on me. But what could it hurt to just... talk to the guy? Just once?"
Jess shook his head. "I'm not voluntarily going down there to see either of them, and if either one of them comes up to Stars Hollow, I'm gonna skip town." He opened the door. "End of story," he said, walking out.
Luke didn't bother to follow him. Usually it bothered him when Jess just ran off without telling him where he was going. But right now... Jess was pissed off. And Luke hardly blamed him.
***************************************************************
Jess walked straight out to the nearest pay phone by Gypsy's auto-repair shop. Angrily, he dialed Rory's cell phone number. After a few rings, Rory answered.
"Hello?"
He smiled a little. He was angry, but not at her. He didn't even wanna talk about what was going on. He just wanted to see her, and forget about this whole thing. "Hey, what are you doing?"
Recognizing his voice, she tried her hardest to act as though nothing had changed. She didn't want to tell him just yet that her mother knew, that her mother also hated him, and that Rory herself was thinking.... Well, she was just having some doubts. "I'm just studying," she said.
"Still?" he asked. "It's like 9. You're usually done hours before this."
Rory sighed. "Yeah, well something came up," she said. "Something pretty time consuming. I just got started like half an hour ago."
"So there's probably no chance you'd wanna do something tonight, huh?"
"Sorry," she replied. "I'm pretty swamped."
Jess paused. "Are you all right? You sound kinda weird."
Rory tried her hardest to sound perky... or at the very least, normal. "I'm fine. Don't worry."
Jess nodded, not sure if he really believed her or not. "Ok. We're still meeting tomorrow night, right?"
"Tomorrow night?" she asked. "Sorry, I'm blanking, what were we supposed to do tomorrow night?"
"After the grandparents dinner, we were gonna meet at that Café in Hartford, Joe's. Remember?"
"Oh yeah," Rory said. "Uh actually, would you mind if we took a rain check on tomorrow night?"
Jess sighed. "Yeah. Whatever."
"We can meet there on Saturday night instead. How's that?"
"It's fine," Jess said, halfheartedly. This relationship was like a roller coaster ride; twice a week, everything was perfect, and every other day, there was some weird unspoken problem.
Rory sighed. "Call me Saturday when you get off work?"
"Sure thing," he said. "Gotta go, see ya later." He hung up before she had a chance to say goodbye. He didn't mean to snap at her; it wasn't her fault, really. But he needed a distraction from this newly presented situation with his father, and she couldn't help. It was just frustrating. He went to his car and started the ignition. He didn't know where he was going to go; he just needed to get away for a while.
*********************************************************************
Emily Gilmore looked from her daughter to her granddaughter, and back again. Lorelai was pouring herself her third glass of wine. Rory was picking at her food, barely eating any. And neither one of them was talking. It was very unsettling, especially when Richard wasn't present to offer a distraction.
"So, Rory," she tried to start conversation. "How does it feel to know that in 5 days, you'll be a high school graduate?"
Rory smiled slightly. "It feels great."
Emily's smile faded. She had expected Rory to continue, what with her talent for writing and public speech. "That's all?" Emily asked. "Just great?"
Rory looked confused. "Well a little scary too. But it's mostly a positive feeling. The fear only makes up about two percent of my overall emotion at this point."
Emily nodded understandingly, trying to look incredibly interested so that Rory would keep talking, but Rory just kept picking at the lamb chops on her plate. She looked to Lorelai, only to find her refilling her wine glass.
"Don't you think you've had enough wine for the night, Lorelai?"
"No," Lorelai replied bluntly as she took another long sip.
Emily sighed. "Well I hope you're not planning on driving like this."
"Well see mom," Lorelai explained, putting down her glass, "This is exactly why I had Rory, so that she could drive me home when I'm too intoxicated to walk in a straight line."
Emily took a sip of her own drink. This tension was unbearable. Something was going on, she could tell. They were both unusually quiet. They were barely eating. It wasn't natural for world champion eaters like themselves who had quite a talent for babbling.
Also, Rory looked incredibly uncomfortable. It was nothing you would notice unless you knew her well... but the look in her eyes indicated that a million thoughts were running through her head, and they weren't happy thoughts either.
"Are you all right, Rory?" Emily asked. Rory looked up, faking a happy smile.
"I'm fine, Grandma," she said halfheartedly.
"Are you sure?" Emily asked. "You've barely touched your food."
"No, I'm fine, really. I'm just not too hungry, I guess." Rory paused for a moment before putting down her fork. "Excuse me a minute. I need to use the bathroom." She stood and headed out into the hallway. Emily watched her go, before turning to Lorelai.
"What's the matter with her?" she asked, confused.
"I dunno, small bladder?" Lorelai guessed.
"I don't mean her going to the bathroom," Emily said. "She's acting very strange Lorelai. As are you. Would you care to explain this all to me? Because it's all very unsettling."
Lorelai sighed. "It's nothing, mom. We just... things have been a little awkward the past couple days. Rory and I had a fight."
"A fight?"
"That's what I said, isn't it?"
"Don't be wise, Lorelai."
"I'm not being wise!" Lorelai said. "I'm just checking! With this much alcohol in my system, it's very possible that the words I thought and the ones that actually came out of my mouth were very different."
"Was it a big fight?"
"Well yeah, I guess it was. Probably among our all time top 5 biggest fights."
"Did you two make up?"
"Yes, we did." Lorelai sighed. "But just because we're not yelling at each other anymore, it doesn't mean everything's peachy keen again."
Emily thought a moment. "What did you two fight about?"
Lorelai avoided her mother's eyes. "Nothing, really."
"You had a huge fight about nothing?"
"Well obviously it was SOMETHING-just nothing of importance, that's all."
"It must be important."
"Mom, please, just stop pushing this," Lorelai said, annoyed.
"I just want to know what's going on. I have every right to know why the two of you are behaving so strangely-"
"No you don't, mom!" Lorelai snapped. "You don't have every right to know. This isn't any of your business." Lorelai took a long sip of wine and stared at the table bitterly. Emily sat in silence, unable to come up with the right words. Fortunately, Lorelai spoke before she had to.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just a little on edge tonight, I didn't mean to be so harsh."
Emily paused. "Well I suppose it's understandable to act this way when you've had as much wine as you have."
"It's Jess," Lorelai said out of the blue. Emily listened carefully. It was rare for Lorelai to open up and voluntarily tell her about the problems in her life. When she did, it was only because she had no one else to tell; but Emily was grateful for it, just the same.
"Rory's boyfriend?" Emily clarified.
Lorelai nodded. "That very one." She sighed. "I've tried really hard to like this kid, and for a while, I actually did. But I just-I don't think he's good for Rory."
"That's what you fought about?" Emily asked. "You don't think he's good for her, but she disagrees?"
"In a nutshell, yeah," Lorelai said. "That's the basic gist of it."
"Well personally, I think you're in the right here," Emily said. "Rory usually has good judgment. But not always. I don't think it's possible for a teenager to always use good judgment."
"Well that's great that you agree with me, mom," Lorelai said, "But what am I supposed to do here?"
"Forbid her to see him anymore," Emily said, as though it were the most obvious solution in the world.
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Gee thanks, Mrs. Capulet, that's fantastic advice."
"Mrs. Capulet? What do you mean?"
"No, it's just... Juliet Capulet. In Romeo and Juliet. Her parents forbid her to see him, which of course was irrational cuz then she killed herself and I was making a comment about how-never mind." Lorelai sighed. "I can't just forbid her to see him anymore, mom. I'm not that kind of mom."
"Oh and I am?" Emily asked, somewhat offended.
"Well, no offense mom, but have you ever stopped to wonder why our relationship is so much less pleasant than my relationship with Rory?"
Emily sighed. "I suppose you have a point. But if you feel that Rory isn't using good judgment, you do need to use whatever means necessary to protect her."
"I won't forbid her, mom," Lorelai said. "No matter how much I dislike him, she cares about him a lot. That wouldn't be fair to her." She started pouring herself some more wine. "But it still does sound pretty damn appealing."
Rory, standing just out of their view in the hallway, sighed silently, trying to put on her happiest, unaffected facial expression before returning to the room. She'd overheard the whole thing, but she couldn't let on that she had. She had to pretend that her decision had been solely hers, or her mother would never offer her opinion again.
************************************************************
Lorelai was bored. Incredibly bored.
She had ordered pizza, and eaten until she couldn't eat anymore. Then she'd scanned their video library for something to watch. After coming up empty handed, she'd channel surfed until her fingers got tired. She had nothing to do, and she couldn't go anywhere, because Rory had taken the car to go meet Jess somewhere.
She couldn't walk to Luke's either. She'd felt too weird ever since she found out about Rory and Jess to even be in Luke's presence, let alone converse with him. She had it on pretty good authority that he didn't know yet, and she was pretty much okay with that. Luke was sort of like a father figure to Rory... right down to the insanely overprotective part. She didn't need him to be freaking out every time Rory so much as looked at a guy.
The phone rang, and Lorelai leaped for it, immensely grateful for any distraction from the boredom.
"Hello?"
"Mom?" Rory's exasperated voice sounded distorted through her cell phone.
"Rory!" Lorelai cried, ecstatic. "Thank God you called! I need your help. I'm thinking about walking over to the video store. Now, should we have some ogre-ish fun with Shrek, or should we Thelma and Louise it again?"
"Mom...." Rory repeated, her voice shaky. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying.
"Ok, honey, if it's that hard for you to choose, I can just rent them both," Lorelai said.
"Mom, I need you to come get me."
Lorelai panicked. "What? Why? I-Where are you? You're not in the hospital again, are you?"
"No," Rory sighed. "I'm at that Café in Hartford. Joe's."
"But don't you have the car with you?"
"It won't start," Rory said. "I think our gas gage is broken. It's been saying the tank is half full for about two weeks now."
"But isn't Jess there with you? Can't he drive you?"
"He offered to, but I told him no, because it would too awkward, what with him hating my guts and all."
Lorelai paused. "Wow. That was a level of nonsense that even I have not yet experienced. Try again please?"
Rory sighed. "We just broke up."
Lorelai didn't say a word.
"Mom?" Rory asked in a meek voice. "Mom, say something."
"Wow," Lorelai said.
"Something slightly more substantial, place."
"Well I'm kinda busy imagining scenarios in which it would be justifiable for me to kill Jess, and it's exhausting, so I'm really not ready to be forming sentences just yet."
"Mom," Rory said, frustrated. She really needed some comforting words just then.
"Hold on a sec," Lorelai said.
"Mom, come on. You're really not helping here."
"I'm sorry, I don't understand," Lorelai said. "What the hell happened? Things were going great-well actually things weren't going all that well, what with the pregnancy scare and the sex, but I mean-" she stopped short.
"Mom? Mom, are you there?"
"That little tool," Lorelai said, shaking her head.
"What's wrong mom?" Rory asked, completely lost.
"I cannot believe he used you like that."
Rory sighed, knowing exactly what her mother was saying. "He did not use me for sex, mom."
"Oh so it was just a coincidence that he broke up with you two weeks after you slept with him? Yeah, very likely."
"Again, mom, you're not really helping much."
Lorelai sighed. "I'm so sorry honey."
Rory tried to blink away the tears welling in her eyes. "Thanks."
"I'm gonna go borrow Sookie's car right now and come pick you up. And we'll pick up our best friends at the market on the way home."
Rory smiled a little. "It'll be good to see Ben and Jerry again. It's been awhile."
"I love you, hon," Lorelai said.
"Love you too, Mom. Bye."
Lorelai hung up, feeling like she'd just been hit by a ton of bricks. She didn't even know what to think. How could she have let this happen? How could she have just stood by and let her daughter fend for herself while that jerk just led her on like that?
She paused, staring at the phone. She picked it up and dialed angrily, pacing the room to dispel some of her furious energy.
"Hello?"
"I'm gonna kill him Luke," she said, not even telling him who 'him' was, or that she was the one speaking. "It will probably be really painful, too. I just thought I'd let you know that."
"What? Lorelai--?"
She hung up before he had a chance to finish. Grabbing her purse, she headed over to Sookie's.
************************************************************
A/N: Ok so first thing's first. I'm sorry it took SOOOOOOOOOOO long for this update, I've been extra-super-duper busy the past couple weeks (midterm stress, a zillion papers and tests, projects, etc.) but now I've got vacation for a couple weeks, so the rest should come easy to me. Ok, secondly, I know this sucks. They broke up, everything's falling apart (hence the name of the chapter), and it just seems like everything's doomed to end up icky and sad, but I promise, IT WILL GET BETTER. So don't stop reading. I haven't let you down yet, have I? Ok so next chapter, you get to find out about the actual break up-how it happened, where, why, etc. And there will be other stuff of course. If you are violently opposed to anything that seems to be going on, please let me know in a review (just don't be too harsh, please). And of course, even if you aren't violently opposed, review anyway!!!! Hehehe reviews give me a happy. All right. More comes soon!
~Emaline
P.s. per request of..... somebody, when the story is over, I will put at the end a fully credited list of all the songs I used and their artists.
Everything Falls Apart
**********************************************************
If you can be honest
I can be too
If you'll take the first step
I'll follow you through
But no one wants to bleed
No one wants to hide
No one wants to hurt
Alone inside....
*********************************************************
"Oh my God," Rory said, disbelieving. "You already know, don't you?"
A million things flew through Lorelai's mind. She'd wanted to play dumb, to pretend she didn't know. She wanted to let Rory come out and say it, so their trust would never have been broken. But she couldn't help it-she was angry. No, more like overwhelmed. But one trait that always was passed on through the Gilmore genes was the use of defensive angry tactics in overwhelming situations.
"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice harsh. "What exactly do you think I already know? The fact that you slept with Jess, the fact that you weren't planning on telling me, or the fact that you might be pregnant?"
"Oh my God," Rory muttered to herself, standing up and taking a few steps away from her mother. She knew she couldn't walk away; Lorelai would follow her. She just didn't know what to do; all she knew was that her gut instinct told her to physically distance herself from the conversation. "Oh my God," she repeated. This was a disaster.
"That's fine," Lorelai said. "Just keep saying 'Oh My God'. I don't blame you, I found myself saying it quite a few times to myself last night after you left."
"Stop," Rory snapped. She had to gather her thoughts, figure out what to say, what to do to fix it. Though she usually appreciated her mother's talent for constant banter, at this point it wasn't really helping her concentrate.
"I'm sorry, have we forgotten again which one of us is the mother and which one's the daughter?" Lorelai asked defensively, standing up. Rory couldn't even look at her; she felt ashamed of herself suddenly, for lying, for putting herself in a potentially disastrous situation. It was worse than the time she'd missed Lorelai's graduation because of Jess. That time Lorelai eventually forgave her. But then again, that time, Rory hadn't lied.
"Mom, I-I just need to think for a minute," Rory said, walking towards the kitchen, trying to get away, just for a moment. But Lorelai followed close behind.
"Why?" Lorelai asked. "Need some time to think up another lie for me?"
"Stop!!!" Rory yelled. She wasn't so much giving a command as she was pleading. She felt her chest constricting; everything had gotten out of control, all within just a few days. She just needed quiet. She needed space. Time to think. But Lorelai didn't understand that.
"No," she said. "Rory, I won't stop. Do you not get it? I'm upset with you! More upset than I've been in a REALLY long time actually-I think this even tops that time that you spilt coffee on my favorite tee shirt, if you can even imagine that." Lorelai sighed. "You put yourself in danger and you lied to me." She paused. "Do you even have anything to say for yourself?"
Rory paused for a moment, trying to choose her words carefully. "It's not like I was taking drugs or driving drunk or something. I didn't just deliberately put myself in immediate danger, mom. I mean, yeah-I slept with a boy-"
"Not just any boy, Rory," Lorelai interrupted. "Jess. You slept with JESS."
"Yeah, Jess, my boyfriend," Rory said. "What's wrong with that? I mean, we love each other. That's all that's supposed to matter, right?"
"No," Lorelai said. "Not for you. For you, it has to be more than that. It has to be better."
"Why?" Rory asked. "Why do the rules have to be different for me? Any other girl my age who was as responsible as I am, with a relationship as serious as this one would have been expected to do it months ago. But me? No, I have to be Susie Mc-Perfect-Daughter to make up for YOUR mistakes. What's fair about that?" Her voice had gotten louder. She'd never meant for it to; she'd never meant to say any of the words that were coming out of her mouth. She never wanted to hurt her mother. But now that she considered it... she wasn't saying anything that she really didn't mean. She just hadn't fully realized until that moment that she felt that way.
Lorelai cringed. "Whoa," she muttered. "Low blow."
"And it wasn't a low blow for you to say that Jess, the guy that I LOVE, isn't worthy of me?"
"That wasn't a low blow, that was just true," Lorelai replied. "Jess isn't good enough for you. ESPECIALLY not good enough to be-your FIRST-"
"What happened?" Rory asked confused. "A week ago, Jess was your hero! You and Sookie would swoon over him and every time you saw him in the diner, you'd tell him how great he was for making me happy. And now what? Just because he shattered the image of perfect little innocent Rory, he's the anti-Christ again?"
"Yeah!" Lorelai said, nodding. "That's right. A week ago, Jess was pretty much my favorite guy on the planet. You were walking on air, you were happier than ever, and it was all thanks to him. But I didn't know then that he was going to be the guy who put you in that kind of danger! I didn't know that he was going to be the guy who ruined your chance at the future I didn't get to have! I didn't-I didn't know he was gonna get you pregnant, I-" Lorelai collapsed at the kitchen table, burying her face in her hands, trying to control her sobs. Hearing herself say it aloud, it was like a knife in the heart.
Rory stayed where she was, a few feet away, stunned. She tried to hold back the tears welling in her eyes... whenever she saw her mother cry, she always felt like crying too. She hated seeing her upset. Worse than that, she hated being the reason that Lorelai cried.
"I, uh..." she started in a soft, cautious voice, "I'm not pregnant, mom," she said. Lorelai didn't respond. All Rory could see was her hunched over figure shaking with sobs. She continued. "I took a pregnancy test last night at Lane's and it turns out it was just a false alarm."
"Damnit," Rory heard her mother say through her tears. "Why didn't you say that earlier?" Lorelai didn't look up; she left her face in her hands. But she wasn't shaking as violently anymore. She was gaining control of herself.
Rory sighed. "I don't know," she said. "I meant to, I just... I guess I got a little distracted with all the yelling and everything." Lorelai still didn't look up. Rory found that it made it easier to talk without her mother looking. As long as Lorelai didn't react, Rory had the chance to get everything she had to say out. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Mom," she said. "I didn't want to lie to you, I just... I didn't know how to say it. I was just scared you'd flip out, I guess, what with it being so close to graduation and all." She paused. "But we were safe, if it's any consolation," she offered. "Extra safe. I took the health class in school, I knew how to protect myself. I just freaked out, I don't know why I even thought it was possible for me to be pregnant." There was a long pause before Lorelai lifted her head. Her eyes were puffy, but Rory could feel the intensity of the gaze she gave her. It didn't seem like anger or sadness-just genuine concern.
"Are you still mad?" Rory asked confused. Lorelai didn't answer. She just stood and pulled Rory close to her in a tight embrace. Rory hugged her back.
"Rory, don't ever have a pregnancy scare ever again until you're 40 years old and married," Lorelai said, "cuz I don't think my blood pressure could take it."
Rory smiled slightly. "Believe me, I'm not exactly anxious to relive this experience anytime soon."
After a moment, Lorelai pulled back to wipe her eyes again. "So what do you say?" she asked. "Should we order some pizza and try to talk about this rationally? With no more crazy yelling or anything?"
Rory nodded. "Yeah. We should talk. And I'm not violently opposed to the pizza idea, either."
Lorelai nodded and headed to the phone. Before she could dial, Rory interrupted.
"Do you hate Jess now?"
Lorelai sighed, turning back to her. "Honey... you gotta understand. As the mother of the teenage girl he could have impregnated, it's not only my right to hate him, it's pretty much my duty."
"It wasn't just him," Rory said in his defense. "I mean, when you say it like that, it sounds like it was all his fault." She paused. "It wasn't. I had more than just a little to do with it."
Lorelai nodded. "He didn't pressure you or anything, did he?" She asked. "Cuz if he did, you just say the word, and Mommy will buy a shot gun and kill him," she said with a sarcastically optimistic smile.
Rory shook her head. "Nope. Zero pressure." She paused. "Almost the opposite of pressure. He was the perfect gentleman about the whole thing."
Lorelai turned away quickly, busying herself with the menu. It was hard for her to picture Rory as the one initiating the whole thing. She sighed. "You want pepperoni or plain cheese?"
"Mom, can we just finish with this one subject before we order the pizza?" Rory asked.
Lorelai didn't put the phone down. She wanted desperately not to talk about Jess. "What subject? The fact that Jess didn't pressure you? Cuz I thought we had that pretty much covered."
"Not that," Rory said. "Just the subject of Jess in general."
Lorelai sighed. "Rory, hon, I don't want to argue about this," she said.
"Neither do I," Rory said. "I just want to discuss it. A discussion is very different from an argument."
"Rory, I'm not gonna change my mind about this," Lorelai said. "I don't think Jess is good for you."
"You don't think anybody's good enough for me," Rory said. "You even hated Dean at first. Most mothers would jump for joy if their daughters dated Dean."
"I know," Lorelai said. "But I think Jess is extra, super-not-good-enough for you."
"Why, because he has hormones?"
"No, because he would rather have a good time for one night than ensure your chance to go to college and get the dream job you've wanted ever since you learned how to write, and have a life. Like a real LIFE."
"Mom, I can still be with Jess, AND go to Yale, AND get the dream job, AND have a life."
"I know," Lorelai said. "Just... don't ask me to like him just yet. I'm not gonna forbid you to see him, but I don't think I could handle having to pretend that he's my new best friend."
Rory nodded. "I understand." She headed toward the living room. "Get half cheese, half pepperoni!" she called over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen. Lorelai sighed as she dialed the number for Pete's Pizza.
***************************************************
It was a long night. Lorelai and Rory stayed in the living room a long time, talking about anything they could, whether it was relevant or not. While it wasn't completely without awkward moments, both of them were just grateful to have the secret out in the open. Rory had told her mother that she wanted to go on the pill, and Lorelai had understood, and been more than happy to schedule an appointment with a doctor outside of Stars Hollow so that word wouldn't get around. In this town, even Doctor-Patient confidentiality wasn't to be trusted.
Everything was great... or at least it seemed that way. Rory was glad she had talked to her mother... but the things Lorelai had said about Jess, and his not being good for Rory... they were really getting to her. At first it seemed completely ridiculous. He was good for her. He made her happy, happier than she'd ever been with Dean. He was a completely different person now from that guy who'd come to Stars Hollow the year before, stealing Babette's gnomes and smoking and drinking and mouthing off to the people who tried their hardest to like him. He couldn't be bad for her... could he?
She'd never lied to anyone so much as she did after Jess came to town. She couldn't deny that. But it wasn't his fault, she was the one doing the lying... on his behalf. And she had never been so constantly preoccupied with Dean as she had been with Jess. Her grades weren't slipping or anything... but she'd been known to get caught daydreaming about him in class on several occasions.
'This is ridiculous,' she thought to herself as she got out her books to start her homework. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her; everything would work out fine. She loved him and he loved her. Shouldn't that be enough?
**********************************************************
"Jess," Luke greeted him as Jess walked into the apartment, car keys in hand. "Where you been?"
"Working," Jess replied, walking to his room and getting some money from the safe where he kept all his savings.
"What, are you going out again now?" Luke asked.
"I was planning on it," Jess replied.
"Well stay a while," Luke commanded. "I got dinner. You gotta eat."
"Most people do," Jess retorted.
"Just sit down," Luke said with a sigh, taking a seat himself. Jess took a deep breath, trying to hold his tongue. There had been new rules since he came back to Stars Hollow at the beginning of last summer. He knew Luke wasn't likely to just send him off to New York on the bus if he got fed up with him-Luke wasn't that irrational... most of the time. But in any case, it was always better to be safe than sorry.
He sat at the kitchen table across from Luke and started eating silently. Conversation didn't exactly come easy for the two of them.
"So..." Luke started. "How was school?"
"It was pointless," Jess answered.
"Care to elaborate?"
Jess sighed. "Two weeks before graduation, we accomplish nothing. Today in my English Lit class, we played bingo." He took a bite of his burger. "Did I paint a vivid enough picture for you?"
Luke glared a little, eating his salad. 'Crazy health food nut,' Jess thought to himself.
The phone rang to interrupt the overwhelming silence. Jess jumped up.
"That's for me," Jess said.
Luke stood, trying not to seem too eager to answer the phone. "No, Jess, I- I have a pretty good feeling that's for me."
"Rory said she'd call tonight around 8," Jess replied. "It's after 8. Do the math."
"Jess, just let me answer it!" Luke said.
"Why?" Jess asked with a smirk. "Is Lorelai supposed to call you tonight?" Luke rolled his eyes. "If it's her, I'll just hand it over," Jess said, picking up the phone with a smile.
"Rory, that better be you," he said into the phone. "Cuz I don't know if I want to be around listening to Luke talk to your mother and pretend he doesn't-"
"Jess?" an all too familiar voice asked on the other end. Jess froze. "Jess, hon, is that you?"
Jess paused, before commanding in a firm voice, "Don't ever call here again."
He slammed the phone down before she had a chance to say anything, and then left it off the hook to keep her from calling again.
Luke watched him cautiously, not sure whether or not he was about to erupt. "I tried to stop you from answering it," Luke offered.
"Why was she calling here?" Jess asked angrily. "I thought you guys got everything over and done with when you went to New York last week?"
"I thought we did too," Luke answered. "But some new stuff came up, she just started calling. I told her you probably didn't wanna talk to her, but she didn't listen, and she just kept calling-"
"What the hell 'came up'?" Jess demanded. "What 'stuff'? No wait-don't tell me. She got an AA sponsor, and she broke it off with her drug dealer, and now she's a new woman and she's gotten to that step in her 12 step program where you need to get all the people you screwed over to forgive you, right?" Luke was silent. "Well, I guess she's just out of luck, cuz there are some things a son doesn't forgive a mother for." Jess grabbed his money and car keys and headed to the door. Luke's solemn voice behind him stopped him in his tracks.
"Your Dad's back," Luke said.
Jess froze, his hand on the doorknob, trying to maintain his composure. It was a long time before he could get out the words, "He's not my Dad. He may be my father, but he was NEVER my Dad."
"That's what I told her," Luke said. "But just the same... the guy wants to see you. And he's apparently bugging the hell out of Liz to get you to come down there and see him. Otherwise, he's gonna come up here."
"No," Jess said sternly, turning back to him. "He's not coming up here. Not if I have any say over it, he's not."
"Jess," Luke began, "I know you're pretty resentful of this guy. I am too, I mean he just left my sister and my nephew without a word. Didn't exactly make a great impression on me. But what could it hurt to just... talk to the guy? Just once?"
Jess shook his head. "I'm not voluntarily going down there to see either of them, and if either one of them comes up to Stars Hollow, I'm gonna skip town." He opened the door. "End of story," he said, walking out.
Luke didn't bother to follow him. Usually it bothered him when Jess just ran off without telling him where he was going. But right now... Jess was pissed off. And Luke hardly blamed him.
***************************************************************
Jess walked straight out to the nearest pay phone by Gypsy's auto-repair shop. Angrily, he dialed Rory's cell phone number. After a few rings, Rory answered.
"Hello?"
He smiled a little. He was angry, but not at her. He didn't even wanna talk about what was going on. He just wanted to see her, and forget about this whole thing. "Hey, what are you doing?"
Recognizing his voice, she tried her hardest to act as though nothing had changed. She didn't want to tell him just yet that her mother knew, that her mother also hated him, and that Rory herself was thinking.... Well, she was just having some doubts. "I'm just studying," she said.
"Still?" he asked. "It's like 9. You're usually done hours before this."
Rory sighed. "Yeah, well something came up," she said. "Something pretty time consuming. I just got started like half an hour ago."
"So there's probably no chance you'd wanna do something tonight, huh?"
"Sorry," she replied. "I'm pretty swamped."
Jess paused. "Are you all right? You sound kinda weird."
Rory tried her hardest to sound perky... or at the very least, normal. "I'm fine. Don't worry."
Jess nodded, not sure if he really believed her or not. "Ok. We're still meeting tomorrow night, right?"
"Tomorrow night?" she asked. "Sorry, I'm blanking, what were we supposed to do tomorrow night?"
"After the grandparents dinner, we were gonna meet at that Café in Hartford, Joe's. Remember?"
"Oh yeah," Rory said. "Uh actually, would you mind if we took a rain check on tomorrow night?"
Jess sighed. "Yeah. Whatever."
"We can meet there on Saturday night instead. How's that?"
"It's fine," Jess said, halfheartedly. This relationship was like a roller coaster ride; twice a week, everything was perfect, and every other day, there was some weird unspoken problem.
Rory sighed. "Call me Saturday when you get off work?"
"Sure thing," he said. "Gotta go, see ya later." He hung up before she had a chance to say goodbye. He didn't mean to snap at her; it wasn't her fault, really. But he needed a distraction from this newly presented situation with his father, and she couldn't help. It was just frustrating. He went to his car and started the ignition. He didn't know where he was going to go; he just needed to get away for a while.
*********************************************************************
Emily Gilmore looked from her daughter to her granddaughter, and back again. Lorelai was pouring herself her third glass of wine. Rory was picking at her food, barely eating any. And neither one of them was talking. It was very unsettling, especially when Richard wasn't present to offer a distraction.
"So, Rory," she tried to start conversation. "How does it feel to know that in 5 days, you'll be a high school graduate?"
Rory smiled slightly. "It feels great."
Emily's smile faded. She had expected Rory to continue, what with her talent for writing and public speech. "That's all?" Emily asked. "Just great?"
Rory looked confused. "Well a little scary too. But it's mostly a positive feeling. The fear only makes up about two percent of my overall emotion at this point."
Emily nodded understandingly, trying to look incredibly interested so that Rory would keep talking, but Rory just kept picking at the lamb chops on her plate. She looked to Lorelai, only to find her refilling her wine glass.
"Don't you think you've had enough wine for the night, Lorelai?"
"No," Lorelai replied bluntly as she took another long sip.
Emily sighed. "Well I hope you're not planning on driving like this."
"Well see mom," Lorelai explained, putting down her glass, "This is exactly why I had Rory, so that she could drive me home when I'm too intoxicated to walk in a straight line."
Emily took a sip of her own drink. This tension was unbearable. Something was going on, she could tell. They were both unusually quiet. They were barely eating. It wasn't natural for world champion eaters like themselves who had quite a talent for babbling.
Also, Rory looked incredibly uncomfortable. It was nothing you would notice unless you knew her well... but the look in her eyes indicated that a million thoughts were running through her head, and they weren't happy thoughts either.
"Are you all right, Rory?" Emily asked. Rory looked up, faking a happy smile.
"I'm fine, Grandma," she said halfheartedly.
"Are you sure?" Emily asked. "You've barely touched your food."
"No, I'm fine, really. I'm just not too hungry, I guess." Rory paused for a moment before putting down her fork. "Excuse me a minute. I need to use the bathroom." She stood and headed out into the hallway. Emily watched her go, before turning to Lorelai.
"What's the matter with her?" she asked, confused.
"I dunno, small bladder?" Lorelai guessed.
"I don't mean her going to the bathroom," Emily said. "She's acting very strange Lorelai. As are you. Would you care to explain this all to me? Because it's all very unsettling."
Lorelai sighed. "It's nothing, mom. We just... things have been a little awkward the past couple days. Rory and I had a fight."
"A fight?"
"That's what I said, isn't it?"
"Don't be wise, Lorelai."
"I'm not being wise!" Lorelai said. "I'm just checking! With this much alcohol in my system, it's very possible that the words I thought and the ones that actually came out of my mouth were very different."
"Was it a big fight?"
"Well yeah, I guess it was. Probably among our all time top 5 biggest fights."
"Did you two make up?"
"Yes, we did." Lorelai sighed. "But just because we're not yelling at each other anymore, it doesn't mean everything's peachy keen again."
Emily thought a moment. "What did you two fight about?"
Lorelai avoided her mother's eyes. "Nothing, really."
"You had a huge fight about nothing?"
"Well obviously it was SOMETHING-just nothing of importance, that's all."
"It must be important."
"Mom, please, just stop pushing this," Lorelai said, annoyed.
"I just want to know what's going on. I have every right to know why the two of you are behaving so strangely-"
"No you don't, mom!" Lorelai snapped. "You don't have every right to know. This isn't any of your business." Lorelai took a long sip of wine and stared at the table bitterly. Emily sat in silence, unable to come up with the right words. Fortunately, Lorelai spoke before she had to.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just a little on edge tonight, I didn't mean to be so harsh."
Emily paused. "Well I suppose it's understandable to act this way when you've had as much wine as you have."
"It's Jess," Lorelai said out of the blue. Emily listened carefully. It was rare for Lorelai to open up and voluntarily tell her about the problems in her life. When she did, it was only because she had no one else to tell; but Emily was grateful for it, just the same.
"Rory's boyfriend?" Emily clarified.
Lorelai nodded. "That very one." She sighed. "I've tried really hard to like this kid, and for a while, I actually did. But I just-I don't think he's good for Rory."
"That's what you fought about?" Emily asked. "You don't think he's good for her, but she disagrees?"
"In a nutshell, yeah," Lorelai said. "That's the basic gist of it."
"Well personally, I think you're in the right here," Emily said. "Rory usually has good judgment. But not always. I don't think it's possible for a teenager to always use good judgment."
"Well that's great that you agree with me, mom," Lorelai said, "But what am I supposed to do here?"
"Forbid her to see him anymore," Emily said, as though it were the most obvious solution in the world.
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Gee thanks, Mrs. Capulet, that's fantastic advice."
"Mrs. Capulet? What do you mean?"
"No, it's just... Juliet Capulet. In Romeo and Juliet. Her parents forbid her to see him, which of course was irrational cuz then she killed herself and I was making a comment about how-never mind." Lorelai sighed. "I can't just forbid her to see him anymore, mom. I'm not that kind of mom."
"Oh and I am?" Emily asked, somewhat offended.
"Well, no offense mom, but have you ever stopped to wonder why our relationship is so much less pleasant than my relationship with Rory?"
Emily sighed. "I suppose you have a point. But if you feel that Rory isn't using good judgment, you do need to use whatever means necessary to protect her."
"I won't forbid her, mom," Lorelai said. "No matter how much I dislike him, she cares about him a lot. That wouldn't be fair to her." She started pouring herself some more wine. "But it still does sound pretty damn appealing."
Rory, standing just out of their view in the hallway, sighed silently, trying to put on her happiest, unaffected facial expression before returning to the room. She'd overheard the whole thing, but she couldn't let on that she had. She had to pretend that her decision had been solely hers, or her mother would never offer her opinion again.
************************************************************
Lorelai was bored. Incredibly bored.
She had ordered pizza, and eaten until she couldn't eat anymore. Then she'd scanned their video library for something to watch. After coming up empty handed, she'd channel surfed until her fingers got tired. She had nothing to do, and she couldn't go anywhere, because Rory had taken the car to go meet Jess somewhere.
She couldn't walk to Luke's either. She'd felt too weird ever since she found out about Rory and Jess to even be in Luke's presence, let alone converse with him. She had it on pretty good authority that he didn't know yet, and she was pretty much okay with that. Luke was sort of like a father figure to Rory... right down to the insanely overprotective part. She didn't need him to be freaking out every time Rory so much as looked at a guy.
The phone rang, and Lorelai leaped for it, immensely grateful for any distraction from the boredom.
"Hello?"
"Mom?" Rory's exasperated voice sounded distorted through her cell phone.
"Rory!" Lorelai cried, ecstatic. "Thank God you called! I need your help. I'm thinking about walking over to the video store. Now, should we have some ogre-ish fun with Shrek, or should we Thelma and Louise it again?"
"Mom...." Rory repeated, her voice shaky. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying.
"Ok, honey, if it's that hard for you to choose, I can just rent them both," Lorelai said.
"Mom, I need you to come get me."
Lorelai panicked. "What? Why? I-Where are you? You're not in the hospital again, are you?"
"No," Rory sighed. "I'm at that Café in Hartford. Joe's."
"But don't you have the car with you?"
"It won't start," Rory said. "I think our gas gage is broken. It's been saying the tank is half full for about two weeks now."
"But isn't Jess there with you? Can't he drive you?"
"He offered to, but I told him no, because it would too awkward, what with him hating my guts and all."
Lorelai paused. "Wow. That was a level of nonsense that even I have not yet experienced. Try again please?"
Rory sighed. "We just broke up."
Lorelai didn't say a word.
"Mom?" Rory asked in a meek voice. "Mom, say something."
"Wow," Lorelai said.
"Something slightly more substantial, place."
"Well I'm kinda busy imagining scenarios in which it would be justifiable for me to kill Jess, and it's exhausting, so I'm really not ready to be forming sentences just yet."
"Mom," Rory said, frustrated. She really needed some comforting words just then.
"Hold on a sec," Lorelai said.
"Mom, come on. You're really not helping here."
"I'm sorry, I don't understand," Lorelai said. "What the hell happened? Things were going great-well actually things weren't going all that well, what with the pregnancy scare and the sex, but I mean-" she stopped short.
"Mom? Mom, are you there?"
"That little tool," Lorelai said, shaking her head.
"What's wrong mom?" Rory asked, completely lost.
"I cannot believe he used you like that."
Rory sighed, knowing exactly what her mother was saying. "He did not use me for sex, mom."
"Oh so it was just a coincidence that he broke up with you two weeks after you slept with him? Yeah, very likely."
"Again, mom, you're not really helping much."
Lorelai sighed. "I'm so sorry honey."
Rory tried to blink away the tears welling in her eyes. "Thanks."
"I'm gonna go borrow Sookie's car right now and come pick you up. And we'll pick up our best friends at the market on the way home."
Rory smiled a little. "It'll be good to see Ben and Jerry again. It's been awhile."
"I love you, hon," Lorelai said.
"Love you too, Mom. Bye."
Lorelai hung up, feeling like she'd just been hit by a ton of bricks. She didn't even know what to think. How could she have let this happen? How could she have just stood by and let her daughter fend for herself while that jerk just led her on like that?
She paused, staring at the phone. She picked it up and dialed angrily, pacing the room to dispel some of her furious energy.
"Hello?"
"I'm gonna kill him Luke," she said, not even telling him who 'him' was, or that she was the one speaking. "It will probably be really painful, too. I just thought I'd let you know that."
"What? Lorelai--?"
She hung up before he had a chance to finish. Grabbing her purse, she headed over to Sookie's.
************************************************************
A/N: Ok so first thing's first. I'm sorry it took SOOOOOOOOOOO long for this update, I've been extra-super-duper busy the past couple weeks (midterm stress, a zillion papers and tests, projects, etc.) but now I've got vacation for a couple weeks, so the rest should come easy to me. Ok, secondly, I know this sucks. They broke up, everything's falling apart (hence the name of the chapter), and it just seems like everything's doomed to end up icky and sad, but I promise, IT WILL GET BETTER. So don't stop reading. I haven't let you down yet, have I? Ok so next chapter, you get to find out about the actual break up-how it happened, where, why, etc. And there will be other stuff of course. If you are violently opposed to anything that seems to be going on, please let me know in a review (just don't be too harsh, please). And of course, even if you aren't violently opposed, review anyway!!!! Hehehe reviews give me a happy. All right. More comes soon!
~Emaline
P.s. per request of..... somebody, when the story is over, I will put at the end a fully credited list of all the songs I used and their artists.
