Saito Snaps: Vol. 1


**What Hajime Saito was thinking during his first fight with Kenshin: modern language version**

Saito: Imma whoop this bastards ass.

~goes into gatotsu mode, Kenshin dodges~

Saito: Aw hell naw. I know this muthafucka don't think he can get away!

~stabs Kenshin~

Saito: Hehe, fucker.

~Kenshin gets up, comes at him; Saito boots him~

Saito: Christ, this nigga fast. I didn't expect that shit. Oh well.

~Kenshin goes into Battousai mode~

Saito: Oh, shitty. Lookit them eyes! Just as I thought: everytime he swings his ghetto sakabato, he unconciously goes Battousai.

Kenshin: Here I come.

Saito: Bring it, ass!

~they get to fightin'~

Saito: Oh, smack you, whack, ching, babow, ooooo!

~Kenshin snaps, starts hootin' and hollerin'~

Kenshin: YAAAAGHHGGHH!

~hits Saito in the back of the neck, sends him into wall~

Saito: (face in said wall) Oh no. It's ON now!

~climbs out of said wall~

Saito: I WAS gonna let your bitch ass live, but now I changed my mind. You're catchin' an ass whoopin'.

~they fight some more~

Kenshin: (screaming again)

Saito: Ain't he hoarse yet? Jeez.

~gets sword cut in half by Kenshin~

Saito: Shit.

Kenshin: Next time, it'll be your head.

Saito: Nigga, I'd like to see you try!

~goes gatotsu on him, chucks sword half at him~

Kenshin: (blocks sword with hand) splat!

Saito: Goooooooddamn!

~goes flying at him, cocky ass grin on his face, whips out belt, and chokes Kenshin~

Saito: You're fucking finished!

Narrator Sanosuke: He's trying to snap Kenshin's neck!

Saito and Kenshin: Shut up, aho!

Kenshin: (uses sheath to hit Saito)

Saito: (spitting out tooth) No, this muthafucka didn't!

~roars like beast~

Kenshin: (getting fucked up)

Saito: Let's finish it, pussy.

Kenshin: Aa.

~fight some more~

Kawaji: Stop!

Saito: Man, I be hatin' some people.

Kenshin: Kiss ass, me and Saito are killin' each other.

Okubo: Stop!

Saito: Your mom. Anyways, another time, Battousai.

~walks through hole in wall~

Kawaji: What's your report?

Saito: Kenshin sucks big cock, Battousai could be useful. Get some Rogaine.


Oi, sometimes I crack myself up. I wrote this during my boring ass intermediate algebra class in college.