The light
I see it
In you
It's like a tunnel; the brightness is at the end
But you have to watch out'
It could only be a train after all
I lean against the side of an anonymous car
School has been over for 20 minutes but I can't leave just yet
You stand oh so close
So close I think if I whispered your name
You'd hear
Please, hear me
I see you for the first time in months
Laugh
How joyous it sounds
Maybe I had been wrong
About what I had thought would happen to you
Sooner or later
The darkness is such an addicting place
And once you're there, you think everyone on the track to it will end up here eventually
Not you
Oh, no
You were one of the lucky ones
I always knew you were strong
Enough
But will this happiness of yours last?
Is it just a front? To keep those around you oblivious
Of your real pain
I wonder
Too much actually
If I were in your life
Would anything in you change?
Would you talk to me with such kindness like you do with your brothers?
With your friends?
Would I even be under that category?
You're recovering; I can't lie about that, not to myself at least
So, why do I feel so left behind now?
You left me
Here in this damn place
Where everything is so screwed up, I can't make sense of anything
Not even this passion I feel for you
Yearn for you
Maybe this is all in my head
Although
This time
I need you
I don't need just "somebody"
It's you
Who can save me now?
I had said I was "gone" before but I'm not so sure anymore
Could I had only been drowning this whole time
And what I need is for someone to breath life into me
Please, let it be you
Only you
Save me, Ponyboy Curtis
Because now more than ever, I'm dying once again
Wanting to crawl away and never show my face
No one would notice if I were gone anyway!
I had said every person doesn't give a shit about you
Since they are to busy dealing with themselves.
Well, how about someone deal with me!!
Did anyone ever think of saving me!
Huh?
Of course not
Not the first time I had tried to leave this place
And not the second time
Especially, not now, when it's going to be the third
I stand up on my feet, not having the car supporting me any longer.
I wasn't going to have anyone support me this time
I take a deep breath
And I begin walking
Away from you
Away from the teenagers who are too busy socializing to notice the whole world changing around them
I close my eyes
Unnecessary tears forming on my pale cheeks
A wavy, dark lock of my hair falling over my forehead
I step onto the black gravel road
Cars pass me from left to right
Can't they even see me!?
I outstretch my arms and I throw my head back
The warm sun shining over me, I feel it against my face
Against my body
Such a beautiful day
For such a pathetic death
Suicide you might call it
I've done it before, tried too
But people whole me back
Or is it just myself?
I can hear commotion riling all around me
The voices come off more like the buzzing of bees
My eyes open when I hear the beeping of a car
And as I put my head forward, I see it coming
Oh, it's coming all right
And as the driver hits the breaks, it keeps going
Life is such a wonderful thing
For some people that is
I truly believe that
I wasn't one of them
I thought you weren't either, Pony
But under it all, you deserve to be here
Most of all
You deserve to live a happy one
Enjoy what you got left of this world
Of this time
Because one day, it could all change
Like today
Life is just….
I'm whisked away by a sharp blow suddenly
Another body colliding with mines, almost trampling me
I fall onto the side of the road
My shoulder hitting it's self-hard against it
Strong yet overbearing arms are wrapped around me
My face contorted in shock ness yet anger exploding
And I begin hitting the person
I was stopped yet again
Didn't anyone realize that I hated being here!
Couldn't I just be another stupid teen who had been to weak and beyond help?
So many of them
I'd be loss in the count
My cheeks are flushed furiously
I'm crying
Almost violently
Even as I hit harder and harder at the chest that is so close to mines
The arms never let go of me
I roll my head from side to side
"Leave me, leave me!" I'm screaming so loudly that it's deafening to me
His soothing whispers wash over my cries as the strength in me slips away
I bury my face in this stranger's chest
"…..Somebody save me" I murmur
"I have" He replies
I gaze wondrously
My vision trailing it's way higher to meet those
Indolent eyes
Those eyes that I have noticed constantly
That spark is in them again
I touch his face so softly
My fingers trace his features and his eyes follow them
I never known completeness
Like being here
I'm wrapped in the warmth of you
Here my heart knows calm for the first time
I wish this moment could last forever
I wish I could stay here with you for an eternity
It hit me
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt
Was leading up to this
"…..Ponyboy"
A/N: Review, please and tell what you think.
