Disclaimers: enter standard disclaimer here.
Cure for a Broken heart 3/5
By Elysia [ely_chan@yahoo.com]
PG
The two of them slowly walked down the moonlit path. Dark clouds began to roll across the sky from the south, threatening to engulf the moon and let loose a downpour of rain at any moment.
The clouds were similar to Serena's feelings. Even though she barely knew him, she still felt somewhat inferior to Darien. He was an intelligent doctor, and she was still struggling through college. She liked him, but wasn't sure if she would let it go further than that.
But she was grateful for the fact that he didn't treat her in such a way, remembering back when she had been with Ben. Now that she thought about it, he constantly treated her as a child, never letting her make decisions on her own.
She really had to hand it to Ami for setting them up. This felt very different. Serena admitted to herself that she felt quite safe in Darien's company, even only after two dates.
Her thoughts turned back to the present as Darien jumped over a large puddle left from an earlier rainstorm, holding out his hand to help her step over it. She hesitated a moment, then placed her hand in his warm one, and neatly stepped over the puddle.
She fully expected Darien to release her hand after that, but to her surprise, he held on and continued walking. Before Serena had the chance to decide if it was a trick or just plain friendliness, a loud crash of thunder sounded and a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, causing her to shiver and scream inwardly in fear. She'd always hated thunderstorms, ever since she was a little girl. Standing outside in the middle of one now didn't help to suppress that fear.
In her frantic attempt to get out of the storm, Serena hadn't realized she was clutching Darien's shoulder, digging her fingernails into his arm. She released her hold from his shoulder, smiling apologetically. "Sorry about that. I really hate storms."
He smiled back. "It's all right, although I don't know if I'll be able to use to my arm for a while," he replied jokingly, venturing to keep his face serious as he said it. He lost control and gave in to a hearty laugh as Serena poked him playfully in the side.
As the storm began to strengthen, Darien searched around the park and spotted a gazebo a few yards away. He tugged on her arm. "This way."
They stood beneath the gazebo, their temporary shelter from the torrential downpour. Serena pulled her damp hair out of her face and twisted it to get the excess water out. Then all was silent again, apart from the dripping of the rain off the roof.
Darien's calm voice broke through the awkward silence. "Serena, I've never known anyone else like you," he spoke softly, his hand coming up and gently brushing the rest of the damp hair away from her face. "You're lively, fun, exciting to be with—"
"—and probably the only girl you've ever met who's deathly afraid of thunderstorms," she interrupted, attempting to lighten the mood. She had heard these kinds of words once before, and she gave in too. His tone of voice worried her.
He chuckled. "That's very true. None of the other women I work with at the hospital are as energetic as you."
"With the exception of Ami, right?"
Darien grinned, playing along now. "Oh, yes, of course." The laughter left his voice slowly, and he became serious again. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find the right person, you know, the one who's meant for me." He looked over, and gazed into her face. "Do you?"
Serena stood in silence, thinking deeply about his question. "I used to," she replied finally. "I used to worry about it all the time. But I can't think like that anymore. I've decided to let things happen naturally, I guess, let life take its own course, and to follow wherever it takes me."
"Oh." Darien's gaze fell away from hers, and he stepped to the other side of the gazebo. He stared out into the horizon, masked by the pouring rain. "Do you ever wonder if maybe... life led you here?"
"What?" she blurted out, caught off guard. She moved to lean against the wooden support, watching him closely. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Hypothetically speaking," he replied, suddenly sounding more like the doctor he was, "do you think that your "course of life," as you put it, led you to this point in time? Think about it. What if you had never decided to come back to Tokyo as early as you did? What if you never ran into Ami at your high school reunion? What if you hadn't come to the hospital? What if—"
"What if I had never met you?" Serena intoned softly, finally seeing where his topic of conversation was leading.
"I—" Darien fell silent, not sure how to answer her.
"I don't know, Darien. I've never been asked that question before. Nor have I really considered it. I can't say that my life has changed significantly since I met you, but I—"
While she had been trying to answer his question, he had taken her delicate hand in his again, startling her momentarily. She stared into the depths of his eyes. Eyes so blue, dancing with laughter and mystery as he gazed down at her. She recalled the memory of Ben's dark brown eyes, always concealing his feelings when ever she had looked at him.
A feeling of pain and sorrow washed over her. She turned away from Darien, her hand still clasped with his. Serena tried concentrating on the patterns the raindrops created on the wooden steps of the gazebo. What was this feeling, this sensation that was harboring in her heart? Was it fear? Fear that her heart would never care for anyone again? Fear that she might actually have feelings for Darien?
She felt his other hand come up, turning her face to look into his eyes once more. His hand did not leave her face immediately, instead it slid to the side, caressing her cheek softly. She closed her eyes, not knowing what to make of this emotion that made her heart pound so fiercely. She never felt this with Ben. Was this why she felt so strange all of a sudden?
His warm lips brushed lightly against hers, then more fully, though his touch remained gentle. His arm slowly came around her waist, pulling her closer to him.
Waves of emotion surged through her... shock... reluctance... finally, a small amount of acceptance. Serena started sliding her arms up around his neck, bringing him closer. But being this close to someone who could possibly care for her so deeply terrified her. Once she had thought Ben loved her, but she had been wrong. It was too hard to give her trust to someone again so soon.
She pulled away from his embrace, and abruptly moved to the other side of the gazebo, shying away from his piercing gaze. They stood like that in a painful silence, until his voice filled the air again.
"I'm sorry, Serena. I shouldn't have been so forward. I didn't mean to—"
"No, Darien," she cut him off, trying to relieve some of the embarrassment. "It's just that-that... well, I hardly know you. We've been out on a few dates, and this just seems awfully sudden to me. I don't know if Ami told you, but I've just come out of a relationship. I'm not very good at this."
The palm of his hand fell lightly upon her shoulder, wanting to pull her close again, but fearing her reaction. "I'm sorry, Serena. I didn't know. But that guy doesn't know what he gave up. It feels like I've known you much longer than a week. Would it mean anything to you, Serena, if I told you I think about you a great deal? Ever since we met, I can't seem to get you out of my head. I'd like nothing more than for—"
"Please, Darien, don't," she broke in again softly, very much afraid to hear what he might say next. Once she gave into those words, and her heart shattered because of it. It was too hard to open herself again so soon.
She looked into his eyes again, almost losing herself in them. For a split second she considered staying, but sadly turned away. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, half to herself, and half out loud, "I'm so sorry."
With those words, she flew off the steps of the gazebo into the blinding sheets of rain, her fear of the storm the last thing on her mind.
******
She walked through the automatic doors to the hospital, making her way to the floor where she knew Ami was. She took all precautions to shield her face from view in case he should happen to walk by. Darien was the *last* person Serena wanted to see right now.
Just as she was about to leave, a familiar figure in a white lab coat appeared. "Ami!" she called out in a loud whisper, careful not to draw attention to herself.
"Hi, Serena. Darien's just down the hall in his office. Would you like me to show you the way?" She shook her head immediately. "No, actually, I came here to see you. Do you have a minute? I really need to talk to you in private."
"Sure, I was about to take a break. Let's go into my office." Ami led the way down the corridor, unlocking a door at the end of the hall which led into a relatively normal-sized room.
Ami flopped into a high-backed cushioned chair behind her desk, and motioned for Serena to sit down as well. "So, what's up? How are things between you and Darien?" she asked, a cheerful smile lighting up her face.
As Serena lifted her head, Ami got a good look at her in the natural light. Her smile slowly faded away. Dark circles were apparent beneath her red-rimmed eyes, and there was no smile anywhere to be seen on her face, only a sullen expression. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that."
"What happened? Did he treat you poorly?"
"Hardly. It was just the opposite. I've never been treated better in my life," Serena replied, her voice devoid of any emotion. "He kissed me," she mumbled after a moment's silence.
Ami was sure her ears had betrayed her. "Say that again?"
"He kissed me."
She fought to keep a grin from surfacing. "So... I don't understand. What's the problem?"
"That is the problem. I hardly know him Ami!" Serena exploded, all the emotions she had suppressed finally poured out. The tears filled up in her eyes again, and finally spilled over. "I'm still trying to get over Ben, and now this? I'm going back to Hawaii for school after Christmas. I couldn't just leave it hanging, that wouldn't be fair to him. I don't think I can give away my heart again." She buried her face in her hands. "I'm so confused."
"Maybe I should have been a psychiatrist after all," Ami muttered under her breath. She leaned forward on her desk. "All right, Serena. Tell me what's so confusing."
She looked away and stared out the large picture window, her vision of the city blurred by her tears. "I think... I think I'm afraid to let someone really care for me again, especially after Ben. Darien mentioned that the other night, and I just froze. I didn't know what to say to that. Once I thought Ben cared for me, but he didn't. I'm afraid to have that happen again."
She laid her head in her hand. "And the fact that I'm a college student and Darien's this genius of a doctor intimidates me too. I wouldn't want to hurt him for the world, but he deserves better than me. I have nothing to give him."
Ami sat silently in her chair, seriously contemplating her response. There wasn't much she could say. She let out a sigh. "Serena, would you like me to talk to Darien for you?" A small glimmer of hope appeared on Serena's face. "Would you really do that for me?"
"Well, since I got you into this in the first place, and I know him the best after working with him for so long, I'll do my best to help you work this out. I'll go see him later."
"Oh, thanks, Ames! You're the best!" Serena jumped out of her chair, ran around the desk, and gave Ami a huge hug. "Now go home, and get some sleep. You look horrible."
Serena smiled for the first time since her arrival. "Jeez, Ami, you sure know how to make a girl feel good," she shot back as she left the office.
******
Ami lightly tapped on the door to Darien's office. There was a faint acknowledgment from the other side, so she let herself in, softly closing the door behind her. "Hey, Darien, do you have a minute? There's something I need to ask you."
He was busily going over some files of new patients admitted earlier that day, and the pen flew over the reports as he spoke. "Sure, Ami. What's on your mind?"
She didn't waste any time getting to the point. "How are things going with Serena? Did you enjoy your date the other night?"
The pen stopped in mid-paragraph, dropping to the desk with a clatter. Not a word came from him. Ami moved closer to the desk, and sat in one of the adjacent chairs. "Darien? Did you hear me?"
"Yes," he responded, his voice barely above a whisper.
"So, how did it go?" she pressed.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
She sighed. "I thought I should let you know Serena came to see me about twenty minutes ago and she told me everything."
His head shot up, finally making eye contact with Ami. "No wonder she didn't want to see me, not after how I royally messed up."
"That's part of it. I've heard Serena's side, would you tell me yours?"
"There's not much to tell, except I went too fast, and I've probably lost my chance with her. You obviously know her better, Ami. I've never felt this way around anyone before, like I'm only a half a person without her near me. I should have backed off when she told me about her bad relationship. Why didn't I listen? Now I'll never get the chance to know how she feels about me."
Ami shifted in her seat. "Maybe, maybe not. She told me basically the same thing, although she emphasized more on the part where you kissed her."
Darien ducked his head a little, but not before Ami caught sight of a faint blush on his cheeks. "Yes, I got a little carried away there," he admitted.
"That's only one thing that scared her away. If anything developed between you two, what would happen when she had to return to Hawaii for school?"
Darien's face went blank. "I--I don't know. I guess I hadn't really thought about it."
"There's your problem, Darien. You don't take into consideration what's in your future. Are you happy with the way you are right now, or do you want more?"
"I'm not really understanding you, Ami."
"Let me ask you a simple question to illustrate my point. Which way would you prefer your life: before you met Serena, or the way it is now, now that you've met her? Would you be willing to give up things in your life for her?"
There was no hesitation in his voice, only finality. "Yes, Ami, I would. She means that much to me."
"Then you have to reassure her that her fears are nothing more than insignificant worries. If you respect her that much, at least let her know how you really feel. Serena told me she thinks you deserve better than her. Her heart's been broken once. Don't make it a second time. She's barely hanging on."
His face paled. "It's the other way around. She's too good for me. I wouldn't want to hurt her for anything in the world."
"Then don't let her slip away, Darien. I know how special Serena is. She was the first friend I had in high school. If you let that go without trying to save it, then I'll... oh, I don't know what I'll do, but I promise you, it won't be nice," she answered, standing up to leave.
"Thanks, Ami. I honestly appreciate all your help."
On her way out the door, she stopped. "Oh, and one more thing. Talk to her about this in person, not over the phone. That's just tacky." His office door shut behind her.
Darien let out a long sigh. He wouldn't give up on Serena without a fight. But how could he without hurting her again?
