Spike stared at the white walls around in a daze as he signed several papers and left a number where he could be reached. The officer helping him smiled sympathetically. "I'm sorry for your loss, Chris Jameson was a good man. He put a lot of evil behind bars. We'll do our best to find who did this to him and your sister in law."

Spike could only nod at the man as he stood to leave, his mind still not totally accepting what had happened. Buffy filled his thoughts now, he wasn't sure she could survive this loss. He made his way back to the car and found Angel going through the diaper bag, "We may have a problem, there are plenty of diapers and wipes, a pacifier and even a couple changes of clothes in here but there are no bottles or formula of any type. That little guy's going to be hungry when he wakes up."

Spike half listened to Angel as he turned to watch the baby sleeping in the backseat, the baby who would grow up never knowing the touch of his mother or the sound of her sweet laugh. He instinctively touched one of the tiny hands. "Spike.." Angel repeated his name twice.

"What?" He answered as he snapped back to reality.

"Food, Jake's going to be hungry." Angel started the car, "We don't have any bottles."

"I think his mom gives him the breast, " Spike frowned, "Gave him the breast." He shook his head as he corrected himself.

"Well we'll have to stop and get some formula and bottles and probably more diapers too." Angel drove towards the market.

"He's a pretty baby isn't he?" Spike asked as he continued to watch the infant sleep.

"Yes, he looks like her doesn't he?" Angel stopped the car, "I'll go in and get what we need you watch Jake."

"What if he wakes up?" Spike asked with no small amount of fear in his voice.

"Talk to him, just do what feels right." Angel smiled as he got out of the car, he was grateful for the chance to separate himself from the situation for a moment, so far he had held himself together for Spike's sake, but he was already going over his connections in his head, someone would pay for this. Buffy might not be his anymore but no one could hurt her or her family like this and get away with it.

Spike continued to watch the baby sleep as he waited for Angel to come out of the grocery. The silence in the car was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. He'd forgotten he even had it as he dug it out of his jacket pocket. "Hello."

"Finally!" Buffy's voice came over the static filled line.

"Buffy is that you?" He asked as even his excellent hearing had trouble over the static.

"Yes, I'm on my way to LA." She raised her voice into the phone hoping he could hear her.

"Go to Angels, first." He told her his voice shaky.

"Angels? Did you see Dawn?"

"Yes, I did. The connection is terrible I'll see you at Angels." He heard a soft "okay" before the phone went
dead. He put the phone back into his pocket, a small sigh of relief that Buffy was on her way, a small part of him wanted her there to comfort him even as he realized that as much as he loved Dawn, Buffy's grief would surpass his own.

**
That was odd. The connection was bad but Spike seemed off? The fear that had been collecting in the pit of her stomach escalated now. Every nerve in her body screamed that something was wrong - horribly wrong.

She pressed down harder on the gas pedal and flew towards LA.

**

Angel paid for his purchases and made his way back to the car. Spike was still watching the baby intently as if he were afraid that he might too be taken from him. "I didn't know what kiind of formula to get the woman showed me this one - she says its the least allergenic and since we don't know if he has allergies."

"I'm sure that will be fine." Spike finally silenced the older mans ramblings, "Buffy called."

"She did? Did you..."

"She's on the road, I didn't tell her anything, just to meet us at your place." Spike sighed.

"It's going to be okay, Spike." Angel sadly assured him.

"Really, how? Cause I've been thinking about it in every angle and I can't find one that's going to be okay at all." Spike slumped back against the seat and closed his teary, burning eyes.

Angel thought about Spike's words, he really didn't have an answer for him so with a heavy sigh he started the car.

The rest of the trip back to the Hyperion was made in complete silence save for the small noises Jake made in his sleep. Angel grabbed the grocery bag and Spike removed the baby from his car seat. He was still awkward with the baby but the underlying tenderness was there as he placed a soft kiss on the downy fuzz on the top of Jake's head. Angel watched him a small lump forming in his throat.

The baby still slept as Spike lay him on the sofa a small blanket under him. "I'm going to clean these bottles and mix up some formula for later. Why don't you just stay here and rest up." Angel told him as he took the bags to the kitchen and silently wished that Cordy or Fred were still fixtures at the hotel. But that was a long time ago and everyone's lives had changed so much over the years.
..
"Okay. Ummm thanks." Spike replied his voice weary. He placed his large hand on Jakes back and patted him softly as he closed his eyes.

***
Buffy squealed to a stop in front of the hotel and ran to the front door, "Spike!! Angel!" She called loudly as she entered.

Jake woke suddenly his crying intensifying with every minute as Spike opened his eyes and tried to figure out what was wrong. Angel came immediately from the kitchen just as Buffy found them.

Buffy's face showed relief when she saw Spike holding the screaming baby, if Jake was here then surely Dawn wasn't too far away. She quickly went to stand beside the couch, "What are you doing to him, Spike?" She asked teasingly.

"Nothing..just trying to calm him down." Spike replied tensely.

Buffy then noticed Spike's face, his eyes were red rimmed and slightly swollen, her relief from a moment ago faded back into fear, "Spike, where...where is Dawn?"

Angel answered from behind her, "Buffy... there was..." She turned to face him and he suddenly realized that it wasn't his place to tell her. He walked to where Spike was still sitting and took Jake from him, "I'll get him something to eat." He said quietly as he left Spike to break the news.

"Thanks." Spike replied shakily, "Buffy, I think you should sit down." He reached for her hand.

She jerked away from him, "I don't want to sit down, Spike. I want to see Dawn. Where is she?"

Spike stood then and put his hands on her shoulders, his eyes teared up again as he looked into her eyes,
"Buffy....there was some trouble....Dawn and Chirs are..." His voice broke before he could say the word.

Buffy'e face was the picture of abject misery as the word he hadn't said hit her, "No, they're going to be okay right?"

"Buffy...."

"No, no, Spike." She backed away from him and began to call out her sister's name, "Dawn!! Dawnie! Dawn. NO!" She sank to her knees then....."Dawnie." The last word came out a whisper before heavy sobs took over wracking her small body as she slumped on the floor.

Spike fell to the ground beside her instantly taking her into his arms and holding her tightly against him. Her small hands found purchase on his shirt front as she held on tightly to him, her very heart breaking as she soaked his chest with her grief.

Angel peeked into the room holding Jake in his arms trying to feed the baby the unwanted bottle. Poor Jake wasn't used to the hard rubber nipple and the milk wasn't the same and he wanted to be in his mommy's comfortable embrace as he nursed. Angel gave the baby a tired smile, "I know this isnt' the same, but you've got to eat." He walked back into the kitchen with the fussy baby deciding that Spike was taking care of Buffy better then anyone else could in this situation.

After what seemed like hours finally pulled back from him, one word on her lips, "How?"

Spike thought about putting off telling her the grisly truth, but decided she had the right to know.
"A drive by shooting right outside of their house. Luckily Jake was already in his car seat in the car. I got there right after it happened. Chris was already gone but Nib..Dawn was still hanging on." He paused for a moment as tears ran down his sharp cheeks.

"Who?" Buffy asked her grief laced with anger now.

"We don't know, Buffy. Evidently Chris was too good at his job he put away alot of influential bad guys."
Spike began to run his hand soothingly down her back.

"We're going to find them though, right? Make them pay for this!" Her voice quivered as more tears found their way down her face.

"Yes, love. We will. But we have a more important duty right now."

She looked up at him her eyes quesitoning him.

"Dawn....before.....she made me promise that we would take care of Jake." He pressed his arms around her even tighter.

"We...don't know anything about babies, Spike." Buffy's voice was fearful, "What if we can't do it?"

"Dawn had faith that we could do it." Spike softly assured her and himself.

"I...I want to see him, okay?" She asked as she untangled herself from his embrace and stood.

"Okay, Angel took him to the kitchen." Spike stood, taking her hand they walked into the kitchen.

Angel looked up from the chair he was sitting in, "Buffy, I'm so sorry." He stood and gave her a one armed hug, the other arm full of Jake.

"Thanks." She murmured as she reached for the still fussy baby, "What's wrong with him?"

"I'm trying to feed him but I don't think he likes it. I guess he's not used to a bottle."

"No, Dawn breastfed him." Buffy answered as she took the bottle from Angel.

Spike watched as she sat down in a chair and put the bottle in Jake's mouth, holding him tight against her she began to rock him ever so slightly, "It's okay, jake. Aunt Buffy and Uncle Spike are going to take care of
you." She spoke softly, a single tear rolling downher face to fall on Jakes head. The baby's bright eyes began to concentrate on her face on the soft voice talking to him. He was tired and he was hungry and if mommy wasn't here, maybe this soft person could help. The baby began to tenatively suck at the nipple, sticking his tongue out a couple of times he finally let his hunger get the best of him and latched on drinking the bottle dry.

"You've got the knack, pet." Spike smiled as he watched Jakes eyes begin to droop.

"But you have to burp him." Angel chimed in.

"Oh, yeah." Buffy put him on her shoulder and softly patted his back she was rewarded with a small burp. He was asleep before she brought him down from her shoulder.

"Poor little one, he's had a bad night." Spike patted the baby's back.

"I've put a crib in one of the rooms for you. I still had one and its got clean sheets on it. I'm sure all of you are ready for some rest." Angel led them to a room with a double bed and small porta crib in it.

Buffy lay the baby in the crib and covered him with his blanket. She kissed his forehead and turned to Angel, "Thanks for everything."

"Your welcome." He told her as he left the room.

Spike turned back the bed as Buffy stripped down to her tee shirt. He stripped and crawled between the blankets holding them up for Buffy. She scooted as close to him as she could resting her head on his chest as his arm wrapped around her. A sob escaped her throat as tears soaked his chest, it was met with a mathching sob from him as his tears soaked her soft hair.

The room echoed with their shared grief as little Jake slept ,oblivious to the nights tragedy.

TBC
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