CHAPTER Thirteen - Papa
It was late afternoon, when Merry felt well enough to play a little game with Pippin in bed. He tried to explain to Pippin the concept of the little round black shapes jumping over the little round red shapes to the other end of the board. Merry thought for sure Pippin would need a lot of practice sessions, but Pippin surprised him; he not only understood the strategy of the game, he actually surprise Merry on a few moves. Merry was proud of his little cousin's accomplishment.
Merry heard the knock on his door. "C'min!", yelled Pippin.
"But this is my room!", Merry told Pippin.
"You move." Pippin ignored Merry's remark. He scrunched up his nose in
concentration.
Paladin knocked and peeked into the room. "Hullo, Merry!"
"Hullo, Uncle!", Merry smiled at Paladin from the bed.
"Oh, Merry!", Paladin eyed the checkerboard. "Pippin will never leave you alone now!"
At Merry's baffled expression, Paladin continued, "Pippin loves chess and
checkers, though he's not good enough at either, yet!"
"He told me he never played checkers before!", Merry now looked at Pippin. Paladin swept Pippin into his arms and felt his forehead. "Pip, you and I have talked about truth and lies; tell Merry the truth."
Pippin tried to hide from Merry's gaze; he hid his face into his father's
shoulders. "Peregrin!", Paladin chided. "And apologize to Merry for not speaking the truth already."
"I play wit' papa", Pippin finally confessed. He put his finger in his mouth and said, "I sorry", and then buried his face into his father's shoulders again.
"We've only played a couple times, Merry", Paladin promptly pulled Pippin's finger out of his mouth, "but I fully intend to expose him to more of the games when his studies begin, and I teach him his letters, huh Pip?" Paladin patted his son's bottom.
"He's played...chess?", Merry was astounded.
"A little", said Paladin, "though he still plays soldiers with the game pieces mostly! But I can see more behind his eyes than playing soldiers with pawns, and so I try to teach him in my spare time--which isn't
much these days!" He put his son back on Merry's bed. "Pippin", Paladin urged his young son, "learn from Merry! He has much to teach you!"
"Yes, papa", and Pippin plopped onto the bed, laughing at the joy of the freefall.
Paladin felt Merry's forehead before leaving the room. "You still have a little ways to go, son." He looked at his own son, and shook his head. "Just look at him! His fever broke not too long ago, and he bounces about like a rabbit!"
Paladin noticed Merry's frown. "What's wrong, Merry?" Paladin was genuinely concerned for him; he put his hand on Merry's shoulder.
"Nothing....", Merry looked sideways at his uncle, "...papa." He often wondered what it was like to call someone papa...or dad, and they respond with kind words in return.
Merry's endearment staggered Paladin. He honestly didn't know what to say. Was Merry discarding his own father? What would his sister say if she were to hear that Merry called him Papa? Perhaps what others thought, including his sister and Saradoc, didn't matter. Perhaps somebody ought to put Merry first for once. But I'm not his father..., Paladin tried to reason within himself.
"Merry..." Paladin started.
If I let him call me papa, do I have the extra time needed for another child? My time is valuable out in the fields... All these thoughts swirled through Paladin's head.
"...maybe...", he spoke again. Paladin looked into his nephew's eyes. Paladin could already see the disappointment--Merry was fully expecting his uncle to reject his affection.
Finally, he thought, What am I saying? Can I tell this boy that it's too bad I don't have time for him? What kind of life will he be resigned to if I don't step in and be the papa he needs? Right then, Paladin knew where his heart was in all of this.
Perhaps words weren't needed. He sat down on the bed next to Merry, drew him close, and hugged him. "Everything will be alright...son."
