Everyone loved Severus Snape, that is of course, those that loved the evil and greasy haired professor type, and by the way, I am being sarcastic. Haha, well, yes, I do suppose that sometimes those that lived with him caused the most havoc. Yes, indeed. They did. In fact, I remember my sisters and I we made the last few years we were at Hogwarts a living nightmare, so much as to Dumbledore made it a rule that we could not use anything during our "free time" he said we got into a lot of trouble during our free time. Of course, why not get into trouble in your free time, especially when you are a Slytherin, one that lived with him year-round. The fun we had picking on him....anyways, this is a collection of what us year round live-ins and the school Slytherins did to him. We hope you enjoy.

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It all starts when all of the girls get together in the Snape Manor at the beginning of the year. In fact, they had the most fun during the summer, well, that's when the women of the house would get together and scheme while he was at Conventions. Perhaps the best year was 1994, going to 5th year.

The summer right after the Triwizard Tournament was busy around the wizarding world. Come to think about it, all the light wizards and witches in the Order of Phoenix were never home. Which is what gave those that had families to get away, but then, they missed their children. The ones that had the Dark Mark, their Dark Marks were burning more often, and at number 4 Privet Drive, a boy named Harry Potter was constantly waking drenched in cold sweat. Well, at least one thing was comforting to know..Harry knew Arabella Figgs secret, and he looked forward to going to her house now. Everytime he did, she would give him a letter from Sirius or Remus.

But anyways, back to the Snape manor. On a warm and sunny day in June, the last day, 30th, the women of the manor were outside. In the side yard in the Tennis Court that Clairese Snape insisted on having, the girls were talking, laughing, and some sitting in the shade sipping on lemonade and watching the twins. On the court, Clairese Snape, Samantha Whitefang, Mortania Riddle, and Sasha Snape were standing there, Clairese was teaching them how to play.

"Now, stand with your feet spread shoulder length apart, and hold your racket center." They were all doing as Clairese told them. Just then, a butler appeared out back and walked over to the Tennis Court, where they were. Clairese smiled. "Take a break." Everyone walked out of the court and to the tables. The butler smiled.

"Madam Snape," the butler began, Clairese held up a finger.

"Wait, I like that. Hang on, I want to take it all in." She smiled. The girls snickered. The butler smiled. She looked back at him. "Okay, you may continue."

"There is a visitor, do you want for me to show them out here?"

"Why, most certainly." She then took a white towel and wiped her forehead. She turned her attention to Mortania and Sasha whom were playing with the twins. The butler headed up the stairs again, and through the back French doors.

"Mum," Mortania looked at her mother. "What was Frederick telling you?"

"We have a visitor.." Clairese stopped in her sentence. Mortania looked around and standing there was none other than a girl about the same age, height, and everything. Mortania stood up and walked toward the female. Clairese pulled her hands up to her mouth.

"Oh, my Great MERLIN!" Mortania gave her a hug and they both laughed.

"Mom! Hey! What's up? What have you been up to? How's the education?"

Mortania then looked at the girl. "What did you do since October?"

The girl smiled. "Well, I got my nose pierced, my tongue pierced, a tattoo on my back, right above my pants line, my ear, my lower lip pierced. Of course, in October my belly button was already pierced. Oh! And my hair is dyed purple, black, and green."

Mortania looked at her hair.. "Nice sis, really nice. Malissa, where's your lower lip pierced?"

She pointed. "But I am wearing a spacer in there."

"Ok." Mortania turned, her mother was now standing there.

"What the hell?" She frowned, "Malissa, what did you do?"

"My hair dyed, and a tattoo, and a lot more piercings. Why?"

"Your aunt let you?"

"Aunt Morian got the same things done, except for her lower lip." Claireses' eyes widened.

"You're dying your hair, and getting rid of the piercing in your lower lip..you will only wear a stud in school. In your nose, Malissa Linn Riddle, and you are dying your hair tonight. Before Severus gets home."

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Chapter 1...

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That was when all the planning started. Malissa knew that she'd freak mum out, and I knew she'd tick Sev off, which is why we added that to the list, and SHE had fun..But our ultimate list began the next day..

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In the Snape family, there were now 19 children. The children of Clairese, which there were only 15 living in the manor. The other 4, were living either out of the house, (Clairese and Miguel) or living with relatives (Gracie and Diana.) The oldest ones were Clairese Peniah and Miguel they were both married. Then there was Samantha, Sheridan, Mortania, Malissa, Sasha, Derrick, Beata, Diana, Jasen Jr., Johnathon, Chloe, Austin, Hope, Gracie, Grace, Coralynn, and Mortisha. In the manor although they had a guest staying with them..Elania Devon.

When the kids were at Hogwarts, (Sam, Sheri, Tania, Lissa, Sasha, Derrick, Beata, Jasen, Chloe, and Johnathon) the others stayed with their grandmum.

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THE DATE: July 28th, 1994

THE TIME: Noon

THE TEMPERATURE: 83 degrees

THE WIND: Just out of the Northeast

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As Severus Snape sat down in his office he sighed. Ever since the day Malissa arrived, it seemed the women were always together. It scared him sort of. Like they were scheming against him. He pulled out the notebook that he kept in the top right hand drawer and opened it. In the cover it read across the top in big emerald green cursive letters was the name 'Mortania Clairese Hottersander.' He smiled, and flipped to a page. Reading it he felt like he was back in 1978. But as soon as he got the the second sentence, he felt like he was being watched. Looking up, he saw a little girl with curly brown hair pulled back into a pair of pigtails.

"Yes, Beata? How long have you been standing there? I thought you were outside playing?"

The little girl shrugged. She was still standing in the doorway.

"Beata, what is it you are looking at?"

The 11 year old smirked. "The degree on the wall. Professor, I mean, Severus, are you going to adopt us? So we all have one last name?"

"Well, Beata, would you like to sit down?"

"Yes sir."

"Beata, why do you ask that?"

"Because sir, I really like you, and I like it here..and mum is happy. Plus, everyone else is too shy to ask." She looked up, her blue eyes sparkled.

"Well, I guess I could talk it over with your mother..anything else Beata?"

"Yes sir, in case you didn't notice...Malissa changed your hair color....it's orange." He jumped up and looked in the mirror. He frowned and then turned to Beata, she was laughing.

"What now?"

Beata caught her breath. "You...you...you....you got...a.....a....you got a big..big fluffy..tail." She burst out laughing again. He checked.

The girls out side were having fun, when all of a sudden, "MALISSA!!!!" Mortania flinched. Malissa frowned. "They have found me out." Everyone started laughing

Clairese nodded. Coming storming outside was an orange haired, fluffy tailed Professor racing down the stairs. Mortania looked at her sister. Clairese smiled and then looked up at the look on Severus' face, she was starting to laugh. "RUN MALISSA!!!"

Just then the butler came outside with a brown haired girl. The girl was stunned at the sight she had seen. Clairese looked at her watch. Malissa was running down a path screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHH!" and Severus put a leg locker curse on her, she fell. He then started tickling her. The girl walked up to Clairese.

"Ahh! It must be time for lessons. Right?" The others smiled. Malissa was laughing, and Severus was tickling her. The brown haired girl smiled. She had a distorted look on her face.

"Professor, what is so funny that the others are laughing at?" Mortania stopped laughing and looked up and saw one of her mothers' students. She hit Sasha.

"Ow! What was that about?" Sasha turned around. "Oh." Sheridan jumped up and ran to the spot on the trail were Severus and Malissa were.

Mortania stood up. "Well, Hermione, you see, my twin, Malissa played a practical joke on Severus, and now, he is torturing her with laughter. She is being tickled."

Hermione Granger was taking lessons from Clairese in Defence Against Dark Arts every other day. As Cassia McGonagall, Cho Chang, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Blaise Zabini, Aimee Greingrass, Draco Malfoy, and Alyssa Nott were taking lessons there also.

Just then, Severus and Malissa were walking up the path, past the pool, and through the sitting area. He turned to Malissa, "How long will I have this tail?"

"Well, Severus, you see....it lasts for a week."

"A week?! Is there a counter curse???"

"Well, yeah...but they never told-" Malissa smiled when she saw Hermione Granger standing there.

"What?" He frowned. "Oh no..Miss Granger, not a word of this is to be breathed to a soul..."

She smiled. "Yes sir, Professor. Oh! And, my last name isn't Granger."

"Oh, it isn't?"

Clairese looked over to Severus. "No, Severus, Hermione has moved out of the house of the Grangers. She received the true information. We have standing here...a true Quintillion Royal. She is the princess. And she lives with her mother and father, and 5 siblings now. Am I correct?"

"Yes, Professor Wolffang, I mean, Professes Snape it is in fact true. My mother, well, I am exactly like her, except one thing. I mean, other than I am going to remain Granger at school, I do not fit in with the Gryffindors any longer, I am not one of them, Professor Dumbledore sent me an owl, and he said that I may find myself not wanting to hang out with them any longer, after the summer is over. And I find it true. I mean, I am a Gryffindor, but I can't fit in any longer with them, I am different. Seriously. In fact, Mrs. Granger, she is my mother's sister, and I come from a long line of Ravenclaws..."

"Is that so...I remember going to school with a Quintillion, I believe his name was Lionel James Quintillion....he married Rebecca Leighonne Riddle. Which is..." He turned. "Mortania's Great aunt, and they had a few children."

"Nice Sev, real nice."

He turned. "Never...."

"Never call you Sev, yes sir Severus." Malissa ran up the stairs.

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Well, at least Malissa killed 3 birds with one stone. But who would be the fortunate soul to pull the next ones? And when??? Review, and elect one of the following..

Mortania: Daughter of Voldemort, Sorceress, Twin of Malissa, Arch enemy of Ron Weasley, Girlfriend of Draco Malfoy

Clairese: Wife of Snape, mother of a lot, DADA professor..

Elania: Spanish transfer, with crush on Snape, her mother had a thing for Snape herself

Hermione: Student, Gryffindor, Intolerable Know-it-all, teacher's pet..

Draco: Star student, Deatheaters son, dating Voldemorts daughter, evil...and a ferret..

Samantha: 3rd oldest child, going to 6th yr

Sheridan: 2nd oldest Snape (will tell you later who's the oldest), 6th year, has Lily Potter's hair, and Sev's eyes, and she's been * ahem * caught with her boyfriend, on heck of a temper..hangs with Fred and George...

The School Year: All Slytherin Girls: Sly, Sneaky, Slytherins..

The School Year: All Slytherin Guys: Same as Girls....

Cassia: McGonagall's granddaughter, has Slytherin Attributes, shoulda been in Slytherin....

Devin: Trelawny's Nephew, is a prankster, and a wannabe gangster

Minerva: Transfiguration Professor, Strict.(or so we think)

Albus: Trusting..* wink wink *, funny, a jokster, a senior to Sev...eh?

Moony: Heh heh enough said

Meagan: Sinister's daughter, a Gryffindor with nerve, and she acts like a Sly sometimes...

Or...give me info on your own character, and I will pick some to use...I'll need name, age, year, house, and some characteristics, and what they look like..etc....FLAMES USED TO MAKE MARSHMELLOWS..