Chapter 2--Everyone's favorite couples...

(As usual, the chapter begins with a monologue from Wraith-chan. This time he is armed with a myriad of photographs.)
Wraith-chan:Oh, someone actually decided to read chapter two. Well, then, on the remote possibility that said reader is not a rabid yaoi fan, allow me to further explain the strange world of yaoi to an outsider such as yourself.
Wraith-chan:Where to begin...Aah! The pairing procedure for male characters. While this may seem completely random to any observant male, there are qualifications for the possibility of yaoi coupledom. These may include, but are not limited to:
1:The characters are friends.
2:The characters are enemies.
3:The characters have complimentary hair colors.
4:Female readers like both characters.
Wraith-chan:So, as we can see, there is a distinct pattern of dischord throughout every choice in a yaoi coupling. But, by and large, the most important of these is the dominator/subservient relationship.
Wraith-chan:You see, the girls that are addicted to this material need a sense of definition of roles in a yaoi relationship. One must be domineering, strong and powerful, while the other must be willing to cater to every whim. This is likely one of the reasons yaoi is so popular among otaku females: By completing both halves of the emotional puzzle, the females feel at ease with their yaoi couples. The second, more commonly accepted explanation is a chemical imbalance in the brain caused by the lack of a Y chromosome. Sadly, this affliction has taken hold of over half the world's population. There is, unfortunately, no cure in sight, so all we can do is pray.
Thank you.
(The bunny quickly hops off)

Brian pulled his goggles over his eyes and toggled one of many tiny switches on the side. A holographic image filled the goggles, one of the woman he's searching for. Long, blue hair. Though it's common now, back when she built herself it was pretty rare. Brian stared at the image thoughtfully, then turned it off and slipped his goggles back to his forehead, where they usually rested. He tried to think of where she might be. She had to be somewhere on the planet, but where? The mental link he had with her was strong, but now it was faded. She was somewhere far away, or somehow terribly distracted. Could her thoughts be consumed with her own search for Brian?

For a desert planet, the air felt strangely humid. There must've been a lot of water in the area, but Brian didn't remember a geo plant being anywhere near. Still, it felt good, and it's the closest thing to a shower you can get while wandering. He decided to spring for the real deal when he found the next town. As moist as the air was, it couldn't be far. Looking over the next hill, Brian saw something that he couldn't belive.

A small town located in a basin had flooded. Brian could remember when this was commonplace, but here it seemed simply strange. Most small towns simply didn't have this much water, so either some had sprung up, or someone was hoarding it for something. Doubting the first option, he approached the rim of the bowl, which was surrounded by civillians. Many had recently arrived by bus; still others were arriving slowly to discover their town's fate. One woman, with blonde hair and a red jumpsuit, was wearing a star-shaped badge and appeared to have a captive. She seemed as good a bet as any.

(Brian parks his bike and walks up to the woman)
Brian:Excuse me, maam, but what's happened here?
Woman:Oh, you don't look like any of the citizens. Who are you?
Brian:Brian Lance. I'm a wanderer. You?
Woman:Marianne Aura Cazyen. I'm a federal marshal.
Brian:Alright, miss Cazyen. And the prisoner?
Marianne:Cliff Schezar, a water hoarder.
Cliff:That water rightfully belongs to me, and all the men of the world!
(Marianne kicks him, and he silences)
Marianne:A man saved us from Mr. Schezar's tyranny, but the water tanks burst.
Brian:That's bad..
Marianne:No, it's fine. The water will eventually return underground, and we will all prosper again.
Brian:Err..that's not exactly how it works.
Marianne:What do you mean?
Brian:The water's gonna evaporate. With that kind of surface area, that's obvious. And what does seep back into the ground won't be worth drinking for years.
Marianne:Oh. Shit.
Brian:Not only that, you're gonna have rain.
Marianne:What's that?
Brian:Something that will freak out the townspeople. Water falls from the sky.
Marianne:Does that have anything to do with those white things in the air?
Brian:Yes. That's where the water falls from.
Marianne:Regardless, I guess now something has to be done!
Brian:Don't worry, I've got it under control.
(Brian walks away and stops by the edge, looking into the water. He shivers. Water has never been kind to him.)
Brian:What we need is to find the tanks, patch them up, and get the water back in.(He looks around) I guess "we" is "me".
(He digs through his coat, and pulls out a mouth-and-nose-covering mask. He looks back at the water, and prepares himself to jump in just as Marianne comes up behind him to stop him)
Marianne:Are you insane? What are you doing?
Brian:It's quite obvious, I'm going in.
Marianne:Wait, isn't that dangerous? I mean, you can't breathe when you drink water, and you go under it when you step in it. Won't that be like choking or something?
Brian:Don't worry. I'll be fine.
(Brian puts the mask on and jumps off the side. Instead of having to dive, he simply sinks to the bottom. After exploring around for a while, he finds a hole in the ground, a few feet across, leading to the underground tanks. After examining them for a minute, he has a realization)
Brian:Wait a minute!
(The mask flutters off his mouth and he sucks in a pint of water. He desperately grabs for the mask, but it begins to float up to the top. Feeling himself run out of air, he pounds on the side of his coat. An air bubble forms, and Brian gasps in the oxygen before it rushes to the surface. He grabs his breathmask and resumes his observations)
Brian:These tanks are all underground. How the hell did there manage to be enough water to flood the complex, re-flood the tanks, and then flood the town? I guess some of my special talents are nessecary...
(Back above, Marianne looks with concern at the spot where Brian jumped in)
Marianne:Oh, dear, I hope he's okay.
(Other townspeople begin to clamor excitedly)
Woman:Hey, the water's draining quickly now!
(Looking at the moistened sides of the wall, it's true! The water is quickly draining out of the town, and in the base stands a soaked man in a white trenchcoat. He waves at the people around the edge)
Marianne:He...he did it!
(The people cheer)
(Meanwhile, brian is standing in the middle of the town, smiling as he waves. No one sees his smile quickly melt from his face as he detects the aura of death around him. More specifically, in one building--a restaurant. He dashes inside to see a man sitting on a stool, helping himself to the soaked food)
Brian:Alright. First, that's disgusting.
Man:What? It's still food!
Brian:Yes, but..you could like dry it or something. Second, who are you, why do you have some bad juju, and how did you get down here so fast?
Man:You're Brian Lance.
Brian:Did I ask who I was? No, I asked who you were.
Man:My name...is Legato.
Brian:And you're here because...
Legato:I'm following a man.
Brian:Who?
Legato:Why, the man who caused all the destruction here. Vash the Stampede.
Brian:The man with the gigantic bounty? He wasn't even reported in the area.
Legato:Hmmph. I have my sources.
Brian:Well, if you're trailing him, why are you stopping here?
Legato:The master could use your help.
Brian:What, tracking down Vash the Stampede? I don't bounty hunt.
Legato:But my master has some information you might find useful...a missing girl?
Brian:(his eyes widen)W..what? How could he know about her?
Legato:Because he's the same thing as her.
Brian:I see..so, why does he want this man captured?
(Legato slightly grins as he takes a bite from his sandwich)
Legato:He only wants...what's best for the world.
Brian:Fine, then. I'll help you find him.
(Legato pulls out a box of coin-halves)
Legato:Um...damn, i'm out of coins.
Brian:Err, I have some old coins, if you need one.
(He flips legato an american quarter, which legato breaks in half. Legato puts one half in the box, and hods out the other one)
Legato:Then I dub...wait, what weapon do you use?
Brian:Um...A pair of heavy machine guns.
Legato:You use real guns? Wow. No one else in the group uses an actual gun for their main attack. Fine then, I dub you, "Brian the Actual Guns". Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more business with the master to attend to.
(Legato slowly walks off, after grabbing a soaked box of twinkies. Brian stands in amazement as the townspeople slowly begin to refill the town.)
Brian:I...do not...get this.