TITLE: "Average
Joe" Part 4
AUTHOR: Elise D.
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.
SUMMARY: Season Seven, Spike heads to L.A. to visit some old friends. This
chapter is just a brief interlude with Buffy. Back to Good ole Sunnydale we go!
SPOILERS: Spoiler free, do I get a cookie? Zero spoilers for Ats. In fact,
as far as I'm concerned, that wacky stuff ain't even happening. So the
details are so vague, they're almost new.
RATING: PG-13.
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples.
NOTES: Thanks for all the great feedback, everyone! I came home after a weekend
away, and I've still got an awful lot of mail to catch up on. Ya'll made me
smile on a Monday morning.
They were in the home stretch now, and the nervousness was beginning to show. Spike risked a peek through the rear-view, and caught a glimpse of Angel glaring at the blonde vampire's non-existent reflection. Oh, goody. Faith was nervously tapping on her thigh, like some kind of Morse code to the Powers That Be. Get me out of this mess. Stop. Cordelia just let out an occasional sigh as she watched the world pass her by, her forehead leaning against the glass as if she might miraculously pop through the pain and back to freedom. Great bunch of bloody heaven-sent champions, they were.
"Faith, stop that, it's irritating."
"Well, stop brooding. I need something to distract me from your moody ass."
"Oh guys, will you just be quiet."
"Oh right, Little Miss Queen of Sighs."
"Faith, don't be so rude to Cordelia, she's right."
"Oh, back her up, why don't you. You know it's bugging you too."
"Don't try defending me, Angel. I don't need your help against that skank."
"Hey! Who are you calling a skank, you…?"
"SHUT UP! I swear to God, I will turn this car around right now, and you can all ride with Wes, if you're going to keep this up. Sweet, buggaring Jesus, be bloody quiet!" cried Spike. Christ, it was like car-pooling a bunch of kids around. Warriors for the Powers that Be? He feared for the world's safety, he really did.
"Are we there yet?" asked Faith with a huff, as she folded her arms over her chest.
"Are you trying to wind me up?"
"Dude, seriously, how much longer? I need to pee like…"
"Soon, alright? Just stick a cork in it, and let me concentrate on the road."
Angel snorted. Oh right, of course he wouldn't let that one slide. Well, two could play at that game, thought Spike.
"Something funny there, peaches?" he asked, as he swiveled around in the chair to face the elder vampire.
"The road…eyes on the road…turn around…the road," babbled Angel, his frantic eyes flitting between Spike and the view through the windshield.
"Oh, don't get your knickers in a knot," sighed Spike as he returned to the more acceptable forward position. "I hate nothing more than backseat drivers. Stop nagging me like my bloody mother, and there'll be no need for upset. Okay?" He asked, while Cordelia bit her lip to prevent the giggles she was suppressing.
God, this was going to be the longest six miles of his life.
"Spike? Why the hell are we driving down Main? It would have been much quicker if we'd headed onto Birchmount and swung right onto Revello," asked Angel, craning his neck to see what their destination could possibly be.
"Tradition, Granddad. I'm not letting you ruin a perfectly good routine, just because of your morals and annoying enthusiasm to see Bu…The Slayer. Won't take but a minute," Spike assured, before aiming right for the latest Welcome to Sunnydale Sign.
"Spike? Um, Spike? You might wanna turn…"
Smack! Goodbye perky bloody greeting. Hello Hellmouth, and untold horrors.
"Or not," muttered Angel, squeezing himself as far into the corner of the backseat as possible.
Spike just snickered and turned onto Revello Drive. It's show time.
Spike stayed rooted in the drivers seat, as each of the arrivals was greeted, and Angel and Cordelia bickered over who was carrying what. Thank God it was over. If he was lucky, he could sneak off for a drink or twelve and kip down with Clem for the night.
The sound of the passenger door opening surprised Spike slightly, but not as much as the sight of Buffy climbing in to sit next to him.
"You're back, and in one piece," she observed.
"Well yeah. Told you it wasn't going to be a big deal or anything. Could use a bloody break though. Think I'm gonna head out for the night. I'll keep my eyes peeled for anything shady lookin'"
Buffy raised her eyebrows slightly at Spike's brush off.
"No big deal? Wow. That's surprising, especially considering the tale Wes just told me. I guess he just embellished a bit, huh? Watcher's prerogative and all, making mountains out of molehills."
"Yeah, that'll be it," agreed Spike, nervously shifting in his seat.
"Oh, whatever," said Buffy with a snort. "So you didn't almost get staked by Angel? Or this miracle child of his?"
"Oh, you heard about him, did you? You're taking it surprisingly well, I've got to say."
"Eh, Hellmouth immunity I guess," she replied with a shrug. "I'm surprised I didn't freak a little more, myself. Vampires having kids: it's just weird, but no doubt prophesied somewhere. I'm already over it."
"Even though you've learnt that it's possible for vampire's to reproduce, albeit under extreme circumstances?" Spike asked, turning in his seat to face her.
Buffy looked at him for a second, searching his face for any signs of fear or worry. Not a thing. Cool as a cucumber as usual. Damn him.
"Well, I think the timeline indicates I'm pretty safe, if that's what you're worrying," she said with a smile.
"Actually, no," replied Spike, as his eyes dropped briefly to Buffy's ever-flat stomach. "Not that at all. I was more worried what you thought about the fact it could have been you, not Darla, making babies with the Grand Wanker."
Buffy frowned, and Spike shifted uncomfortably. Three whole minutes before he screwed up, dammit.
"Ugh, making worldly-important babies with my ex-boyfriend? The one I sent to hell that time? No thanks. I'm having enough trouble raising Dawn, Connor acts like he'd just send me right over the edge. I consider myself very lucky, actually," she said. And she was smiling again. What the hell?
"Buffy?" Spike asked, cautiously.
"Yup?"
Spike stared at the face of the woman he loved. Nope, not the bot.
"Nothing, I'm just feeling a little…"
"Discombobulated? Yeah, Angel can do that to ya, although I guess you already knew that."
"Are you feeling alright, Slayer? You're acting weird, yanno?"
"Oh," she said, as her face fell and the frown returned. "Is that a bad thing?
"No, no, that's not what I meant," he rushed out. "S'just, I'm not used to it being directed at me, is all. It's nice…to see you happy."
"I am," she said with a nod of her head. "Got a great team inside, who'll figure out this First thing, and keep the world safe. I've got a houseful of people I love, and a bunch of Slayerettes I'm really trying not to kill. All in all? I'm pretty damn happy. I just thought you'd be happy too."
"Oh, I am, don't worry. Just a little on edge is all. Things aren't over yet. Big threat still looming, and Angel inside waiting for me to slip up and give him an excuse to end my unlife. Kinda nervous about the next few days."
"Yeah, me too. Why do you think I'm out here? Thirty seconds, he's through the door. Thirty seconds, and he's already looking at me with nothing but disappointment," sighed Buffy, as she began absently playing with the edge of the door.
"Why? I haven't told him anything about…anything, really. Can't see why he's ticked off with you."
"Oh, that's his standard look for me, these days," she said with a dismissing wave of her hand. "Poor Buffy, not getting that normal life I sacrificed everything for. It's getting so damn old. He needs to loosen up. God, I can't believe I'm saying that."
"Well, if the vibe I'm getting is right, the cheerleader is trying damn hard to help him get over it," he said with a smirk.
"Cordy? Oh God, that's too rich!" she said with a giggle. "I'm sure she'll wear him down. Still won't stop the looks he's giving me, though. I swear…if he only knew how far from normal my life is…"
"He's stake me?" supplied Spike with a smile.
"Yep, and Willow for bringing me back, and Xander for letting it happen, and Giles for going to England. Everyone but himself."
"You're not normal, Slayer."
"Well, thanks bunches, Spike! That's so sweet," Buffy said with a mock scowl.
"S'not what I meant, and you know it. You're not normal, your life isn't normal, and the prat should have known that, and never left."
"Nah," she said, leaning back into the seat. "It would never have worked. One of those "wasn't meant to be" deals. It's better this way."
They sat in silence for a while. Comfortable silence, Spike noted. One for the books, he was sure. But she wasn't leaving, and he wanted to. What to do, what to do?
"So, everything cozy with Faith then?"
Buffy's eyes narrowed. Bingo. He thought there still might be some tension left between them. Get her pissed, get her gone, he thought. Suffer the consequences later, after some liquid courage.
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" she asked, causing Spike to launch into a blustered routine of hand mimes.
"What? No! Perfectly innocent question, just wanted to know where the land lay with you. Don't want to be getting caught in the middle of a Slayer war. Can't imagine it's good for a bloke's health, yeah?"
Buffy shook her head and laughed.
"No, I doubt it would be. But me and Faith are cool. As cool as we can be, I mean. We'll be fine to get between, honest. Not that you'd be getting between us much, there'll be distance between us."
"Well, good. It's good to know. That's…"
"Good?" asked Buffy with a smirk of her own. "So. Where are we going?" she asked.
"I'm going out, you're going back inside to play musical bloody bedrooms again, and help get everyone back to speed. So, come on now. Off with you."
"Fine," Buffy sighed, as she opened the door and began to climb out. Spike waited for the slam, but instead found Buffy leaning down, simply looking at him.
"What?" he asked.
"Oh, nothing. Just glad you're back is all," she said with a quick smile, before she slammed the door and marched back into Slayer headquarters.
"Glad to be back, Buffy. Glad to be back," Spike muttered, before he pulled away.
