Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to my very first fanfic. If enough people r/r this won't be my only one. Basically it's an MGS2 spoof. I just replace some of the characters with others that you might know and take some liberties with the story. Our scene begins in the Tanker Chapter, but if I get enough positive reviews to keep going, I should make a Plant Chapter.

Disclaimer: Do I really need a disclaimer? So assuming there's some asshole out there who will try and sue me, I don't own any metal gear solid characters, and I'm sure the real people featured in this story own themselves as well. There, I said it. I felt stupid saying it, but I did it anyway.

Chapter 1

The camera pans around the Manhatten bridge showing the many cars and street lights in the middle of a heavy down-poor of rain. We see a large figure in a rain coat with a cigarrette in its mouth. The camera pans around to reveal the face of the figure. From what we can see, the person is fat, a woman, and has brown hair. Rosanne perhaps? Suddenly the rain coat pops off because of her size. It's Rosie O'donnell! Startled by the absence of the rain coat, and the fact that her cover's been blown, she starts running. She then activates the stealth camo but it doesn't cover her whole body. Onlookers are surprised to see a giant bouncing stomach on two little feet running towards the side of the bridge. Rosie jumps off and we can just make out a bungee cord behind her. But when the bungee cord looses it's slack, her girth causes it to snap. She falls down on the tanker. Slowly, casually, she gets up, looks around to make sure no one saw what just happened. The words Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty appear on top of the screen.

(codec beeps)

Rosie: This is French Fry. I'm at the sneak point.

Otacon: Good work French Fry. What's the situation?

Rosie: Hmm. . . Stealth camo's no good. You didn't tell they made stealth camo sized for midgets.

Otacon: That was the biggest pair we had.

Rosie: And that bungee cord. . . you would think it was made of dental floss.

Otacon: Listen French Fry, we've got little time left. Get down to the holds of the tanker, and locate the new metal gear prototype.

Rosie: Okay. French Fry, out.

Rosie peeks her head up above the box she's hiding behind and spots the marines disguised as civilians onboard.

Suddenly, a chopper flies overhead and we can see several men dressed in battle gear descend from the chopper's rope ladder.

The men cut the marines throats with their combat knives and take over the ship.

(codec beeps)

Rosie: Otacon! There are men on this ship! They've taken it over!

Otacon: Calm down, French Fry. We need to get an ID. What are their gear?

Rosie: I see Russian gear. An AKS-74u, a Makarov handgun, pineapple grenades, And. . .

(Rosie pauses)

Otacon: What is it?

Rosie:(drool dropping down her mouth). . . Rations.

Otacon: Would you cut that out! That just means that you have to work quicker, but don't get careless. I'll bet these guys will shoot to kill.

(codec goes offline)

Minutes later Rosie has infiltrated the tanker and is in the Deck-A crew's lounge reading one of the magazines chuckling in between sips of alcohol she got from the shelf behind the bar. She's sitting on the two patroling soldiers. Each have stars circling their heads.

(codec beeps)

Otacon: French Fry what are you doing?

Rosie: I got tired and decided to read a magazine.

Otacon: French Fry the safety of the world rests in your hands and you're reading a magazine.

Rosie: Not just any magazine, FHM.

Otacon: Listen you tub of lard! Get down there as quick as you can.

(codec goes offline)

Rosie(talking to herself): Well I guess I'd better get down there and save the world or something.

MEANWHILE. . .

The camera shows a dark room where a misteryous figure is talking to the terrorists. It's Revolver Ocelot

Terrorist: Sir we've managed to take over the ship without the marines catching on.

Ocelot: Good. We're right on time.

And so our story unfolds, as special agent French Fry has to infiltrate the ship now overrun by terrorists. Supposedly housing a new type of metal gear.