Disclaimer: see part 1 for disclaimer

Part 2
Why do we love?
By Random1377

Rei lay on her bed, unmoving... the picture of utmost calm. Closer inspection however would reveal that her thoughts were anything but. Her eyes kept shifting from the ceiling to the door, as if she expected a visitor any minute.

-Where is he?- she thought, coming as close to aggravation as she ever did, -I must speak with him...-

It had been two days since she had kissed Asuka, and subsequently run away. She still was unsure of what had caused this reaction in her, and she intended to find out. She had not gone to school that day or the day prior, afraid of what she might see in Asuka's eyes. This had prompted a call from Shinji, wondering if she was ok. She said that she was fine, then inspiration struck her, 'Ikari... I need to speak with you. Will you come see me after school?'

'Yeah...' he had said, sounding nervous, 'what do you want to talk about?'

She had merely repeated her request, and hung up the phone. Now it was well past the end of school, and she was growing vaguely frustrated, "Ikari... he will know." She said to herself quietly. Why she thought the boy might have an answer to her problem, she did not know... but she was sure he would.

Finally there was a soft knock on her door, "Come in," she said, rising to her feat.

"Ayanami? You wanted to see me?" Shinji came into the apartment cautiously. He had not been to her building since before Touji was injured.

Rei wasted no time, "Yes. Ikari, what do you know of relationships?"

"R-relationships?" he stuttered, "I... huh?"

She motioned for him to come into the apartment and pointed at the lone chair, "Yes," she said as he sat down and let his school bag drop to the floor, "relationships between women and..." she paused, "men." She finished awkwardly.

Shinji looked nervous, "Umm... I... not much, I'm afraid..." he admitted. He gave a short, edgy laugh, "It's a pretty broad question, Ayanami... is there something specific?"

She considered him carefully, "How does a person know if they like another person enough to start a relationship?" she asked.

He looked at the floor, "If you are asking me if I want to-"

"I am not asking you to be in a relationship with me, Ikari..." she cut him off quickly.

Oddly, it seemed to relieve the boy, "Oh... ok. Umm... I would guess that you feel that its ok inside, then you ask the other person if they would be willing to, and then... I..." he broke off, "I guess I really don't know..."

Rei frowned, -This is of no help...- she thought with some irritation. "Very well," she said, moving on, "How do you know if you love someone?"

He froze, "I... don't know..." he looked uncomfortable.

She waited for a moment, then pressed, "Who do you love, Ikari?"

He got to his feet, "I... have to go..." he was flushed a bright red.

As he got to the door Rei said, "Ikari... if you will not tell me the one you love, at least tell me why you love?"

His voice was small, "I... love more than one person, Rei... to explain why I love them would be... difficult... because I don't know if they love me..."

She stepped closer, "Your statement makes no sense, Ikari... I asked why you love them... not why they love you. Love may be unrequited, correct?"

"Yes..." he whispered, refusing to look at her, "it can..."

He began to walk out the door, but she laid a hand on his arm, noting how he tensed, "Ikari... please. Why do you love if you know you are not loved in return?"

"I... don't know Rei..." he sighed, "maybe deep down I hope that they will see that I love them, and love me back..." he turned to her, a sad smile on his face, "but I don't think that will ever happen, so I go to school... and I pilot EVA... and I hope." He gently broke away and walked out the door, leaving her to ponder his words.

**

Asuka rose quietly from her bed, unable to sleep. Shinji had come home several hours before, looking like someone had killed his dog and gone straight to his room, not saying a word to either her or Misato.

"I like boys..." she whispered for possibly the thousandth time that night as she paced the length of her room. The truth of the statement did not make her feel any better, however, as the image of Rei's face, still stunned and blushing from kissing her cheeck, filled her vision.

"Verdammung!" she cried in frustration, "What is the matter with me?? I shouldn't be thinking of her, I should be thinking of Kaji, or even moron-boy in the next room over, but not a girl! Let alone HER! AAARGGGHHHH!!!!"

There was a knock on her door, "Asuka? Are you ok? I heard yelling..." she heard Misato pause, then giggle, "or is Shinji in there with you?"

Asuka clapped her hands to the sides of her head, "This can't be happening..." she muttered, "I need advice and all I have to work with is Der Uber-drunk outside..." She sighed deeply and walked to the door, opening it to allow a very inebriated Misato into her room.

Misato, who had been leaning against the door, stumbled into the room. Asuka, who KNEW that Misato would be leaning on the door, stepped to the side and linked her arm through her guardian's, stopping her from falling flat on her face, -I'm glad she's happy I'm ok, but two days of drinking?- She sighed, -She won't do me any good unconscious...- she apprised Misato's wide smile and flushed face, -of course... she may not do me too much good this way either...-

Hoping that the woman would remember nothing the next day, Asuka went straight to the point, "Misato, have you ever kissed another woman?"

Misato stared at Asuka for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Why, are you making a pass at me, Second Child?" she said in a low, seductive voice (at least, low for her... so she was practically yelling it).

"Dammit Misato! I'm serious!" she released her arm, letting her fall finally to the floor.

The major hit the floor with a satisfying thump (well, satisfying for Asuka, not for Misato). "Oww..." she said, rubbing her backside awkwardly, "I was just kidding, Asuka..." she looked up at her with slightly unfocussed eyes, "Yeah, I kissed some girls in college... I didn't like it, too soft." She smiled and hiccupped, "I like a man's strength and I love stubble," she giggled, "Like..." she seemed to sober slightly, "like Kaji."

She rose to her feet and put her hand to her head, her buzz suddenly gone, "Why are you asking me this, Asuka?" she said, her voice now tired, "You know how I felt-FEEL about Kaji..."

Asuka frowned at the comment, but let it slide, -she really IS tanked.- "Never mind, you're too drunk to help me." She started leading the woman from her room.

"No, wait..." Misato dug in her heels as they reached the door, shaking her head to clear it, "really, Asuka... why do you want to know?"

Asuka tensed, -What was I thinking, calling her in here... I can't TELL her!- "I... want to know how you knew you loved Kaji instead of a woman...- she cringed involuntarily, -Why did I say that??-

"Why do I love...?" Misato whispered, staring at the floor, "the way I feel about Kaji... I just never got that from being with another woman." Her voice grew distant, "When he held me close, I felt like I was safe... like nothing could hurt me..." she didn't notice Asuka putting her hand over her mouth as she put her finger exactly on the feeling she had had in Rei's embrace.

Misato looked at Asuka, her eyes still unfocussed, "I... slept with a woman... once..." she said, blushing at the confession, "she was... very gentle." She shook her head, "Too gentle, I guess... I liked the feeling of a man too much." A single tear ran down her cheek, "Afterwards I was... very mean to her."

She embraced Asuka drunkenly, much to the young girl's dismay, "Asuka... promise me you won't make the same mistakes I did," she cried, "don't be mean to someone that tries to be nice to you... at least tell them no nicely..." her voice dropped low, "don't crush someone else because you're ashamed..."

Asuka pushed her away firmly, "Misato, go to bed... you're drunk." She said sternly, "I didn't need to hear about your sex life! GOD!"

Misato nodded, "Sorry...I... sorry..." she stumbled out of Asuka's room to her own and fell asleep, thinking as she drifted off of the girl she had coldly rejected after she had pursued her so hard. -I... just wanted to know... what it was like...- she told herself, -I never... meant for her to love me...- as she finally crossed the boundary into sleep, she knew that what she had done was wrong... and she was thankful the next day that she did not dream of her.

After Misato had gone, Asuka sat back down on her bed with a sigh, "Safe..." she said quietly, raising her hand to her cheek unconsciously. -I should have known better than to have asked her, the sex fiend, about this...-

"This is stupid!" she whispered fiercely. She opened her door quietly, listening for Misato's snores, then walked with a determined air towards Shinji's room...

Continued...

Author's notes: Yes, I know... Misato was on a strict coffee diet by this episode... but I figured she might use Asuka being rescued as a good excuse to fall off the wagon. Besides, they never say she has given up drinking ENTIRELY - hell, they never even SAY she's given it up at all, they just show her drinking coffee.

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