* After some time, Raiden infiltrates the shell 1 core, comes out and
destroys the semtex detonator units on the connecting bridge. But as he's
walking across the bridge, he gets a codec call. *
(codec beeps)
Bobalina: Raiden. We've managed to get the Kasatka. We can now rescue some hostages. We could have had a harrier, but Fat Bastard destroyed it when he was jumping up and down on it shouting "I'm dead sexy!" I'm coming over to where you are right now.
Voice in the background: Almost ready for take off!
Raiden: Who was that!?
Bobalina: That was the gear-head I was telling you about. Raiden, let me introduce you to my partner, Otacon.
* Suddenly Martha Stewart's face appears on the codec screen. *
Raiden: Otacon!?
Martha Stewart: Nice to meet you Raiden.
* Suddenly Martha/Otacon looks away from the codec screen with a concerned look on her face. *
Martha: French Fry, we've got trouble.
(codec goes offline)
* Raiden then contacts colonel *
Raiden: Colonel! I need some answers from you. Who exactly is this Bobalina and her partner?
Colonel: I have no idea.
Raiden: Colonel. What are you keeping from me?
(codec goes offline)
* after a short wait, Raiden sees the Kasatka fly over head. Bobalina gives him a wave, and they circle back around. Suddenly, Raiden notices a round, dark figure over in the corner. He turns to see someone who looks very much like Bobalina. *
Person: I've been waiting for you Jack. . . . Where do I know him from?
Raiden: Who are you?
Person: Glad you asked. I am the one, the only, French Fry!
Bobalina: No! That is not French Fry!
* As Bobalina hangs out of the chopper. The sudden inbalance of the weight causes the chopper to almost tip over. *
Martha: French Fry! Stop moving.
Person: Glad you could join the party. Fry.
Raiden: Fry?
* The chopper lowers a little. French Fry/Bobalina hangs out pointing an M4 at the imposter. This is one instance where she feels the need to use a gun. She then shoots at the imposter but the bullets bounce of her blubbery stomach. *
Bobalina: Damn!
* She then loads a grenade in the under barrol M203 grenade launcher and shoots it at the imposter knocking her of the connecting bridge. But after a short wait, a crane arm rises up hoisting the hefty Rosie O'donell look- alike. The crane arm swings it's heavy load around. Raiden jumps out of the way as the heavy "wrecking ball" crashes it's way through the connecting bridge. *
Imposter: Now I'm gonna make you pay!
* Raiden pulls out his M4 and shoots the thick crane cable that's holding up the Rosie O'donell look-alike. She falls down to the water but suddenly the metal gear from the tanker chapter(which is now designated metal gear Roy by the way) which looks like a giant vending machine comes out of the water. The imposter falls through the grab slot and the metal gear dissapears. *
(codec beeps)
Rosie: Raiden. Great work.
Raiden: Listen, I've got one thing to ask you. Are you really French Fry?
Rosie: . . .
Raiden: French Fry! They said you were dead.
Rosie: No. Not me. I've still got too many things to do.
Raiden: French Fry, why go back to all this? Why keep fighting?
Rosie: Revenge mostly.
Raiden: Revenge?
Rosie: Yes, revenge. Would you quit repeating everything I say?
Raiden: Oh, sorry. Revenge for who?
Rosie: The Patriots!
Raiden: Who?
Rosie: After Otacon and I shot that K-mart commercial, the Patriots feared we would bring our foul influence on the minds of people everywhere.
Raiden: What foul influence?
Martha: Rosie. That is, French Fry has an obvious weight problem. The patriots were worried that an overabundance of fat people like her would cause a food shortage.
Raiden: How could one person cause a food shortage?
Martha: Well think about it. It's estimated that every day 148 billion pounds of food is made/processed, and there are eight billion people living in the world. Rosie eats about 450 lbs of various foods each day. At that rate, there could be a massive food shortage in less than a year if everyone ate as much. What's eight billion times 450?
Rosie: Otacon, this isn't second grade math.
Martha: . . .
Raiden: If they want to avoid world hunger, then why do you appose them?
Martha: Hello! They caused our K-MART ads to go off the air.
Raiden: Then I have one more question. Who was that person who claimed he was French Fry?
Rosie: That was the third clone of Big Bertha. Cheeseburger.
Raiden: Another clone?
Martha: Yeah. French Fry and Cheeseburger are exactly the same on the genetic level. In fact, Cheesburger could very well be the real Rosie O'donell. We're not sure.
Raiden: How do we tell them apart?
Martha: Well for one thing, French Fry usually wears a bandana. Also, you can usualy spot a ketchup stain on her shirt.
Raiden: One more thing. Why are all the clones of Big Bertha named after fast food? Who gave them their codenames?
Rosie: Huh? I gave myself my codename.
(codec beeps)
Bobalina: Raiden. We've managed to get the Kasatka. We can now rescue some hostages. We could have had a harrier, but Fat Bastard destroyed it when he was jumping up and down on it shouting "I'm dead sexy!" I'm coming over to where you are right now.
Voice in the background: Almost ready for take off!
Raiden: Who was that!?
Bobalina: That was the gear-head I was telling you about. Raiden, let me introduce you to my partner, Otacon.
* Suddenly Martha Stewart's face appears on the codec screen. *
Raiden: Otacon!?
Martha Stewart: Nice to meet you Raiden.
* Suddenly Martha/Otacon looks away from the codec screen with a concerned look on her face. *
Martha: French Fry, we've got trouble.
(codec goes offline)
* Raiden then contacts colonel *
Raiden: Colonel! I need some answers from you. Who exactly is this Bobalina and her partner?
Colonel: I have no idea.
Raiden: Colonel. What are you keeping from me?
(codec goes offline)
* after a short wait, Raiden sees the Kasatka fly over head. Bobalina gives him a wave, and they circle back around. Suddenly, Raiden notices a round, dark figure over in the corner. He turns to see someone who looks very much like Bobalina. *
Person: I've been waiting for you Jack. . . . Where do I know him from?
Raiden: Who are you?
Person: Glad you asked. I am the one, the only, French Fry!
Bobalina: No! That is not French Fry!
* As Bobalina hangs out of the chopper. The sudden inbalance of the weight causes the chopper to almost tip over. *
Martha: French Fry! Stop moving.
Person: Glad you could join the party. Fry.
Raiden: Fry?
* The chopper lowers a little. French Fry/Bobalina hangs out pointing an M4 at the imposter. This is one instance where she feels the need to use a gun. She then shoots at the imposter but the bullets bounce of her blubbery stomach. *
Bobalina: Damn!
* She then loads a grenade in the under barrol M203 grenade launcher and shoots it at the imposter knocking her of the connecting bridge. But after a short wait, a crane arm rises up hoisting the hefty Rosie O'donell look- alike. The crane arm swings it's heavy load around. Raiden jumps out of the way as the heavy "wrecking ball" crashes it's way through the connecting bridge. *
Imposter: Now I'm gonna make you pay!
* Raiden pulls out his M4 and shoots the thick crane cable that's holding up the Rosie O'donell look-alike. She falls down to the water but suddenly the metal gear from the tanker chapter(which is now designated metal gear Roy by the way) which looks like a giant vending machine comes out of the water. The imposter falls through the grab slot and the metal gear dissapears. *
(codec beeps)
Rosie: Raiden. Great work.
Raiden: Listen, I've got one thing to ask you. Are you really French Fry?
Rosie: . . .
Raiden: French Fry! They said you were dead.
Rosie: No. Not me. I've still got too many things to do.
Raiden: French Fry, why go back to all this? Why keep fighting?
Rosie: Revenge mostly.
Raiden: Revenge?
Rosie: Yes, revenge. Would you quit repeating everything I say?
Raiden: Oh, sorry. Revenge for who?
Rosie: The Patriots!
Raiden: Who?
Rosie: After Otacon and I shot that K-mart commercial, the Patriots feared we would bring our foul influence on the minds of people everywhere.
Raiden: What foul influence?
Martha: Rosie. That is, French Fry has an obvious weight problem. The patriots were worried that an overabundance of fat people like her would cause a food shortage.
Raiden: How could one person cause a food shortage?
Martha: Well think about it. It's estimated that every day 148 billion pounds of food is made/processed, and there are eight billion people living in the world. Rosie eats about 450 lbs of various foods each day. At that rate, there could be a massive food shortage in less than a year if everyone ate as much. What's eight billion times 450?
Rosie: Otacon, this isn't second grade math.
Martha: . . .
Raiden: If they want to avoid world hunger, then why do you appose them?
Martha: Hello! They caused our K-MART ads to go off the air.
Raiden: Then I have one more question. Who was that person who claimed he was French Fry?
Rosie: That was the third clone of Big Bertha. Cheeseburger.
Raiden: Another clone?
Martha: Yeah. French Fry and Cheeseburger are exactly the same on the genetic level. In fact, Cheesburger could very well be the real Rosie O'donell. We're not sure.
Raiden: How do we tell them apart?
Martha: Well for one thing, French Fry usually wears a bandana. Also, you can usualy spot a ketchup stain on her shirt.
Raiden: One more thing. Why are all the clones of Big Bertha named after fast food? Who gave them their codenames?
Rosie: Huh? I gave myself my codename.
