* The scene unfolds in a large room in one of the struts where the masterminds and some other no good terrorist people have met to celebrate the genious of their evil scheme. There are tables with food and punch, and lots of people wearing nice clothes standing around below a stage. Up on stage talking right now is Revolver Ocelot. *

Ocelot: Tonight we will finish construction of the metal gear you've all heard so much about. I invite all of you to celebrate our evil scheme tonight. So I'm gonna turn the stage over to Johnny Sasaki, the mastermind behind metal gear John, and and his band, "The Cursed Laxatives"

* Croud applauds *

Johnny(stepping on stage): Thank you! I'd just like to thank Ocelot for discovering my singing talents that one time when we were discussing our evil plan in one of this shell's restrooms.

* Ocelot blushes *

Johnny: And before I begin I'd just like to tell you all a little about the song I'm gonna play tonight. It's sort of my version of "Last Resort" by Popa Roach. I made it up when I was having a bowell attack in a church years ago. I was trapped inside and had the most horrible crap. I felt like I was going to suffocate in there. And I could not get the door open. But I couldn't stop crapping either. Well, here it is.

* Johnny begins singing. *

Johnny: Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort.

* Jerod starts in on the drums and Oprah starts in on the bass. *



Suffocation, No breathing, Don't give a f*** if my ass starts bleeding!

* Suddenly, upon hearing the music, Cheeseburger pulls her head out of the punch bowl and runs out in the middle of the crowd ready to get her groove on. *

* The croud backs away from her as she swings her heavy arms and hips around and starts to break dance. When Ocelot starts in on the electric guitar and plays that funky guitar part, she begins to do tommy flares and head spins. *

Johnny: This is my last resort!

* Cheeseburger continues to spin. *

Johnny: Cut my life into pieces! I've reached my last resort, soffocation, no breathing. Don't give a f*** if my ass starts 'a bleeding. Do you even care if my ass is bleeding?

* Meanwhile, back at the asylum, Raiden, Martha, Rosie, and the other retards that inhabit the asylum are huddled together. Inside the huddle, we see many strange people. One is standing in a pool of his own drool, one of them is petting a cat that has obviously been dead for quite some time. He makes believe he's feeding the cat but when he shoves the strip of bacon in its mouth it just falls out and on to the floor. One seems content to sit by himself and sniff his own farts. And then there are two siamese twins. One of the twin has his head attached to the other's ass. *

Raiden(gesturing to the two guards who block the doorway): Alright guys, we need some of you to distract those guards. Tim(Raiden says motioning toward the guy with the dead cat), you make them think you're being attacked by your cat. Joe(Raiden says motioning towards the guy who drools a lot) when the guards come, you spit your vile acid spit in their eyes. The rest of us will crawl through the vents and try to escape.

Martha: But what about French Fry? She can't fit through the vents.

Raiden: Hmm. Never thought about it. I guess she'll have to stay behind and escape with the other two. French Fry, you'll just have to get the key after Joe spits in the guard's eyes.

Rosie: Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

Raiden: Alright guys. Let's do it!

TO BE CONTINUED