Chapter 14: Inside and Out

Seifer felt dizzy and couldn't see straight as Quistis sat up in bed next to him, the sheets clutched tightly to her chest. All he could think about was the dark timber of her voice when she asked him to undress, the delicious warmth of her chest pressed against his, and her fingers scraping against his scalp as she kissed him. Sweet Hyne. He rolled over a little, hoping to hide how much her stunt had turned him on.

"They have huge rooms filled with computers," she said.

"Computers, huh?" He feigned interest, more captivated by the wisps of hair that had escaped from her ponytail and were now framing her face. Her image swam before his eyes like sweet honey and he had to give himself a mental shake to get his thoughts back on track.

"Yeah. Rows and rows of them. There's more computers on this island than people," she continued. "New hardware, too. Not old stuff Esthar left behind. And then guess what I found."

He didn't want to guess.

More than that, he still wasn't thinking rationally enough to guess. And judging from the breathless way she was talking, he thought Quistis wasn't as unaffected as she was pretending to be either. He fumbled to process what it might mean. Obviously, what she'd done had been to keep them alive, to convince Abra that she'd been in their room all along after he came close to catching her — something he still hadn't gotten any details on. But why the hell would leaping naked on top of him be the first plan to come to her mind? Did she secretly want him? Being with Brecht, she was probably sex starved. And he was easily twice the man the instructor could ever hope to be. Maybe she'd just taken the chance and seized it.

Seifer's ego soared.

"I found specimens," she continued. "In jars. Dozens of them. Every monster you can think of, they have it. And they have the one from the jungle, too. They created it, Seifer. They genetically engineered it from other animals."

That got his attention. "These people? No way," he said, sitting up. "Where would they get that kind of technology?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. But if they created this thing, we've got to consider why. Think about it. Highly resistant to magic? It's like they designed it specifically to go up against SeeDs. And they want to keep us here. They're making Adrian sick just to keep us here."

"So they can test it against us," he said, completing her thought. "But we already killed one. Doesn't that prove it's not SeeD-proof?"

"A juvenile," she replied. "The one we fought wasn't a full grown adult."

"Shit."

He ran his hand through his hair, dull dread leaking into him. The fight with the monster had taken everything he had. It was fast and strong, and its skin had been so tough that it had taken all of his strength to drive Hyperion through it. They'd barely gotten out of the battle alive. And if Abra hadn't tended to Adrian's wounds, he certainly would have died from the poison. The idea that such a thing could be engineered was startling.

"We've got to figure out some way to get out of here and call for back-up," Quistis continued. "Once we explain the situation, I'm sure Cid will send someone. The last thing Garden wants is the Galbadians getting their hands on one these things and setting it loose in Dollet or Balamb."

She shifted, wrapped the sheets tighter around her body, and moved to get up. Quickly, Seifer reached out and held her back.

"Not yet," he said. He was in just his boxers. And Quistis, he suspected, was completely naked. "First, tell me what that was all about." He had to know.

She blushed and looked away. "Abra was coming to check on us. I'd left a door unlocked on accident, and someone told him to make sure we were behaving. I needed something that he couldn't doubt. And…sex seemed like the perfect thing. No one would think twice about it."

"How did you think of it?"

She laughed a little, obviously embarrassed. "I came across this couple while I was out there," she admitted. "They gave me the idea."

He smirked, wanting to say that he hoped she had ideas like that more often. This mission with her was beginning to change his preference for working alone.

"Can I get up now?" she asked, her mouth forming a hard line in response to his smile.

"Sure. Go ahead."

He didn't bother to get up with her, figuring it would be better for the moment to remain seated until he'd calmed down a little more. So he watched as Quistis secured the sheet under her arms and went about collecting her things. When she'd taken off her bra, the pins she'd secured to it had flown all over the room. And her clothing was similarly dispersed. She crouched down to pick up her shorts and her vest, then paused and turned around in place, looking for something.

Maybe she wasn't impassioned for him after all, he thought. That was a little disappointing even though it helped him collect himself enough to get up. Still, the feel of her against him was going to be burned into his mind forever. He knew he'd never be able to look at her the same way again. And he knew that he was going to have to beat the ever loving hell out of Carson Brecht the next time he saw him.

With an almost inaudible whimper, Quistis admitted, "I can't find my underwear."

Hyne. This was too good. Seifer couldn't suppress the chuckle that rose up in his throat. The impact of what Quistis had discovered, as terrifying as it was, faded in comparison to this. There was nothing they could do until morning anyway. So for the moment, he was overcome by sweet, sticky joy. Grinning, he picked up his pants and spotted Quistis's black panties underneath them. Could this night get any better?

"Hey, Quistis." He held the garment up. "Guess what I've got."

She walked over to him with one hand outstretched. "Thanks."

For some reason he couldn't fathom, he didn't let go when she tugged on them. Instead, he held tight and stepped closer to her.

"Seifer," she said, her eyes wide when she looked up at him. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know," he replied quietly.

And he didn't. It felt like his body was moving on its own. But he didn't need to think about it as he pulled her closer. The air around them was thick with tension and the unspoken lust let loose by Quistis's kiss. She had to feel it, too. The way she was looking up at him, as if she were aware of her every breath and heartbeat and alive with the memory of his touch, lit a fire in his stomach. Even though he knew that he was treading on forbidden ground, he leaned down toward her. Slowly, Quistis closed her eyes and tilted her face to meet him.

He kissed her. And she melted into him like she belonged there.

They both dropped her forgotten underwear to the floor, and Seifer cradled her face in his hands so that he could kiss her harder, demanding more. A small, innocent kiss wasn't enough after what she'd done. Now all he wanted was teeth and tongue and desperation. She kissed him back, rising on her toes so that she could be just as aggressive. Her eager mouth and the way she reached up with one hand to fist it in his hair again lent him fervor. And their tug of war for dominance quickly became frenzied and lost. Soon, he had his both of his arms around her, and the only thing holding her sheet in place was the tight lock between their bodies.

She groaned from deep back in her throat, the genuine sort that couldn't be controlled or muffled.

Sweet heaven. He wanted to hear her do that again. It made him shudder and go weak so that he wasn't sure if he could stay standing. Somehow, he did. And he captured her mouth again. It was desperate, the way he was kissing her. Like he couldn't survive without her.

Instinctively, he pressed his hips to hers. She responded by digging her nails into his back and clutching him closer, grinding against him even as she broke their kiss. Her head fell back, exposing her throat. It looked like an invitation, so Seifer trailed kisses across the underside of her jaw and over the tender flesh covering her racing pulse.

"We can't do this," she said, out of breath.

"Why?"

She sighed, but it sounded more like a moan. "Because it's wrong."

He knew that. God, he knew that and he didn't fucking care.

"It's Carson," she whispered. "I'm in a relationship."

Seifer shook his head and swore, reflexively feeling possessive and furious.

"And…we're on a mission. We have to focus," she continued.

He let her go and stepped away, knowing that if he stayed where he was he might not. But she followed him, allowing her sheet to slip a little in her haste to grab his hand.

"I just can't," she explained. "It's not fair to anyone. Besides, Carson is so…and you are…" She ran out of steam, unable to say whatever it was she was thinking.

"Spit it out," he demanded. Her rejection was still stinging, and although he was afraid of what she might say he thought it was better to hear it now if she was really in love with Brecht and save the both of them a lot of pain and trouble.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," she said, managing to speak fluidly without the quaver her voice had before. "We're SeeDs. And we do what we have to when we're on a mission."

"Oh. Is that it? That was a chore? And I'm just some fucking chump?" He felt like an ass getting so angry, but he couldn't help it.

She shook her head. "That's not what I said."

"Sure sounded like it."

He knew she'd felt something, too. It wasn't just that she'd done what she had to and he'd taken it the wrong way. The way she'd reacted hadn't been a trained response or something she'd done out of duty. He hadn't imagined the way her heart had thundered under his lips, or the spots on his back where she'd dug her fingertips in as he kissed her. She'd wanted him, too. So why was she pretending now like she didn't? He couldn't help think that it was because he was Seifer Almasy and she was Quistis Trepe. And she didn't want to be associated with him that way.

"Listen. Can we talk about this later?" she asked. "After we've both calmed down."

"Fine," he growled and stalked over to the light switch. The darkness felt cold and barren when he flicked the lights off, not at all the comfortable and silent cocoon they'd enjoyed together the night before. Maybe kissing her had been a mistake, he thought. It had opened up a Pandora's box of potential complications.

He climbed back into bed and scooted as far as he could toward the wall. If she brought it up again and wanted to talk about it, he would. Otherwise, he'd do his best to forget that anything had ever happened between them. He didn't think he wanted to remember if it could never happen again.

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Quistis laid silently in the dark, her back pressed up against Seifer's in bed. He was angry with her, and she couldn't blame him. Hell, she was angry with herself. That kiss hadn't been his fault. Nor had it been his fault that she'd put a stop to it. He hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, he'd done everything spectacularly right; she'd never been kissed with that much passion. Her body was still buzzing with it. But she'd made a commitment to Carson, and it wasn't fair to either him or Seifer for her to indulge in an affair without breaking things off first.

Honestly, she was surprised and bothered by the quick response Seifer had gotten from her. Even when she'd first run into the room in a panic and kissed him, she'd felt something stir. Then afterward when she was lying naked beside him, wrapped in their bed sheet, and he was in just his underwear, the enormity of what she had done began to hit her.

It was hard to admit how much she'd wanted him then and how much she still wanted him now. He was right beside her, warm and inviting. And they were both so far away from civilization and the rules that went with it. There was nothing but the law of the jungle out here. And tomorrow they could both die trying to escape the island and go for help. Then what would her fidelity mean?

Carson had never made her shudder and groan quite like that. No one had.

But Seifer…why him?

She'd known him all of her life. And for most of that time, she'd taken him for granted. He'd never really noticed her and she'd never really noticed him. How could sparks as hot as these hide between them for so long? It was possible they wouldn't last and would burn out quickly. Maybe their sudden chemistry was just a fluke of this time and this place. Carson, on the other hand, was steady and reliable. She knew he would never leave her and would always treat her right. He was always doting and affectionate. He was in love with her. But their relationship wasn't very exciting or deep. He'd never rocked her or made her forget herself. The memory of Seifer's passion, however, was going to be branded onto her soul forever. She couldn't imagine ever forgetting that.

He shifted beside her, rolling over onto his back. Quistis rolled all the way over to face him.

"Hey." She prodded him.

A grumble and a sigh were the only response she got.

Seifer was wrapped up in a blanket, and she was wrapped up in their sheet. She'd put her underwear back on after he'd gotten into bed again and had pulled on a t-shirt before lying down on the mattress beside him. Now she wanted some of their intimacy back. So she pulled the blanket back off of him.

"What the hell?" He grabbed at it, then settled when she threw the sheet over both of them and pulled the blanket back on top.

"Sorry," she said, then scooted a little closer to him under the covers, glad to be sharing them again. "And I mean about everything."

"I'm tired," he complained.

"I know. But we could both be dead by this time tomorrow. So I don't want to go into that with you mad at me."

What she wanted, really wanted, was to close the distance between them completely and abandon herself to the wild desire building in her heart. She still knew it was a bad idea. But she also knew it might be the only chance she'd get. If this was a fading, temporary thing, then maybe it was right to seize the moment and experience it while she could. Hyne…she didn't know. This island and this man were turning her inside out.

"It's fine. I forgive you," he said. "Now go to sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

She didn't believe him. But he didn't turn away from her, so she let the issue drop. Sighing, Quistis settled in beside him, taking what little comfort she could from his steady, solid body beside hers. Why when she just thought she had life sorted out did Seifer have to come along and change everything? That kiss had made a mountain. And she wasn't sure now whether or not Carson was worth climbing it for.