CONTINUED. . .(see how much crude humor you can stand.)
* Vamp and Raiden fight, but in the mean time we're taken to Otacon's scene. Otacon walks out into some sort of balcony above a giant laboratory and sees something huge suspended from the center of the ceiling, down to the room's floor. Some kind of capsule. *
Otacon: Weird.
* Otacon walks over to it and sees what it is. A giant capsule with Fat Bastard inside. Apparantly being cryogenically(spelling?) frozen. Just then the door she came through shuts and she whirls around to see who's there. *
Ocelot(after shutting the door): Well, well. What do we have here? Some sort of escaped lab rat?
Otacon: May I ask why the hell you're freezing Fat Bastard, and why didn't you at least put a pair of pants on him?
Ocelot: He has an interesting collection of scabies.
(author's note: OK, by now some of you may have looked up the term "scabies." Open any dictionary or use any search engine and you'll probably see them classified as just some sort of lice. But the truth is, the Patriots have supressed such information because they don't want the public to learn the truth of these unique critters. It might create some sort of global panic. They have edited such dictionaries and internet search engines to their liking but I, clipwaster, have a book with the genuine definition of scabies. My 9th grade health book. Apparently un- edited by the Patriots. They are a kind of lice, but not just any ordinary lice. They inhabit a certain, ahem. . .area. Okay, now that I've grossed you all out and lost most of my audience, I'll continue with the story.)
Otacon: Oh my God!!! Do I even want to know what you're gonna use them for?
Ocelot: No but I'm gonna tell you anyway. Fat Bastard has some sort of "genetically altered" scabies. Able to even disguise themselves as sea lice.
Otacon: Oh my God!!! French Fry's hamburger had sea lice in it!
Ocelot(while gagging): Otacon! I don't really care!
Otacon: . . .
Ocelot: Anyway, to help keep people under control after we control the world, we plan to create a special pill that looks very much like the olives found in Subway sandwiches. The pills will contain the little fellas in 'em. And if anyone gets any funny ideas about possibly taking us on, we have a special control unit connected to a satelite. All we need do is push a button and the scabie pill in any selected individual will erupt.
Otacon: You sick bastard!
Ocelot(smiling evily): Yes. I know. Now, TAKE HER AWAY!!!
* A bunch of guards come out and take martha/otacon prisoner. *
(meantime. Back with Raiden and Oprah.)
* Oprah is up on top of the railings jumping around shooting slimfast. She accidentally spills some slimfast on the railings in front of her and when she steps there, she slips and falls. *
Oprah(as she hits the ground): Arrrgh!
* Oprah jumps back in the water and starts swimming. Raiden finally finishes her by shooting her with his M4. She dies. Raiden then proceeds to the place where Otacon's brother is located. He sees a lone man sitting in the middle of the room playing a piano. *
Raiden: Are you Martha's brother?
* The man turns around surprised. We see his face. It's Elton John! *
Elton: Whaa!? Oh, hey there. You scared me.
* Elton eyes Raiden up and down. *
Elton: Nice suit!
Raiden(quietly): Oh great!
Elton: Hey. Wanna let me in it too?
Raiden: Listen, I've got to get you out of here.
Elton: Now!? But why so soon? Don't you want to listen to one of my songs?
Raiden: That's okay, really we've got to be goin. . .
* Elton ignores Raiden and begins playing. About half-way through the love song, they both feel a huge shake in the floor. *
Raiden: Look! We've got to get out of here. The place is about to flood sewage out of the walls.
Elton: I can't! The truth is, I'm afraid of the sewage. The sewage wants to get me! It wants to eat me!
Raiden: That's ridiculous! Look, we have to get out of here before the place gets flooded.
Elton(while the camera shows a cinema showing a flashback): I'm afraid of the sewage. When I was a kid and lived in New York, there was this big sewage problem. Me and my parents were playing out in the yard when suddenly, there was this shaking. Then a big puddle of sewage portruded up from the ground and swallowed my dad like quick sand.
Raiden: So that's why you're afraid of it. Well, listen, we've got too options. Either we stay here and let the sewage swallow us up, or we try to get out of here and have a chance of living.
Elton: . . .well, alright.
TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: Listen people, this is my 20th chapter and I have 13 reviews right now. 13! 13's an unlucky number so quick, someone, write a review! Or else I'll show you how unlucky 13 is by sicking my attack scabies on you!
* Vamp and Raiden fight, but in the mean time we're taken to Otacon's scene. Otacon walks out into some sort of balcony above a giant laboratory and sees something huge suspended from the center of the ceiling, down to the room's floor. Some kind of capsule. *
Otacon: Weird.
* Otacon walks over to it and sees what it is. A giant capsule with Fat Bastard inside. Apparantly being cryogenically(spelling?) frozen. Just then the door she came through shuts and she whirls around to see who's there. *
Ocelot(after shutting the door): Well, well. What do we have here? Some sort of escaped lab rat?
Otacon: May I ask why the hell you're freezing Fat Bastard, and why didn't you at least put a pair of pants on him?
Ocelot: He has an interesting collection of scabies.
(author's note: OK, by now some of you may have looked up the term "scabies." Open any dictionary or use any search engine and you'll probably see them classified as just some sort of lice. But the truth is, the Patriots have supressed such information because they don't want the public to learn the truth of these unique critters. It might create some sort of global panic. They have edited such dictionaries and internet search engines to their liking but I, clipwaster, have a book with the genuine definition of scabies. My 9th grade health book. Apparently un- edited by the Patriots. They are a kind of lice, but not just any ordinary lice. They inhabit a certain, ahem. . .area. Okay, now that I've grossed you all out and lost most of my audience, I'll continue with the story.)
Otacon: Oh my God!!! Do I even want to know what you're gonna use them for?
Ocelot: No but I'm gonna tell you anyway. Fat Bastard has some sort of "genetically altered" scabies. Able to even disguise themselves as sea lice.
Otacon: Oh my God!!! French Fry's hamburger had sea lice in it!
Ocelot(while gagging): Otacon! I don't really care!
Otacon: . . .
Ocelot: Anyway, to help keep people under control after we control the world, we plan to create a special pill that looks very much like the olives found in Subway sandwiches. The pills will contain the little fellas in 'em. And if anyone gets any funny ideas about possibly taking us on, we have a special control unit connected to a satelite. All we need do is push a button and the scabie pill in any selected individual will erupt.
Otacon: You sick bastard!
Ocelot(smiling evily): Yes. I know. Now, TAKE HER AWAY!!!
* A bunch of guards come out and take martha/otacon prisoner. *
(meantime. Back with Raiden and Oprah.)
* Oprah is up on top of the railings jumping around shooting slimfast. She accidentally spills some slimfast on the railings in front of her and when she steps there, she slips and falls. *
Oprah(as she hits the ground): Arrrgh!
* Oprah jumps back in the water and starts swimming. Raiden finally finishes her by shooting her with his M4. She dies. Raiden then proceeds to the place where Otacon's brother is located. He sees a lone man sitting in the middle of the room playing a piano. *
Raiden: Are you Martha's brother?
* The man turns around surprised. We see his face. It's Elton John! *
Elton: Whaa!? Oh, hey there. You scared me.
* Elton eyes Raiden up and down. *
Elton: Nice suit!
Raiden(quietly): Oh great!
Elton: Hey. Wanna let me in it too?
Raiden: Listen, I've got to get you out of here.
Elton: Now!? But why so soon? Don't you want to listen to one of my songs?
Raiden: That's okay, really we've got to be goin. . .
* Elton ignores Raiden and begins playing. About half-way through the love song, they both feel a huge shake in the floor. *
Raiden: Look! We've got to get out of here. The place is about to flood sewage out of the walls.
Elton: I can't! The truth is, I'm afraid of the sewage. The sewage wants to get me! It wants to eat me!
Raiden: That's ridiculous! Look, we have to get out of here before the place gets flooded.
Elton(while the camera shows a cinema showing a flashback): I'm afraid of the sewage. When I was a kid and lived in New York, there was this big sewage problem. Me and my parents were playing out in the yard when suddenly, there was this shaking. Then a big puddle of sewage portruded up from the ground and swallowed my dad like quick sand.
Raiden: So that's why you're afraid of it. Well, listen, we've got too options. Either we stay here and let the sewage swallow us up, or we try to get out of here and have a chance of living.
Elton: . . .well, alright.
TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: Listen people, this is my 20th chapter and I have 13 reviews right now. 13! 13's an unlucky number so quick, someone, write a review! Or else I'll show you how unlucky 13 is by sicking my attack scabies on you!
