CONTINUED. . .

Chapter 27

* The three heroes dive out of the way just in time, as the guards shoot at them with their advanced P90's. Rosie and Roseane's dives make a giant rumble in the ground which causes two metal gear units to fall down and crush about 15 of the gaurds. Rosie yells toward Roseane on the other side of the hall. *

Rosie: Do you think I should use the flaming suppository rounds or the exploding ones!?

Roseane: Either is fine! I also have electric shock ones!

* The two count to three and step out from their cover. Rosie fires a flaming suppository, which effectively tracks the target's ass. It meets with a guard's ass and erupts into a flaming barrage. The soldier runs around with what looks like a flame-thrower portruding out of his ass and finally gets engulfed with flames. Roseane shoots her exploding suppository and goes into a guard's anus and it explodes, sending him way up in the air. Meanwhile, Raiden watches from a safe distance until they finally kill everyone. *

Raiden: Wow, that was easy!

Roseanne: Yeah, they all dropped like flies.

* Just then, Jerod jumps out of a corner and shoots Roseane right in the head, and she falls down on the floor, dead. *

Rosie: NOOOOOOOO!!!

Jerod: Muwahhahahhahaha!!!

* Rosie falls down on her knees from weakness from the shock of her once- partner-in-crime's death. *

Jerod: Ha! Another piggy just went to the slaughter house! Bet you'll be missing her.

Rosie(in a depressed way): Yeah, she had a winning lottery ticket and was gonna split the money with me.

Jerod: Oh, I see. Well, in any case, both of your times will come. I'll see you around!

* Jerod flies off with his Subway jet pack. *

Raiden: I'm really sorry Rosie.

Rosie: Enough! Emotions have no place on the battle field. I'm gonna have to give my life soon, so it makes little difference.

* The two advance to the big, round room just before the place where you have to fight the metal gear Rays. Rosie stops and sniffs the air. *

Raiden: Are your scabie powers acting up again?

Rosie: Yeah, I can smell something. I also have this tingling sensation in my legs.

* Raiden readies his gun. The two look around and finally more of the agile tangu gaurds jump down from the ceiling. Raiden and Rosie stand back to back, ready to go into combat. Then something strange happens. . . . . .Rosie, apparently gaining full use of her scabie powers, moves extremely fast and spins around the room, throwing the guards everywhere. She finally ends it with a huge jump in the air, ending in a stomach drop on the last guard. *

Raiden: Rosie! That was amazing!

Rosie: I know. And it was all because of a hamburger I ate. To think my doctor told me they were bad for me and if I ate any more, the fat would just clog my arteries up!

Raiden: Clogged arteries.

Rosie: Yeah. He told me I'm basically living on one right now.

Raiden: . . .

Rosie(chuckles): If I gain much more weight I might die.

* Just then Richard Simmons shows up. Apparently he was offscreen the whole time. *

Richard: Looks like there was a party and I wasn't invited.

Rosie(turning to face Richard): Of all the lame introductions. . .

Raiden: Oh crap. Rosie! We don't have the time to put up with this guy. We've got to stop Metal Gear John.

Rosie: You go on ahead. I'll take care of the human-sized anti- depressant.

Raiden: But Rosie, we need you to jump into John. Remember? The suit? Kaboom!?

Rosie: Yeah, you go on out there and make sure everything's ready for me. I'll be out there shortly.

Raiden: . . .good luck Rosie.

Rosie: I will.

* Raiden makes a strange, confused face after this comment, but finally proceeds up the ladder. . .

. . .when he gets to the roof, he sees he's on the Manhatten Bridge. Suddenly, Cheeseburger's voice is heard. *

Cheeseburger: Hello son. Even though you're about to die, I thought I'd waste the last precious few moments of your life by talking about nothing in particular.

Raiden: Why don't you show yourself coward?!

Cheeseburger: No one likes a sour-puss! I rased you like my son Jack the Ripper! I can see you wanna get this over with. Here are a few toys to keep you occupied!

* A bunch of Metal Gear Rays appear. They begin firing missles and stuff at raiden and he fires back with his stinger. This goes on for a while until Rosie comes up to help Raiden. *

Rosie: Hey Raiden. Rosie's here!

Raiden: Rosie! But how did you defeat Richard? Bullets can't hit him.

Rosie: Yeah, but my fist can. And it did! He got pretty stupid down there trying to fry me with his rail-gun, always laughing, and with that goofy-ass grin on his face!

* Rosie looks over at the giant metal gear Rays. Suddenly, something comes over Rosie. *

Raiden: It's happening again!?

* Rosie runs over to a Ray unit and makes a giant leap up in the air and bites down on the metal gear Ray's crotch. She holds on with all her might. *

Raiden: Those scabie powers must really be in full affect now!

* Cheeseburger jumps onto the bridge. *

Cheeseburger: Great show sister!

Rosie(letting go of the metal gear): Cheeseburger!

Cheeseburger: But I'm afraid this is where it all ends!

* Cheeseburger jumps into a metal gear unit. And point it at the two heroes, ready to fire. *

Cheeseburger: Brace yourselves!

TO BE CONTINUED. . .

(author's note: Sorry for the slow updates.)