Chapter 26: The Crescent Moon
The sun was beginning its final descent into the sea, casting long shadows through the grass on the hillside cemetery. Quistis's was wearing black high heels with straps that twisted around her ankles, a tight black skirt, and a black blazer that was buttoned tightly over the blue tank top she had on underneath. Her heels sank into the ground, cementing her in place as the crowed heaved and sighed around her.
Seifer glanced down at her, then turned his attention back to the front of the crowd as a young preacher began to speak.
"It is always a tragedy to lose someone so young," he began. "But it is especially tragic to lose someone like Sascha who had so much potential."
Mrs. Maurden let out a loud sob and threw out one hand to slap it on top of the shiny wooden coffin that held the remains of her son. The polished surface reflected her image like a funhouse mirror.
"It is important to remember at times like this that death isn't an end for any of us," the preacher continued, pressing the book he was holding to his chest. "When I was very young, my mother died in a car accident. And my father, who suddenly had to raise both myself and my younger sister, struggled for a long time to cope. Then, one day, as we were riding in the car a truck passed by us and he turned to me and he said, 'This is what it's like. Everyday we walk through life until one day we're finally overcome by the shadow of death. But that's all that it is…a shadow. Just like when we were in the shadow of that truck, it's not painful, not frightening. It's no more terrible than stepping into the shade.'
"And I sat there in the car, speeding down the highway toward Deling City, and I knew that he was right." The preacher looked around the crowd and took in their murmurs of agreement before continuing. "Sascha is in the shadow. He's not lonely. And he's not hurting anymore. He is at peace."
Quistis looked down at the ground, not wanting to listen to anymore. She wanted to pay her respects to Maurden and had been hoping that doing so might help her close the book on her mission, but funerals were difficult for her. Being a SeeD meant that she had to confront death every day (both her own and others'), and she preferred to think of it in more concrete terms. She didn't want to think about what happened afterward or ponder her own mortality. Funerals forced her to do that and it made her uncomfortable.
When they began to lower the coffin into the dark grave, Mrs. Maurden bent down and gathered a bit of dirt in her hand. Quistis watched her struggle back onto her feet, her stiff hips forcing her to clutch the person next to her for support. Then her thick, short arm stretched out and dropped the dirt down onto the coffin's lid. A few other people, perhaps close family, did so as well.
And then it was over. Sascha's body was in the ground being covered over with dirt, a tombstone already prepared. Beside his grave was his father's. The plot, Quistis had overheard, was originally bought for Mrs. Maurden to be buried in.
Looking around, Quistis felt a twisted stab of jealousy. Who would attend her funeral, she wondered? Would she even have one? She didn't have any family, and she'd probably die on some godforsaken corner of the globe where there wouldn't be burials or services. Just her team. Just someone like Seifer standing at her side in those last moments.
Hell…there were worse ways to go.
"We're sorry for your loss," Seifer said, sounding very much like the line had been practiced, as he walked up to Maurden's mother.
"Oh my. You're that SeeD!" Suddenly, quick as a viper, she had her arms wrapped around him and was clutching him about the waist, hugging him desperately. "Thank you for coming! Thank you for bringing my baby back to me!"
Seifer sputtered in her vice-like grip, his buggy eyes begging Quistis to help him. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do until Mrs. Maurden decided to let go on her own.
"You're welcome in my home anytime, dear," she said, her eyes wide and filled with fat, glossy tears as she looked up at him. "You understand that? Anytime. I've got an empty room now, you know."
"I'll keep that in mind," Seifer promised, and with that vow, Mrs. Maurden slowly released him.
It was exceedingly unlikely Seifer would ever find himself in Winhill, and Quistis wasn't sure if it was sweet or cruel of him to let the poor woman think that he might ever take her up on her offer. She was quickly overtaken by other funeral guests, however, and Seifer seemed to slip from her mind.
"Hyne," Seifer complained under his breath as he turned around, looped his arm through Quistis's, and began directing them away. "You'd think the woman would wait at least a few days before she tried to get someone to fill her dead son's bed."
"I'm not sure it's her son's bed she's interested in filling," Quistis whispered.
Seifer groaned with disgust. "Don't ever make me imagine that again."
Quistis felt a little guilty for smiling and joking as she left the funeral. But she had never known Sascha when he was alive, so it was difficult to walk away with the same sense of loss she saw in everyone else. She and Seifer had requested special permission to travel to Galbadia for the funeral. It wasn't the sort of thing SeeDs usually did. But they had both felt compelled to attend. They were due back in Balamb Garden by morning, under strict orders to take the direct train from Timber to Balamb and not waste time "sightseeing." Xu's words; she was already being groomed for her promotion.
Though an unfortunate bought of coincidence, Carson Brecht had been on the same train to Galbadia as Seifer and Quistis when they left. They'd only just parted ways with him in Deling City where he was staying the night with a friend for a few days until he could find a place to start his new life outside of Garden. He'd been pleasant and cordial for the whole trip. As irritating as it was to have him around, Quistis had to admire the way he conducted himself. She knew that with as awkward as it was for her, it must have been much more so for him.
In the cemetery parking lot, the car they had rented in Deling was flashing in the low evening light. It was blue and built to look antiquated even though everything under the hood and in the dash was less than a year old. Something about the people in this part of the world, Quistis thought to herself, they all want to look ancient.
Seifer climbed into the driver's seat and slammed the door. Quistis got in on the passenger side and quickly leaned down to take off her heels.
"Oh Hyne." She stretched, wiggled her toes, and shuddered with relief. "I've been wanting to do that all day."
With a grin, Seifer turned the key in the ignition and the car roared to life. A woman was singing on the radio in a soft, high register with strings soaring behind her. Seifer's fingers tapped rhythmically against the steering wheel, even as he angled his body backwards so that he could back the car out of the space. The long drive ahead would take them from the outskirts of Winhill all the way back to Deling City where they would catch a train back to Timber, and then another one back to Balamb. They'd already had a long day of travel, and Quistis wasn't looking forward to sitting still again for the ride back. She looked out the window at the small cottages passing by and wished that they could just stop and settle in somewhere for the night.
As they drove, the pace of the sun's decent increased until it barely clung to the horizon. Reaching forward, Seifer flipped on the headlights and the dash began to glow a steady green-blue. The same color as his eyes, Quistis thought.
"Did you hear about Aurelia?" she asked.
"What about her?"
"They're going to send another team down to the island to collect what we had to leave behind," she said and rolled down the window to let the warm night air inside. "They're even hoping to bring back a shadow cat. But until they get all the evidence gathered to use her trial, they're going to be transferring her to a high-security prison in Esthar."
"Esthar, huh? That'll piss her off."
"I know."
"And no one in Esthar realizes who she is?" he asked.
"They think she's a domestic terrorist."
The fresh night was flowing in around them, darkness taking over the evening with such stealth that Quistis wasn't sure exactly when it had stopped being light out. She could smell the far distant ocean, grass, flowers, and the memory of some rain storm that had come through. Tilting her head back, she took in deep breaths.
"What about everyone else we brought back?" Seifer asked. "They headed to the prison in Esthar, too?"
"No. They're being sent here to Galbadia. They're all going to be held until Xu decides what to do with them. Plus anyone the new team manages to find still alive on the island."
Seifer's hands tightened on the wheel. "Like Abra. It's been bothering me that he wasn't among the prisoners we brought back. And he wasn't among the dead either. He must have run back into the woods, and that's one bastard who I bet could survive."
"I've thought that, too," Quistis admitted.
Silence fell between them. It was peaceful, full with the knowledge that their part in the mission was over. Quistis nuzzled her head back against the headrest and let a soft sigh sneak past her lips to mingle with the fragrant air.
"So, you are Carson are…?" Seifer suddenly asked. The question had been lingering between them all day.
"Are officially over," she replied. "I broke up with him as soon as we got back to Balamb. He lost his license, you probably heard. That's why he quit SeeD and is going after the journalism job with Timber Maniacs."
"No white picket fence and two screaming kids in your future then?"
"Well…none with Carson." She wasn't entirely opposed to the idea of a home or children, she just didn't want either of them quite yet. Maybe in ten years she'd be a different person with more room in her life and a greater thirst for permanence. Right now, she was thirsty for something else entirely. She hadn't had much time alone with Seifer since they'd returned from the island. It was warming her inside to reconnect with him.
They slowed down for a sharp corner, and Seifer had a scrunched up look of concentration on his face. "You never would have learned to love him, you know. You can't learn to do it. You just do."
"How would you know?"
He gave her a mysterious look that made her heart hammer against her ribs. "I just do."
"Are you saying…?"
"Yes," he replied immediately, interrupting her.
"Yes what? You didn't even let me finish."
He sighed loudly and took his foot off the gas, letting the car coast off the road and come to a stop. The song on the radio seemed unusually loud now without the wind rushing in the open windows or the sound of the car's wheels on the pavement. Crickets were singing in the grass, their chirps interrupting the rhythm of the song. Seifer reached out to then it down, then turned off the car and drew in a deep breath.
"Yes. I'm in love with you."
She was floored.
"You…you love me?" It seemed unreal. How could he just say that so matter of factly? Maybe she hadn't heard him right. They'd never slept together. They'd never even been on a date. How could he know?
"Of course I do. Isn't it obvious?"
"It just seems like the sort of thing you might need to take some time to think about."
He leaned across the car toward her, then reached out to tuck the hair on one side of her face behind her ear. "No. It's exactly the sort of thing I don't need to think about."
Quistis almost had no breath left in her body to respond. "Seifer…I'm not sure if I can—"
"I don't need you to say it back," he assured her. His hand was cradling the back of her head now, warm and firm and persuasive. Then, for the first time since they'd arrived back in Balamb, he kissed her. It was soft and honest. And even though it had none of the fire or desperation of the kisses she remembered, it made her heart swell. Garden, Winhill, and the whole rest of the world was far away. In their car in the dark on this lonely stretch of road, she felt like she had all she could ever want.
She wasn't sure if this was love, but it certainly was something.
"I've been thinking about you a lot lately," she admitted. "About the time we spent together in Esthar and Deling City, and on the island. These past few days in Garden, I've really missed you."
"Really?" He grinned. "Any moments in particular you've been dwelling on?"
Quistis laughed. "Maybe."
He unbuckled his seat belt and turned toward her, then stopped and said, "Brecht's not going to come driving up behind us, is he? He was staying the night in Deling City, right?"
"As far as I know."
"No Squall, either? Because, you know, between the two of them, they can ruin pretty much any moment I want to have with you no matter where we are on the planet."
Quistis unbuckled as well and took a hold of Seifer's lapel, pulling him close. "Even if Squall and Carson were to land together in the Ragnarok right here, right now…I wouldn't care," she said, blushing a little at the idea of getting caught in the back of a steamed up car like a teenager. But the thought excited her, too. As she scooted across the front seat, he wrapped his arms around her, pulled her onto his lap, and kissed her again. With his fingers brushing up and down her spine and his tongue tracing her lips, Quistis felt more intimately connected to him than she had even in the midst of the mission when their very lives had been in each others hands. She groaned softly and relaxed into his grip, happy to give herself over to him, to wrap herself safely in his strength.
"I think we're going to miss our train," she said.
"Who cares?"
She grinned and kissed him again, then asked against his mouth, "How come we never did this before now?"
"I dunno. I guess it just wasn't the right time yet," he replied, but he wasn't concentrating on what she was saying. His hands were untucking her shirt, pushing it up over her ribs, and then lingering there along the soft skin around her navel, up to her breastbone, and along the edge of her bra back to the clasp. Slowly, methodically, he began tracing her every curve, removing clothing only as it got in the way.
By the time he had her shirt and bra off, Quistis was on fire, leaning back against the steering wheel and staring up at the sky through the windshield while he licked and kissed from the hollow of her throat down…down until she fisted her fingers in his hair and held him in place.
Up above, from between fuzzy, luminous clouds, she could see the moon hanging in the sky. She felt like she could have reached out and grabbed it, brought it down to earth, and for a moment she thought about the Lunar Cry a century ago that had somehow brought her to this place with this man. Perhaps this was fate, true love that was meant to be.
Hyne, yes. That had to be it.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, and whispered in his ear that she loved him until finally the fog diffused the sharp light of the moon, and closed them into a world all their own.
