I'm afraid I'll break you
I sit here,
Cold, shaking, naked,
My life,
Stripped down until all that's left…is me.
An empty wine bottle,
Its contents sprayed on the floor,
On my small, pale body.
They licked most of it off,
But now the rest sticks to me,
It was the most disgusting feeling.
Panting, eyes wide open,
I wait for what's to come.
My heart racing,
I hear footsteps,
Slowly climbing the stairs.
I'm afraid they've come back,
I start to shake profusely.
The door opens,
But it's not them.
I clench my fists tight…
Yuki.
H strolled over,
Smiling.
I hate him,
What did I do to deserve this?
He starts to laugh,
First quietly,
But then an ear-piercing howl.
My eyes widen with fear…
Sensei.
You run your hands down my stomach,
Lower and lower you go.
I cry out for you to stop,
But you only snicker and continue.
You stumbled backwards,
A red welt forms on your face.
A little drunk you are,
Falling all over the place.
I could not more,
My fear kept my place.
You spat crude words at me,
I finger the gun behind me.
I knew it might came to that,
But I prayed it wouldn't.
The beating of words continues,
And I'm fighting back the tears.
I never knew you felt this way,
That I was so wrong.
I'm sorry sensei,
I'm sorry I made you do this,
I'm sorry this happened.
I want to scream all of this pain, anger and fear out,
I want it all to go away.
You say you want to hurt me,
Because I hurt you.
I'm really scared now,
You're advancing towards me.
Arms held out,
Reaching for my neck.
I back away,
And whip out the gun.
My hands, arms, body are trembling,
I cannot hold it straight.
You grin,
And taunt me to shoot you.
My finger lays on the trigger,
Ready if you move.
"Stay back!" I say,
You grin once again and step forwards.
I fire,
I don't know what which was louder,
The gunshot or my scream.
I missed,
And you lunge at me.
I dodged out of the way,
Just barely.
You wipe your arm across your mouth,
Eyes gleaming with malice.
Like a beast you stay crouched on the ground,
Panting, waiting to strike again.
But then your face lightens,
And you smile like you did before,
Before this all happened.
You stand up proud and tall,
Handsome, you looked.
But as quickly as it came,
Your face contorted,
And back to the rabid beast you become.
I raise the gun once more,
This time to kill.
"This is you fault.
You drove me away.
You always liked him better,
And that Tohma.
Look at what you've done,
This all comes down to you.
You made me do this,
You turned me against you.
Eiri you break everything,
And everyone you touch.
I HATE Y-"
The gunshot stopped him,
Before he could finish.
But I know the words,
They are forever imprinted in my mind.
I am crying,
Like I've never cried before…
Yuki…
* * * * * *
More footsteps,
Lighter than Yuki's,
But faster.
The door swings open,
Tohma runs in breathless.
You came and put your arms around me,
"It's all my fault…" you say.
I can't say anything,
Only tears and sobs come out.
I fade away into my won world,
And try to forget what happened.
* * * * * *
I look at you now Shuichi,
Full of happiness,
Happiness I once had.
You look so peaceful,
So full of life.
I know I'll do something,
That'll make you lose it.
I don't want to push you away,
Make you do things,
Horrible things.
I want to touch you,
Embrace you,
Caress you,
Just hold you.
I've tried to,
In an affectionate way,
But I can't,
I'm afraid of what'll happen.
You're so fragile,
Body and soul,
I'm afraid I'll break you.
