I sat back in my chair and thought about what Squall had just yelled to me. It's my fault Raine is dead. It is my fault! Why couldn't I have been there for her? If I never left, none of this would have ever happened! I was such a fool… Squall will never forgive me, and nor can I forgive myself for what I did. But what is done is done… It can't be changed. I'm so sorry Squall.
I sat in my office the whole night by myself thinking. What could I do to make up for what I did? It was too much to think about. I even cried a few times. Maybe it would just be better to just stay out of Squall's way… No, I can't do that. We already have a broken past. Though I may not be able to change that, I can change what is to be in the future… Instead of beating myself up on the inside, I can be a father to Squall. There is no point of feeling guilty for the rest of my life. I can start making up for the past now. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Yeah… I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.
When I awoke from a long nap, Kiros and Ward were standing at my desk. "Laguna?" Kiros whispered. I stretched out and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Yawning, I sat up in the chair, I didn't even notice I had drifted off to sleep.
"Yeah?" I said sleepily. I yawned once more and looked at Kiros.
"It didn't go too well, did it?" Kiros asked. He probably heard all the yelling and stuff.
"No…" I replied. "It didn't go too well… But I knew this would happen… I just hope that he does forgive me sometime…" I stood up and walked over to the large glass window. I looked over the large city of Esthar. The conversation with Squall disappeared from my thoughts for a brief moment as I looked upon the grand city. I sighed and turned back to my best buds. Ward faintly smiled, then looked to the floor.
"I have decided to take a trip to Winhill," I told them out of nowhere. "It will be short, only for a day or so. I might be able to clear up my mind there." I took a deep breath and sat down for a moment to think. Ward left the room. A few minutes later he returned. He looked at me and nodded. I nodded back.
I left the Presidential Palace and set out for Winhill. I headed to the Airstation where the Ragnarok awaited me. On the way, I met several residents and tried the best I could to be happy, and smile. It seemed to work until one old woman said to me, "You have something on your mind… You seem sad about something President Loire…" I just looked at her oddly and continued walking. Those old people have some sort of sixth sense or something. I sighed and finally I made it to the Airstation. I greeted the pilot, and entered. It was just us two on the aircraft. He asked where I was headed and when to be picked up. I told him where and when. And then he asked me why I did not have Ward and Kiros with me. I told him I needed some alone time. He just faintly smiled and went to the cockpit.
I sat alone, looking out the windows at the world below. It was beautiful. Being inside the Ragnarok reminded me of the mission I was on 17 years ago. Kiros, Ward and I had caught the evil Sorceress Adel, and I had become President of Esthar. I should have returned to Raine… I sat down in one of the chairs and tried to relax a bit.
A while after takeoff, we had landed in front of Winhill. As I exited the Ragnarok, I thanked the pilot and reminded him again of when to pick me up. Moments later, he left. It was just me now. I can be alone now, I can finally clear my mind of all the duties of being a President and focus on other things now.
I entered the familiar little town. The first place I went was the old small house. It still had the small bar in it, but now it was different. It no longer smelled of fresh flowers. Raine always had fresh flowers out on each of the tables. I pulled a chair up and sat down. I thought of all the memories that still remain here. I remember Kiros, Ward and I used to patrol the town everyday, then come back and give our report to little Elle and Raine. Those were happier days.
I even remember the day Kiros and Ward dragged me in here after I had badly hurt myself. Raine took good care of me, even if she did think I was a big blubbering baby. She told me a few months after what had happened because I couldn't exactly remember. She said I came in whining like a little kid who had fallen off his bike. Sigh, those were some good ole days…
I got up and walked out. I decided to visit Raine's grave once again. I walked out the to town circle and headed across the small wodden bridge, towards the large field. I walked through the empty path to the field of flowers. The smell was such a nice smell, flowers always seemed to cheer me up. The flowers that Raine always set out in the bar were always so beautiful and they made the place smell nice.
I walked over the small hill, and to a small grassy patch where a small, square stone was. I slowly walked to the gravestone remembering all the happy memories with Raine. I picked a few flowers and put them on the gravestone. I kneeled down, and started to speak, "I'm so sorry Raine. I know I should have been there for you, Elle and Squall… I was stupid not to come back sooner. I know that if I would have just come back sooner, none of this would have happened. I just wish everything would be okay, but without you here, it's not. I don't think Squall will ever forgive me… If you were here, everything would be okay…" Tears started welling up in my eyes. I tried hard not to cry, but it came anyways.
~*~*~*~*~
"Ellone! Get upstairs! Hide!" Raine shouted firmly, signalling for Ellone to go upstairs. The soldiers from Esthar were there to take Ellone away, and Raine wasn't about to give her up. She wasn't going to let some soldiers take her away from her. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.
"Open up!" a deep voice yelled from the other side of the door. When Raine refused to open the door for the soldiers, they resorted to brute force, and they kicked the door down.
"Get out!" Raine exclaimed. "You are not allowed here!" She stood in front of them, not letting them through. She firmly placed her hands on her hips and didn't budge at all.
"Ha, you are puny, you don't stand a chance!" the other soldier mocked Raine, who then narrowed her eyes. "Hand over the girl, and this won't end in a mess of blood," he explained. Yet Raine still refused to let them pass her. She put her arm out in front of them to stop them from going any further.
Ellone opened the door at the top of the stairs just a crack to peek through. She saw Raine standing in front of two men who were dressed in funny outfits. She then saw the enormous guns that they were holding and gasped. Both of the soldiers looked up the stairs at the door. "There she is! Get her!" he yelled. Raine pushed herself in front of him trying to hold him back.
"Ellone!" Raine yelled. "Don't let them get-" A gunshot was fired, and hit Raine in the shoulder. Another one was shot at her stomach. As she fell to the floor, Ellone screamed. Raine tried as hard as she could to hang onto her life, she couldn't let these soldiers take Ellone from her. She breathed heavily now, telling herself to get up. One of the soldiers stepped over her body and ran up the stairs to grab Ellone. Too scared to know what to do, Ellone just simply screamed.
As the soldier was returning down the stairs with a flailing Ellone in his arms, she screamed, "Mom!!!" She looked at Raine who was gasping for air in a puddle of blood. It was the most horrific sight to see as a child, to see your mother being shot and killed by a bunch of mysterious soldiers.
"Elle…" she managed to say. She tried desperately to get up. But the soldier who had shot her, shot her several more times to make sure she was dead. All that was in the house was a dead Raine and someone else. No one knew that there was a small baby boy sleeping upstairs, who was now crying. The loud shots had awaken him. He lay all by himself unaware of what had just happened.
Moments after the assault, a few townspeople flocked towards the small house. An old lady heard the baby crying, and went up the stairs to find a little baby boy. There was a small piece of paper next to him with the name 'Squall' scribbled in blue crayon. "Squall…" the old lady said. "Well, I'm sorry, but your mommy is dead," she said sadly.
Later that day, the Kramar's came to take the little Squall to their Orphanage. The old lady told them the whole story. "Take care of him," the old lady told Edea.
"We will," Edea replied. And with Squall in her arms, she and Cid left.
~*~*~*~*~
The tears ran down my face. I couldn't stop. Nothing was right. My life was all messed up. I can never forgive myself for what I did. I am a terrible father. I put my face in my hands, then wiped the tears away and stood up. I tried to convince myself that everything was going to be fine. I told myself that I could make it up to Squall, somehow…
