Author's note: For those of you who were confused, the reason Spike and Buffy were trying to set each other up with their friends was because after that kiss on New Year's, they were very confused (just like in the movie) and figured the easiest way to stay friends was if they were both dating other people. See, they're still in denial, guys. They want to hold true to the "let's just be friends" bit, but they really secretly want to get into each other's pants. Makes for interesting reading. ::shrug:: I think, anyway. ;)
Chapter 11Buffy was slamming things around in the kitchen in frustration over the date-gone-wrong the previous evening. She thought that she could just stay friends with Spike by pairing him up with Willow, and he'd obviously felt the same way about her and his friend Oz. What do Willow and Oz do? Completely screw things up, of course, by pairing off with each other.
Well, she thought to herself. On the plus side, at least Oz isn't married and Willow's still head over heels for him… Maybe she'll get her thoughts off of Xander after all…
Finally settling on something to make for breakfast, she sighed as she prepared to scramble the eggs. She was not looking forward to having to spend the next couple of months avoiding Spike. She loved spending time with him… that wasn't the issue. Or maybe it was, she enjoyed it too much. Either way, they were "just friends" and friends didn't jump each other's bodies. She reminded herself of that repeatedly, since she knew that the next time she saw Spike her willpower would be put to the test.
Besides, she reiterated to herself. He keeps making it quite clear that we're nothing but friends, so he obviously doesn't want anything more…
She had no idea that a certain bleached blonde was thinking the exact same thoughts about her across town…
Two months later…
"Well, I don't see what we have to buy them a present for, pet. They're not even getting married, just moving in together," Spike protested from behind Buffy as she continued to browse through the DAPY store in the mall.
As she made various faces over the bizarre and downright risqué merchandise that the store had to offer, she threw a glare over her shoulder at him. "Spike, how many times do I have to tell you? It's a housewarming present. Polite people give them to their friends when they move into a new home."
"I think it's just another bloody way to wrestle more free stuff out of a person," he grumbled, jamming his hands into his pockets and ignoring the fresh glare sent to him from the petite blonde.
They spent a few more minutes rifling through the shelves of knick-knacks and peculiar pop culture items before Buffy turned to Spike and sighed. "We're never going to find anything here. We should have just gone to the bookstore. Willow's always got her nose in some book…" Her voice trailed off as she noticed she didn't have his attention at all.
He was staring at a lunch box with "I Love Lucy" painted on it in 50's-era colors. His chin was set so as not to betray emotion, but that effort was scuttled by the betrayal of his eyes, which were expressing sorrow in waves. When he finally noticed that Buffy was staring at him in open concern, he turned to her. "Harm always loved that show, couldn't get enough of it. Always thought she'd gone bloody daft, but she couldn't get enough of it…"
Sighing, Buffy gently took Spike by the elbow and led him out of the store. "Come on, let's go. We'll pick out a book at B. Dalton and then we'll get some Haagen Dazs. Sound good?"
He numbly nodded and followed her to the bookstore down at the other end of the mall.
One coffee table book and four scoops of Haagen Dazs later, the pair were sitting in Willow and Oz's new living room, watching the couple argue over the coffee table itself. Buffy had to stifle a smile at the sight of the much-reviled wagon-wheel that Spike had told her about at the furniture store a while back. She now knew whose bad taste had been involved in its purchase as she looked with innocent doe eyes in Oz's direction.
"It says 'home' to me," the shorter man was arguing.
"Fine, we'll let Spike and Buffy decide," Willow appeased him, still defiant about the coffee table. "Guys?"
Spike jerked his head up from where he had been staring off into space at the carpet. Buffy shot him a glance of sympathy and patted his knee before turning back to the arguing couple. She was fumbling for words, blinking rapidly, and thinking what she could say that would be the least likely to cause fallout.
Spike, meanwhile, had caught a meaningful glare from Oz, glanced at the coffee table and suppressed a shudder. With a forced casual shrug, he said, "It's nice, I suppose."
"Ha!" Oz said. "There you have it."
Buffy wrinkled her nose and Willow caught the gesture, saying, "You see? Those of us with actual taste recognize this for the eyesore it is, sweetie."
Oz shot Spike a pleading look. "Man, someone has to be on my side here."
"I'm on your side," Willow soothed, "I'm just trying to help you have good taste."
"This coming from the woman who dresses like she was attacked by homosexual gypsies," Oz snarked back at her.
Spike shot to his feet, suddenly, pacing around the sparsely decorated apartment in a distracted fashion. "We started like this, Harm and I. Had bloody nice carpeting, blank walls, we hung pictures and put furniture everywhere. What happens? A year later I'm mesmerized by a soddin' I Love Lucy lunchbox!"
Buffy smiled at her friends before saying to Spike, sotto voce, "Spike, I know you're upset, but do we have to do this now?"
"Bugger all, we'll talk about it right now, so they can see what they're getting into!" Spike said, raising his voice. "Put your names on all the things that you came in with, ladies and gentlemen," he continued, spreading his arms out theatrically. "Because sooner or later, you'll be dividing things up, wondering whose is whose, and you'll be fighting over this bloody coffee table!" He kicked the wagon wheel for good measure.
Oz looked at him blankly. "I thought you said you liked it?"
Spike whipped a cigarette out while he headed for the door. Turning to face his friend, he yelled, "I was being bloody polite, goddammit!" With that, he slammed the door behind him.
Buffy looked at her friends' dumbfounded expressions and apologized quickly. "He just ran into something today that reminded him of Harmony."
As she ran out to follow Spike, Willow turned to Oz with placating eyes. "I want you to know that never, in a million years, will I ever want this coffee table."
Downstairs, as Buffy came up on Spike's position, she saw him pacing the sidewalk in front of the apartment stairs. He was smoking at a rapid rate, and when he saw her he shook his head in self-recrimination. "I know, I know, shouldn't 'ave bleedin' done that."
"Spike, you have to find a way to not offend people every time you have a personal crisis." Buffy sat down on the bottom step and buried her head in her hands.
"Well, Emily Post," Spike snarled around his cigarette, "when you're giving your next lecture in social graces let me know. I'll sign the fuck up."
"You're about to cross the line, Spike," Buffy warned him, her eyes flashing.
"Is that what this is about? The world's going to end over 'crossing the line'? Your problem is you stand too far behind the line. In fact, I don't even think the line is in the same bloody zip code from where you're standing…" He threw down the expired cigarette and reached for another one.
Buffy, meanwhile, had shot up from her position on the stairs, pacing like he had before shooting him a glare and walking past him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
He grabbed her by the arm, looking her in the eyes. "Nothing bothers you, luv. I never see anything get to you."
"That's bullshit," she snapped.
"Really? Where were your tears when Captain Cardboard took the last boat out of here? I never see any come to your eyes when you think about him. Hell, I don't even know that you bloody well do think about the stupid bugger."
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him defiantly. "I've experienced my mourning period, I've dealt with my loss. I'm over it."
"Mourning period?" He laughed. "One hour in the Gap? You bought a new sweater and grief flew right out the bleedin' window?"
"I don't have to take this from you," she snarled, breaking out of his grip to continue walking away.
He caught her arm again, this time pressing her back against the wall so she couldn't try to escape again. "If you're so over Riley, then why haven't you started dating other people?"
"I see people," she muttered, not meeting his gaze.
"See people? Pet, let me ask you something. Have you slept with one person since Riley left you?"
She felt her ire rise to a whole new level, shouting back in his face so loudly that he let go of her, startled. "So that's the key to mending a broken heart? Sleeping with people? Well, Spike, I suppose you'll have to pack up and move to Utah because you've already slept with every woman in the state of Nevada, and I don't see you any closer to being over Harmony." She got as close to him as she could so that she was right in his face. "And when I sleep with someone, I want it to be making love. Not do things the way you do them, like you're out for some sort of revenge against Harmony that the stupid bitch would never notice or care about!"
He stood there, shocked still, and just stared at her as she breathed deeply to compose herself. Finally, he asked softly, "Are you done?"
She sighed. "Yes."
He offered her his arm and she reluctantly took it, allowing him to lead her back up the stairs and into their waiting friends' apartment.
