Shio is probably one of my favorite characters that I made up. If you're just coming in to this story, Shio was Inu Yasha's best friend a long time ago, and what everyone has seen of them so far, they are almost complete opposites.

Ahsay unI nwo t'nod I. (Translation: I don't own Inu Yasha.)
Chapter 3: Inugami-sama and Sekkusugami-sama

(Translation: Dog God and Sex God)
Kikyo is just so perfect isn't she? So smart, kind, beautiful, and feminine in every way! Everyone loves her. She's so helpful, always aiding the injured and weak from war.

But there is something about Kikyo that not many people know. No one knows of the dirty little secret in her patch of time, no one except for two people. One of which persons is herself, the other is a certain boy named-

The farmers came running toward her as she approached the village. "Lady Priestess!"

Kikyo stopped and studied their faces. They were terrified, which meant they were probably going to ask her for help.....

"We need your help!" one of the farmers cried.

"What's wrong, good serf?" she asked.

The tallest farmer started. "There is a demon living in the woods! He's been terrorizing the village!"

"We think it might be a dog demon!" the farmer with the red kimono shirt said.

"Or a kitsune!" the short one with the biggest hat added.

"What has he done?" she asked.

The tall one spoke again, "He has only been here for a short time but he has done much!"

"We never see him in the day, he only comes out at night!" the big hat guy said.

Then the red shirt guy spoke in a low voice, "He comes out of the woods, disguised as a young, handsome nobleman. He lures beautiful virgin girls into the forest with him where TERRIBLE things happen!!"

"Does he eat them?" Kikyo guessed.

"Well," the hat guy scratched his head and looked at the ground. "No."

"We've never actually witnessed what goes on during the sessions." The tall guy said.

"But there are screams!" the red shirt guy said. "Horrible screams, they echo through the night! Then the next morning, the girls are found looking as though they had been through the worst of scuffles! They are sweaty and their faces are red, they become giddy and lose the ability to concentrate!"

"The village is in fear!" the tall guy said.

"Please help us!" The red shirt guy pleaded.

Kikyo narrowed her eyes and nodded. She started off toward the woods.
Kagome walked into Kaede's hut and dropped her bag on the floor, the others were coming in after her. Sango came and sat at the other side of her backpack. Miroku came and sat next to Sango. The puppies trotted in and laid in various places around the room. Inu Yasha walked in with Shippou on his shoulder. The grumpy dog boy was mumbling something about "cocky future girls."

He sat on the other side of Kagome and she sneezed a squeaky sneeze, causing Shippou to fall off of Inu Yasha's shoulder.

"Squeaky sneeze!" Sango said.

Kaede, who was sitting and kindling a small fire in the floor looked up and asked, "Kagome, are you catching a cold?"

"I don't know, I-ah-TIEU!!" she sneezed again.

"Squeaky sneeze!" Sango said.

Shippou jumped up onto Kagome's shoulder. "Are you okay, Kagome?" he asked in the cutest little concern. (AN: God! He's adorable! ^^)

"Feh!" Inu Yasha said irritably. "Don't tell me you're sick! You just got here!"

"It's not my fault!" she said and sniffed a couple of times.

"Yeah? Well I think you're trying to fake it so you can go home!" he said unconcerned.

She glared at him, "I'm NOT making it up, okay?!" then she felt the itch in her nose. "Ah-hahah-!" Shippou jumped off of her shoulder. She pulled a tissue out of the neck of her shirt at the last moment and sneezed into it.

Inu Yasha sweat dropped.

"Whoa!" Miroku smiled. "That turned me on!"

Sango smacked him in the back of the head. Then she said, "Squeaky sneeze!"

Inu Yasha went to the other side of the fire where her stupid germs wouldn't annoy him. But people didn't know about germs back then, yet he was still annoyed! The dogs came from where they were lying and sat around him.

"So Kagome-chan, what have you brought with you this time?" Sango asked.

"Oh, the usual, I've gotten some new flavors of ramen, I thought you might like to try steak and beef flavor."

The dogs wagged their tails excitedly. Then Inu Yasha heard the puppy Shippou say, 'MMM! I love steak!!'

Puppy-dog Inu-kun made a sighing sound and said, 'Like she would give you some!'

'She will!' puppy Shippou said. 'I'm her favorite!'

'Nuh-uh!' Inu-kun said. 'I'M her favorite!'

'Why would she like a stupid albino like you!?' puppy Shippou said.

Inu-kun bit his tail and they got into a playful little fight.

'Shippou! That wasn't nice!' puppy Kagome said.

'Does it really matter?' puppy Sango asked.

'YES!' Inu-kun and puppy Shippou said and continued fighting.

'I'm named after her,' Puppy Kagome said. 'Since we're so close, I think I'm her favorite!'

'I believe she would pick me.' The Miroku puppy stated. 'All females like me, they can't resist my animal magnetism!'

Inu Yasha got tired of listening to them fighting and said, "You're all wrong!"

The puppies looked up at him, silenced.

The humans of the group took no notice. They were used to him talking to the dogs like that anyway and usually either didn't hear it, or ignored it. Inu Yasha glanced at her then out the window, "I'M her favorite!"
It was a normal day in the forest. A normal boring day where one could sleep in, and there was nothing like the feeling of sleeping in, when working is what must be done! ^^

A boy sat at the base of a tree. He had not been sleeping, but he also had not been working. He was a demon, with a dog demon father and a kitsune mother. His physiological age was about seventeen.

He was dressed in expensive clothes that were based on the colors green and white. Not many dog demons wore shoes, but he did. He had a beautiful face, a design of amused beckoning lips, a fine nose, and lovely emerald green eyes with long red eyelashes. His hair was a silky auburn, like his tail, and it didn't sit in a huge mass. It was tied up in a long pointy ponytail on the back of his head. He also had two doggy ears that were very furry and wolfy looking. This young man's name was Shio.

He sat moving his foot from side to side singing a song to himself, "Voulez- vous coucher avec moi, ce soir, Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir-"

He turned his head to see a flea bouncing toward him. "Shio! Shio! Shio!" she called to him.

He held out his hand and she jumped into it. He held her up to his face and said, "Hey, Suyoga, what's up?"

"Shio!" she cried excitedly. "Myoga-han's nearby!"

"Who?" he asked.

"You remember! He's Inu Yasha's flea!" she said. "And he's also MY fiancé!"

"Oh yeah," he said. "I didn't know you had a fiancé!"

"Yes, it's true." She said sadly. "But he's always having affairs with woman. I'm so lonely and still a virgin at my age!" she shook her head in sorrow.

"That's sad." He said. He thought for a few seconds then remembered, "Well we're about due for visiting Inu Yasha, maybe you can make Myoga stay with you or something."

"MAKE?! Are you saying I'll have to MAKE him stay with me?!" she burst into tears.

"No, no! That's not what I meant!" he sweatdropped and waved his other hand at her. "I just meant that you can convince him to marry you or something! Yeah!" he smiled a sexy smile and said. "Hey! You're MY flea remember! Like me, you can seduce ANYONE!"

She stopped crying in shock then blushed insanely. "Oh no! Not me!"=^^=

"You can do it, Suyoga, you're the sexiest flea I've ever seen!" he said trying to cheer her up. Though she was an old lady, and a flea.

"Oh, STOP!!" =^_^= she laughed and blushed deeper. Then she looked scared for a second and jumped into his hair. "Shio! Someone's coming!" she whispered.

He sniffed the air and turned to see Kikyo walking toward him. He stared at her for a few seconds then thought. 'I think I've seen her before.'

'......................'

'Oh yeah!' he looked upward and smiled as he always did when he thought of past fun. 'She was a whore I met by the coast once!' he smiled looking back over at Kikyo. He opened his legs then remembered something else which caused his smile to disappear. 'She wasn't very good.'

He looked down, disappointedly, 'If I remember, I paid her to leave after the first few minutes.' He sighed and closed his legs. He looked over at her a little bit upset. 'She's not back for more is she? I hope not. But if she is, then what can I say,"

He stood up as she approached and straightened himself up. "I aim to please."

He leaned against the tree and leaned against the tree like the sex symbol he was and nodded to her as she stopped ten feet away. "Hey! How you doin'?" he nodded. He pushed away from the tree and stood like he was actually interested. "Here for a little ride?" he asked thrusting his hips forward.

Kikyo pulled out an arrow and loaded her bow. Shio's eyes grew with realization as she pointed it at him. He sweat dropped and smiled nervously, "I-guess not!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Translations:

Shio: Salt

Okay. What was the point of writing that one translation?