*Note 1* No I'm not exactly a Matchbox Twenty fan. Just came across the song and think it sort of tells the story of Spike's psychology, and thus the original song-fic idea. But the muse is changing, and I don't know how this is gonna end up. Really...

*Note 2* I know this kind of stories has been done a zillion times and it's starting to sound lame, but I just realize how fun it is to write one myself so that I can twist and torment the characters any way I want. Ha, just love playing god!

*Disclaimer* Don't own anything. So don't sue! BtVS belongs to Joss the Almighty and his pals. Matchbox Twenty belongs to Matchbox Twenty. Their song belongs to them. I'm just taking a stroll in their little world. No harm intended.



---------- PREVIOUSLY IN MY LITTLE FANTASY WORLD ----------

"I came from an alternate universe." I said.

"Bloody hell. Another one?" Spike cried out in annoyance.

"Plus if no one watches the show in my universe, then your world will probably cease to exist long before 2 months from now. Oops, forget what I just said."





---------- HI, MY NAME IS ----------



"Two months what? What's gonna happen in two months?" Buffy questioned in alert.

"Noth...nothing." Intimidated, I stuttered on an answer I hoped vague enough. "I don't know. Joss keeps things really secret these days."

"But why two months? You must know SOMETHING." Ignoring my reluctance to elaborate on my statement, the slayer pressed on.

"Well, there are the spoilers, and the fact that a season always ends in the end of May. It's common sense."

"So in two months this battle will be over?" Anya suggested optimistically. "And we're gonna win coz we're the main characters right?"

"I don't know." I said. Well, now THAT was a big lie. All of us who read spoilers knew that some really bad things are going to happen on the show, and the show's going for good this time after the finale. But guess I can't tell them that. "Even if I do, I can't tell. You know there's the timeline contamination thing. Like Back To The Future, or more like the Temporal Directive."

"To hell with it." Buffy growled, looking as if she was going to explode.

"Ooo... Captain Janeway!" Andrew muttered as he drew a reference out of his sci-fi repertoire.

"Look." The slayer continued. "We have a huge battle coming up here, and you better tell us what you know." I shuddered and retreated a few steps back.

"Don't be so tough on the girl, Buffy." Spike said in my defense. "Just let it go." I signaled a silent thank you to the vampire in response to his rescue.

"Let..." Buffy halted and let out a sigh. "Fine. Let's change the subject then. We'll talk about you. We now know you're from another universe. What else can you tell us? About you, I mean."

"Well, I can start with Hi, I'm Zena." I said with a wave to the crowd, just like the way Buffy introduced herself to Willow back in season one. "I'm from Canada. I'm a miserable university student who has absolutely no life and no money. I have a fixation on watching Smallville, Gilmore Girls, and BtVS, that's you guys by the way, on TV. Okay that doesn't sound right, and I'm hungry." Then I pointed to a plate by the stove. "Is it okay if I have some of that?" But after taking a better look at what was in it, I hesitated and asked, "that IS food right?"

"yeah, funnel cake. I made them." Andrew replied proudly. "You know, these people here have no gratitude at all to the fact that I bake for them. I mean, I have had lots of practice since I got my ass kicked by funnel cake a couple of weeks back, but they don't care. They still think I'm trying to poison them, even after I told them last time was an accident." He complained in a whisper while passing me a serving of his 'masterpiece'.

Okay, I thought to myself, that was probably my concussion not Andrew talking. There was no mentioning of the word 'poison'. It was all in my head. This 'cake' is edible. But when I caught the box of Cheerios Rona shoved into my chest, I changed my mind, abandoned the plate of 'funnel cake' and went for the safer choice.

As I cheerfully munched on my Cheerios, Vi wondered out loud curiously. "So what's an alternate universe? Does it have anything to do with the hellmouth?"

"Dunno about the hellmouth part, but an alternate universe is something like a parallel dimension where the same people exist but play different roles. Like in my world, you are all characters on the show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer played by actors who look exactly like you. I would give you some examples, but Spike pretty much gave out all the best ones."

"So you know all of us?"

"Most of you. There're some potentials I don't think their names ever came up." I began by pointing at Buffy, then moved my finger to another, and another. "Buffy, Giles, Spike. Xander, Anya, and Dawn." Then I went on to name the potentials, "Kennedy, Rona, Vi, Molly, Amanda." I paused and looked around. "For the ones who're here, that's all I know." Then I added, "I also know who Angel and Drusilla are. Oz, Riley, Tara, Faith, and Willow. Oh and Wesley and Cordy. The good old times. And Snyder! He was funny! And I just ran out of fingers."

The girls chuckled at my comment. Then a thought struck me. "Speaking of Willow, is she still in LA?"

"Wow, you know THAT too?" Kennedy asked. "Then you should know what she's doing all the way over there?" That must be a question everyone wanted an answer for, because all the eyes were now locked on me.

"Well, yeah. But I think it'd be better if she tells you herself. You know, first person, third person." I pointed at the imaginary Willow then myself as I explained. "Plus I'm a terrible story teller."

"And you know that because..."

"Because I'm an engineer! Everyone knows that engineers can't write. Plus I know I wirte bad poetry. I'd say along the line of 'from twixt it's wee beak'. THAT was bloody awful." With that comment went another evil grin of mine to the blond vampire.

"Were you born this big a pain in the ass?" Spike resented. The others looked completely confused. Of course, they didn't know about the poem.

"What can I say, baby? I've always been bad." I gave him another evil grin.

"Oh bugger!" Spike rolled his eyes in embarrassment, while Dawn and the potentials burst into giggles.

At the same moment, a voice came from behind me. "Nei dei cho mud yeah? Nei gore bin gore lay ga? Hi my yau yau gwai?" (What are you doing? Who is this? Is it the flashcard monsters again?)

"Hi Chao Ahn." I turned and greeted her.

"Morning Chao Ahn. Would you like some milk and cereal for breakfast?" Giles kindly offered her a glass of milk, but all he got for reply was an irritated look on the oriental potential.

"Nei yau sheung mou say ngo? Doh wah ng yum duck ngau nai. Ngo wui ng shu folk!" (Are you really trying to kill me? I told you I'm lactose intolerant. I'll get sick!)

Giles let out a sigh as he translated her words, "She said it's still too early for food."

"Oh mercy, Giles!" Now it was me who rolled my eyes. "Stop offering her any more dairy product. She's lactose intolerant, for Christ's sake!" I paused for a second and then add, "and those flash cards? You're terrible Giles! Funny, but terrible!"

"You speak Chinese?" Giles' eyes flashed as a thread of fresh hope sparked.

"Two dialects." I thought for a while then I continued. "Hey, what about this? You guys let me stay here for a while and I'll be your translator." I threw a glance at Giles and added, "I really can't stand Giles slaughtering the Chinese language anymore. You know she thinks you're trying to murder her with milk right?" Everybody, even the tensed Buffy and the cool Spike, burst into laughter while Giles blushed in embarrassment.

However, Buffy still wasn't entirely convinced. So I quickly extended my offer. "Plus I might be able to help with Xander's repair work and Dawn's research. Oh, and I'm an okay cook too!" I tossed a look at the plate of 'funnel cake' to remind them of their REAL situation.

Eyes sparkled in the mention of food and finally Buffy surrendered, "Alright, you can stay with us until Willow comes back. Then we'll decide whether or not we have to send you back."

"I think I can settle for that." I smiled at my triumph, thinking, I have three weeks before Willow comes back with Faith. that's plenty of time to think up a plan.

"Does she really think that I was trying to kill her? With milk? Oh heavens." I wish you could've seen it, the expression on Giles' face was just priceless!





*End Note 1 - Ok, This story is getting really stupid...I'm definitely hating myself now. Ok I'll get into the moping and sulking process...*

*End Note 2 - It's true when I say I can't stand Giles slaughtering the Chinese language. I laughed so hard when watching the ep. But the funnier thing is, Chao Ahn slaughtered even more Chinese than Giles did, for her accent is as fake as James' British accent! The sad part is, James' accent actually sounds British, while Chao Ahn's sounds like she's choking! God plz save me!*