Disclaimer: I don't own these characters…more's the pity.

~

Daniel opened his eyes. "Not again," he groaned, taking in the familiar serenity of the landscape. He heard a sob next to him and turned to see a girl, face in hands, shaking her head in despair.

"Back again, Daniel?" asked a friendly voice. Looking up again, Daniel saw another familiar form striding toward him through the ankle high green grass.

"Certainly seems that way," he said as the man stopped a few feet away.

"At this rate, I'm never going to get my wings," the girl next him moaned softly.

"Sorry," he mumbled guiltily, turning to face his young guardian angel again.

"Come now, Tia," said the man cheerfully. "All in good time." Daniel sighed. This scene was terribly familiar.

The man, dressed in a long white robe, clapped him amiably on the shoulder. "Why don't you two come inside and show me how you died this time? I'm sure it was as original as the last several times." Tia moaned again, causing Daniel to cringe. It really wasn't the fault of his fledgling guardian angel that he was so insistent on dying every few months, but she seemed to take it harder each time.

"Come along," said the man, wrapping a fatherly arm around the girl, who was wearing a robe similar to his own aside from its pale blue cast.

The older angel ushered the pair into a small, one room cottage complete with roaring fire and - seeing as this was Paradise - a cup of steaming coffee for Daniel. They all found seats in over stuffed chairs near the fire surrounding a small, well polished table. Tia curled her one leg under herself and hugged the other knee to her chest, looking more miserable than anyone Daniel had ever seen before in his life. He took a long sip of coffee.

The older angel smiled down at Tia for a moment before winking at Daniel and intoning formally, "Welcome to the Gatehouse, Daniel Jackson…again."

"Thanks," said Daniel without much enthusiasm. Tia sniffled. Instinctively, Daniel reached for the pocket where he always stashed a few Kleenex. Only to find himself wearing a robe similar to the ones worn by the two angels. Oh yes, Paradise…everything else was still floating around in the physical universe somewhere. A slow smile spread across his face as he took a deep, sneeze free breath full of pleasant floral scents. No allergies in Paradise.

"I suppose we should probably get on with this before you end up being resurrected again," said the older angel, sounding slightly disapproving.

He passed a hand over the small table and an image flickered to life in the air above it…

(*)

A lone figure sits, scratching figures on the dusty ground, in the middle of an immense plain. A large, well stuffed backpack is nearby, leaning against a large rock. The figure sighs and, dusting away several lines of his scratchings, stares at the book resting in his lap for a moment before beginning new scratchings.

[Why are you alone in the middle of an alien world?]

[It wasn't on purpose…I sort of tripped, and when I woke up the others were gone.]

[That's what happens when you try to run for your life and read at the same time.]

[Hush, Tia…What exactly are you doing, Daniel?]

[Ah…well, working on a translation for an ancient dialect loosely based on Celtic that we'd found earlier this week.]

[Hope it was worth it.]

[Tia!]

A slight tremor shakes the great plain, but Daniel, immersed in his symbols and syntax, barely notices, except to re-draw an accent the shaking had erased. Perhaps if he just replaced this verb form with the present tense…

The backpack falls over, spilling what must be several tons of books and notes onto the dusty ground. Mumbling, Daniel climbs to his feet and clamors over to stuff everything back inside. Suddenly, and because Daniel is one of those people who never gets a nice, unsuspecting death, he catches sight of a large dust cloud in the distance. Frowning, he looks across the grassy plain for a sign of a breeze or wind. Nothing. Realization dawns.

Grabbing the pack, he looks desperately for somewhere to hide. The dust cloud, now only a few kilometers away, resolves itself into a massive herd of quadrupeds, all quite intent on running down anything in their path.

Daniel spies a large rock formation in the distance. Maybe, if he could make it there in time, he could climb to safety. He starts running, scratchings forgotten.

He reaches the formation only minutes before the quadruped herd - who all quite definitely have claws and very large feet - catch up to him. As he begins to climb, he finds himself wishing it was much, much higher.

About halfway up, his bag falls open and a few books spill out. Cursing, he glances back up at the herd. Still a minute off…probably. Against all common sense, he dives for the books and - of course - slips.

[It's never easy with you, is it, Daniel?]

[He's got no survival instinct at all!]

[Correct me if I'm wrong, Tia, but aren't you supposed to be his survival instinct?]

[I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to forget the shoddy books!]

[Daniel?]

[Well…]

The herd is moving faster then he thought.

When they arrive, he's hanging by one foot from the rock formation, head at quadruped knee height…well, at first, anyway.

(*)

The image shimmered out of existence.

"So Daniel," said the elderly angel conversationally. "Any hindsight on diving after books when being charged by a stampeding herd of rather large creatures?"

Daniel refrained from comment.

"What about you, Tia?"

She glared at Daniel. "He heard everything I had to say in the twenty seconds he spent hanging upside down from the rocks."

"Tia! You know that death is a very important moment in a mortal's existence, how could you infringe on it by scolding him?"

Tia shrugged, pulling herself into a more upright position. "He's had plenty of nice deaths. I thought that maybe, if I yelled loud enough, he'd get it right next time."

"Perhaps. However, despite his previous record, there is no guarantee that he will be brought back to life this time around. He's already had more than his share of resurrections, after all."

"Under normal circumstances, perhaps," she agreed. "But this is Daniel Jackson…I'd give him," she eyed him critically, "a few hours to two days - tops - before he's back in the mortal universe, trying to get himself killed again."

"Don't you think that's a little unfair?" interrupted Daniel. The two angels paused, the elder giving him a level stare and the younger a look of blatant disbelief.

"You've been here how many times in the last few years?" Tia asked.

"Well…"

"And how many times do you think the average human stops by Paradise for a cup of coffee and a nice chat?" she continued, not even pausing. "Once, Daniel! But not my mortal, oh no, he has to drop in every few months for a cup of jo and a quick viewing of his latest death before he's off to cause himself more harm! Not to mention the ridiculous -"

"Tia, that's quite enough," said the older angel in a very calm voice before turning to Daniel. "You will have to forgive her, Daniel. She has been under quite a bit of stress lately, what with one thing and another. She is not normally…oh dear, here we go again." The last as Daniel momentarily shimmered before vanishing from his chair, his half-full coffee cup landing on its base where he had been sitting (no spills or stains in Paradise). The two angels stared at the chair for a moment.

"I suppose you should be hurrying along, then. No telling where he'll wake up," said the older angel.

"He'll be fine for a few minutes. Even Daniel can't…well, he probably could, but if he does there's not much I can do at this point," Tia said, waving a hand dismissively. "I think we need to talk about a more…solid arrangement for my guardianship of him."

"Solid?" asked the elderly angel suspiciously.

"Yes, as in flesh and blood solid," said Tia. "So that, when I scream at him to stop something, he knows it's me."

"That's no guarantee that he will listen."

"No," said Tia with relish. "But another nice thing about being solid is the ability to beat someone over the head with the obvious…physically."

~

NB: This is my first attempt at a Stargate fic, so if anyone seems out of character or I mix up my facts, please let me know! And I've only seen the first two seasons, so this is set in the late second season. If anyone would like more, I'll post the next chapter (a guardian angel in the SGC?). Thanks!