Chapter one.

Orks left and right, Aragorn, with a war cry threw himself into the battle.

Legolas, snarling in concentration, let fly an arrow, straight between the eyes of an ork advancing on Gimli.

Frodo held his breath, he could feel the ring pulling at him, begging him to slide it over his finger, that everything would be right if he did. Sam was holding onto him, keeping him sane.

"Hold on Mr Frodo"

Merry and Pippin were crouched, frozen beside them.

"Just stay quiet" Sam hissed to them. They nodded, pale faced.

Aragorn coughed as a knee slammed into his stomach, the orks were gaining control. Snarling he charged upwards, slicing through the black bodies.

Suddenly a sword, aimed right at his heart, swung out of nowhere.

The next second a flash of light was all he saw, convinced this was his death he closed his eyes.

*

Dr Evil laughed evilly

"And the best part is, no one can stop me, not even. Austin Powers" suddenly the room was full of AOS (armed offenders squad)

"Doctor Evil! You're surrounded"

Dr Evil lowered his little finger "Shit" there was a pause as Dr Evil hit a small red button on his desk, that had no effect other than to activate some getaway music "Come Minime, let's run"

The next second there was a flash of light. Laughing evilly from pure habit, with bad hillbilly music ringing in his ears, Dr Evil and Minime, disappeared.

*

I yawned and rubbed my eyes, the mug of milo in my hand steaming. I scratched the back of my head and toddled sleepily over to start up the computer.

"Tania, you up yet?" Aisling asked

I grunted in answer as my best friend wandered into the living room. "Yup"

Aisling, wearing a dressing gown, like myself, came up behind me "Who's gonna make breakfast?" Both our parents were away for the week, so we had the run of Aisling's house, which, for a pair of sixteen year olds with access to the net, the food supply, and the grog cabinet was probably not as wise as our parents believed it to be, despite how well behaved we pretended to be. ^_~

I stood up, letting the computer heat up and wandered through the second living room to the kitchen, however, before I got there. A huge flash of light slammed into my eyes. I stumbled backwards, nearly spilling steaming milo over my front.

A second later I heard male yelling. And as my vision returned I saw two men and a short creature charging at me. With swords.

I screamed and ducked. "FUUUUUCK!!!"

There was suddenly silence. I raised my head. The closest man was staring at me, his sword still raised

"Who are you?"

I blinked

"Aragorn?"

He jumped "How did you know my name?" I straightened up, my eyes wider than the rest of my face. Reaching past his sword I poked him in the chin. He flinched and jerked his head away

"Are you.Real?" I muttered, kneeling down to poke him in the knee. He jerked away.

"Surely she is a sorceress" said a familiar voice

I suddenly noticed Legolas, staring at me with wide respectful eyes, his blonde hair looking rather dirty in the early morning light (by early morning I mean before eleven thirty) Aragorn suddenly knelt down before me as I straightened up, and offered his sword, hilt first

"I thank you"

I blinked. Convinced I was dreaming. "What for?" I asked. He frowned

"For saving us from certain death of course" he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I nodded slowly "Ok, I'm dreaming"

"What?" Legolas asked, stepping closer to me, and then sinking to his knees as his eyes fell on the steaming mug in my hand.

"I beg you, we meant not to insult you. Forgive us" taking the hint, the dwarf, Gimli, I believe his name was, dropped also to one knee

"Ah.yeah..sure, right" I said, nodding slowly.

"What of our friends?" Aragorn asked, his blue eyes narrowing with concern

I frowned "Your friends?"

"Four hobbits were with us, they would be but children to your eyes" he said. My eyes widened in realization

"Hold on a second" I moved around to the kitchen table and bent down, to find myself staring at four terrified hobbits. "Are these your friends?"

Aragorn came to kneel beside me, giving me a view of his profile. I suddenly heard a scream and straightened up so fast I hit my head on the table with dizzying force. Aragorn was running beside me as I whirled around and sprinted for the first living room.

The dwarf was standing in the center of the room, growling as Aisling fended him off with a baseball bat that had been sitting by the computer for six months

"Tania!" she half screamed. I glanced at Aragorn, then Legolas behind me, and groaned in defeat

"Aisling," I said softly, moving to stand beside her, "They won't hurt us, hell, they think we're sorceresses" she raised an eyebrow at me as if I were nuts, but dropped the bat anyway.

"Um, right, I guess, until this whole psychotic episode is over, we'll just have to make sure they stay inside" she said dazedly

"They brought the hobbits with them" I muttered. She spat filthy word. "Um, are you hungry?" I asked. Taking the bat and replacing it beside the computer, I prayed I would not need it again.

"Yes! We haven't eaten all day!" I picked up the voice of Sam. Who was standing in the doorway, with Frodo, Pippin and Merry.

"Ok.right, well we were just about to make breakfast"

Aisling nodded quickly

"So, um, well, you guys stay here-and don't touch anything.you know it.might.blow up or..something.and we'll.be back with your..your food"

Then we bolted.