Starting Over
Waiting for it to Subside
The next morning Satine walked into the dining room bleary-eyed. She was shocked to see Christian sitting there already. He stared at his plate, refusing to look up. After he had left last night he hadn't returned. Satine had stayed awake all night waiting for him to come back. Christian didn't have a good night either. After everyone had gone to bed he had crept up from his hideout in the study and sat outside his and Satine's bedroom door. He couldn't get the courage to go in.
'Good morning, Satine.' Kathleen smiled pleasantly at her daughter-in-law. Satine forced her lips upwards.
'Good morning, Kathleen.' She said sweetly, sliding gracefully in next to Christian. Christian glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, hoping that she was looking at him. She wasnt, she was smiling politely at Jeremy as he entered.
'Good morning everyone.' He said as he sat down.
'Good morning.' Everyone chorused. He lifted his knife and fork as an indication everyone should start.
'Can you pass me the water jug, please?' Satine asked. Christian picked it up and placed it in front of her, not once looking in her direction. Phyl watched them. This was not normal for them. Normally if she wanted him to pass her something she would whisper it in his ear and then he would pass it, allowing their hands to touch during the transaction. Also during meal times they would exchange tender looks or whisper to each other or hold hands momentarily. This morning they were even leaning away from each other.
***
Once breakfast was finished Lily came in and began clearing the plates. Christian stood up and walked out without so much as a passing glance at Satine. Phyl, who had been sitting on Christian's other side slid into his chair.
'What's going on?' She hissed.
'I don't know what you're talking about.' Satine said innocently. She quickly made her escape to the bathroom where she washed her face with cold water. On leaving, she ran into Phyl and Christian who were standing at the top of the stairs near her bedroom door. They stopped talking when they saw her.
'What are you doing?' This question was aimed at Phyl.
'Oh, we were about to explore the attic. My uncle used to own the house before us and there is apparently some of his things still up there. 'Do you want to help?' Satine looked at Christian who was looking at the carpet, making a pattern in it with his shoe.
'Um, no thank you.' Satine said and walked down the stairs. They heard the front door open and then close. Phyl turned to look at Christian. He couldn't look at her. Why had he let things get so bad? She couldn't even face to be in the same room as him unless absolutely necessary. He didn't mean it to happen. The moment she got back in he would go and apologise to her. He knew her so well that he expected her back in about an hour or two.
***
At five o'clock in the afternoon, Christian was sitting on the settee in the living room. One eye on the clock and the other on the window. Phyl, Peter and James walked past on their way to tea.
'What's he doing?' James asked.
'Waiting for Satine. He's getting quite worried now.'
'Christian, are you coming for tea?' Peter called. Christian looked at him as if he were crazy. 'I guess not.' Christian sighed and turned back to his watching. Where was she? Had he driven her away for good? It had been rainign all day. She was probably soaking wet.
'Christian?' He was roused from his trance and looked at the door. His mother was standing there. 'It's tea time.'
'But Satine...'
'Will be fine. Now come and eat. A watched pot never boils.' When he made no movement she went over to him, grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the dining room.
***
Satine sat down on the side of the path, not caring about the rain. She was already dripping wet and a bit more wouldn't make much of a difference. A couple ran past her laughing and joking. The man had taken his coat off and had placed it over the two of them as they rushed to get out of the rain. Christian would have done that, Satine thought bitterly. But now she wasn't so sure if he even loved her anymore. She'd seen the way he had looked at her. Then she remembered the way he used to look at her. Always smiling, his eyes shining. He always made her happy and in a crowded room she could always feel him watching her. Not out of jealousy but out of love. Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered the good times and thinking that she was never going to experience them again.
'Mind if I sit here?' A voice asked. Satine looked up. Christian smiled down at her. Satine smiled back and patted the ground next to her. Christian sat down. 'Ah, nice and wet.' Satine giggled. He always made jokes to try and make the situation seem better than it really was. 'I thought I'd find you here....Hey, you're crying.' He exclaimed as he gently wiped them away with his thumb.
'I-It's nothing.' Satine said, taking her hankie out and dabbing her eyes.
'I know you're crying because of me. I know I've hurt you.'
'No, no. I've hurt you.' Satine looked at him. 'I'm sorry for....what happened.'
'Sssh.' Christian took her hand in his. 'It's not your fault. You didn't know you were pregnant so don't blame yourself.'
'But....' Satine's protest was silenced by Christian's finger on her lips. He leaned slowly towards her, taking it away. She closed her eyes and melted into him as his lips touched hers. She knew that Christian loved her. He always had done and he always would.
The next morning Satine walked into the dining room bleary-eyed. She was shocked to see Christian sitting there already. He stared at his plate, refusing to look up. After he had left last night he hadn't returned. Satine had stayed awake all night waiting for him to come back. Christian didn't have a good night either. After everyone had gone to bed he had crept up from his hideout in the study and sat outside his and Satine's bedroom door. He couldn't get the courage to go in.
'Good morning, Satine.' Kathleen smiled pleasantly at her daughter-in-law. Satine forced her lips upwards.
'Good morning, Kathleen.' She said sweetly, sliding gracefully in next to Christian. Christian glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, hoping that she was looking at him. She wasnt, she was smiling politely at Jeremy as he entered.
'Good morning everyone.' He said as he sat down.
'Good morning.' Everyone chorused. He lifted his knife and fork as an indication everyone should start.
'Can you pass me the water jug, please?' Satine asked. Christian picked it up and placed it in front of her, not once looking in her direction. Phyl watched them. This was not normal for them. Normally if she wanted him to pass her something she would whisper it in his ear and then he would pass it, allowing their hands to touch during the transaction. Also during meal times they would exchange tender looks or whisper to each other or hold hands momentarily. This morning they were even leaning away from each other.
***
Once breakfast was finished Lily came in and began clearing the plates. Christian stood up and walked out without so much as a passing glance at Satine. Phyl, who had been sitting on Christian's other side slid into his chair.
'What's going on?' She hissed.
'I don't know what you're talking about.' Satine said innocently. She quickly made her escape to the bathroom where she washed her face with cold water. On leaving, she ran into Phyl and Christian who were standing at the top of the stairs near her bedroom door. They stopped talking when they saw her.
'What are you doing?' This question was aimed at Phyl.
'Oh, we were about to explore the attic. My uncle used to own the house before us and there is apparently some of his things still up there. 'Do you want to help?' Satine looked at Christian who was looking at the carpet, making a pattern in it with his shoe.
'Um, no thank you.' Satine said and walked down the stairs. They heard the front door open and then close. Phyl turned to look at Christian. He couldn't look at her. Why had he let things get so bad? She couldn't even face to be in the same room as him unless absolutely necessary. He didn't mean it to happen. The moment she got back in he would go and apologise to her. He knew her so well that he expected her back in about an hour or two.
***
At five o'clock in the afternoon, Christian was sitting on the settee in the living room. One eye on the clock and the other on the window. Phyl, Peter and James walked past on their way to tea.
'What's he doing?' James asked.
'Waiting for Satine. He's getting quite worried now.'
'Christian, are you coming for tea?' Peter called. Christian looked at him as if he were crazy. 'I guess not.' Christian sighed and turned back to his watching. Where was she? Had he driven her away for good? It had been rainign all day. She was probably soaking wet.
'Christian?' He was roused from his trance and looked at the door. His mother was standing there. 'It's tea time.'
'But Satine...'
'Will be fine. Now come and eat. A watched pot never boils.' When he made no movement she went over to him, grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the dining room.
***
Satine sat down on the side of the path, not caring about the rain. She was already dripping wet and a bit more wouldn't make much of a difference. A couple ran past her laughing and joking. The man had taken his coat off and had placed it over the two of them as they rushed to get out of the rain. Christian would have done that, Satine thought bitterly. But now she wasn't so sure if he even loved her anymore. She'd seen the way he had looked at her. Then she remembered the way he used to look at her. Always smiling, his eyes shining. He always made her happy and in a crowded room she could always feel him watching her. Not out of jealousy but out of love. Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered the good times and thinking that she was never going to experience them again.
'Mind if I sit here?' A voice asked. Satine looked up. Christian smiled down at her. Satine smiled back and patted the ground next to her. Christian sat down. 'Ah, nice and wet.' Satine giggled. He always made jokes to try and make the situation seem better than it really was. 'I thought I'd find you here....Hey, you're crying.' He exclaimed as he gently wiped them away with his thumb.
'I-It's nothing.' Satine said, taking her hankie out and dabbing her eyes.
'I know you're crying because of me. I know I've hurt you.'
'No, no. I've hurt you.' Satine looked at him. 'I'm sorry for....what happened.'
'Sssh.' Christian took her hand in his. 'It's not your fault. You didn't know you were pregnant so don't blame yourself.'
'But....' Satine's protest was silenced by Christian's finger on her lips. He leaned slowly towards her, taking it away. She closed her eyes and melted into him as his lips touched hers. She knew that Christian loved her. He always had done and he always would.
