The Second Vincent Valentine Song

By Charles Xavier

"Hey, Tifa. What are you watching?" Cloud walked into the living room to find Tifa sitting in the couch, her eyes glued to the TV set. And out of the blue, he was surprised to see the Shinra mansion in Nibelheim being shown on the screen. "Say. Isn't that Vincent's house?"

"Cloud, didn't you know he and Yuffie have a sitcom now?" Tifa frowned at him. "It's on every Friday night!"

Cloud was hoping they'd watch some anime instead, but Tifa seemed so eager to watch this program instead.

"Whatever, Tifs." Cloud shrugged his shoulders and sat down beside her.

(Music theme starts playing)

He's creepy and he's kooky,

Mysterious and spooky,

He surely is a hunky!

It's Vincent Valentine!

His house is like a museum,

Where Yuffie comes to see him.

She really gets him screamin'!

He's Vincent Valentine!

"Wow." Tifa's eyes widened. "I didn't know Yuffie really liked Vincent."

The camera zoomed inside the mansion, to show Yuffie grinning stupidly and waving her arms at her viewers. She was constantly pulling Vincent into the camera screen along with her. Vincent on the other hand wished not to be revealed to everyone watching and tried all he could to sneak away.

"Yuffie…please let go of me…this is embarrassing…" Vincent whispered in Yuffie's ear. "I didn't want to be on TV with you…"

So get your loaded shotgun,

A Chocobo you can ride on.

We're gonna pay a call on,

That Vincent Valentine!

Cloud couldn't take this program anymore. He saw how painful it was for Vincent to stand with Yuffie in front of the TV. He snatched the remote from the table and tried to switch to another channel. Unfortunately, every channel had the same little ninja running around Vincent's house.

He's creepy and he's kooky,

Mysterious and spooky,

He surely is a hunky!

It's Vincent Valentine!

"This is torture I tell you, Tifa! Torture!" Cloud suddenly ran through the wall and dashed outside to the other houses screaming like a headless chicken. "TORTURE! AAAA!!!!! HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! HAAAA!!!!!!"

"Sometimes I think Cloud worries too much about his friends." Tifa sighed.