Non Sum Qualis Eram part 15
By Ecri
See Part One for Disclaimer and Spoilers.
Newport Beach, Orange County, CA
Toby's Hotel Room
Toby went through his notes yet again. He'd finished with the speech hours ago, but he couldn't stop reading the notes, shuffling the papers, and playing with the phrasing in his mind.
He had turned on CNN, but the volume was low. If they mentioned Sam, he'd hear it.
Room service had deposited three beers with him earlier in the evening, and he was nursing the last one. How had he ended up here? There was no way Sam Seaborn could win the California 47th, yet that was what Toby wanted him to do. That was what Toby found himself trying to do.
The truth was, Toby liked winning. He hadn't done much of it in his career, but he'd gotten a taste of it with President Bartlet's campaigns. In the end, however, Toby wanted Sam to win, not for his own sake, but for Sam's. Sam had lost a lot of himself during the last few years since the MS had come out, and now, here, campaigning in the county that had once been his home, Toby had been privileged to see Sam Seaborn come alive again. There were still moments, Toby knew, where Sam was lost in the past, where he was reliving things he couldn't control, and torturing himself because these things had ended badly, but on the whole, Sam was so much more himself now.
Toby wasn't sure if four years as his deputy had been good to the younger man. He saw Sam's idealism was still there, but it was tempered with pragmatism. His loyalty was still there, but it was tempered with an underlying suspicion. At least, it had been in Washington.
"Maybe it's the sunshine." Toby downed the last of his beer. Sam had unraveled before his eyes, and he had never noticed until the younger man had begun to pull himself back together. Maybe they had all unraveled and that was what had kept him from seeing it. Maybe Sam was just happy to be home.
He glanced at his watch. It was after 1:00 AM. His bleary eyes told him to go to bed, but his tired limbs didn't want to bother moving. Forcing himself up, he made himself a promise. Sam Seaborn would win.
**
Air Force One
January 28
Jed Bartlet could tell he didn't have an attentive audience, so he stopped speaking and waited for someone on his staff to notice.
Two minutes later, CJ looked up, confused, and Bartlet caught her eye. She had the grace to look embarrassed, but Bartlet smiled, and let her off the hook. "It's okay, CJ. What were you thinking about?"
Maybe it was the lateness of the hour, or the fact that she hadn't talked to anyone about any of this, but for some reason, she answered honestly. "Sam. The campaign. That we could have lost him last month. That I don't want to go to anymore funerals."
Jed nodded. "I know how you feel, Claudia Jean. We are doing our best to keep all of you safe.
"I know that, sir."
"Sam's campaign, how do you read the numbers?"
"Well, the best polls show him trailing by 5 points. I never would have imagined it could be that close. Toby's really turned the campaign around."
"Do you think he will win?"
"I'd like him to win."
"Wouldn't we all?"
Something in the way he said it, or maybe it was the gleam in his eye, made her wonder out loud. "Sir, do you think he'll win?"
Jed Bartlet smiled the same smile she'd seem on his face the night he was asked if he'd run for reelection. She felt a shiver run down her spine.
"I do indeed, CJ. I do indeed."
**
Seaborn for Congress Rally
Orange County, CA
Charlie watched from the wings as President Bartlet raised Sam Seaborn's hand above his head, calling for him to be the next Congressman for the California 47th. Charlie suppressed a smile. The President could be exceptionally exuberant when he believed in someone, and he truly believed in Sam Seaborn.
While Charlie watched, he sensed someone coming up next to him. He spared a glance, then a word. "Hi, Toby. How's the campaign going?"
"Hey, Charlie. We've got better numbers that we should. Of course that was before you people closed down the 5, the 55, and the 405. What are you trying to do, sabotage us?"
Charlie grinned. "Well, I heard the President wants his Communications Staff back."
Toby laughed. "He may only get one of us back."
"That might be all right with him."
They watched the President speak, as Sam headed off stage. Seeing Charlie, he smiled.
"Hey, Charlie! How are you?"
"Good. How about you?"
"Busy, you know."
"Deanna says hi. She was really upset when you got hurt last month."
"Thanks, say hi for me. Tell her I got her card. That was sweet."
"Oh, yeah, I meant to mention to you, the next time you send my sister flowers, you tell me first."
"It was a congratulations for that Championship game."
"I know, but she's got boys sniffing around her now, andit just might be better if you give me a warning."
"She let you think they were from a boyfriend."
"For a week and a half. I couldn't figure out which one."
"How'd you figure out they were from me?"
"I was so upset, she thought I was going to have a stroke, so she showed me the card. You don't want me to go through that again."
"Whatever you say."
"I know." Charlie smiled to let Sam know he was kidding. He had long admired Sam Seaborn. He'd been touched by the man's words during his job interview with Josh Lyman. Charlie still smiled, when he didn't laugh out loud, when he thought of that interview. Josh had him flustered, and, looking back, he knew that the Deputy Chief of Staff had enjoyed every minute of it. Sam had walked in and not only defended Charlie's rights, but offered to help him sue the White House. At the time, he'd assumed Sam had been joking, but after he got to know him, he realized Sam Seaborn never joked about a person's rights.
Over the years, he had become something of a fly on the wall. It was the nature of the job. In doing that job, he'd traveled all over the world, met all kinds of people in all walks of life from homeless people to kings and dignitaries. In all that time, and all those circumstances, he'd learned many things, but the one thing he knew without a doubt was that there were few men in the world, let alone in politics, who were as honest and dependable as Sam Seaborn. He'd defend you with his dying breath, and he didn't even have to agree with you. He'd take the blame for things not his fault if it were the expedient thing to do. He'd quit his job and leave the good life just to try to make the world a better place.
Of all the people he knew, Sam was one of the ones he most wished his mom had met.
**
The Four Seasons Hotel
Newport Beach, Orange County, CA
Toby handed a beer to Josh and one to Sam before cracking one open for himself.
"I don't know what you're upset about, Toby." Josh took a long pull on his beer before continuing. "The evening went well."
"Fairly well. It might have done Sam more good if you hadn't closed down three major arteries in the middle of rush hour. AND" he paused and turned his full ire on his protégé. "If Sam hadn't crushed his political career beneath the wheels of the Bartlet Fiscal Plan!"
"I didn't do it. It's not my fault!" Josh wanted to make that perfectly clear.
Sam laughed. "We established that, buddy."
Josh turned startled eyes on his friend. Sam hadn't called him that in ages. Wait. Had Sam ever called him that? He considered it a bad sign that he couldn't remember. Either he was getting senile at an early age, or he and Sam hadn't had enough casual conversations lately for him to retain the sort of vocabulary Sam favored. Both thoughts scared him, though not as much as the last time he'd been in town.
After Sam's release from the hospital, Sam had been a little less himself than usual. The First Lady had explained it away as a reaction to the painkillers or perhaps to the shock of having been stabbed. Josh could identify with all of that, so he'd stopped by Sam's office one last time before catching a taxi back to the airport to fly home.
That's when Josh had first realized that the bulk of Sam's staff wasn't happy with the way the Bartlet administration was handling Sam's campaign. Josh could recall a woman named Angela telling him off while he waited for Sam to get out of a meeting.
"Right now, we can work with what we've got, but we need the President to be asked what kind of Congressman Sam will make, and we need him to support Sam publicly and verballyand emphatically."
"He's been asked that. It's public record that he supports Sam."
"Not really." Sam suddenly appeared behind Josh, speaking in a whisper, and when Josh looked at him, he caught a glimpse of something in his expressive, blue eyes before he brought his features under control.
Josh just looked from Sam to Angela and back again, his confusion apparent.
Sam stepped forward, looking his friend right in the eye. He knew Josh was trying to rebuild their friendship, and helping him out here would go a long way in the right direction. "The question has always been put through CJ. The President has said he supports me through CJ. A personal endorsement might go a long way."
Josh's mind raced to locate a memory of the President saying to people other than his staff how well Sam would do. He couldn't recall a single time. "Sam, I'm so sorry. He talks about you all the time. We're always saying to each other how great it would be if you won, but I guess it was never"
"When it mattered?" Angela supplied the words and the sarcasm when Josh paused.
"Angela" Sam began, obviously agreeing with her, but also obviously not wanting to express it in quite those terms.
"She's right, Sam. I'll talk to the President/ You're gonna hear a lot more coming straight from his mouth. And when he comes here at the end of January, you won't be able to shut him up."
Sam smiled. "I never could before."
"About you, I meant."
"He's still coming, then?"
"Of course he is!"
Josh had wondered at the time why Sam had questioned whether the President was coming. Then he realized they hadn't really told Sam how much they supported this. They all talked about him coming back to the White House, which Sam, being Sam, translated as when you fail'. How could they have been so stupid?
"Josh! You haven't heard a word I said!" Toby screamed bringing Josh back to the present.
Sam laughed.
"Don't laugh! I'm still mad at you! What possessed you, Sam! You destroyed yourself tonight!"
The smile fell from Sam's face. "Toby, I will not allow the President to sacrifice himself for me!"
"Sam"Josh began, but wasn't sure what else to say. Frustrated, he shook his head at the memory of what Sam had done. "It pains me to say it, but Toby's right. You didn't need to do that. The President was fully prepared"
Sam took several steps towards Josh and cut off his words. "Josh, would the President have held off his announcement if any other democrat was running in this election?"
Josh shrugged. "I don'tI don't know. Probably not."
"You know he wouldn't have. He was trying to do this for me. Personally. Not for the Democratic Party. Not for the best interests of the country. Not because he wasn't ready. For me. Now tell me Josh, if I weren't running for this seat, would you have advised him to delay until Monday."
Josh looked at the floor for a moment, then back up at Sam. "No. But then, we probably wouldn't have been in Orange County this weekend."
Sam smiled. "Fair point."
"But, Sam, to decide for the Presidentto disregard his decision and force him out like thatare you sure that was the best thing to do?"
"Yes, please, I'd like to hear the answer to that question as well!" Everyone in the room stood as President Bartlet entered with his usual entourage of Secret Service Agents, aides, and advisors, along with CJ, Donna, and Charlie.
"Mr. President" Sam began but Bartlet cut him off.
"I told them my plan. The die-hards liked it. Most of your would-be constituency didn't, but you do have a point."
Sam blinked in surprise. "I do?"
"Yes. You're right. I was doing the right thingand it was the right thingfor the wrong reasons. You should know, however, that the decision wasn't yours to make."
"Yes, sir."
"That said, I want you to know I admire the way you did that. I don't know what kind of good it did anyone, but I admire you jumping in feet first."
"Thank you, sir."
"Next time, talk to me first."
"Yes, sir."
Bartlet looked around the room, noting the beers. "I see you're all hard at work, so I'll let you get to it."
Once he and his agents and aides left, CJ turned to Donna. "We let these guys alone for a minute and they head straight to the minibar. Let's see if there's any left!"
Donna laughed and joined her.
Toby and Sam started to discuss the next day's itinerary. After a few moments, Sam looked around the room. "You know, all kidding aside, I've missed you guys." Sam's gaze took in all of them.
"We've missed you, too. The West Wing isn't the same without you!" Donna spoke before she thought about it, and now that the words were out, she could feel her face flushing. She drank some beer to cover it up and hoped no one, least of all Sam, saw it.
**
The Next Day
Lobby, The Four Seasons Hotel
Newport Beach, Orange County, CA
CJ Cregg checked her watch noting that she had only a few minutes before Sam, Toby, and Josh would expect her in Josh's room to discuss the day's events. They hadn't discussed it, but they were all pleased with their progress. After a shaky start, the trip was shaping up. The President's support and affection for Sam Seaborn came across and was having the desired affect on Sam's numbers. She chuckled to herself. Sam Seaborn's numbers were certainly yeasty.
As she waited for the clerk at the front desk to find the FedEx Carol had sent her, she heard someone approaching. In minutes, she found Sam Seaborn standing next to her, having intercepted someone she didn't recognize. She hadn't heard Sam come up beside her, and hadn't realized he was there, until, at the moment the stranger had spoken, she'd felt Sam's firm grip on her right elbow as he maneuvered her slightly behind him, and intercepted the stranger's handshake.
She looked at Sam quizzically, only to find his attention riveted on the stranger. His expression was rather unSamlike in the furrowed brow, and angry, cautious eyes. She watched him shake the stranger's hand still sliding slightly in front of her, blocking her from the man's reach.
Something seemed to dawn on the man that had not dawned on CJ. He put his hands up and took a step backwards. She saw Sam nod towards the left and only then did she notice the Secret Service Agents who only now arrived. The agents moved into position, flanking Sam and CJ.
The stranger began speaking. "Mr. Seaborn, Ms. Cregg, I am sorry. I realize how this must look. I only wanted toto apologize forI'm so sorry. It was horrible, what you went through, Ms. Cregg, and I do sincerelyI meanmy brother has been troubled for some time, but I never dreamed he would break the law"
With sudden clarity, CJ understood what was going on. This was her stalker's brother. This was the man who had been sending letters to her in hopes of meeting. She felt her knees shake, and only Sam's grip on her elbow kept her from turning and running back to her hotel room.
Sam smiled pleasantly at the man, and nodded in vague acknowledgement that he'd spoken. After a few awkward moments, Sam spoke directly to the man. "Look, I appreciate how you feel, and that you thought you had to see Ms. Cregg for some reason, but it would probably be best if you dropped it. You shouldn't have any contact with Ms. Cregg, her friends, or her family. We can make this official if you like. I'm her lawyer."
The man nodded, embarrassed, and mumbled another apology in CJ's general direction. He was ushered out of the hotel and into a car by the Agents.
Only when the car had sped away bearing the man and two agents to some distant office for questioning did Sam turn to face CJ. "Are you okay?" Layers of concern and anxiety fought for predominance in his voice and his features.
CJ ignored the question, if she even heard it. "How did you know he'd be here? How did you know you should be here? How did you even know about him?" The questions tumbled out of her mouth before she consciously realized she was asking them.
"I knew. I told you I've been keeping tabs on you." He led her upstairs to the meeting with Toby. "I knew you'd never keep me informed. I have sources."
"Sources? Now you sound like Danny!" As they got onto the elevator, CJ stared at her friend. "He just wanted to apologize?"
"That's how it sounded."
"Do you think he's telling the truth?"
Sam took CJ's hands. "Yes, I think he is. This is over now. The guy is just as appalled at what his brother did as we are. He's a pillar of the community type. Family man, never got a parking ticket, worked for the same company with steady raises and promotions for the last 15 years." He shrugged. "He's an Elk."
CJ narrowed her eyes. "How do you know all that?"
Sam's expression changed from concern and reassurance to that of a small child caught doing something he absolutely knew would get him into trouble.
Not sure what to make of that, CJ came right out and asked. "What did you do?"
"Nothing."
"Sam!"
"I hired a private investigator to keep me up to date on this guy's activities. I didn't want to have to count on the Secret Service for details. It's not all togetherfor me to get this sort of information from them."
"Sam?"
"Yes?"
"You're a good friend."
Sam blushed, and they continued the ride in silence. CJ's thoughts were too jumbled to allow a conversation.
Once they reached Josh's room, interrupting what sounded like a heated discussion between Josh and Toby
**
Hours Later
The Four Seasons Hotel
Newport Beach, Orange County, CA
Donna's Hotel Room
Donna stared glumly at the floor, imagining it opening up and swallowing her whole. She was only doing her job! How did these things keep happening to her? She was so lost in thought she didn't hear the knock on the door.
CJ Cregg stood outside Donna's hotel room wondering if she had only imagined seeing her go in 10 minutes ago.
"Hey Donna." CJ called through the door. "Donna?"
When Donna didn't answer, CJ tried the door. It opened, and she went inside. "Donna?" CJ put a hand on Donna's shoulder, and they both ended up jumping back in surprise.
"I'm sorry, CJ. I was a million miles away."
"I could tell." CJ took a seat. "What's wrong?"
"Did you hear what happened?"
"When?"
"Today. Josh sent me to meet with Ivan Perez."
"Oh, yeah. I heard about that."
"I feel awful. How much damage could this do to Sam's campaign?"
"Well, I guess it" She considered saying something flip and funny, but the look on Donna's face changed her mind. "It could do a lot of damage. Don't worry. We can spin it."
"What about what Sam did? Can that hurt him?"
CJ frowned drawing her chair closer to Donna's. "What did Sam do?"
"He fired that guy from his campaign!"
"Why?"
"The guy called me stupid, so Sam fired him. Toby was a little upset, but he didn't say a word. Will that be bad for him?"
CJ considered that. "I hadn't heard about it, which means the press doesn't have it yet. On the other hand, if this guy decides to go to the press"
Donna groaned.
"Donna, it's okay. Sam's going to be fine."
"We came here to help him win, and everything we've done could cost him the election!"
"You noticed that, too, did you?"
"Why would he do that? He just fired the guy for calling me stupid."
"That's the way Sam is. He's very chivalrous. He doesn't like rude, stupid people."
"Then what's he doing in politics?"
CJ laughed, but Donna still looked miserable. She seemed inconsolable. "Donna, he'll be okay. I'm sure we can rebound from this." As she tried to cheer Donna, a crazy insane thought exploded inside her brain. The last time he'd done something like this had been for Ainsley Hayes. She remembered it distinctly. She called it Sam's Shining Armor Syndrome. She hadn't seen it in a long time, but here it was spilling all over Donnatella Moss, who was practically in tears over the damage she believed she'd caused. "Oh, my God, Donna! You and Sam"
Donna blushed beet red, and grabbed CJ's hands. "No! CJ! No! Don't you think like that! It's not true!"
CJ laughed. "It must be or you wouldn't be so upset and you wouldn't know what I meant before I said it!"
"CJ, please!"
The Press Secretary calmed herself. "You do realize it's most likely mutual."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm not! You know, Donna, just because Josh never saw what was right in front of him doesn't mean that Sam's blind as a bat, too."
"I am not now nor have I ever been in love with Josh!"
"Okay."
"You don't believe me."
"Are you in love with Sam?"
Donna sat staring at CJ, but never answered the question.
**
The Next Day
Sam Seaborn for Congress Rally
Sam Seaborn stood backstage waiting to be introduced. He and Toby had fine-tuned his speech over and over again. Toby's talent was back with a vengeance, and the things he and Sam wrote together were perhaps the best things either of them had written in a long time. Of course, now that Toby's talent was back, they were back to arguing about verbs, adjectives, verbs, and punctuation. They has spent 20 minutes on the proper use of a semicolon before Toby had finally dropped it.
Sam noticed signs that read Orange County Department of Education Supports Sam Seaborn, and Orange County Teachers Support Seaborn for Congress as he took the stage to thunderous applause. It was heartening, but it made Sam wonder. If so many people seemed to support him, why was he still behind in the polls. Granted, his numbers were better than any Democrat in recent memory had any right to expect in this district, but he wanted to win. He was sure of it now, though it had taken him quite some time to realize it, let alone admit it.
It had been his father of all people who'd gotten him to open up about it just after the attack.
"Sam, you don't know how glad I am to see you're okay." Norman Seaborn wasn't ashamed of the tears he shed. He'd thought he'd lost his son. On the way to the hospital, Norman had been sure he'd never see his son again. When he walked in to find Sam not only alive, but also speaking to his mother and the Vice President of the United States, all thoughts of embarrassment had vanished.
"I'm glad to see you, too, Dad." And Sam was surprised to realize that he meant it.
After a few moments, the Vice President stepped outside to give the Seaborn's a moment alone. As they spoke about how things were going for the President, Sam said something his father found startling.
"Toby's hired someone to cover my job, but when I get back to the office, I'm sure"
"Hang on a minute, Son. What do you mean, when you get back to the office'? Aren't you planning to win this?"
"Democrats don't win the California 47th."
"That's not like you." Olivia Seaborn was surprised to hear such talk from her idealistic and optimistic son.
"I'm being realistic."
"You're being pessimistic!" Norman shouted.
"I can't win."
"Do you want to?"
"What?"
"Do you want to win?"
Sam stopped then, thinking things he hadn't since he'd told Toby about this. He and Toby had decided he could win, when had he decided he wouldn't?"
"Yes."
"So, act like it. There's no shame in losing a fair fight, but there's no honor in not trying to win."
So Sam Seaborn was trying to win. Scott and Will hadn't worked out because one was trying to make him lose, and the other was sure that Wilde's win had been a fluke. Sam chuckled to himself. "An Aristotelian confluence of events..." He looked out at the audience waving their banners and signs, wearing buttons and badges all saying Sam Seaborn for Congress or some variation. He held up his hands to try to calm them so he could speak, but they just cheered louder. He smiled, nodded his head, and thanked them and raised his hands again. "Thank you!" He had to begin speaking, and hope they'd be interested enough to calm down.
"I've lived in Washington, D.C. a long time now, and I've got to tell youit's good to be home." The applause broke in again, and he smiled, taking a step back. Moving back to the microphone, he gazed up and the bright California sunshine and it raised his spirits. "I didn't realize how much I missed the sunshine. Washington has sunshine, but it's different. The heat can be stifling. The heat and humidity eventually followed by the snow, and iceWashington winters and summers can break both records and spirits. Now that I'm home, I realize how much a part of me this place is. I want to represent you. I want to take our California perspective and show people from D.C. what we've got that they haven't. You've all heard the President's Budget by now. You've all heard what he's trying to do to make college tuition affordable. Education is one of the most important issues we can face as a nation, but the tuition won't do us a lot of good without teachers."
Sam was forced to wait for the applause to die down, and when it did, he launched into an explanation of his plan to fund better programs allowing for a well-rounded education, from new computers and better textbooks to music, art, and drama programs. He'd poured his heart into this speech, remembering all the conversations he'd had with Mallory about education, not to mention a certain trip on Air Force One that still got him thinking from time to time.
When he finished speaking, he glanced to the wings to see Toby smiling, nodding and
leading the applause.
**
The Four Seasons Hotel
Newport Beach, Orange County, CA
"I hate to leave now. I'd love to be here for the election."
"We'd love to have you, sir."
"I know, but, I gotta get back to running the country."
"It's always something, isn't it, sir."
Jed Bartlet smiled, liking the newfound ease with which Sam conducted himself. Maybe it was the California air. Maybe it was the sunshine. Hell, maybe it had always been there, but he'd been too thick headed to notice. It was the recent absence of Sam Seaborn that had shown him how much Sam Seaborn meant to him. He had once told Sam that he considered Sam, Josh, and Charlie his sons. He realized now how true that was. He wanted the best for Sam. He only hoped this visit would help.
"I don't know how much good we did for you. It seems when we hit the road we turn into some Twilight Zone Circus Show. Whatever happens, I support this Sam. I will turn every statement I make into some sort of a statement of support for you."
"Thank you, sir, and for what it's worth, I'm glad you came."
Jed watched as Sam put out his hand expecting the President to shake it. Jed shook his head. "No, Sam, that's for the cameras outside."
To Sam's surprise, the President stepped forward and engulfed the younger man in a firm, heartfelt embrace. "You're doing me proud, Sam."
"Thank you, sir!" Sam's surprise at the President's affection saddened Jed, but he knew it was his own fault for taking the man for granted.
The President pulled back. "Thank you, Sam."
Sam watched as Jed Bartlet, surrounded by his entourage, left the room.
Donna Moss sidled up to him, staring after the President as well until Sam recognized her presence.
"Donna?" He looked at her expectantly.
"We miss you, Sam. We all do. But, you should be proud. You're doing a good job."
Sam laughed in preparation for saying something self-deprecating, but Donna placed a finger over his lips. "Don't."
He looked at her quizzically.
"I'll tell you a secret."
He nodded for her to continue.
"You're going to win." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and followed the President's group.
Sam stared after her, not at all sure what had happened.
**
To Be Continued
