Chapter Seven
The Funeral

It took her all her strength to force herself out of bed in time for the funeral. Neo's father was giving the eulogy so there was no point in hurrying up. She reached the chapel, the same one that was supposed to be their wedding church, and her whole body tensed up.

It stood imposing against the gray sky, and growled at her in the form of distant thunder. She stepped out of the car, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She stood there, trying to fight off the insane urge to run. She wandered about her own mind, screaming as she went, 'Neo? Where are you? I think I'm lost! Help me, please! I wish you-` But then she snapped open her eyes. Neo use to ask her to close her eyes and make a wish.

"Get a hold of yourself," she demanded. She unstuck her feet and marched toward the smell of wet earth and decaying flesh. The world around her condensed as she came closer. Soon, the only thing she could hear was her own frantic heart and shallow breath. Stopping in front of the large double doors she waited for lightning to hit. One last fleeting hope that she wouldn't have to go in. But no such thing happened, and with zombie-like obedience, she opened the doors and walked in.

Neo's father was already talking, his deep voice echoing off the tall ceiling and happy little benches. All sarcasm intended. Wreaths of flowers adorned Neo's whit coffin. If she didn't know any better she would have sworn it was made entirely of ivory. Gold plates indicated the handles, which were now welded shut so no one could see his body.

She spotted me near the front of the chapel and her blood boiled. She looked at the back of my head with red hot lasers, hopping to drill right through and splatter my brains on the over glossed wall. Just then a vase no more then six inches from my left ear exploded. Several people gasped and let out small screams. Petunia launched herself to the side and sat at the very back, far from everyone's prying eyes.

"Well," said Neo's father after a moment of strained silence, "if I'm not very much mistaken I believe that's my son telling me to shut up and get on with it." There was a smattering of nervous laughter. Whether that was a joke or not didn't matter, they took him seriously and started looking nervously about. But I knew better. I looked around too, but not for ghosts, witches and wizards can see ghosts. The only one that could do that was an untrained juvenile wizard. There were tons of children, Neo adored kids, but there are no external signals to identify young wizards. "So I think we should say good bye and get this over with."

People started standing up and walking toward the coffin. They kneeled and kissed it, talked to it, caressed it and cried on it. Several of the children left notes on pretty paper. Petunia fallowed his mother and sister with her stinging eyes. They had always been so nice to her and it was torture to see them like this. She starred at the coffin with dubious light. Sitting there, glued to her chair, she cursed him under her breath. She cursed him with a long afterlife, walking the heavens with the knowledge that he had abandoned her. She told herself she was going to go up there with each second that went by. But the mourners came and went and still she sat, ruing every blissful memory he had ever given her.

The priest took the stand and asked Neo's mother if she'd like to see the coffin lowered. She said yes so half of them got up and left the church, heading for the grave yard. For some reason, this didn't perturb her, and she left with out hesitation.


Rain had started to fall, but not the beautiful rain she was use to. This rain was cold, comatose, and tasted like the tears of gods. She walked without purpose or conscious thought; she walked because they were walking. She watched as long dead mothers pulled recently buried children from their wet graves. She watched as raped and beaten young women hid behind their tomb stones. She saw echoes of crushed husbands weeping at a plague's latest victim. It chilled her to the bone marrow.

She made sure to stop well behind the queue, just close enough for her to hear. She was surprised to see that mother was there, her arm wrapped around me. 'Fine then,' she said to herself, 'comfort you preaches baby girl. I don't care about you anymore. I don't care what you think. I don't care!' The words echoed off the hallow chambers of her brain. The truth was that she did still care, and seeing me with her was like having a dull blade slice through her insides.

She backed up along a near by tree and slid to the ground, her eyes closed once more. The priest was talking again, giving a blessing before Neo became a part of his final resting place. His words vitiated her, tying her soiled hands behind her back and shoving dirty rags into her dry mouth. Blind, mute, and quadriplegic she sat, unwanted tears falling from her face.

Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Thinking it was me she shoved it away before opening her eyes, but then… "Mum?" The tears were shoved off her face by the shear shock value. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to share my condolences," she said.

"Your condolences? You?"

"Yes. You are my daughter. What kind of a mother would I be if I didn't show I care?"

There was something funny going on hear. Mum? Our mum, caring about her? One question ran naked through her mind, 'What are you on?' But she had enough sense to never say that to her. Mother sold drugs in her youth and she was very sensitive about the subject. Instead she asked, "Since when did you grow a conscience?"

She was a bit taken aback, she hadn't expected this, but it took only seconds for her to regain herself. "Look, I'm sorry about all that's happened between us. I know I haven't been exactly fare, but I could tell with blind eyes that you're in pain. I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I didn't try to help you in your hour of need."

"And what sort of forlorn wisdom do you have for your precious?"

She looked at her with truly sympathetic eyes. She saw in her something she had tried to forget long ago. "There are times in our life when we all must face the monsters in the closet," she looked sideways to where I was. "I've seen the way you look at her," she whispered, "It's no good to keep hate bottled up, nor is it good to keep grief hidden. Go to him, Petunia. Go to him and tell him what you feel."

"I don't want to remember him like that."

"You don't have to," she said engagingly. "You don't have to say good bye here, just vent."

"Where then?"

"You have a special place the two of you visit do you not?"

"Yes. Our gazebo… In his grandfather's orchored."

"I couldn't imagine a better place to bit him farewell. Will you go there? Will you go there for me?"

There was a demonic tone to her calming voice but Petunia paid no attention to it. She was tired of the tears and begging for a chance to escape. "I will. I promise."

She smiled and kissed Petunia on the forehead. "That a girl," she said, got up, and left.

She now had a clear view of the coffin. It was no longer a source of pain to her but the object of a most sacred mission. She rose from the ground with determination, with the kind of fierce power a cougar possesses. She walked with tunnel vision; the only thing in the world that mattered was her and her loves hidden body. Before she knew it she was in front of the coffin, staring it down with wasted eyes.

"What now?" she said, startled by the quivering nature of her own voice. "You were my life, Neo. You do realize that? So what happens next? Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want to see? Well you can't! I've bled too much for you already. Do you want me to kneel in front of you and tell the rest of this God forsaken world that it's not fare?! Fine then!" she fell on her knees in an exasperated motion. Then she started screaming at every one left, "It isn't fare I tell you! I deserved that life! It was mine and you had no right to take him from me! Do you hear me?! The lot of you can go to Hell for what you've done to me!"

I had been climbing into a car before Petunia had gone ballistic. Immediately I got out and ran to my sister's aid, but she was less then appreciative. I ran up to her side only to find her bent on my destruction. She through out her arms and pushed me as hard as she could. I fell to the ground with a great clatter. I looked up into her menacing face in utter shock. Her hands were balled into fists itching to strike.

"What the Hell are you running after, dear sister? Come to rub your perfect life in my face again?"

"Petunia, please just calm down-"

"Calm down! Calm down! Don't tell me to calm down! Give me an excuse to hit you sweet heart, and I swear to God I'll do it with a great deal of pleasure."

I didn't know what to say. Where was all this coming from? "Why would you want to hit me? I'm only trying to help," I said, getting to my feet.

"Help? The way you helped when those kids that laughed in my face when we were in school together?"

"School, Petunia, that was years ago."

"Alright how about something a little more resent. I went down to your bloody paradise of a world on your request to pick up a few potion supplies. Remember? Well there I met a certain witch. She thought it would be funny to play a little joke on the unsuspecting Muggle. She jinxed me. She jinxed me. I had six ears sprouting out of my head! If I had known half of what you knew I could have restored my facial features. But no, I had to walk around London, in the middle of a heat wave, with my hood over my head. If you hadn't been so- so- so-"

"So what?! What are you playing at hear? It's not my fault I was born with these gifts and you weren't!"

Petunia walked right up close to me and whispered in my ear, "Magic doesn't skip siblings. And if you hadn't been so full of yourself then you would have noticed it."

My very skin froze as her words chiseled their way into my disbelieving head like a jack hammer against marble. "You broke the vase in the church?"

"Yes," she whispered in a satisfied tone. "It's been a very long time since I lost control like that. It's amazing what one con teach oneself given the proper motivation."

"Proper motivation?"

"Do you remember when Father told you that I had gone to camp for the summer to work on my spelling?"

"Yeah."

"There was never such a camp. You and Mother were always so close. I'd hear giggling coming from the bathroom all the way down into the living room. Remember how you would always watch Mum put her makeup on? I was always curious to find out what was so amusing, but I never did want to intrude. But my chance came the morning after your sleep over at your friend's house, and I didn't hesitate to take it. You were gone and now I could sit at Mum's feet, not you. But she was less then hospitable. She said some very mean things to me, Lily, things you should never say to a child. I got very, very angry at her. It was so easy to drive a piece of that perfume bottle into her neck. Just a small piece, nothing big enough to sever any arteries, but it did shut her up. Daddy was very upset. After asking Mummy what had happened he grabbed me with marvelous wrath and through me in their bathroom closet. It was so tiny I couldn't even stand up or move in any direction more then a half inch, and so very dark. You know how I hated the dark? All I could see was blood, it socked my hands and feet and before long I would swear that it was running down the walls. I had to clean up the blood but there was no water. They didn't feed me, and the silence was so profound that I didn't know whether I was alive or dead after a while. They only let me out when you started asking questions. I was so dirty when they let me out. I still can't get the blood off, Lily, no matter how much I try. You can't imagine how many hours I spent laying awake at night after that. I had to learn to control it; I couldn't let any thing happen again. And then the letters from Hogwarts arrived. Mum, of course, knew what was in it since she had gotten yours four years earlier. She tore mine to peaces and stuffed it in the fire so there would be no evidence. She didn't intend for me to find out. But ever since the closet incident I don't really trust things unless I see it with my own eyes. They were so proud of you. Why couldn't they have been proud of me? I was just like you and they were afraid of me. They say self hatred died out with black-American slaves. They were wrong."

My whole world was spinning. Petunia… a witch, how could it be? How could I have missed it for so long? How could something so horrible happen right under my nose? I walked up to her with the intention of hugging her but she backed away from me like I had the Black Plague. "Don't touch me! Don't come any closer to me you freak."

"How can you say such things? How can you condemn me for something that I can't control? God damn it, Petunia you're just like me-"

Without the slightest warning she balled up her hand and struck me as hard as she could with the back of her fist. "Don't you ever say that to me again. You don't know, Lily. You don't know what it feels like. Every-single-fucking-time that I trusted you I got smacked in the face. But I still kept coming back because I loved you so much. No one made me feel the way you did. Not until Neo. And after a while I didn't think of him as another person. He was a part of me, the very part that had always been missing. And now half my soul is dead; the piece of me that could trust you, and love you, and hope that this time it will be different, is gone. And I will never again feel safe, or hole, or anything. And I hate you for that. I hate you, bitch! I hate you!

Petunia and I stood like just another stone statue in the grave yard, with nothing more to say and even less to think. Purgatory, knows now bounds. Just then I felt a large cold hand on my shoulder, and as I was lost in my own retched thoughts, I jumped and gasped.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." I tried to find my voice but couldn't, the door way into my brain had been jammed. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" he asked uncertainly after a moment.

Petunia looked from the man with the long white beard and hair to me and back, apparently relishing my loss for words. "Not at all, Mr.?"

"Dumbledore," he said, holding out his hand and smiling slightly, "Albus Dumbledore."

"Albus? I've heard so much about the infamous Hogwarts headmaster."

"Infamous, really?" his eyes twinkled and he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. He looked sideways at me through his half moon spectacles and said, "I'm flattered. And you would be Petunia, Lily's sister?"

"Yes I would be."

"Well if you'll excuse us I have to steal your sister for a moment."

She nodded and Dumbledore steered me out behind a near by wall. "What are you up to?" she whispered to herself. She made like she was going to leave in the opposite direction but then doubled back in a large semicircle.

She inched her way closer to us with her back pressed against the wall. When she finally reached the other end she poked her head around ever so slightly. There she found Dumbledore and I talking in a low whisper, half way across the other wall.

"You can't pretend that you don't see the connection," I was saying.

"The giants are not our problem. Their people are dyeing, they need our help to survive. They won't attack us."

"The Death Eaters are growing stronger, you said it your self. They're recruiting more and more people every day, their natural allies are the giants and the Dementors. They've already got most of the Dementors it's only a matter of time before-"

"The giants won't do anything while they have our protection."

"Our protection isn't going to mean much in a year or two. Voldemort would have destroyed us by then. That's why you came to me isn't it? We're loosing the battle aren't we? That's why you want to set up an alliance with the giants? Its suicide, Albus, full blooded giants can't be trusted!"

"The giants can hide you and James. Voldemort has been strategically killing off the best of our kind, you're next. They're the only one's that can save us but they won't except any ones plead but James'. I've got his approval if you come along. Lily, the giants can save us."

"Nothing can save us. We're all as good as dead and nothing but a miracle can stop that." there was a pause and then I uttered the question that had been nagging me ever since Albus had proposed an alliance with the giants, "Why James. Why do they want James?" There was a long pause in which I watched the wheals behind his blue eyes turn. "I'm not a little girl anymore," I said. "It's not your job to protect me from the things that go bump in the night. Why do they want my husband?"

"I don't know," He said, that was the most painful lie Albus had ever uttered.

Petunia leaned back against the wall. Now she knew there were forces acting against us. But she didn't care; she had her own business to attend to.