Dating Game Darwinism

Summary: The pearls of wisdom on dating, as told by Chuck Fishman.

Disclaimer: Early Edition characters belong to their creators. No

copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made.

Author's Note: This very short story came about as I was walking to

work this morning. For some reason, I couldn't get that scene

in "Babies" when Chuck is talking to Gary about dating (hence my

title) and Chuck's voice out of my head. He just wouldn't shut up.

LOL. Anyway, the following short story is what Mr. Fishman had to

say about dating g.

Author: Tracy Diane Miller

E-mail address: tdmiller82@hotmail.com
Dating Game Darwinism

I tell you.it's a jungle out there. Remember what Darwin said about

survival of the fittest and natural selection? No? I think that it

was something about only the strongest species being able to survive

in the changing world and the weak being weeded out. Gone. Kaput.

Competition is the name of the game. The strong crush the weak and

then pass on their traits to the next generation of offspring. Sound

cutthroat? You bet. It's a dog eat dog world out there. And I'm

not just talking about the world of commodities trading. Hey, I knew

that kind of pressure for years. I can't say that I'm sorry to see

it go. Now I produce a successful show, "Bikini Squad", and it's

almost like a license to print my own money. No, what I'm talking

about is an even more unpredictable commodity- the dating game.

Let's face it folks, the market of guys trying to find the right

chick, and vice versa, ain't easy. For every good looking woman out

there, I wager that there are at least ten guys competing for her

attention. I played that scene for years and even for a good looking

guy like me, it took awhile to find the right woman. So what if she

is a former jewel thief? No one's perfect. God knows that I've made

my share of mistakes. But Jade has put her criminal past behind her.

She's an actress and doing very well for herself. Most importantly,

she's my wife. Yep, we've been married for almost three years now.

I've been in the jungle and I survived it. But not every good

looking guy is so lucky. Take my best bud, Gar, for example.

Gary Hobson is probably every girl's idea of the perfect guy. He's

this handsome kid with that "aw shucks" thing going for him in

spades. He's sensitive (and he's not even faking it. That's the way

he really is), cares about a woman's feelings, and if any guy was

born to be a father, it's Gar. I mean, he's a man who in the 1990s

believed that the "American Dream" consisted of a wife, home, and

kids. Listening to Gar's thoughts about dating, marriage, and family

is like being trapped in some 1940s movie where guys and girls still

went out for ice cream sodas and the word "courting" made perfect

sense. And to add to Gary's rating on the "perfection" scale, he

also gets tomorrow's newspaper today. Talk about an ice breaker, or

at the very least, a unique way to impress the chicks. A girl likes

Italian food, you use the Paper to make the money to take her to

Italy. She likes jewelry? You get her the Hope Diamond. Talk about

a big rock, a boulder. No wait.there's supposed to be a curse on

that diamond. Never mind, nix the Hope Diamond, but you can still

buy her some diamonds. What girl could resist diamonds? And throw

in the fact that the gift was given by a handsome guy, and you're on

easy street with that woman. Gar has his pick of the best crop of

women; man, he can be "king of the jungle" if he wants. But that guy

is a major disappointment to me. See, he has everything going for

him, has The Paper and everything, and he's running around the city

like some nut helping people who could care less about him. He's

getting himself hurt and arrested.

And comes home to an empty apartment every single night.

Gar was married to Marcia Roberts, but that relationship was such a

disaster that it could have qualified for federal aid. He took

quite a beating in that relationship. What woman tosses her husband

out of the house on their wedding anniversary? Gar never saw that

one coming. To add insult to injury, thereafter, Marcia quickly

became engaged to Phil Pritchard. Pritchard was Gary's ex-boss at

Strauss & Associates. Man, did that guy enjoy making Gary's life

miserable. To this day, I think old Phil boy was mad that Gar up and

quit on him. Pritchard loved holding the threat of firing over his

employees' heads and that particular ax was something that dangled

above Gary's head almost from day one.

It had to smart for Gar that Marcia was going to marry Pritchard. I

still think that she and Pritchard were doing the deed, so to speak,

the whole time she and Gar were married, but I'll keep that opinion

to myself. I wouldn't want to hurt Gary by sharing this tidbit. I

actually was glad that Marcia stood Pritchard up at the altar and I

know that Gar was gloating about it, too. Yeah, he's a good guy, but

he had a right to smirk over Pritchard's misfortune, after all that

man did to him. Gar won't admit it, but I still think that he

intended to whack Pritchard good on that squash court. I'd say that

he was entitled.

After Marcia, Meredith Carson came into Gary's life. Man, was she a

real looker and feisty, too. But she was a Sun-Times reporter and

he was the guy who got tomorrow's newspaper today. Oil and water.

Cats and dogs. That relationship was doomed before you could

say "Chinese food". For the record, I kinda liked Meredith. She

knew how to show our boy a good time, if you know what I mean.

Emma Shaw was the one that got away. Sweet Emma. I think that Gary

really loved her and she could have helped him leave the dating game

jungle for good. Maybe they would have even gotten married someday.

But Gary learned that this guy, Marco, Emma's long-lost love who she

thought was dead, was actually alive. The Paper said that Emma would

be reunited with Marco at the opera. Gar knew about this and instead

of keeping Emma from this chance meeting and fighting for the woman

that he loved, Gary decided to play Boy Scout and step aside,

allowing Emma and Marco to get back together. I'll never understand

that guy. So many opportunities for happiness, for romance, and he

lets those opportunities slip right through his fingers.

I don't know much about Erica Paget, but from what I hear from

others, Gary's probably lucky that relationship didn't work out. And

Detective Brigatti, she's a nice looking woman and all, but she's

pretty scary. I remember how she socked Gar in the jaw the day I

married Jade. Gary's been abused enough, emotionally and physically

because of that stupid Paper. He certainly doesn't need to have a

woman beating him up every chance that she gets.

Yep, it's a jungle out there. Dating game Darwinism. Survival of

the fittest. And even being a good looking, sensitive guy who gets an

early edition doesn't guarantee that you'll survive in that jungle.

Just ask Gary.

The End.