DAYBREAK
Chapter VI
Dreamwalker
She could feel the warmth of the change on her face as the light swallowed her entirely into its grasps. She could hear the energy pulsing through it as it had with the tapestry of her Hades. She could feel the auras merging into one to form a picture, to form the change, the threads weaving the patterns into the tapestry of auras. It felt unbelievable, beckoning and alive, as though she were in a dream.
It was unbearable, like liquid fire surging through her veins and into the very marrow of her bones, painful yet exquisite in every sense. It felt like dying but living all at the same time. It was power, pure auras that flowed through time and space like a stream or a river that could not be stopped. As the light swallowed her whole, she felt it reach into her and take her within its embrace. It felt almost natural in all its immeasurability and intricacy, as though it had been calling to her for so long and now lulled her as she stayed there, unmoving and still.And then it was all gone. She found herself down on the ground, hands and knees flat upon the surface. It was almost painful; sad, to have lost the sensation of the change yet she knew it would not have been well to stay within such pure unbridled power for more than but a moment. She would have lost herself if it had been any longer. But the longing was there, and it tugged at her heart like a relentless child asking for a gift he could not care for. She could feel her aura stretching out towards it but she managed to call it back, before it even touched the edge.
She pushed herself upward, dusting off her skirt with her hands. She was wearing a silk dress of light blue, like the sky in the early morning before the sun has even risen. She smiled at it as she touched the hem of intricate laces and the bodice of delicate embroidery. She thought of Tomoyo as she reached down to the small cherry blossoms stitched just at the edge of her skirt. It would have been the sort of thing Tomoyo would make, if she were there now.
She gazed around, her hair floating around her face with the breeze. She though for a moment that they were longer than they should be but she quickly dismissed it. So much more things had happened within her dream world, it should be the least of her problems if her hair grew a few inches more. She laughed at herself inwardly as she studied her surroundings.
It was a desert, or an open plain, she could not guess. She could see nothing for miles but the flat ground and the never-ending horizon. She saw no trees, no grass, nor any living creature. She doubted if they could have survived were there any. She winced as bits of sand touched her eye. The wind had gotten stronger, carrying into the air the sand and dirt that comprised this wasteland. She hoped the change would come for her once more. It did not seem better than the hallway now that she thought of it. She would not last long in this deserted place.
She closed her eyes, reaching out with her aura to anything that could be touched. She wanted to hold the strands once more, just pull them out and see if they would bring about trees or perhaps monsters, either way she did not really care. Anything would be better than absolutely nothing, and that was all that she had here. She called out to the voice, reached out with invisible hands into the air in hopes that it might come once more. She needed so much to be comforted now that she was alone. You said you would find me. Why won't you come? I'm here! I'm here goddamn it! Find me please! She found herself crying out into the howling wind yet she herself could not hear. It was drowning her out and she could see nothing but sand swirling around her face.
It was instantaneous. She had hardly the time to feel the pull of the change when her surroundings began to blur and then come to focus again; only they were much more different from before. The clear gray horizon gave way to a void of emptiness. It was a dark, starless sky at which she gazed, and her heart pounded in her chest.
The place was familiar. Her lips trembled as she silently named her new surroundings, Hell. The blackness seemed thick and heavy as it pressed down on her senses, wrapping her in a blanket of fear and numbness. She could no longer feel the small weaves of the tapestry from which she could take hold of a few strands. Nothing was within reach in that dark cell that bound her; she was alone and indeed, worse off than ever before.
Her skin began to take on its own eerie glow and she wished it had not. She knew she was standing but she could not feel the solid ground, only a small tingle that told her she was upright. She closed her eyes yet it made no difference. Everything was as dark and clouded as it had ever been and the light from her skin could not extend to the furthest corners of the gloom. She wished she were back in the hallway once more.
Loud shrieking sounds shattered the impenetrable silence and her ears rung with pain. It was a horrid sound, one filled with fear, anger, devastation, mourning, and malice. It was everything she had never wanted to feel yet was all too real now. The requiem of the dead has returned for her and she knew what would happen next. She closed her eyes once more and clenched her hands at her sides. She could feel the soft silk brush against her thigh. She knew it was white, like new snow on the first morn of winter. It had always been white whenever she was in this place. It was perhaps a painful joke since white stained with blood was the epiphany of lost innocence. She gritted her teeth, her eyes still tightly shut. Is that all I am? A symbol of something lost that could never been gained back? A toy for someone to play with? This is stupid! It's not fair! It's not fair that I had to lose him and it's not fair that I'm here! "Leave me alone! Isn't it enough that I've suffered while I'm awake? Isn't it enough that I've gone through every possible pain while my eyes are wide open?" She fell to her knees as she pounded at the floor that wasn't there. "Well now their closed and still you torment me! I need peace!" She let her tears fall but her eyes remained closed. "Just peace!"
Her own echoes answered her cry, weeping and sobbing as though mocking her weakness. She wished it would stop. She wished she could stop; hold back all her tears just as she had when that snake attacked her. But it came freely, as though everything she had held back inside was rushing forth to break free. Three years of suffering had come back to haunt her and it was all too overwhelming. She broke down at last, allowing he self to slowly slump on the floor until her face touched the cold smooth darkness. She slowly opened her eyes.
Images came into focus, shadowy figures gradually took form, and she stared defeated at them. She could feel something wet beneath her face. It seemed too thick for water or tears. She could feel a sweet tangy taste at the edge of her lips and she lapped at it, slowly tasting the saltiness that almost seemed like human sweat. She stifled a scream but her heart could not stop from hammering against her chest as though it wanted to break free. She was lying in a pool of blood; everything was lying in a pool of blood, and she could see the reflections of the dead from the vile liquid. She could find no strength to stand.
*********
A soft hand lifted her head, her hair dripping with the red liquid as though it were mere water. Her cheek was deeply stained but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes stared blankly into nothingness.
He brushed away a few strands of golden hair that clung to her face. Her shuddered as he met her lifeless stare, as though the fire in her once bright emerald eyes had finally gone out. He knelt down though he hated the blood around him. He feared he was too late.
The stranger placed the young girl in his arms, his knee supporting her back. Her hand fell to the side, swinging in the pool as though she were truly dead. He stared at her frail form lying quietly in his arms. Her face was gaunt and thin, adding years to her youngish beauty. Her evergreen eyes were dull as she stared up directly at him, not recognizing his presence. He bit his lips as he silently cursed himself. He had heard her call before but he had been too late. I should've been here! It's too late. I've lost her! Damn it!
He looked at her intently, studying every detail of her face as though he wanted to memorize it. Pale white skin framed by golden curls that reflected the redness of the blood, which surrounded them, made her seem like a fallen angel. She had the most dazzling green eyes framed by long thick lashes, though they seemed dead and empty now. His eyes fell upon her lips, partly opened as though she were about to speak. He brushed his finger lightly over them, afraid to hurt her with the slightest touch. He smiled slightly as he stroked her cheek, which was dampened with blood. Are you sleeping, princess?
He lifted her head towards himself, gazing lovingly at the frail child of fifteen. She seemed like a woman in all sense and yet a child in every other. He could feel his heart pound within his chest, his muscles tensing slightly as he shifted his arms around her. Slowly, he placed his face closer to hers; his nose barely inches from her soft skin. He could still feel warm breath rise from her mouth and the slow heaving of her breast against his chest assured him she was alive. He smiled as he bent even closer. He brushed his lips against hers and he could feel a soft prickling from her touch. He kissed her, soft and light at first, then passionately as he carefully caressed her lips with his, breathing into her the warmth he could offer.
Sakura's eyes grew wide as she began to feel the sensation on her lips. Syaoran?
*********
"She's waking up."
Everything came as a hazy picture, nothing distinct at first glance. The colors seemed as though they flowed continuously so that you did not know where one ended and another began. Purple and amber and a speck of gold were all she could discern at that moment, as though a thick veil had been placed above her head.
But then slowly, images came into focus and she could see two women crouching above her, their eyes filled with worry and concern. Her other senses followed shortly after her sight. The first thing she felt was the hardness of the ground beneath her back. Small rocks and unpleasantly placed pebbles poked and jabbed her bony back, bruising her flesh and making for a most unpleasant awakening. She groaned as she slowly sat up.
"Where am I?" she placed a hand to her head as a sharp pain ran through her skull as though it would break it in half. She could feel Nami's strong hands behind her to give support. She smiled meekly in thanks. She felt unsteady all of a sudden, as though an inexplicable wave of vertigo had come over her.
Nami placed a hand on Sakura's forehead and then on her own. "The fever's gone," she said, dumbfounded. She held the girl's wrist for a moment as she glanced at her wristwatch. "Pulse is at a normal rate, a little fast but steady and slowly dropping into the standard pace." She looked at Sakura in awe but a glint of silent knowing flashed in her eye. Sakura looked down, the pain almost subsiding, replaced by a slight tingling sensation pulling at the back of her mind. She decided to ignore it.
"It's as though it vanished into thin air, almost magically, I should say." Nami slightly pressed her tone when she said magically. Sakura instinctively sat up, her eyes wide, looking straight at Tomoyo as though their secret had been exposed for the world to see. For a moment, she saw the same shock mirrored in Tomoyo's dark azure eyes but it was quickly gone. She was merely smiling, as though nothing had happened, and Sakura took to follow as well. She slumped her back a little to give the effect of being relaxed and nonchalant but she could see that the damage had already been done. Nami's light brown eyes sparkled in suspicion.
Nami stood up, bringing Sakura to her feet as well. "We might as well get going. The wind's died down a bit and I don't want to get stuck here if it picks up again. Our best bet is to get out of here as soon as possible." She took Sakura's arm and placed it over her shoulder so that she supported the girl's weight.
Tomoyo nodded and slowly stood up, careful not to move her broken arm. She took the Book in her other hand and scooped up the stiff Cerberus who was trying his best not to sneeze. Tomoyo snickered as she watched the struggle in the toy-like creature's face. She could see that Kero was gritting his tiny fangs, ready to munch on her finger if she dared to laugh.
They began their trek towards the hospital, which Nami believed was somewhere to the east. The mist still hung thick and heavy, blinding them from anything that could guide them on the right path. They groped rather than walked, extending their hands before them like three blind men walking in the dark. The wind hissed behind their ears, toying with their hair and clothes. Sakura shivered as the icy chill crept up her thin hospital gown. Her knees were shaking uncontrollably and she could hardly open her mouth with her jaws clenched and her teeth chattering. She could feel something tugging at the edge of her subconscious. She wanted to touch it but she couldn't take hold. The sensation was gone once more.
Sakura looked to her side where Nami was holding her, supporting most of her weight. She couldn't help but feel embarrassed for her own helplessness.
"I'm really sorry, Nami. I didn't mean to be such a burden," she said silently, her voice heavy with discomfort.
Nami glared at her, her brown eyes bearing into hers. "Damn right you're a big burden! If you were just smart enough to stay put when you're told and to follow orders then we wouldn't be in such a mess!" Sakura gulped.
Nami turned her flaming gaze on the quiet teen walking on her other side. Tomoyo looked up, feeling the intensity of Nami's gaze, and nearly yelped as she saw the anger it held. "And you! Where in the world should I begin? I thought you had some sense in you, being all prim and sensible looking! I didn't expect you to actually run into that storm alone! And for what? To get that goddamned forsaken toy! Have you lost all logic in your brain?" Nami glared even harder at the toy-like creature clutched in Tomoyo's good arm. Kero could feel small beads of sweat slowly form on his yellow brow. He struggled to keep his face still, fighting the urge to just bite the nurse's finger out for calling him a goddamned forsaken toy! He gritted his teeth, cursing and fuming under his breath as he kept his face still and as comical as he could manage. The nerve of that bitch! How dare she call me, Cerberus, the great Sun Guardian, a toy! And a goddamned forsaken one at that! And what gives her the right to scold the Mistress of the Cards like that? Ooh, when I get my claws on her!
Tomoyo felt Kero tensing in her arm and she squeezed him slightly to ease him. She knew he was fuming and it began to show on his round face. She looked worriedly at Nami. "I'm sorry. It's just that-," Tomoyo thought for a while, searching for just the right words to convince the glaring woman, "Kero's very important to Sakura." She placed a solemn look on her face, lowering her eyes as though she were about to cry. Cerberus nearly grinned at her performance.
"He was given to Sakura by her mother, on her deathbed. He's one of the last few remembrances left to her by her dead mother." Her eyes began to water and she slowly looked up for a more dramatic effect. Tomoyo strained her voice so that it sounded as though she were about to break down and croak. Sakura stared at her, bewildered at first, but then amused as she began to get the picture. She stifled a laugh and decided to help along.
She sniffed, which wasn't hard at all since she could feel a cold coming up, and lowered her eyes. "He's all that I have left to remind me of her. I never really knew her because she died when I was very young. My papa said that she made Kero for me during her last days, so that I wouldn't be lonely and she could look over me through him." She looked up, following Tomoyo's example, and poured out all her emotions through her round emerald eyes. She could see that Nami was quite taken aback. She decided to go for the kill. Her eyes watering, she quietly added, "And when I look at him and hold him, it almost feels like I'm with my mother. I would feel so lonely without him." She looked down once more, hiding a smile behind her hair.
"That's why I had to go back for him. I would never forgive myself if Sakura lost the one thing that reminded her of her dead mother. I know that Sakura would do the same for me, had we been in each other's shoes. Wouldn't you, Ms. Nami?" Tomoyo gazed at her with big puppy eyes. Sakura snickered in response but quickly recovered, whimpering instead to cover her little slip up. Tomoyo continued. "Surely, you have something that is so dear to you that it's worth your very life."
Nami looked at Tomoyo and then at Sakura who was still looking down, stifling a laughter that tickled her stomach. Finally, Nami sighed in exasperation and smiled. "That's all well and fine, but it doesn't make what you did right and you can't blame me for getting worried and being angry. Still, I guess I understand how you feel. I myself keep Shinta's first mitten as a keepsake. I'd die if I lost it."
Tomoyo looked at her, a bit surprised. "Who's Shinta, if you don't mind my asking?"
Sakura looked up, just in time to see a cloud of emotions play on Nami's face. She suddenly felt horrible for playing such a distasteful trick on her but she reminded herself that she had no other choice. Still, she bit her lip, that doesn't justify it.
"He was my son. He's gone now." Nami smiled once more, though it seemed forced and less carefree. "Now's not the time for story-telling. We've got enough problems here to deal with to add anymore. Let's go." She shifted a bit, hefting Sakura's arm higher so it hung properly on her shoulder. "Come on. I think we're getting nearer."
Tomoyo nodded and so did Sakura. Tomoyo passed her friend an apologetic grin and Sakura did the same. They both saw the hurt in Nami's eyes when she mentioned Shinta's name. They felt low for having played with her emotions to gain an advantage.
The three moved forward in complete silence with only the pitter-patter of the rain and the horrid howling of the wind to break the heavy hush. They stopped once or twice, still unable to see anything before them but their own arms extending forward. Moving on, Sakura tripped over a root protruding from the ground, pulling Nami down with her into the sticky mud. It took them a while to get back up and an even longer while to regain the pace they had lost. Nami muttered to herself as she struggled to push herself and the teen unto stable ground. She looked to her side where Tomoyo was struggling as well, one hand completely useless, the other too tied up at the moment. After finally feeling some hard ground beneath her, Nami paused, placing Sakura on the ground so they could rest. Tomoyo plopped down beside her friend wearily. No one spoke for a few moments.
Finally breaking the silence Nami spoke up cheerily. "So why didn't you tell me what you forgot? I could have gotten it for you, y' know."
Tomoyo froze, thinking a bit for a proper excuse. Sakura's voice brought her out of her thought. "I-I, umm, didn't want you to know. It's quite an embarrassing secret that only Tomoyo and I know about."
Tomoyo quickly picked up the lie. "Yes. After all, Sakura is now a teenager. It would be quite laughable if people knew she still carried a stuffed toy around, naming it Kero, of all things." Tomoyo laughed unsurely. Nami's eyebrow went up. Tomoyo smiled lopsidedly and looked at Sakura for help.
"Yeah, really embarrassing. I mean, look at him." Sakura gestured to the silent Cerberus with shaky hands. "He's- he's…." "Not even that cute!" Tomoyo quickly added. Sakura nodded. "He's ugly. Look at that big yellow face, quite improperly made. He's kinda big around the middle, you know, not proportional. He's not something you can really be proud of."
Kero gritted his teeth and Tomoyo held him tighter, just to make sure he couldn't make a move. Ugly? I'm gonna…..
"I don't know. He doesn't look so bad. I personally don't like the tail and those big ears, they make him look like a rat, but other than that he's quite acceptable," Nami said sincerely. Tomoyo flashed her a big smile while Sakura nodded in agreement. Rat?!
"I keep him for more sentimental values," Sakura added.
Traitor! Kero's smile was quickly fading. Tomoyo squeezed him harder, gaining a little squeak from the toy-like creature. Nami looked at him intently and Kero quickly lied still, holding his breath so that the woman could see no motion. "That's odd. It just squeaked. Didn't know it was the type."
Tomoyo quickly hid Kero behind her back where he gladly took the opportunity to breathe a sigh of relief. "Old! He's old so he squeaks!" Without giving Nami another chance to speak, she stood up, still holding Kero behind her. "Let's go! Like you said Ms. Nami, it's best that we get moving. It won't be good if we get caught up in the storm once more."
Nami nodded and Sakura agreed readily. They both stood up and Nami took her position under Sakura once more. They commenced to walk further towards the east of the cherry tree where they had begun.
Sakura looked behind her. The sensation was back once more though it disappeared as quickly as it had come. It seemed at the tip of her tongue, just at the edge of her reach. She couldn't quite figure it out but it seemed irritating as well as persistent. She gritted her teeth in frustration as she struggled to identify the familiar feeling. Finally, she rolled her eyes in exasperation and decided to give it up.
The three trudged in silence except for an occasional sneeze or two. They stopped to rest once more, still no nearer to their destination than before. They began to wonder if they were going the right way. "Are you sure this is right? The park didn't seem so big when we first came here. If I remember correctly, it was just a few blocks from the entrance of the hospital," Tomoyo said worriedly.
Sakura shrugged. "Maybe we went the wrong way and now were going deeper into the park. I heard there was a forest behind it."
"That's impossible. There's a fence that separates the forest from the edge of the park. If we were going that way, we would have hit some sort of fence or barrier," Nami quickly answered.
Sakura sighed. "Maybe it got blown down by the storm and we just passed by it without noticing."
Nami shook her head, her face a visible sign of frustration and weariness. "There's supposed to be a stream between the park and the forest. We should have hit water even if we didn't notice the fence but all we've felt are mud and trees. I'm sure we're going the right way!"
"Then why aren't we there yet?" Sakura said almost rhetorically as she stared up into the sky. She could see almost nothing through the mist but she did notice the heavy clouds begin to form above them. "It's coming back. If we don't get out soon we'll be stuck in an even harder downpour. I don't think I want that." Tomoyo nodded in agreement and Nami scratched her head irritably.
Tomoyo slowly stood up. She looked down to smooth her skirt but quickly noticed something under her foot. She crouched down to take a look, her eyes widening upon recognizing the item. She let the disfigured package drop and quickly ran to her side, groping through the air with her hand. Her two companions looked at her dumbfounded. "What's wrong, Tomoyo?" Sakura asked.
The frantic teen didn't answer. She held out her hand as she moved along in strange zigzags. Finally, something rough brushed her fingertips and her brows furrowed in worry. She cautiously walked towards it, hoping it was a mistake, yet she quickly felt its solid form. Slowly, the mist around her dissipated, revealing a large cherry tree with bald branches and battered bark. "No." She fell to her knees, all hope leaving her. She saw her two companions slowly materialize before her but she didn't make a move. She was too tired to do anything anymore.
"What's wrong Tomoyo?" Sakura asked worriedly. She slowly walked towards her friend to give her a warm hug.
"It's hopeless. We're back where we started. We've been walking around in circles all this time!" Tomoyo leaned on the rough trunk, resting her head on its hard surface to relieve the lightness in her head. She returned her friend's hug. "I'm too tired. I'm so sorry Sakura. I'm just so tired."
"Ssh! It's ok. I'm tired too, so is Nami. We'll just rest here a bit. We'll get out soon, don't worry." She soothed Tomoyo's once silky hair, now a matted mess of dark tangles and stray leaves and twigs. She looked towards Nami but she too had a defeated look on her face. Sakura looked up. The tree seemed such a horrible sight now with its twisting branches that seemed like claws and it's rough bark filled with scratches that appeared to be mocking smiles. It was an admonition of their helplessness.
She silently cursed as she took a seat beside Tomoyo, leaning on the hard trunk as well for support. Darn it! Why can't we get out? It's like….like….Tomoyo's voice rung in her ears. We've been walking around in circles all this time! Something tickled her senses once more. Suddenly, she realized what it was, like a puzzle slowly coming into shape. She quickly sat up and closed her eyes. Concentrating her aura to reach out towards the feeling, she scanned the area. She quickly felt its familiar tug and she immediately knew where it was coming from. Going round in circles! It can't be, can it? But it's impossible!
She faced Tomoyo, her eyes wide with fear and worry. Tomoyo looked up, sensing the exigency in her friend's actions. "What is it Sakura?"
"The book, where's the book?" Sakura asked urgently, keeping her voice down so Nami could not hear.
Tomoyo looked to her side and brought out the book with an unsteady hand. She gave it to her friend who took it carefully into hers as though it were a bomb ready to explode. She slowly opened the lid, her hands shaking. Sakura picked up its contents, gently shuffling the cards until she found what she wanted. Her eyes grew wide and she gulped in a shout of surprise. Tomoyo looked down, unable to understand what her friend saw.
"What is it Sakura, what's wrong?"
Sakura kept her eyes on the card, almost disbelieving of what she saw. "The Loop, it's glowing."
