TITLE: Memories
AUTHOR: Kat
PAIRING: Buffy/Angel
SPOILERS: Through Angel leaving.
RATING: PG
SUMMERY: It's on nights like these that she remembers him.
DISCLAIMER: I don't down anything, nothing, nada, zilch.
DEDICATION: Fred, because you know what it's like to have to make do with simply remembering. And to all of you who still have hope for B/A, there's hope as long as they never tell us they've fallen out of love.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Had the idea after hearing something a friend of mine told me. Whipped it out pretty quick. I kinda like it though. Angsty but hopeful.
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She remembers him in varying ways. On some nights she remembers when they first met and things were simple and easy. On others, she remembers finding out his true nature. On the really good nights she remembers loving him. On the worst she remembers still loving his demon.

She remembers the way he smelled. It had always been said that vampires had no real scent, just a distinctive stench of death that they had acquired in the grave, but he was different. She remembers that he smelled sweet and, this was the part that always got her, he smelled like peaches. Just kind of sweet, kind of tangy and fruity, in a good way.

She remembers the way that he was so kind and loving towards her. She remembers how he held her when she was sad and how he always had calming words for her when she was down. She remembers how he would kiss her temples and how it would always calm her more than anything else would in the world. Sometimes she remembers how he always knew what she really needed. How when she was really having a hard week how he would demand that she go home and sleep and eat and take a long bubble bath. And how when her world seemed to go spinning out of control he could just hold her and it seemed to stop it all.

She remembers the way that he would touch her. At first he was tentative and they shared secrets touches. The classic examples, a light brush of the shoulder, the way his hand would sometimes skim her knee when they sat by one another. And then they became fluid, he would take her hand in a sweeping movement and she knew she was truly loved. When they would go dancing he would casually drape her arm around her shoulders or her waist. It was purely possessive yet she never felt violated or controlled by him.

Most of all she remembers the way he would look at her. Sometimes it would be a smoldering look that told her how much he wanted her. And other times he would simply gaze at her as though he was amazed by her very existence. She remembers how at first she was uncomfortable under his gaze. And she remembers how when he finally left, she felt bare without it. She remembers how he always made her feel loved. And she realizes now that it wasn't how he looked at her that made her feel complete, it was that he was simply looking.

Buffy Summers remembers loving Angel every moment of her life. And some nights she can almost hear the rustling of the leaves outside as he climbs her window. She can almost feel his eyes gazing at her sleeping form. Most nights it's enough for her to simply remember.