Dear lord, I cried writing parts of this.. You guys better appreciate it too..

Chapter Four: In the Meaning of Life...And Death

Draco stared down in half shock, half confusion at what lay in front of him. It was over. He couldn't do this. He couldn't. This wasn't happening; it must have all been some kind of dream. A very horrible, cruel dream. And Draco desperately wanted to wake up before something happened. His breathing seemed to stop, his heart beat speed up. He was totally oblivious to everything around him. The pouring rain, intense cold.

"Loyalty can be a beautiful thing. If not one of the only beautiful things in this world," came Voldemort's voice from some where behind him. Draco didn't pay attention. He had collapsed to his knees and was starting to breathe heavily. Rapid painful breaths. His lungs felt as though they were about to explode.

Slowly, he turned his head away from the table.

"Y-you.can't be serious," he stuttered. Voldemort smirked at him.

"I am VERY serious Mr. Malfoy. If you don't finish this test...you die,"

"I can't...I-I won't do it,"

"You can and you will. Or else you will be forced to," Voldemort hadn't Draco a small sharp object. A dagger. Snakes entwining on his hilt. The reality of all this came flooding into Draco. He shook is head furiously.

"No," he said flatly. Voldemort merely nodded.

"Fine," he hissed. "You chose the hard way," Voldemort thrust out his wand and he suddenly a feeling of nothingness swept over him. He wasn't sure what was happening. But, he had felt it before. Sometime in DADA perhaps. It was as if he was watching everything from far away. He couldn't control his actions. Couldn't stop himself. He.no the Draco he was watching stood up from the ground and grasped the dagger in his hands. Slowly he made his way to the table. Draco wanted to yell at himself to stop. To quite what he was doing. But nothing worked. Draco reached the table and stared down. His eyes void of any feelings or emotions. He brought his hand high in the air...and plunged.

Suddenly, the spell was over. Draco cried out as though he had been burned. He didn't dare look down. There was some kind of thick liquid on his hands. He closed his eyes and gulped. He peeled his eyes away from the darkness and opened them...

"Adrienne..." he whimpered. He looked down at her. Her long blond hair was in tangles, her pony tail had fallen out. Draco gasped and fell on to her. Clutching her tiny body in his hands. He buried his face in her chest sobbing. But, no tears came out. He was just gulping for air. Hiccupping almost. He felt her stir a tiny bit. He brought his eyes to her face. She opened her mouth. Tears were streaking her face.

Two words were all that came out. "Draco...why?" Suddenly, her eyes lost every thing and became blank. Her head dropped to her side, her heart stopped.

"No!" Draco yelled into her shoulder. He wouldn't let go of her. He would NEVER let go of her. "What have I done? What have I done?" he cried. He didn't care what people thought of him now. Didn't care about those stupid Death Eaters. He didn't even care about dying. His only thought was that he wanted Adrienne back. Needed her back. He couldn't go on living without her. He couldn't go on living knowing he had did this to her. Knowing that he had brought her so much pain that had lead to her death.

"Ah, how touching," Voldemort said, starting to circle them. "But what IS the meaning of life and death. Nobody really knows for certain. But we all know that if something is weak...it doesn't survive. And she was weak Draco, and you know it. She would have died sooner or later, preferably sooner. She was a disgrace to the Malfoy name. You're helping to...let's say...purify your blood. She was useless to you. She took up space an energy. And yet..you loved her. Almost enough to betray what you are. So, that's why she had to go. Blame yourself if you will..."

And that's exactly what he did...

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The next few minutes seemed to passed in a blur. Draco didn't talk, didn't move. He stood completely still. He watched as the Death Eaters moved around him. They quickly went to Adrienne to collect some of her blood. Why? Draco had no clue. Many of them were muttering small incantations. Draco couldn't hear what they were saying. He couldn't hear anything for that matter except for his dear sister's last words, "Draco...why?" Those words would be imprinted on his soul forever. Until he died. He could tell what was to come. He would live his life in total nothingness, having nightmares day and night. Oblivious to the world around him. As he was now. Only now something caught his eyes. He turned his head toward it.

A Death Eater had moved to his side and was smearing blood on his upper- left arm. Adrienne's blood. A sick feeling came to his stomach and Draco thought that if this all wasn't over soon he'd puke...or worse. Faint.

Voldemort, who had been watching at a safe distance, came over to him.

"And now my boy...you become a Death Eater," he said, setting his wand over the blood spot. Draco stared down at it with enormous gray eyes. Voldemort started muttering something and light was coming from the spot on Draco's arm. The pain was almost unbearable. He bit down on his tongue to stop from screaming. He tasted blood in his mouth. The pain continued for the next minute or so. Just when Draco thought he couldn't stand any more of it and would rather die, it stopped. He sighed in slight relief and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Look at it. It's beautiful, isn't it," Voldemort said, staring down at Draco's arm.

And slowly, Draco too looked down at his left arm. What once was bare skin was now imprinted with a black skull, snake protruding from its mouth, piercing red eyes. The Dark Mark. Scorching his skin, black on white...forever.

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The next week or so paced without event. Draco didn't eat, sleep, talk, anything. He didn't know exactly what was happening to him. Now matter how much he thought about his sister, he couldn't shed a tear. It was as if he had gone into some sort of deeper grieve, much worse than crying. His emotions were blank, his expression was blank. A dark cloud of sorrow seemed to be hovering over him but it hadn't yet rained, leaving him in darkness. And without the rain, there would never be a rainbow. Never be a cure for his mourning.

For the past two days he had sat at the edge of his bed, staring out the window. The sky outside was black dreary. He slowly rocked back and forth. Back and forth. It became a sort of rhythm. Left, right, forward, backward. On his lap sat two objects. A small blood stained dagger and a picture. A small blond girl smiled and waved from the photo. She was wearing a long pink sundress. Her gray eyes filled with laughter and joy.

Despite all the festivities going on around him, Draco was totally unaware that it was indeed Christmas day. Though he had many, Draco wouldn't go down to receive his gifts. He wouldn't hand out his either.

Draco hadn't seen his father since the Meeting and was unable to see that he too was in mourning, though not as great as him.

How was he supposed to go to school? There must be some way to get out of it, mustn't there? There was no way he could be around that many people all at once. He wouldn't be able to bear it.

All too soon, Draco found himself packing his school things, the day before. How would people react? Surely, someone knew by now. Maybe Vincent and Gregory did. Maybe even Pansy.

As he walked out the door, school things dragging behind him. He looked out into the yard. He could remember taking Adrienne to the candy shop as though it were yesterday.

'You're really going to take me?' she had asked hopefully. Draco had looked up at his father as though pleading not to make him do it. Draco cursed himself for ever thinking that. He had wasted every precious moment with her. And now she was gone. He would never hear her voice, her laughter, her cries. He would never see those beautiful gray eyes always looking curious and innocent. Would never be able to feel her flowing hair as it twisted in the wind behind her. Never again. Draco gulped and stepped down the path. He made his way to the car. He watched as it pulled out and drove off down the road. Sat there silently as they made their way to Kings Cross to meet the Hogwarts Express.

Draco didn't pay attention to the fact that he was surrounded by people now. Men, women, children. All running around with luggage of different shapes and sizes. Draco saw people he recognized by none of it registered in his brain. He walked through everything without thinking. Passed the barrier without looking at the many he was colliding with. People came up to him, talked to him, gave him odd looks. He paid attention to none of it.

Draco was suddenly aware of a presence on his left. A fare off voice broke through his tiny barrier and shook him back to the realization of where he actually was.

"Draco? Draco! Come on, there trains already stopped, you need to get off or we're going to be late," it was Pansy. Couldn't the girl just take the hint that he wanted to be left alone?

Slowly, he made his way after her and exited the train. Dim sunlight poured down on him from the sky which was speckled with dark clouds off in the east. He turned his head and looked up at the looming figure that was Hogwarts...he was back...

A/N!: Okay, I know that was a little too short (a little? I mean WAY too short) but I wanted to make him going back to school a new chapter. And besides, don't you think enough's happen to him for a while? Yes, you can shoot me know for being so absolutely mean and cruel to Draco. But you might want to save all your bullets for later because more is to come.

Bravo to those who guess it would be his sister. You get a cookie for your mind works the same way as mine does...

P.S. did anyone else find that a bit angsty?