Artemis typed in the search criteria, his fingers barely able to keep
up with his mind. He glanced at the round, gold coins on his desk, he typed
in the serial number of the top coin. There it was! Proof that witches and
wizards existed. He sat back, fingers steepled in front of his face.
"Butler." He called softly; Butler stepped out of the shadows.
"Master Artemis?"
"It appears we have found a whole new species to exploit and I know exactly how to go about doing it."
"Artemis, you promised Holly Short that you would leave the fairies alone."
"Oh no Butler. These are not fairies." He chuckled softly and swiveled the chair around so he was facing Butler. "Oh no, these are wizards and I am quite certain that the fairies will have no qualms about our, "meeting" them."
"Wizards, Artemis?" This, in Butler's opinion, was the last straw. "I will have no part in this."
"Oh no? He grabbed the coins in his fist and then opened his palm, the gold shone, reflecting on Artemis' bleached face.
Butler restrained himself. "You promised that upon Master Fowl's return you would refrain from criminal activity."
"Yes, but that was before I realised that my father would not be contributing to the family wealth. I can do this without you Butler."
Butler would have liked to have turned and left the Fowl Manor right then however he knew that Artemis would go on, even without him and that his departure would throw only a small wrench into the operation. But the deeper reason, the reason that Butler knew was true, was that Artemis was not merely his boss, but his heart's brother. He sighed. "And how are we to steal money from these creatures?"
~*~*~*~*~*~
Ron dropped down beside Harry, his copy of the Daily Prophet tucked under his arm. "Hey 'Arry!" he said, shoveling a biscuit into his mouth. "Read this." He handed Harry the post.
"Child activates flying pram, alarms Muggles in South Africa. Ron are you mad? Why do I care?"
"Not that one you git, this one."
"Former Gringotts goblin in league with Muggle crime lord, fairies say it's too late. Okay, so...what?"
"This fourteen year old kid actually broke into Gringotts. A fourteen year old MUGGLE. And he got a ton of cash. But further down in the article it says this kid is some sort of super-genius and he's been accepted into Hogwarts. A fourteen year old MUGGLE."
"If he's been accepted he's obviously not a Muggle Ron."
"But he's FOURTEEN!"
"You're fourteen."
"Only for twenty more days."
"So? Maybe this kid is only fourteen for seven more days. Who knows? So when is he coming?"
"Right now." Hermione said suddenly as the doors to the Great Hall burst open. A tall man who by all means could have been half-giant stepped in, his shadow almost hiding the small dark-haired boy in front of him.
"I didn't know Malfoy had a brother." Ron grumbled sourly.
"Oh hush. He's far more handsome than Malfoy."
"Eww! Hermione! Have you lost your mind? He's a Muggle!"
"So am I!" Hermione said, tossing her pumpkin juice into Ron's face.
"So if he's magical why on Earth didn't they let him in when he was eleven?"
"It says somewhere in that article that he hasn't shown any signs of magic before the Gringott's incident."
They looked up as Dumbledore stood. "Students! We are happy to be welcoming a new arrival, Mister Artemis Fowl II! Mister Fowl, if you will please sit on the stool, you will be sorted into your house momentarily." The boy went forward and put the hat on his head. The big man retreated to the shadows.
They watched for almost five minutes before the hat screamed blankly and dropped from the boy's head. The boy sat, smiling sardonically. Dumbledore leaned down and lifted the hat from the floor and listened to it for a moment. He turned to Fowl, his eyes wide.
"Well?" Artemis asked.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Artemis and Butler met with the tiny goblin on August 29th. He explained what they were to do hurriedly and Artemis handed him the money. It took them less than an hour to infiltrate the bank, remove vast funds from one of the vaults and return to the twisted alleyway.
"They call that security?" Artemis said, shaking his head. "What a pity," he drawled, "That they have such beautiful building and such tiny brains."
"What's money if it isn't shared?" Butler said, smiling worriedly. He wanted to get out of this alleyway. He did not like these people and he did not like that they all seemed to be staring at him and Artemis. Suddenly, from out of perhaps a thousand other people on the crowded street an owl selected them and swooped down. It did not stay long enough for Butler to wring it's neck, it merely dropped a letter into Artemis' hand and left.
Artemis opened the letter lazily. The only change in his face was a slight arch in his eyebrows and a shrug as he handed the letter to Butler.
Butler opened it and read the contents and looked at Artemis. "They want you to go to their school?"
"Apparently. It says somewhere in that letter that they've seen some sort of late magic powers in me."
"Well, are you going to accept?"
"What else am I going to spend this gold on?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ron looked at the crumpled hat in Dumbledore's hands. "D'you reckon he's killed it?"
"It's a hat you eejit, you can't kill a hat."
"Oh you'd be surprised." Ron replied, but he did not pursue the inquiry.
Across the hall children were straining their necks to see the boy, but his face was a disappointment. Instead of being shocked or even slightly taken aback he was looking rather bored with the entire production.
"You'd think he would show a bit of concern. I mean he's just done what no other person in the history of Hogwarts has done."
Harry studied the boy for a moment. He was small and lithe, certainly not an athlete. His face was bleached and his dark hair fell over his forehead. Harry supposed that if he was girl he would certainly consider the boy as handsome, in a weird kind of way.
"I dunno, he doesn't seem very impressed with any of this. Maybe he's blind or something." Harry shrugged and took another roll.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Artemis first showed the letter to his mother and father they had suspected forgery but Butler had eventually convinced them of it's authenticity. They had relented, allowing him to go. He purchased his supplies, bought an owl and turned up at the school on the seventh of September.
He sat on the bench and put the hat on his head. This was the most ridiculous thing he had ever done in his life. When he took the hat off they would ask him to stand up, tell them his name and age and how long he had been sober.
"It certainly is not!" the hat had said.
"Not ridiculous? I daresay your brim has been stitched on too tightly." Artemis had read as much about Hogwarts as he could, including the hat.
"Inside of me there is brains of four of the most prominent wizards and witches of all time."
"How clever of them. That must be it then."
"What must be it?"
"Everyone here is so empty headed because of the mandatory lobotomy they get. Will you hurry up and sort me?"
"Not until you change your attitude!"
"What, are you the school's conscience as well?"
This was a round the time that the hat started to scream. It had no idea what to do. This child had a superiority complex, a common Slytherin trait, but he was also haughty and stand-offish. Very Ravenclaw. He had a short-temper, Gryfindor all the way but he had a very Hufflepuff-ish dislike for randomness. The hat had no idea where to put him. Never before had he failed to sort someone. So the hat did the only logical thing he could think of. He died.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dumbledore stared at the hat. It was no longer the Sorting hat it was just a hat. Dumbledore sighed, he didn't miss it. The hat tended to insult him periodically through-out the year.
"What do we do, Minerva?"
"Well I don't know! It isn't in the handbook."
"What do they do at Durmstrang?" Someone asked.
"They don't have houses at Durmstrang."
"We could let him pick." Someone suggested.
"Well we can't let everyone pick can we? We would have no Hufflepuffs."
"Is it just the hat that's died? Or have the brains died as well?"
There were several moments of confusion and then, as if guided by a giant hand, all the faculty turned to look at Artemis Fowl.
He smiled innocently. "Have we got everything in order?"
"Butler." He called softly; Butler stepped out of the shadows.
"Master Artemis?"
"It appears we have found a whole new species to exploit and I know exactly how to go about doing it."
"Artemis, you promised Holly Short that you would leave the fairies alone."
"Oh no Butler. These are not fairies." He chuckled softly and swiveled the chair around so he was facing Butler. "Oh no, these are wizards and I am quite certain that the fairies will have no qualms about our, "meeting" them."
"Wizards, Artemis?" This, in Butler's opinion, was the last straw. "I will have no part in this."
"Oh no? He grabbed the coins in his fist and then opened his palm, the gold shone, reflecting on Artemis' bleached face.
Butler restrained himself. "You promised that upon Master Fowl's return you would refrain from criminal activity."
"Yes, but that was before I realised that my father would not be contributing to the family wealth. I can do this without you Butler."
Butler would have liked to have turned and left the Fowl Manor right then however he knew that Artemis would go on, even without him and that his departure would throw only a small wrench into the operation. But the deeper reason, the reason that Butler knew was true, was that Artemis was not merely his boss, but his heart's brother. He sighed. "And how are we to steal money from these creatures?"
~*~*~*~*~*~
Ron dropped down beside Harry, his copy of the Daily Prophet tucked under his arm. "Hey 'Arry!" he said, shoveling a biscuit into his mouth. "Read this." He handed Harry the post.
"Child activates flying pram, alarms Muggles in South Africa. Ron are you mad? Why do I care?"
"Not that one you git, this one."
"Former Gringotts goblin in league with Muggle crime lord, fairies say it's too late. Okay, so...what?"
"This fourteen year old kid actually broke into Gringotts. A fourteen year old MUGGLE. And he got a ton of cash. But further down in the article it says this kid is some sort of super-genius and he's been accepted into Hogwarts. A fourteen year old MUGGLE."
"If he's been accepted he's obviously not a Muggle Ron."
"But he's FOURTEEN!"
"You're fourteen."
"Only for twenty more days."
"So? Maybe this kid is only fourteen for seven more days. Who knows? So when is he coming?"
"Right now." Hermione said suddenly as the doors to the Great Hall burst open. A tall man who by all means could have been half-giant stepped in, his shadow almost hiding the small dark-haired boy in front of him.
"I didn't know Malfoy had a brother." Ron grumbled sourly.
"Oh hush. He's far more handsome than Malfoy."
"Eww! Hermione! Have you lost your mind? He's a Muggle!"
"So am I!" Hermione said, tossing her pumpkin juice into Ron's face.
"So if he's magical why on Earth didn't they let him in when he was eleven?"
"It says somewhere in that article that he hasn't shown any signs of magic before the Gringott's incident."
They looked up as Dumbledore stood. "Students! We are happy to be welcoming a new arrival, Mister Artemis Fowl II! Mister Fowl, if you will please sit on the stool, you will be sorted into your house momentarily." The boy went forward and put the hat on his head. The big man retreated to the shadows.
They watched for almost five minutes before the hat screamed blankly and dropped from the boy's head. The boy sat, smiling sardonically. Dumbledore leaned down and lifted the hat from the floor and listened to it for a moment. He turned to Fowl, his eyes wide.
"Well?" Artemis asked.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Artemis and Butler met with the tiny goblin on August 29th. He explained what they were to do hurriedly and Artemis handed him the money. It took them less than an hour to infiltrate the bank, remove vast funds from one of the vaults and return to the twisted alleyway.
"They call that security?" Artemis said, shaking his head. "What a pity," he drawled, "That they have such beautiful building and such tiny brains."
"What's money if it isn't shared?" Butler said, smiling worriedly. He wanted to get out of this alleyway. He did not like these people and he did not like that they all seemed to be staring at him and Artemis. Suddenly, from out of perhaps a thousand other people on the crowded street an owl selected them and swooped down. It did not stay long enough for Butler to wring it's neck, it merely dropped a letter into Artemis' hand and left.
Artemis opened the letter lazily. The only change in his face was a slight arch in his eyebrows and a shrug as he handed the letter to Butler.
Butler opened it and read the contents and looked at Artemis. "They want you to go to their school?"
"Apparently. It says somewhere in that letter that they've seen some sort of late magic powers in me."
"Well, are you going to accept?"
"What else am I going to spend this gold on?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ron looked at the crumpled hat in Dumbledore's hands. "D'you reckon he's killed it?"
"It's a hat you eejit, you can't kill a hat."
"Oh you'd be surprised." Ron replied, but he did not pursue the inquiry.
Across the hall children were straining their necks to see the boy, but his face was a disappointment. Instead of being shocked or even slightly taken aback he was looking rather bored with the entire production.
"You'd think he would show a bit of concern. I mean he's just done what no other person in the history of Hogwarts has done."
Harry studied the boy for a moment. He was small and lithe, certainly not an athlete. His face was bleached and his dark hair fell over his forehead. Harry supposed that if he was girl he would certainly consider the boy as handsome, in a weird kind of way.
"I dunno, he doesn't seem very impressed with any of this. Maybe he's blind or something." Harry shrugged and took another roll.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Artemis first showed the letter to his mother and father they had suspected forgery but Butler had eventually convinced them of it's authenticity. They had relented, allowing him to go. He purchased his supplies, bought an owl and turned up at the school on the seventh of September.
He sat on the bench and put the hat on his head. This was the most ridiculous thing he had ever done in his life. When he took the hat off they would ask him to stand up, tell them his name and age and how long he had been sober.
"It certainly is not!" the hat had said.
"Not ridiculous? I daresay your brim has been stitched on too tightly." Artemis had read as much about Hogwarts as he could, including the hat.
"Inside of me there is brains of four of the most prominent wizards and witches of all time."
"How clever of them. That must be it then."
"What must be it?"
"Everyone here is so empty headed because of the mandatory lobotomy they get. Will you hurry up and sort me?"
"Not until you change your attitude!"
"What, are you the school's conscience as well?"
This was a round the time that the hat started to scream. It had no idea what to do. This child had a superiority complex, a common Slytherin trait, but he was also haughty and stand-offish. Very Ravenclaw. He had a short-temper, Gryfindor all the way but he had a very Hufflepuff-ish dislike for randomness. The hat had no idea where to put him. Never before had he failed to sort someone. So the hat did the only logical thing he could think of. He died.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dumbledore stared at the hat. It was no longer the Sorting hat it was just a hat. Dumbledore sighed, he didn't miss it. The hat tended to insult him periodically through-out the year.
"What do we do, Minerva?"
"Well I don't know! It isn't in the handbook."
"What do they do at Durmstrang?" Someone asked.
"They don't have houses at Durmstrang."
"We could let him pick." Someone suggested.
"Well we can't let everyone pick can we? We would have no Hufflepuffs."
"Is it just the hat that's died? Or have the brains died as well?"
There were several moments of confusion and then, as if guided by a giant hand, all the faculty turned to look at Artemis Fowl.
He smiled innocently. "Have we got everything in order?"
