"Did you know that Artemis is a chess master?" Hermione asked later that evening.

"Great." Ron mumbled. "I thought you hated him. You were all running around trying to show him up. You made a bloody fake IQ test just so you could look as smart as him." He said in a louder voice.

"He knew the test was a fake." Hermione said sourly. "But he's fluent in Russian. Isn't that neat?"

"Not really." Harry said under his breath from behind his Quidditch magazine.

Ron grinned at him then turned back to Hermione. "So what suddenly turned Artemis Fowl into a golden god."

Hermione missed the sarcasm. "He's had a hard life. What with his father being kidnapped and all. Well and his mother went insane and he gave the faeries half of their gold back just so they'd make her better. If that's not noble-"

"It would be even more noble if he hadn't stolen the money in the first place." Harry said quietly. Ron snorted and Hermione shot him a look.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Wow Hermione. HALF of the money he had already STOLEN. Wow. I can see a medal of honour, a statue of him in Trafalgar square-"

"A gargoyle at St Mary's-" Harry said softly.

Ron laughed again and Hermione threw up her hands. "You just refuse to meet new people. Fine. Fine I don't care. I'll make my own friends." She burst angrily out of the common room.

"Somehow I thought this moment would be different." Ron said, sitting down next to Harry. "Where's the balloons?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione found Artemis where she knew he would be, in the library. She poured out her entire, pathetic story, ending with "So then I told them I would make new friends."

"Congratulations." Artemis said, not looking up from the miniature astrnomy globe that he was intent on.

"Artemis!" She shrieked. "Don't you get it? Now they'll not speak to me."

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Artemis asked, thinking inside about how the whole business of friends and fighting was rather tiresome.

"No! Don't you get it? You're so STUPID sometimes! I wanted them to apologise. Ron especially. But they never do and now I've gone and made a mess of things."

Artemis sighed and set his wand down, casting a last longing glance at the globe. "Why don't you just tell them that you made a mistake?"

"Because they would laugh at me!"

"So why don't you make new friends?"

"Because I can't make new friends! Everyone thinks I'm a know it all. And I can't play Quidditch and I'm a Mudblood." Hermione dropped her head.

Artemis sighed and scratched his nose. A major gesture coming from him. "You're right about that. However, I don't see why you can't learn to play Quidditch."

"It's not easy like rounders or football!" Hermione exclaimed. Artemis decided he wouldn't tell her that he couldn't even lift a rounders bat. He pulled out a piece of paper instead and began writing some stuff down. "What's that?" Hermione asked him.

"I'm measuring the speed of the ball versus-" He trailed off but continued to write. When he was finished he held up the paper in front of his face. "You can actually predict who the bludger is going to go strike." He said, astonished. "If the wind is right, judging on the speed of the main players-" He stood up.

"Where are you going?" Hermione asked.

"To try out for Quidditch."