Disclaimer: Not mine. So bite me.
A/N: Ok, so if this chapter is kinda screwy, don't blame me. I just rammed my right ear against a wooden blackboard and I have a cut on the lobe, along with the whole ear red. Along with the package came a ram to the right side of my head, so now there is some blue black on the side of my head. Don't know if it affected my brain or my writing, but it did not affect my netball, so I suppose I'll live. Go netball! (DIE SILEI DIE! Kidding... Who the heck would kill the world's best GD?!)
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If there was one thing that could describe Daleria's expression right then, it would only take four words. Totally, crazily, madly hilarious. If it could, her jaw would have fallen down ten meters under. She was staring in shock at Rapieratce, who could not help but chuckle at the highly... Amusing look that had been imprinted on her face. Sitting back totally at ease, arms folded and eyebrow quirked, he watched amused as Daleria began to try to speak out loud, only resulting in a few spluttering noises as she looked at Rapieratce hysterically as if he was insane, which was partially true. If not for self control, Rapieratce would have been rolling on the floor in laughter. The colonel had, never, ever seen such as half enraged half disbelieving part of the hare captain, and he found it extremely comical, as the look on his face clearly stated, which only helped in infuriating Daleria up another notch. Rapieratce swore that if he did not laugh he was going to turn purple right then. Finally, after a few moments of rather amusing silence, Daleria managed to get a legible word out of her agape mouth, still staring at the colonel as if he were mad. Rapieratce was looking relaxed for the first time in a long while, though.
'WHAT?'
Chuckling slightly, which was starting to drive Daleria up the wall, the colonel went on to try to further infuriate her by replying in a increasingly annoying steady tone.
'I know that you bally well heard me, captain. I am going to follow you. Surely you understand the meaning of that?'
Daleria had to restrain the urge to stand up and strangle Rapieratce's still smiling face off his neck. Struggling to sit up, she shot back.
'Of course I do, colonel. And yes, I do understand that you are going to follow me. But why on Mossflower?'
This only seemed to amuse Rapieratce even more, for some odd reason. He seemed to think it very funny that he and Daleria were on such casual terms that she was going to the point of trying to attempt murder on him. Laughing softly, he sat back and simply looked at her, not even attempting to answer her question, which was starting to really, really annoy her. Really. After watching her for another few moments in silent laughter, he went on.
'So are you bally well simply going to sit there and gape at me, captain? And do you think you could ask the sergeant to stop hiding behind the infirmary door and come out along with the rest of your patrol?'
Daleria's train of sight shot from the colonel to Longrunn, who had emerged from behind the infirmary door and was staring at the colonel's back, as stunned as Daleria was that he even knew that he was there. The rest of her patrol sheepishly revealed themselves one by one, and Rapieratce had to resist the urge to simply howl with laughter. The situation to him was very amusing, it seemed. Not to Daleria, though. She looked ready to throttle the first beast that came into attacking range once she got out of the massive tangle of white sheets that were currently the only restraint from her and the chuckling colonel, who was, according to her, in serious trouble once she was out of there. Daleria was formulating a plan on cornering him and throttling him in some dark corner where nobeast would notice. Longrunn was still standing there, not knowing where to go from there, simply looking from Daleria to the colonel and back again. The colonel went on to irritate them even more by asking in a annoyingly smooth voice,
'Have all of you chaps lost your voices?'
Giving up on speaking, Longrunn had decided to cover up by going off to drag a few chairs over, leaving Daleria and the rest of her patrol at the colonel's mercy. Fleetpaw was shaking her head in confusion, while Lieutenant Dallaw was trying himself not to laugh out loud at both his commanding officers actions, and stood aside to avoid falling into the death list of Daleria's. Rapieratce spoke again.
'So, are you going to be bringing this lot along with you?'
Rapieratce tilted his head to the group that was still standing behind him. Daleria managed to get out something that sounded relatively like "Surely he has gone mad" or something in that manner before properly raising her voice and answering.
'I suppose that I have no choice now, do I, colonel?'
Shaking his head, Rapieratce was still desperately trying to contain his laughter, which was threatening to boil over right then.
'No, I do not suppose you do. So when will you be leaving?'
'What makes you even sure that I will be, sah?'
At this, Rapieratce could hold in back no more, and laughed out loud, though quietly as not to disturb the others in the infirmary. Shaking in silent laughter at the captains indignant voice in the background that seemed to be objecting to him laughing, Rapieratce took quite some time to compose himself before putting in,
'You? Not leave the mountain at a blinkin time like this? Surely you joke, captain? If I know you, you would not stay in this mountain unless we chain you to it, as recent events have clearly shown.'
Trembling in laughter, the colonel had to choke back a few more bouts of laughter before finally managing to fully compose himself enough to listen to Daleria.
'I suppose that you are right, sah, but is there really a need to burst out laughing?'
'No, I suppose that there is not. But this situation is way to funny to pass without laughter.'
'I do not find it very amusing, sah.'
'Do you, know?'
Daleria was once again restraining herself from going there and chopping his head clean off.
'No, I do not. I suppose, then, that I will be leaving as soon as those filthy foxes come close enough, if I manage to get past you and Consellariel.'
Feigning comical innocence, Rapieratce pointed to himself.
'Me, captain? Why would I stop you?'
'Stop trying to be funny, 'Atce, you are only helping in increasing the urge for me to murder you.'
'I am sure that you shall be able to manage that, captain.'
'When I get my hands on you...'
'I feel scared, captain, very much so.'
Daleria really, really wanted to chuck him off the mountain right then. Instead, she settled for asking him even more questions.
'You will not be stopping me, then?'
'Stopping you? I am joining you m'gel.'
'The lady will not be happy.'
'I know.'
'She will stop me, if nobeast else will.'
'We will just have to bally well
not let her, then.'
