::Consciences::
Disclaimer: BL-AH!
A/N: Sowee for the wait! My computer(s) are having SERVERE networking problems, so, most unfortunately, none of the two main fics are going to be updated very much for a while. HOWEVER, NONE of them have ended, not by farrrrrrrrrrrrrr….
*
Consellariel looked over to Remora and Glamoren, who were both standing at her side as they watched Daleria storm straight back to the mountain's interior, with Longrunn trailing after her in an effort to calm the hare captain down from her rage. The badger lady sighed heavily.
'What have I done to deserve this from her? All I want is to get her to understand that what I did was for the best. I would never have done such a thing in normal circumstance. You both know that I would never have. Yet Daleria refuses to accept it.'
Remora looked at the distant image of the captain stalking into the entrance of the mountain. Longrunn had stopped, obviously realizing that talking sense into the captain was going to be impossible in her current state.
'Daleria's like that, marm. She will take her own time to come to her right senses. Though, it would be better if Rapieratce were around to help her out here. He always manages to get some sense into the captain.'
'But Rapieratce is not in the right position to do so.'
*
Daleria strode heatedly into the mountain; rage boiling up in her like a volcano. She sensed Longrunn stopping behind her, but cared not. The captain stalked straight to her dorm, and washed herself to get rid of all the dirt and blood that she had attained over the battle. She winced as the water touched various open wounds, hissing slightly, but the anger inside of her was enough to make her ignore it. Consellariel was a fool not to let her go. She could have ended it. Rapieratce would not have been dying right them. Cosenet and the rest of the hostages would not have been in such a bad state if she had tried to stop it. But Consellariel would not consent her to do so.
You cannot blame the badger lady for this. Face your fears, Dale. You know that what happened would never have stopped even if you had been released from your hold. It could have even been worse.
But look at Rapieratce! Look at how he suffers now!
Put not the blame of your personal thoughts on others, Dale.
I know… But still, something is not right. My friends are dying, it just is not correct.
Seppak is the only to blame here Dale, and he is dead.
Yet I cannot give myself advice that I do not have, can I?
You need to talk to Rapieratce, Dale.
Rapieratce is dying.
A tear trickled down Daleria's face. Why must life always target on her? The suffering was bad enough, but each day, as she began more and more than the vicious parts of her life were then over, and that there was nobeast left to blame, that the truth was really real. The sudden realization that she had been able to elude for ten seasons. That her family was dead. Gone. That she was the only one left. That she was alone. The thought scared her, and it was that acute pain in her heart. That so much suffering, so much pain, and so much distraught was brought along by her. She had killed, without remorse, and nearly been killed. That she was now left to herself, alone in the world, with no aim in sight that would be able to take away the pain, the fear, the loneliness. That what had happened, really did happen. Alone. The captain washed away the rest of the blood and threw on a new tunic.
*
The captain moved down noiselessly from her dormitory to the infirmary, brushing past hares, from medics to the injured, all the way back to the very last chamber of the infirmary, where the personal wards were. Daleria pushed one of the doors open. Rapieratce did not stir. The colonel was on the bed, still as death, unmoving and pale. And yet he lived. Daleria collapsed into a chair and shook silently, watching the colonel on the bed. What she needed now was some good, comforting advice, yet there was nobeast to offer it to her. Staring impassively forward, Daleria felt herself slip away, drifting off in her mind, leaving behind everything. The world became empty, and her mind wandered on the unknown paths that none went, seeking something, seeking something to keep her alive, to keep her sane, to keep her living. A need for a fuel, something to push her on. And yet she found nothing as she ran through the empty corridors of her mind, nothing that showed her peace. She tossed and turned in her internal torment, so hopeless and empty. Why did so many suffer because of her? Why did all her close friends, compatriots, family, companions, everybeast, why did they suffer due to her? Was hope so far away as was salvation? Daleria did not know.
Wake up 'Atce. Please. Just wake up.
*
Three days had passed by. Nobeast had yet managed to pull Daleria out of her reverie and away from the infirmary. She had not eaten, drunk nor moved. She was paling to the point of death. Remora and Glamoren talked as they walked towards the infirmary, thinking of trying to get Daleria to understand. Both knew they would fail, but nonetheless, it might be good for the captain to keep some company.
'That un's not going to survive very much longer at this rate. Somebeast needs to talk some sense into her.'
'You know that Dale doesn't listen to us, 'Moren.'
'I know verily well, 'Mora. That captain only seemed to be kept under control by 'Atce.'
'Too true. Then again, 'Atce always had a good control over others. Something about him, I suppose.'
'That's why he's a colonel.'
'And most unfortunately, why he's dying.'
'Rapieratce's conscience is indeed one that keeps him morally one of the highest in this mountain. Never will give in, he will. He'd better wake soon, or Dale'll kill herself first.'
The brigadier and the major entered the infirmary to nearly delirious sobbing and cries. It looked as if the colonel had managed to pull through after all, and was then trying to calm the captain beside him down. Daleria was not listening.
'Calm down, Dale. I'm perfectly fine!'
'Fine? How can you say that? You're injured nearly everywhere, you've been in here for four days without stirring, got poisoned, and you say you are fine?!'
'Dale, I'm alive, and I think that considers me as fine.'
Daleria managed to calm herself down. Remora and Glamoren entered. Glamoren raised an eyebrow at Rapieratce.
'What took you so long?'
