'Atce…?'
The time was late. Very late. The stars twinkled in the mezzanine between the dead of the night and that of the morning. A further week had passed since the last. The colonel turned over from his side position on his bed and looked groggily over to his door, throwing on a tunic next to his beside in the process. Squinting, he recognized the voice through the darkness as that of the captain's.
'Dale? Wot on earth are you doing here?'
Rapieratce struck a flint and lighted a candle on his table, picking it up by its holder and walking over to his door and lifting it up to eye level. Daleria stood there, looking extremely unsettled. The past week had been ridden with memories, thoughts inside her head that were beginning to get unbearable. She had hoped to talk to Rapieratce, and get some advice that she genuinely needed right them. Rapieratce looked concernedly over at her, noticing her predicament, motioning to get the captain into his room, shutting his door gently behind her. Daleria stood there, waiting for him to acknowledge her. The colonel raised a questioning eyebrow at her before motioning to his bed, of which she sat down on. Rapieratce set his down on his table and sat down next to her.
'Wot's wrong, Dale?'
Daleria looked despairingly over to him, recalling all the bad memories, dreams, nightmares that seemed to haunt her at every corner of the night. It was driving her insane, beyond the point of words. She badly wanted to put a stop to all the madness.
'I do not know, 'Atce. At least not truly, and if so, not thoroughly enough. And that's what's worrying me, 'Atce, to no end. I can't sleep at night, but I don't know why! It's killing me! I can't live like this… It's like a bottomless emotion, driving me crazy. It's like living everything all over again. From… From my family… and Clandestine. And the war. All the way up to what it is leading to now… It's mixing up into a boiling creation, tearing at me. I need to get out of here, 'Atce. At least for a day. Away from Salamandastron. From Consellariel. And the war, 'Atce… It's getting worse.'
Rapieratce looked over at her, examining her. Daleria was looking desperate and sorrowful, worried by thoughts and haunted by dreams. It was as if she really needed to get away for a short time. The captain, in his opinion, had been in need of one for a long time. A time far too long overdue.
'Dale… How long has this been going on, m'gel?'
Daleria shrugged offhandedly, trying to wave off his question.
'Not long.'
'Dale.'
Rapieratce looked evenly over her, his green eyes scanning her own black ones with ferocious intent, roving like an intent eagle, boring down into her very heart. The captain knew that he knew her fat too well for her to lie to him. Rapieratce sighted at her softly, knowing that Daleria's problem might lead to something very dangerous for her. The captain was fragile enough, sore from wounds yet unhealed in her heart, and the fact that Daleria knew that her emotions were tangled only made her hide them even more.
'You don't have to lie, Dale. You can't.'
Daleria glared at the colonel, but he only smiled slightly. Daleria felt her spirits lift slightly, but she frowned again as she recalled her memories, haunting her. She gathered her knees up to her chin and rested her head there. Rapieratce let her take her time, knowing Daleria well enough.
'I'm so confused, 'Atce. Why can't I just let it all fade away? I don't want to live like this! I just want to put it all behind me and start again. It's crashing down on me, all that I kept hidden away all these seasons. The reality of it, that they're not coming back. That I don't have a family anymore. That I'm alone. It's so hard, 'Atce, to sit in the dark, staring up at the ceiling trying to piece you life back together. To try and console myself with something that is not there, Why, 'Atce? Why…?'
'Whatever is done is done, Daleria. You cannot dwell on that anymore. Look to the future, and of what you have now.'
'I'm so scared, 'Atce… So scared…. What if I loose everything all over again.'
'You won't, Dale.'
Daleria smiled slightly at him. Rapieratce looked out his window watching the path of the stars dip even lower.
'You'd better go, y'know. If we're found like this, Consellariel is going to murder. As to the want of you to get away from Salamandastron for a time, I am quite sure that Jemerian's Jubilee over at Redwall is coming up soon.'
Daleria's face immediately lit up. The thought of seeing her old friend again appealed to her immensely.
'Old Jemerian?'
The colonel nodded, and Daleria looked pleadingly over at him. Rapieratce laughed softly, sending her out of his room.
'I'll see what I can do. Go off now, Dale. Get some sleep. Don't say you don't want to, Dale. Go!'
Daleria frowned at him, but went out all the same. Rapieratce chuckled, closed his door, blew out his candle and went back to sleep.
*
The day was already light, and had been for the past five hours. There was a knock on Rapieratce's door. Without looking up from his position at his desk, Rapieratce dipped his quill into a bottle of ink, responding automatically.
'Enter.'
Somebeast entered, but Rapieratce was intent on penning down whatever he was doing first. A few seconds later, he looked up.
'Dale? Wot are you doing here?'
Daleria shrugged absently.
'I was bored?'
'Nice try, Dale.'
'Fine! I just wanted to know a bit more about Jemerian's Jubilee!'
Rapieratce looked up at Daleria and laughed softly.
'You really are quite eager to go, aren't you? Don't worry, Dale. The Gousim shrews that sent the message are down in the halls. They're staying over until we can send somebeast or two over with them to Redwall. Go talk to them, wot, and I'll try to wheedle with Consellariel to let you go. She's rather worried about you, y'know.'
'The badger lady? I still haven't forgiven her for letting them stay and for leaving you out in the open.'
Rapieratce set down his quill and looked over to her.
'You cannot blame her, Dale. Sometimes, as military beasts, you should know that we have to make sacrifices over out consciences. Consellariel was only doing that.'
'It was still cruel.'
'Look at yourself, Dale. You weren't exactly merciful to that fox. The badger just wanted to do the best for a whole mountain full of hares, y'know. Forgive her, Dale. More strain has been on Consellariel than any of us. You cannot put the blame of your loss upon her.'
Daleria sighed at his words, knowing full well that Rapieratce spoke the truth. Rapieratce eyed her levelly for a moment. Daleria gazed straight back at him. Something in his eyes told her that what he said was the truth, not some propaganda of any sort, and even her own conscience told her that it was wise for her to heed him. Rapieratce knew she understood, thus bent his head and turned to his work, scratching at the parchment about a nunnery in Mossflower stumbling upon a family of voles. The colonel noted it down and traced it on a map, marking and labeling the spot. Not looking up, he waved a free paw at the captain.
'Off you go. You'll find out more from the shrews. And Consellariel is always there for when you need her.'
Daleria glared at him, and Rapieratce smiled down at his papers. Daleria nodded to him, and made move to exit, but Rapieratce looked up suddenly.
'Hang on a bit, Dale. Catch!'
Rapieratce threw the captain a sheaf of papers, which Daleria caught. Raising a questioning eyebrow at the colonel, she eyed the papers warily. Rapieratce explained.
'Papers of reports. Do me a favour and file yours. Please.'
'Atce! You know I hate paperwork.'
'Please…?'
'Atce. You never plead.'
'I made an exception. Please. Do me a favour. I'm going under all the after-war paperwork.'
Daleria scowled at him, but took the papers.
'I hate you.'
*
Rapieratce knocked on Consellariel's door, receiving a muffled enter in return. The colonel entered, saluted, and then sat down in a chair in front of the badger lady. Consellariel raised an eyebrow at him, and the colonel placed a piece of parchment on the badger lady's table.
'M'lady. The Gousim shrews of which you must have been informed of have brought a notice from Redwall. Jemerian, the Abbess, is celebrating her Jubilee, and has requested the presence of some of our hares at the celebrations.'
Consellariel nodded at him.
'Any you propose…?'
Rapieratce leaned back and sighed heavily.
'Daleria has been troubled of late. She has expressed a wish to let leave of the mountain for a while, and I thought it would be good for her to take leave of the mountain for some time to lax off. She has been under much stress, marm.'
Consellariel nodded again.
'Very well. Accompany her, Rapieratce. Bring Glamoren, Remora and Longrunn with you.'
Rapieratce nodded, waiting for dismissal. Consellariel withdrew a piece of parchment from a drawer, penned something down, and then sealed it. Handing it to the colonel, she gave him further instructions.
'Look after the captain, colonel. She has been hit rather hard by the war. She will not listen to me, not that I would blame her, had I been in her position. Try to talk to her, Rapieratce. Maybe you will get her to see. She listens to you more than anybeast else.'
'Yes marm. The Gousim are leaving the morn after the next. Do we leave with them?'
'Yes. It would be well. You should arrive in less than a week, in that case. Ask the head Log-a-Log if you might take a trip back after the winter.'
Rapieratce lifted his eyes to the badger lady's, question ringing through his green depths.
'You mean to let us stay an entire half season there?'
'The captain needs it. Besides, a half season is not too long time. Dismiss.'
