I Ate Chapter Eight. I'm tired, okay?
"Can we rest sometime soon? I think I feel a stroke coming. .." The fat child known as Ebizo complained. I can't believe his laziness! I wasn't tired at all, and I'm three feet tall! Sure, I was standing on RubyTentomon's transparent red back, but had I been his size, I'd be dashing to the City of Music.
"We just stopped ten minutes ago, Ebizo! Though I would like to ask, why are we staying here? Can't you go alone Ubeekimon?" The red-haired female one known as Mayuko wondered.
"I'll tell ya why! 'Cuz your dimension is crawling with vampires. They all want Hunters. Apparently Hunter blood tastes better than most, or something. .." The brilliant one known as Ubeekimon, i.e. me, answered.
"That's what I want to know! What's with these Hunters? Are there more?" My blue-haired partner, Kei asked me with his drooling primate face. Darn monkeys. Wait a second. ..
"I'll take this one, Ubeekimon. Hunters are the protectors of worlds. All of 'em have partners, from their respective alternate dimensions. They are devoted to the extermination of vampiric digimon. There are quite a few over here, you know," My good friend Triggamon intelligently replied.
"That's right. They were started by us digimon, but it didn't work. We needed to get stronger, so a few of us decided to bridge the gap between our world and yours. The constant power surges allowed us to digivolve, but some humans came through. .. Thus, Hunter Inc. was born!" My trusty steed RubyTentomon added.
"Not that it's all good. We're hated by most. The Vampires seem to be stronger, faster, and smarter, the fewer there are. We kill them, but they come right back. I think it has to do with server space and stuff. .." The mysterious ninja Samurmon contemplated.
"Ha! We can beat them, hands down! Right Samurmon?" Zenko, the "Digimon Grand Master" as he liked to be called, bragged.
Before he could reply, Samurmon began to fizz. There was really no other way to describe it, he just rippled for a half-second, and appeared to spasm after crouching on the ground. A storm seemed to occur over the horizon, too. "Hey, why's Samurmon acting all weird?" Ebizo asked, but before I could make a snide comment, he leaped to the air and faded away. Darn ninja.
"Well, where'd he go?" Kei impatiently demanded.
Zenko pulled out his watch. Pressing a small button on the left, he pointed forward. "He's that way."
"Good, 'cuz Music City's over there too!" I exclaimed, as I rode out of sight on top of RubyTentomon, "I'm coming, R-- I mean, we're coming, Samurmon!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After well over half an hour of running/standing, I could see Music City over the horizon. The last time I saw this view was the last time I saw my partner. I could see the image in my mind:
"No! You can't leave! You're the best Hunter around, and if you stop, we're all dead!" I had yelled, trying to stop him from zapping himself out of reality.
"I have no point to live anymore. I can't fight vampires. SHE's one of them. I fight them, I fight her. My need is gone, you know?" He stopped walking to fiddle with his watch.
"If you die, then even finding a remedy won't change a thing! We have to try, no matter what!" I had argued, losing my patience.
"There's no more TIME to discuss it. I'm doing this, and you can't change it!" He said, "Oh taco, they're coming," He replied, seeing a giant evil horned dog approaching, complete with walking human/vampire entourage. Immediately, I--
"Well? Where's Samurmon? Mayuko impatiently interrupted my thoughts.
"I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?!" Zenko and I simultaneously yelled.
"You may not, but I do," An eerie figure replied.
"AAAAAHH!!! MONSTER!!!" Someone who most certainly wasn't me (cough cough) fearfully screamed.
"Oh, it's you Samurmon. That's happy-making," mindless Neanderthal Kei blathered like the lesser under-evolved mammal he was.
I'm not bitter. He just rarely makes sense.
"Not for you. Bushido Dance!!!" Samurmon attacked, leaping to Zenko (I applaud his intelligence) with his sword prepared to stab. Not that I have any problem with stabbing, of course.
Evidently, Triggamon did.
Leaping in front of Zenko, she leveled her gun at Samurmon and fired. Miss.
"My, what a great shot you are. Follow Blade!" Samurmon prepared, regaining his footage on the ground in front of her. All eight feet quickly pulsed and pumped him back into the air. He tossed a single katana to the ground, which hit Triggamon, sending her to a convenient dirt pad in front of Mayuko.
"You can't lose now Triggamon! This ought to help! Bigpainfulchainsaw.exe!" Mayuko activated bigpainfulchainsaw.exe, giving Triggamon a big, painful looking chainsaw. Of course, Triggamon did not get up, being unconscious.
Having nothing to lose, I decided to. .. No, not buy a copy of the new Legend of Zelda game; though I wish I had; I decided to help! I froze some water out of the air's moisture above Triggamon's head and let loose. After about four minutes of hearing spluttering and spitting and gasping and screaming and drowning, I decided that helping was too much trouble and sat down again. It's not easy freezing moisture, folks!
Lucky for me, Triggamon was no longer not anti-unconscious. Samurmon, deciding to be honorable or whatever waited until then to strike. However, Triggamon was ready with the chainsaw. Mmm, chainsaw.
"Ha. Don't you realize that if you attack me you kill Samurmon instead? Pathetic," The evidently only-partly Samurmon gloated like cheese on a monkey. Lucky for us, a herd of Ogremon chose to take that exact moment to pass by. He-who-was-not-Samurmon leapt on the opportunity to not be Samurmon and be a champion instead. How cute.
You know, I hate being with all of these humans and easily-mind- controlled digimon. I've written a song about it. It's to the tune of "The Brady Bunch"!
Here's the story Of a bunch of losers Who were really really really really dumb If it were for me They'd all be rat food But they don't care so let us move on to my verse.
Here's the story Of a really smart monkey Who was better than a human, ain't it great? He was almost A real genius What the heck, I'll lie and say he really was.
So the people and the monkey and the ninja Got together (Oh I hate them all so much) So they joined up To fight some evil That is why I hate them all so very much.
So very much So very much That is why I hate them all oh so much!
Did you like it? Of course you did, I wrote it.
I'm getting off topic again, aren't I?
Sorry about that.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah: the Ogremon.
Indeed, being evil has its perks. For instance, you can betray anyone, and nobody else will eye a bat-lid. I mean, bat an eye-lid. The evil Ogremon busted up the caps of his entire lurching horde.
Another advantage is the really cool evil laugh you get! "Mwahaahaha. .. You have no chance to survive make your time. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!" you can even re-use old jokes.
"That's cruel. Triggamon, you avenge the busted caps of the cap- busted Ogremon," Zenko ordered. I have no idea what gave him that right.
"Sure. LEAD ZEPPELIN!" Triggamon complied with Zenko's request.
"YEARGH! BONE CUDGEL!" It yelled, throwing its bone at the incapacitated Samurmon.
"Hey! No fair!" Triggamon leaped in Samurmon's way, taking the blow.
"Hey. .. Thanks. .. Triggamon. .." Samurmon whispered, propping himself up with one of his arachnid legs, "Sword Beam!" (First ever author's note: I was watching Kirby, okay? A cookie for anyone who previously noticed the reference.)
"Huh. Puny Rookies. YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!!! PUMMEL WHACK!!!" The angered Ogremon yelled, lopping off Samurmon's sword-arm. I couldn't say sword, that wouldn't be violent enough!
"Hurgh. .. Don't be so sure. .." Samurmon whispered, barely able to keep his mind working.
"DNA DIGIVOLUTION!" Both Triggamon and Samurmon yelled in synchronization.
It was amazing. I'd never seen it before, I was half-dead when it last happened near me.
Their bodies shimmered for a moment, as though they were apart from the stormy typhoon. They then seemed to fall apart, leaving only the wire frames that made up the Digital World. They changed, the polygons shifted into halves of a warrior. They came together, and became a digimon again.
Standing at approximately ten feet, it was covered in guns, grenades, katana, and even some nun-chucks. You could see that this guy meant business. Long, blue hair, in an effeminate style, you nevertheless couldn't see whether this new digimon was inherently male, such as Samurmon, or naturally possessing female qualities, similar to Triggamon.
"Wh- Wh- Who ARE you?" The Ogremon gaped. Evidently, he was a fan of Stinkoman, too.
"I am Armegamon, the bringer of destruction. Prepare to perish. HOLOCAUST BLOW!" It spoke with a voice that knew all, as it were. The attack was like a nuclear strike, complete with multiple stabbings and explosions.
"I'm not going to give up that easily. BONE-" The evil Ogremon was cut off by the most vicious attack of all.
"EYE POKE!!!" The almighty Armegamon poked. After so long, the evil Ogremon was. .. Wait for it. .. BALEETED!!!!!!!!!!! (Second author's note: I promise, I'll lay off the Homestar copyright infringements from here on out.)
And with that the evil was destroyed. I think. He might have just possessed a nearby innocent. I'm amazed that no one commented on the already dead innocent Ogremon. Oh, and Samurmon got his arm back!
Ending notes:
Next chapter will (probably) be in the point of view of the vampire Toni, written by the very person she is. .. Sort of based on, I.E. Toni! Oh, and remember: this chapter is the best, because it was released to the public on Death-To-Pikachu-Day!
"Can we rest sometime soon? I think I feel a stroke coming. .." The fat child known as Ebizo complained. I can't believe his laziness! I wasn't tired at all, and I'm three feet tall! Sure, I was standing on RubyTentomon's transparent red back, but had I been his size, I'd be dashing to the City of Music.
"We just stopped ten minutes ago, Ebizo! Though I would like to ask, why are we staying here? Can't you go alone Ubeekimon?" The red-haired female one known as Mayuko wondered.
"I'll tell ya why! 'Cuz your dimension is crawling with vampires. They all want Hunters. Apparently Hunter blood tastes better than most, or something. .." The brilliant one known as Ubeekimon, i.e. me, answered.
"That's what I want to know! What's with these Hunters? Are there more?" My blue-haired partner, Kei asked me with his drooling primate face. Darn monkeys. Wait a second. ..
"I'll take this one, Ubeekimon. Hunters are the protectors of worlds. All of 'em have partners, from their respective alternate dimensions. They are devoted to the extermination of vampiric digimon. There are quite a few over here, you know," My good friend Triggamon intelligently replied.
"That's right. They were started by us digimon, but it didn't work. We needed to get stronger, so a few of us decided to bridge the gap between our world and yours. The constant power surges allowed us to digivolve, but some humans came through. .. Thus, Hunter Inc. was born!" My trusty steed RubyTentomon added.
"Not that it's all good. We're hated by most. The Vampires seem to be stronger, faster, and smarter, the fewer there are. We kill them, but they come right back. I think it has to do with server space and stuff. .." The mysterious ninja Samurmon contemplated.
"Ha! We can beat them, hands down! Right Samurmon?" Zenko, the "Digimon Grand Master" as he liked to be called, bragged.
Before he could reply, Samurmon began to fizz. There was really no other way to describe it, he just rippled for a half-second, and appeared to spasm after crouching on the ground. A storm seemed to occur over the horizon, too. "Hey, why's Samurmon acting all weird?" Ebizo asked, but before I could make a snide comment, he leaped to the air and faded away. Darn ninja.
"Well, where'd he go?" Kei impatiently demanded.
Zenko pulled out his watch. Pressing a small button on the left, he pointed forward. "He's that way."
"Good, 'cuz Music City's over there too!" I exclaimed, as I rode out of sight on top of RubyTentomon, "I'm coming, R-- I mean, we're coming, Samurmon!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After well over half an hour of running/standing, I could see Music City over the horizon. The last time I saw this view was the last time I saw my partner. I could see the image in my mind:
"No! You can't leave! You're the best Hunter around, and if you stop, we're all dead!" I had yelled, trying to stop him from zapping himself out of reality.
"I have no point to live anymore. I can't fight vampires. SHE's one of them. I fight them, I fight her. My need is gone, you know?" He stopped walking to fiddle with his watch.
"If you die, then even finding a remedy won't change a thing! We have to try, no matter what!" I had argued, losing my patience.
"There's no more TIME to discuss it. I'm doing this, and you can't change it!" He said, "Oh taco, they're coming," He replied, seeing a giant evil horned dog approaching, complete with walking human/vampire entourage. Immediately, I--
"Well? Where's Samurmon? Mayuko impatiently interrupted my thoughts.
"I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?!" Zenko and I simultaneously yelled.
"You may not, but I do," An eerie figure replied.
"AAAAAHH!!! MONSTER!!!" Someone who most certainly wasn't me (cough cough) fearfully screamed.
"Oh, it's you Samurmon. That's happy-making," mindless Neanderthal Kei blathered like the lesser under-evolved mammal he was.
I'm not bitter. He just rarely makes sense.
"Not for you. Bushido Dance!!!" Samurmon attacked, leaping to Zenko (I applaud his intelligence) with his sword prepared to stab. Not that I have any problem with stabbing, of course.
Evidently, Triggamon did.
Leaping in front of Zenko, she leveled her gun at Samurmon and fired. Miss.
"My, what a great shot you are. Follow Blade!" Samurmon prepared, regaining his footage on the ground in front of her. All eight feet quickly pulsed and pumped him back into the air. He tossed a single katana to the ground, which hit Triggamon, sending her to a convenient dirt pad in front of Mayuko.
"You can't lose now Triggamon! This ought to help! Bigpainfulchainsaw.exe!" Mayuko activated bigpainfulchainsaw.exe, giving Triggamon a big, painful looking chainsaw. Of course, Triggamon did not get up, being unconscious.
Having nothing to lose, I decided to. .. No, not buy a copy of the new Legend of Zelda game; though I wish I had; I decided to help! I froze some water out of the air's moisture above Triggamon's head and let loose. After about four minutes of hearing spluttering and spitting and gasping and screaming and drowning, I decided that helping was too much trouble and sat down again. It's not easy freezing moisture, folks!
Lucky for me, Triggamon was no longer not anti-unconscious. Samurmon, deciding to be honorable or whatever waited until then to strike. However, Triggamon was ready with the chainsaw. Mmm, chainsaw.
"Ha. Don't you realize that if you attack me you kill Samurmon instead? Pathetic," The evidently only-partly Samurmon gloated like cheese on a monkey. Lucky for us, a herd of Ogremon chose to take that exact moment to pass by. He-who-was-not-Samurmon leapt on the opportunity to not be Samurmon and be a champion instead. How cute.
You know, I hate being with all of these humans and easily-mind- controlled digimon. I've written a song about it. It's to the tune of "The Brady Bunch"!
Here's the story Of a bunch of losers Who were really really really really dumb If it were for me They'd all be rat food But they don't care so let us move on to my verse.
Here's the story Of a really smart monkey Who was better than a human, ain't it great? He was almost A real genius What the heck, I'll lie and say he really was.
So the people and the monkey and the ninja Got together (Oh I hate them all so much) So they joined up To fight some evil That is why I hate them all so very much.
So very much So very much That is why I hate them all oh so much!
Did you like it? Of course you did, I wrote it.
I'm getting off topic again, aren't I?
Sorry about that.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah: the Ogremon.
Indeed, being evil has its perks. For instance, you can betray anyone, and nobody else will eye a bat-lid. I mean, bat an eye-lid. The evil Ogremon busted up the caps of his entire lurching horde.
Another advantage is the really cool evil laugh you get! "Mwahaahaha. .. You have no chance to survive make your time. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!" you can even re-use old jokes.
"That's cruel. Triggamon, you avenge the busted caps of the cap- busted Ogremon," Zenko ordered. I have no idea what gave him that right.
"Sure. LEAD ZEPPELIN!" Triggamon complied with Zenko's request.
"YEARGH! BONE CUDGEL!" It yelled, throwing its bone at the incapacitated Samurmon.
"Hey! No fair!" Triggamon leaped in Samurmon's way, taking the blow.
"Hey. .. Thanks. .. Triggamon. .." Samurmon whispered, propping himself up with one of his arachnid legs, "Sword Beam!" (First ever author's note: I was watching Kirby, okay? A cookie for anyone who previously noticed the reference.)
"Huh. Puny Rookies. YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!!! PUMMEL WHACK!!!" The angered Ogremon yelled, lopping off Samurmon's sword-arm. I couldn't say sword, that wouldn't be violent enough!
"Hurgh. .. Don't be so sure. .." Samurmon whispered, barely able to keep his mind working.
"DNA DIGIVOLUTION!" Both Triggamon and Samurmon yelled in synchronization.
It was amazing. I'd never seen it before, I was half-dead when it last happened near me.
Their bodies shimmered for a moment, as though they were apart from the stormy typhoon. They then seemed to fall apart, leaving only the wire frames that made up the Digital World. They changed, the polygons shifted into halves of a warrior. They came together, and became a digimon again.
Standing at approximately ten feet, it was covered in guns, grenades, katana, and even some nun-chucks. You could see that this guy meant business. Long, blue hair, in an effeminate style, you nevertheless couldn't see whether this new digimon was inherently male, such as Samurmon, or naturally possessing female qualities, similar to Triggamon.
"Wh- Wh- Who ARE you?" The Ogremon gaped. Evidently, he was a fan of Stinkoman, too.
"I am Armegamon, the bringer of destruction. Prepare to perish. HOLOCAUST BLOW!" It spoke with a voice that knew all, as it were. The attack was like a nuclear strike, complete with multiple stabbings and explosions.
"I'm not going to give up that easily. BONE-" The evil Ogremon was cut off by the most vicious attack of all.
"EYE POKE!!!" The almighty Armegamon poked. After so long, the evil Ogremon was. .. Wait for it. .. BALEETED!!!!!!!!!!! (Second author's note: I promise, I'll lay off the Homestar copyright infringements from here on out.)
And with that the evil was destroyed. I think. He might have just possessed a nearby innocent. I'm amazed that no one commented on the already dead innocent Ogremon. Oh, and Samurmon got his arm back!
Ending notes:
Next chapter will (probably) be in the point of view of the vampire Toni, written by the very person she is. .. Sort of based on, I.E. Toni! Oh, and remember: this chapter is the best, because it was released to the public on Death-To-Pikachu-Day!
