Disclaimer: Blahi.
*
'Jemerian!'
Daleria flew ahead of the pack of Guosim and Salamandastron hares, hugging her old friend fiercely. The abbess laughed slightly.
'Daleria! It is good to see you well. I was hoping that you would be able to make it here, my friend.'
'You doubted that I actually wouldn't?'
The two friends laughed together. It felt good, back in familiar yet different a territory. Many of her other friends from Redwall were also coming out to greet them. A young squirrel in particular, barely out of dibbunhood, rushed up to her. Daleria gasped when she saw him.
'No! This cannot be the Thrush that I left behind a few mere seasons ago!'
The squirrel grinned and clambered nearly on top of her in an heated embrace. The hare captain got thrown to the ground, eliciting much laughter from those around them. Her old companion when she was at Redwall, Thrush, the dibbun who had got himself lost during the berry picking and stumbled upon her, lost in Mossflower. It had been near impossible to separate the two of them at her stay at the great sandstone abbey. It felt wonderful. It made her feel so alive. Like nothing could get in her way, or turn her down. Like tomorrow would erase everything that had happened, and all would be good again. Truly to live, and live with purpose. A simple, yet unrestrained and bold feeling. Something freedom would envy. Daleria struggled up, finally composing herself enough to introduce her fellow members from Salamandastron. Nodding to Jemerian, she started.
'This,'
Daleria pointed to Rapieratce,
'is colonel Rapieratce, the only current hare who has been able to best me in swordplay, of which I assure you, he will get heavily abused for, highest ranking hare on the mountain currently being abused by yours truly.'
Daleria had to duck a swipe to a head for the last comment. Moving on, she pointed to Remora.
'Second highest ranking, though I still prefer torturing 'Atce to Remora here. Brigadier with a sense of humanity, something you don't find too often in me. If you ask me, something is going on between her and Glamoren.'
There, she had to dance away from a seething brigadier and a equally as mad major. Laughing at Glamoren, she went on,
'Calm down, I was only jesting! The major here, who is trying to behead me, is the south pawed Glamoren, whom I have awarded my personal degree in fooling around with Rapieratce. Only other hare besides me who dares to, at any rate.'
Finally reaching Longrunn, she finished off.
'Sergeant Longrunn, first person in my patrol to knock sense into me. Wonderful job he does. Not very well paid, save for me biting his head off every now and then, and the access dump of boring councils that I never bothered to attempt attending. That, my friends, is the lot of jolly fools me and my friends are. For those that can't remember me, woe to you. I'll behead you when I have the time.'
Laughing, thus, the contingent of shrews and hares were led into Redwall.
*
'No!'
'Yes.'
'No! Captain Daleria, if you think you are going to talk me into doing this, you are absolutely out of your bally mind.'
'No, I'm not out of my mind, and yes you are going to do this. Be it if I have to do so by force.'
'What are you going to do, push me into the meadowcream?'
'Don't tempt me, sah.'
'Don't try to bribe me by calling me "sah". It isn't going to work.'
Glamoren, Remora and Longrunn sat on the battlements, watching in interest at Daleria tried to get Rapieratce into the kitchens to help, were preparations were going on full scale. In this case, a bunch of moles were demolishing the entire kitchen and throwing everything into havoc with the deeper n' ever pie, giant scale, that they were making. Even the lithest of hares would not get out of there alive. Rapieratce knew enough of his Redwall history to try and get out of it. Rapieratce glared at the three officers grinning madly at him.
'You three keep on doing that, and I'll make sure that I'm not the only one getting into this mess.'
In unison, the trio replied, still grinning their heads off,
'Yes, sah!'
Grumbling and moaning, and trying desperately to peel Daleria off him and the idea, the colonel backed away from the captain. Daleria only pulled him harder, trying to drag him into the kitchens. Signalling to the watching three, they pounced, as if on cue. Rapieratce struggled madly to get away from the grips of four of his own officers.
'You planned this whole bally assault, didn't you, Dale? Let go of me, right now!'
Nobeast heeded him, and he was dragged, kicking and shouting, off to the abbey kitchens. It was already chaos when they entered. Dibbuns threw cherries at each other, meadowcream flew thick and fast, blueberry paste was on the walls and floor, potatoes were mashed all over the tables, and the kitchen helpers scrambled to get the foods that were intact into the stores. Even Jemerian was standing half drenched in meadowcream, chucking half of a pasty shell off her head towards Foremole, laughing uproariously. Order was not the priority. Even the abbess threw it out the window. Action turned to the five hares that entered. The dibbuns who knew Daleria grinned malicious smiles that should not have been on their lips, as with a subtle flick of her paw, they attacked. Remora, Glamoren, Longrunn and Daleria all dropped the colonel and scurried off to various other corners of the kitchen, while cherries flew towards the colonel. Rapieratce cursed slightly before dropping to the floor out of instinct, the cherries thus pelting an unfortunate Glamoren and several squirrels who were all not fast enough to get out of the way. Jumping up, he flicked his head to the right as a patch of meadowcream came for him, after which he bent his body in a twist around a table to avoid a filled pastry from murdering him. Rapieratce had to spin a full three sixty to avoid a blob of raspberry jam sent his way courtesy of Daleria, before throwing himself over a dibbun to avoid a peach flung by Glamoren. It was pay back time. Randomly grabbing a pawful of dried apple rings as he jumped, the colonel gave up self restraint and dignity as he dripped them into cream and flung them off towards Longrunn and Remora. Both hit target, and the sergeant ended up looking like a clown with two well placed apple rings over his eyes, while Remora had attained two on her ears and one down her tunic. Everybeast roared with laughter. Smartly flicking his lithe body away from a handful of sugar cubes, Rapieratce prepared his full assault. Grabbing a wooden bowl filled with orange pulp, he twisted away from another assault of cherries, grabbing a bottle of red currant jam and emptying it in as he went, before filling in some apple cubes meant for pie. Jumping over a dibbun with surprising balance, not once dirtying himself, the colonel proceeded to snatch a ready made pie cover from a tabletop that was stacked with pastries, laying atop his makeshift pie. In all the mayhem, he had managed to stray behind Daleria without her noticing him. The captain was too busy pelting Thrush with onions. Delicately picking himself over to Daleria, he tapped her shoulder. When the captain turned to see who it was, he put on his most wicked smile.
'Surprise!'
The bowl emptied itself onto her face. Howling, the captain tried to attack the colonel, but by the time she had got the orange pulp out of her eyes, he had somehow fled the kitchen. And marvel. His tunic was still perfectly clean.
