::The Annals I: Rapieratce Part III::

Disclaimer: I RULE THE WORRRRRRRLD!

A/N: Whee! It's immense fun to write this... Love to torture 'Atce. *Huggles the stunned colonel* Heh.

*

Rapieratce strode briskly up to the colonel's study, a sheaf of papers in paw. It was late in the evening, and most of the younger hares were being ushered to bed by fussy parents who were all tired to the bone after a day of chasing after the leverets around the interior. The winter season was often the time that the leverets got into the most mischief, which caused massive headaches all around for the older hares on the mountain. Rapieratce chuckled, ruffling the ears of one that pelted by him. He recognized it as Deternian, and as if on cue, Remora ran up, panting.

''Atce! Why didn't you stop him?'

Rapieratce raised an eyebrow at his friend.

'Babysitting for Emanel again?'

'And you're not making the job any easier for us! Clandestine is on the lower floors, searching her ears off.'

Rapieratce chuckled again, stopping momentarily to converse with the befuddled drill sergeant.

'Why don't you just ask the poor chap to bed?'

Remora snorted, wiping a trickle of sweat off her brow as she tried to control her breathing.

'You think all leverets are as obedient as you were? You have to be joking me, 'Atce. This lot of leverets could make even you want to strangle them.'

The captain laughed slightly.

'Really? Well, have to be off. Don't run too hard now.'

Rapieratce ducked his head as Remora tried to punch him, and laughing he went up the corridor. He came to Galde's door, only to find it slightly agape, which was strange, as the old colonel was extremely particular about his door being closed to keep out the drafts that came up from the interior. Not bothering to knock for the moment, the captain pushed the door back, and had to stifle a laugh from escaping when he saw what was inside. Young Deternian, whom Clandestine and Remora were both evidently looking for, was being chased by an exasperated Galde around the study, hefting aloft the colonel's pace stick and laughing in a most discerning way. Rapieratce leaned his form against the door frame, watching with an amused look imprinted on his features. This was certainly a change in schedule for him. The colonel growled as he pushed swiftly past Rapieratce to try and restrain the laughing Deternian.

'Stand down there looking any more aloof than you already are, Rapieratce, and I'm setting you on double guard for the next five seasons.'

Rapieratce heeded him not, choosing instead to close the door and lean full back, enjoying the scene enormously. A sudden knocking from behind caused him to move away and open the door, of which Clandestine was behind. Inviting the stunned captain in with a wry smile, Rapieratce watched as her jaw dropped at the rather disturbing scene before them. As Deternian rushed by, Clandestine reached out and grabbed the errant leveret, all while apologizing to the colonel in a rushed gush. Snatching the pace stick out of Deternian's paw, she gave it back to the colonel with a sheepish smile before turning and dragging the mischievous Deternian out of the study. When she had closed the door, Rapieratce began to laugh, chortling slightly. Galde whacked him across the head with his pace stick, muttering about how he was going to fry Rapieratce as soon as he regained his breath. This only made Rapieratce even more amused, and it took some time before he regained himself to pass the colonel the sheaf of papers in his paw. Galde ran his eyes over the document, shaking his head.

'Your first day back and you've already got the report done? I don't believe you.'

Rapieratce snorted.

'And this is coming from the hare of whom demanded I do my reports on time? You used to get in a tiff when I passed up my report on the second day instead of the first.'

'There is a difference, you realize, between a two day report and a two week report?'

'You never clarified, sah.'

'You're impossible, 'Atce, utterly impossible.'

'That's because you've trained me to be impossible.'

'Ah, so that's your reason now, is it?'

*

The officers' mess was in a complete uproar. Some leverets had decided it would be much fun to cause a food fight there, thus dragging half of the normal mess into the officers' mess, and there was practically no state of control as Consellariel had decided not to turn up. Even Galde could not stop it. Officers were running amok, trying, in vain, to get everybeast under control to no avail. Rapieratce was about to walk into the mess when half a cabbage flew past his head. The stunned captain ducked behind the door as half a pastie flew towards him. Opening the door tentatively, Rapieratce had to keep his head low to get inside without being pelted by some form of edible ammunition. Moving to Galde's side, the captain shouted over the chaos.

'Sah! What should we do?'

'What can we do, 'Atce? Go get Consellariel, it's the best we can muster.'

Fighting his way out, getting hit by a cake on the side of his head in the process, Rapieratce struggled out of the mess and made his way to the forge room, where Consellariel was most likely to be. He looked utterly ridiculous, with cream splattered down one side of his face and half the contents of a pastie spread over his tunic. Dashing as quickly as he could, Rapieratce made it to the forge with as little delay as he could. Knocking, he heard Consellariel beckon to him to enter. Stepping sheepishly in, he gave a smart salute.

'Lady Consellariel, there is a little... problem in the officers' mess that you might want to acknowledge, marm!'

Consellariel eyed him with a raised eyebrow, standing and moving towards the door.

'Very well, move along.'

Breathing a mental sigh of relief, Rapieratce led her down to the officers' mess, opening the door. The captain promptly shut it again to avoid a cabbage splattering him on the face. A thudding noise could be heard as various types of ammunition thudded against the door. After a moment, Rapieratce mustered up the daring to open the door. A piece of cake instantly flew at him, and the captain ducked out of reflex. The cake smashed itself onto Consellariel. All activity ground to a halt as the occupants of the room realized who they had just struck down. Wearing an amused look on her face, Consellariel entered the mess. Officers waited with bated breath as the badger lady addressed all the leverets, of which their paws fell useless to their sides. Obviously thinking the situation quite funny, Consellariel walked over the Deternian, beckoning the leveret over to tell her the full story, chuckling as the young hare related the tale to her. Everybeast in company breathed a silent cry of relief that the badger lady was not furious with them. Deternian finally wrapped up the relation, and Consellariel stood up.

'Well, who am I to stop your fun?'

An utter outroar broke out in accordance to that remark, and soon food was flying everywhere once again. Groaning, all the officers gave up trying to instil control and pushed their way out of the mess. Grumbling, Galde walked next to Rapieratce.

'Well, there goes lunch, I suppose.'

The colonel was completely drenched in all forms of food and drink. Being a colonel, most of the leverets took their chances and pelted him with as much as they could. It was not often one could disgrace an officer of that rank and make out of the affair alive. Next to Galde, Rapieratce looked positively clean.

'I say sah, you looked jolly well messed up.'

'You state the bloomin obvious, 'Atce. You'll soon learn that high rank comes with its bally disadvantages.'

The officers were all in a sorry state of affairs. Consellariel laughed as she looked at them.

'You lot look as if you've been through a war.'

Scoffs from all sides broke out in return,

'You want to try going in there, marm? I'll warrant you'd last about five blinkin seconds!'

'Totally right, old chap! That place's a battlefield!'

'I'd rather be on a battlefield then there, mind you.'

Chuckling, Consellariel spoke her piece.

'Don't worry about your revenge. A certain few leverets are going to have to clean up a certain mess after this.'

*

*Back to the future*

'Consellariel actually warranted a food fight?'

'Heh, you should have seen the aftermath.'

'True, 'Moren. The leverets were mopping about with rags a good half of the next three days.'

'Yes. I clearly remember Deternian half dead.'

'I bet you only remembered because you didn't end up chasing him up half the mountain to send him to bed first, 'Mora.'

'Well, you have a point, but...'

*