Faramir

Faramir sighed. Here he was staring out, over Osgiliath, and he hated himself for it, instead of wanting to save her. All he wanted was to be out in the forests, with the creatures and. he threw a stone in to the water. Why was he kidding himself. So much at stake now. He shook his head. Since boromir had died. Oh yes, he had found the body, so carefully laid to rest in a boat that was not of mortal origin. Elven built. It had to be. He knelt down on the hard floor and stared at his hands He knew not what to do. His father, was losing hope. And he himself did not have much of it left. The younger son of the steward of gondor, without hope. But men looked up to him.

And then there was his Queen.

Isilme.

A breath of fresh air. So different from the elves he had met in the woods. Yet, that's what he loved about her. Did he mention that he loved her? Yes he thinks he did. He laughed to himself.

He sighed.

Isilme, a dark raven beauty with so much of her father in her. Well he supposed she was like her father. He had never met the man. He laughed even harder. Imagine him knowing Gil-Galad, would he have liked him? Gil-Galad liked the Captain, he corrected himself. Not the other way around.

A tear fell from his eye. He had an unknown churning inside his body. He wanted a different life. So much war could tire a man. And then there was this king. Presumed dead. But he knew that Isilme thought otherwise.

Elves and their damn secrets. What would he think of this king? A runaway, who didn't face his destiny as the gondorians had all their lives?

Would he like him, would he bow to him.

Who knew.

"are you in pain Faramir?" a soft voice asked from the shadows.

"depends, on what you would define as pain". He replied.

"for an elf, it could be many things, often good or bad". She murmured softly. Silence greeted her words.

"would you like me to leave?" she asked him.

He shook his head slowly. She took a few steps forward to be equal to him.

"how was your meeting with Gandalf?" he asked.

"we shared information, Gandalf is like a grandfather to me". She replied.

"it took you a week to do only this?". He asked in awe.

She sighed. "I met with Haldir, we had some things to see to".

She would not discuss her relationship with Haldir to anyone, Haldir was a sensitive topic with her, and she was still distressed about it, their joining had been one of passion, desperation of something that they would never have again, and purest of all loves. No, she would not discuss Haldir with anyone, even the mortal she loved. So she changed the subject.

"you mourn your brother". It was a statement not a question.

"I mourn him, the loss, how empty my life is". He sighed, he noted her change of subject, he was not one to pry. Keep going like this faramir and you'll end up as flat as a blade of grass.

Silence greeted his words.

He looked at her. She wasn't looking at him but out at the lake.

"such beauty there once was, now being destroyed by the darkness". She said so softly he had to bend towards her to catch the words uttered in a moment of thought.

"not all beauty ends, sometimes it nourishes" he told her.

"you are angry with me faramir, I do not know why".

"I don't know myself".

"strange words for a mortal, they boast they know all of the world".

yes he was mortal, and she never let him forget it, no faramir, correct yourself, you never let yourself forget.

Whilst yes you love her, but she is immortal, you will die and she will go on. Such is life. A cruel blow. "Brother, at least you don't have to see me fail this way". He silently told boromir where ever he was.

Isilme turned to look at him.

"when you look at me, its not as if you are looking at me". She told him.

He turned to her, also. "I do not understand".

"you do not see me as your queen". She explained.

"and would you wish it so?" he countered. "I would do anything you asked of me Isilme".

"that is the problem faramir, you are to quick to lend your life to others, you do not see the danger until you are in the puddle, sinking, you must think more of yourself, I never considered myself Gondor's queen, just her keeper until her king decides to take what is his". She told him heatedly.

At that moment she truly believed in hate, for Aragorn, for not claiming his people, when they needed him so much.

"my life is to serve gondor". Faramir replied his own explanation.

"a minute ago you told me you were tired, your life was empty, is gondor empty?"

"must you repeat every word I say?". He asked her heatedly. This was something boromir also did to him.

"when you contradict yourself yes, it serves as a lesson, do you think me so superficial?, do you believe I am not prone to mistakes?, I make them everyday, I am not perfect, but I live with it, we all loose people we love". She told him.

"and whom would you have lost my lady?" a slap in the face if there ever was one.

"too many, (Haldir!)". she yelled out with her mind. She went back to the conversation at hand.

"I feel for your loss faramir, but is the weight of the dead worth risking yours needlessly?". She asked in return.

"I am here melamin". My love. Came haldir's reply.

"to serve my people and lands yes". He replied, faramir's words brought her back to the moment.

"you take the weight of a dead man". She replied.

"my brother - ". She held up her hand, it stopped him.

"I speak not of your brother, I will go before you end up hating me for who I am". She turned and left.

He was about to say something but felt it better not to.

Fool!.

He berated himself.