March 13th, 2002

Two months of trying. Two months of nothing. John hadn't gotten Jing-Mei pregnant and he was extremely upset. It hurt Jing-Mei to see the look in his eyes every time she got back a negative pregnancy test back. Over these past two months, Any doubts about having children that Jing-Mei had completely faded. She was so ready and it wasn't happening. They knew it took time and patience for a lot of couples. Jing-Mei had gotten pregnant so easily with Michael, but now nothing.

John and Jing-Mei sat in Dr. Coburn's office. They were so nervous. They were getting test results back and all of these determined their family future. Janet stepped out waving them in. John squeezed Jing-Mei's hand tightly and walked into the office.

"How are you doctors?" Janet asked with a smile.

"Nervous." Jing-Mei said as they sat down.

"It's alright to feel nervous. A lot of couples do when they're here in your position." She said picking up the folder. John stared at it.

"Are the results back?" Janet nodded.

"Yup." She said looking at the married couple. "There's nothing wrong that we can see. Your sperm count is fine and your egg count is fine. There's no reason why you should be having trouble getting pregnant." Jing-Mei looked down at her lap.

"Then why haven't we?"

"It's just harder for some couples even if these tests come back fine." Janet said.

"I just want a baby." Jing-Mei whispered. John squeezed her hand.

"Have you thought about other options?" Janet asked.

"Like what? Artificial insemination?" He asked. Janet nodded.

"A lot of couples do it." She said, "The drugs increase the egg droppage and the sperms. The likelihood of you getting pregnant because your counts are so good compared to couples whose counts are so great. It's something to discuss."

"What would we have to do?" John asked.

"Well, it's an extremely expensive procedure." She said, "But that isn't a problem is it?" John shook his head; "I would have to refer you to a specialist, someone who does this for a living. I would still be your primary provider though. It's um, long sometimes. There are a lot of doctor visits and hormone injections, but if it works the pay off is great." Jing-Mei smiled weakly. "This is a big decision. You two would definitely need to discuss this fully." John nodded in agreement.

"Could we have a moment to ourselves?" he asked. Janet stood up.

"Of course. Take your time." Janet nodded and exited the room. Jing-Mei looked at John.

"I want a child, John." Jing-Mei said.

"I know, Baby." He said, "How do you feel about this insemination thing?"

"Well, the baby will still be both of ours, so it's not like we're asking for a sperm or egg donor" Jing-Mei said, "It might take awhile though."

"It's already been two months." He said.

"At least we know this is neither of our faults." She sighed deeply. John nodded leaning back in the chair; "I wouldn't be opposed to trying this. We can at least talk to this other doctor." John nodded.

"Talking is good." John said. Jing-Mei held back a sob. He looked at his wife. "Are you okay?"

"No I'm not okay." She moaned as she started to cry. "I really want a baby with you. I really really want a baby. It was never this hard last time."

"I know." John whispered softly. It broke his heart seeing her like this. "Last time was different though. God wanted you and Frank to create Michael so his family would finally have a baby. God is just taking his time right now because he's trying to find the right baby for us. When he find it, he will give it to us."

"I hate waiting." She whispered wiping her eyes.

"So do I." John said, "Let's just talk to this doctor first before we getting our hopes down." Jing-Mei nodded again slowly.

"Let's just go, John. I need to rest." She said. John got up. He could tell just from the way she was avoiding his eyes that she thought this was partly his fault.

"Okay, we'll make an appointment later." He wrapped his arm around his wife. Who knew trying to have a baby would be so hard?

* * *

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